115+ Apple Jokes & Puns: You’ll Love These Cores!

Get ready to laugh your apples off! This is where the best apple puns and humor come to play. You’re about to discover a hilarious list of the most clever and positive apple jokes that will make you the apple of everyone’s eye. Fun fact: did you know Apple once released a clothing line? It’s true! While they’re known for tech, maybe they’ll get back into fashion…though we might have to wait for a really long time for those iPants to drop! But enough about that, let’s get to the core of the matter – apple jokes!

Top Apple Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks For a Delicious Laugh

1. What did the apple say to the worm? Get a-head in life!
2. I love you from the bottom of my core… Your Apple of my eye.
3. What does a tech-savvy apple picker use? An Apple Watch.
4. My doctor told me to eat an apple a day… So I bought an orchard.
5. Apple picking? It’s orchard-ing my nerves.
6. Who’s Apple’s favorite artist? Vincent van Gogh.
7. Dating an apple farmer is great… They really know how to a-peel to you.
8. Having trouble concentrating today? Must be a lack of Apple-cation.
9. What’s an apple’s favorite song? Anything by Fiona Apple!
10. What happened when the apple went on a diet? It became a pineapple.
11. I threw a rotten apple at a bad singer… It was a missed call.
12. Why are apples so bad at swimming? They always get cored out.
13. What do you call an Apple product announcement? A fruit launch.
14. Sir Isaac Newton was onto something… An apple a day keeps the doctor away, especially if you throw it hard enough.
15. The iPhone is getting really pricey… I need to sell my car for parts. You know, get some Apple-cated financing.
16. I tried starting a dating app for fruit… It turned out to be a real pear-pressure situation.
17. What does an apple use to text? An iSeed.

Funny Apple One-Liner Jokes To Make You Smile

1. I tried to make apple juice in prison, but I couldn’t find a recipe without a pearole clause.
2. My friend said his new job at the Apple factory was stressful, but honestly, it sounded like easy peasy apple squeezy to me.
3. I threw an apple at a guy who kept calling me names. Turns out, he’s a professional fruit ninja.
4. You know what they say: An apple a day keeps everyone away, if you throw it hard enough.
5. I saw a sign that said “Pick Your Own Apples – $5 a Peck”. Seems a bit steep, I can get a whole iPad for that much!
6. My wife left me because she said I was too obsessed with apples… I honestly thought we had a core connection.
7. Dating an Apple engineer is great, he’s always showering me with new releases.
8. I tried to explain to my dog that apples are good for him, but he just looked at me like I was barking mad.
9. I bought a vintage Apple computer today. It only runs one app, but at least it’s on brand: Candy Crush Saga.
10. My kid asked me how apples grew. I told him, “With great app-titude!”.
11. I’m starting a band called “The Apple Cores”. We’re going to be pit-iful, but at least we’ll have a solid core fanbase.
12. Why do apple orchards make so much money? They have appealing prices.
13. What does an apple use to surf the internet? A Mac-intosh.
14. I used to be addicted to Apple products, but I finally kicked the habit… cold turkey.
15. An apple fell on my head, now I have a bruise account.
16. Did you hear about the lawyer who specialized in fruit-related cases? He was known for his appellate expertise.
17. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick… but an apple is a close second.

QnA Jokes & Puns about Apple: Core Comedy Collection

1. Q: Why did the apple go out with the prune? A: Because he couldn’t find a date!
2. Q: What’s an apple’s favorite romantic movie? A: “You’ve Got Mail… Order Bride!”
3. Q: How do trees get on the internet? A: They log in!
4. Q: What did the apple say to the apple picker? A: “Leaf me alone!”
5. Q: Why don’t they allow Apple products at picnics? A: Because they’re always getting bitten!
6. Q: Why did the apple go to the party alone? A: Because its iPhone was on DND: “Do Not Date!”
7. Q: What’s red and bad for your teeth? A: A brick… but apples are a close second!
8. Q: Why did the apple pie cross the road? A: It saw a scoop of ice cream on the other side!
9. Q: What’s it called when two iPhones fall in love? A: An iCouple!
10. Q: Why did the apple get a job at the tech support hotline? A: It was really good at troubleshooting!
11. Q: What do you call a sad strawberry dating an apple? A: A berry bad romance!
12. Q: What do you get when you cross an apple and a Christmas tree? A: A pineapple!
13. Q: Why did the apple break up with the orange? A: It couldn’t stand the peel-ings!
14. Q: How do you make an apple turnover? A: Push it down a hill!
15. Q: What kind of apple do ghosts like? A: A boo-berry apple!
16. Q: Why was the apple blushing during apple picking season? A: Because it saw the cider being made!
17. Q: What’s an apple’s least favorite day of the year? A: Halloween! They hate getting carved!

Dad Jokes about Apple: Ready for a Core Laugh?

1. I tried to make apple juice from scratch. Turns out, it was a bad pear-digm shift.
2. Why did the apple go out with the prune? Because he couldn’t find a date.
3. What did the apple say to the worm? Nothing, apples can’t talk!
4. Why did the apple get detention in school? It kept throwing apple cores at the teacher.
5. You know what they say about apple turnovers in this town? Neither do I, but they must sell a lot because there’s never any left!
6. My son told me he wanted to be a fruit when he grows up… I told him, “Don’t be ridiculous, you’ve got to be more realistic than that!”
7. My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it apple picking. It seemed to really enjoy itself.
8. What’s an apple’s least favorite subject in school? History. It’s full of dates!
9. I used to work at an apple orchard… but I got fired for taking too many breaks. Apparently, “cider-consideration” wasn’t a valid excuse.
10. An apple a day keeps the doctor away… But if you throw it hard enough, you might be able to get two days!
11. What do you call an apple that plays the trumpet? A tootin’ fruit!
12. Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his food with the apple in the ocean? Because he was shellfish!
13. I just bought the most emotional apple I’ve ever seen… It’s a real cry-baby Granny Smith.
14. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
15. Why did the apple go on a date with the orange? Because they were a perfect pear! Wait…
16. I saw a sign that said “Watch for Apples.” So I kept my eye out, but I only saw oranges. Guess it wasn’t very accu-rate.

Funny Quotes and Captions about Apple: From Orchards to iPhones

1. My therapist told me to find something to core about. I guess it’s time to visit the apple orchard! 🍎
2. You’re the apple of my pie… if you were a pie, and, well, an apple. 😉
3. I only date people who love apples. It’s a core value of mine. 😏
4. My love for you is like an iPhone – expensive, constantly needing updates, but I can’t live without it. 😅
5. Just saw someone steal an apple from the grocery store. I’m calling the iPolice! 🚓
6. Apple picking: the only time it’s socially acceptable to pick on something smaller than you. 🍎🤏
7. My doctor said “an apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Now I have eight doctors. I think I took it too literally. 👨‍⚕️🍎👨‍⚕️🍎👨‍⚕️🍎👨‍⚕️🍎
8. I tried to make an apple pie from scratch. Turns out you need real apples, not just the Apple logo. 🤦‍♀️
9. Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a new iPhone, which is basically the same thing. 📱😁
10. You know you’re addicted to your phone when you try to swipe right on an actual apple. 🍎👉😅
11. Life is like an apple: You take a byte, then realize it had a worm in it all along. 🐛🍎😭
12. What’s red, round, and makes people camp outside for days? A new Apple product. 🎪🍎
13. I tried to explain to my dog that he couldn’t have my iPhone. He just gave me the pawful reality that I don’t have a leg to stand on. 🐶🐾🍎
14. I’m not saying I’m clumsy, but I once tripped over an apple stem…in a supermarket…on a flat surface. 🍎🚶‍♀️💥
15. Love is like an apple: sweet and delicious, but occasionally you bite into a worm. And then you need a new apple. 💔🍎
16. My bank account after buying the new iPhone? Let’s just say it’s feeling a little melon-choly. 🍉💸
17. What did the apple say to the orange? “Don’t be such a sourpuss!” 🍎🍊🤣

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Apple: A Core Collection

1. An Apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit! 🍎❤️
2. A rotten apple spoils the bunch, but a juicy gossip spoils the brunch. 🤫🍏
3. Don’t judge an apple by its peel, unless it’s a banana disguised as a rebel. 🍌🥸
4. You can’t compare Apples and Oranges, especially in a fruit fight, they bruise differently. 🍊💥🍎
5. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, unless it’s launched by a squirrel on a trampoline. 🐿️🚀
6. An Apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough. 😠🍎
7. One bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch, unless you’re making applesauce. 🍎🥣
8. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless you’re allergic and the bush holds golden apples. ✨🍎🤧
9. You must be the Apple of my eye, because I can’t see anything else when you’re around. 😍🍎
10. I love you more than Apple loves a new product launch (and that’s saying something). 🚀🍎❤️
11. Apple picking: where the only thing getting picked on is the fruit. 🍎😂
12. Life is like apple picking, you have to grab the good ones before someone else takes a bite. 😉🍎
13. Apple a day keeps the doctor away, but apple picking makes for a great Instagram story! 🍎📱🩺

Apple Double Entendres Puns: Juicy Wordplay and Core Humor

1. I tried to resist the new Apple product, but I guess you could say I fell for its core values. 🍎
2. My date kept talking about her love for Apple products. Turns out, she was just orchard-ing me for a new iPhone. 🍎
3. Feeling a little bruised after that breakup. Guess you could say love hurts, even when it’s not from the forbidden fruit. 🍎
4. This Apple Watch is amazing! It can track my every move…which is slightly concerning for a fruit that’s supposed to keep the doctor away. 🍎
5. She said her heart was like a finely crafted Apple device – sleek, intuitive, and definitely out of my league. 🍎
6. Went apple picking on a first date. Turns out, we both reached for the same Granny Smith. It must be fate…or just really good taste in apples. 🍎
7. My therapist told me to visualize my problems disappearing. I’m still waiting for that Apple Genius Bar appointment. 🍎
8. They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if you throw it hard enough, it might just keep everyone away. 🍎
9. This cider is amazing! They really fermented the core values of those apples. 🍎
10. My friend claims his new job at Apple is “life-changing.” I told him to chill out, it’s not like he invented the fig newton. 🍎
11. Dating app profiles are like apple picking. So many choices, but you’re really just hoping to avoid the rotten ones. 🍎
12. I tried to explain the concept of an “Apple ecosystem” to my grandma. She just offered me a slice of her homemade apple pie. 🍎
13. My dog ate my headphones again. Guess that’s what I get for buying from the Apple store of hard knocks.🍎
14. The line for the new iPhone launch was insane. Talk about a bad case of i-don’t-see-the-apple-of-my-eye. 🍎
15. I’m starting to think my Apple addiction is a problem. I mean, I even sleep with my iPad under my pillow… for optimum signal strength, of course. 🍎
16. My friend said his love life is like an Apple product – constantly getting updated, but never quite compatible. 🍎
17. You know you’re a true Apple fan when you start referring to your friends and family as your “iCloud contacts.” 🍎

Funny Apple Tom Swifties: A Core Set of Jokes

1. “This cider tastes a bit fermented,” Tom said crab-apple-ly.
2. “I’m going to go buy the new iPhone,” Tom said apple-y.
3. “Don’t forget to pick up some Granny Smiths,” Tom said gravely.
4. “This apple pie is delicious!” Tom exclaimed decoratively.
5. “My favorite fairytale is Snow White,” Tom said poison apple-y.
6. “These caramel apples are sticky,” Tom said cling-ing-ly.
7. “I think I ate too many apple seeds,” Tom said cyanide-ly.
8. “This orchard has so many different varieties!” Tom said gala-ly.
9. “Pass the apple butter,” Tom said smoothly.
10. “I tripped and fell into the apple cider vat!” Tom said drunk-enly.
11. “My throat hurts from chewing all these apple seeds,” Tom said hoarse-ly.
12. “This apple pie is missing something,” Tom said crustily.
13. “Did you know apples can float?” Tom said buoy-antly.
14. “This apple is really shiny!” Tom said polish-edly.
15. “Ouch, I scratched myself on the apple branch,” Tom said sharp-ly.
16. “Did Adam and Eve really eat that apple?” Tom asked biblical-ly.
17. “Let’s carve our initials into this apple,” Tom said core-ly.

Knock-knock Jokes about Apple (Knock, knock. Who’s there?) for Kids

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apple. Apple who? Apple-solutely delighted you’re here!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apple. Apple who? Apple-arently, you didn’t hear me the first time. It’s me, Apple!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apple. Apple who? Apple-a-minute, I need to think of a punchline!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apple. Apple who? Apple-ing for a good laugh? You’ve come to the right place!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apple. Apple who? Apple-solutely no way you’ll guess this punchline!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apple. Apple who? Apple-ing all my strategies to make you smile!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apple. Apple who? Apple-ently, I’m funnier than a barrel of monkeys!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apple. Apple who? Apple-solutely not telling you the punchline unless you say please!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apple. Apple who? Apple-ing myself to the task of making you laugh!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Apple. Apple who? Apple-ing my trade – one pun at a time!