100+ Bar Jokes & Puns: You’ll Be Thirsty for More 😂

Get ready to belly up to the bar because we’re serving up a hilarious list of the best bar jokes and puns this side of happy hour! Did you know that the word “bar” actually comes from the counter that separates patrons from the bartender? Well, get ready to break down those barriers (not literally, please) with this collection of clever and positive humor that is sure to lift your spirits higher than a bartender reaching for the top shelf. Get ready to laugh, groan, and maybe even spit out your drink!

Top Bar Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: For a Good Laugh At the Bar

1. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of bar? A crowbar.
2. Heard about the lawyer who opened a bar? He got disbarred.
3. What’s the most awkward type of bar to visit? A granola bar.
4. Why did the chocolate bar melt at the pub? The music was too hot!
5. You know you’re at a rough bar when… “Good beer on tap” is written in crayon.
6. Want to know what lawyers and alcohol have in common? They both raise the bar… for bad behavior.
7. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato at the juice bar.
8. How do ghosts like their drinks? Spiriterized.
9. Why don’t they allow elephants in bars? They can’t hold their liqueurs!
10. Why is being a bartender so stressful? It’s all about highballs and low blows.
11. Always avoid arguing with a bartender. They always have the last call.
12. What’s a bee’s favorite drink at the bar? Anything with a honey-comb.
13. Never start a drinking competition with a fish… They’re always down for another shot.
14. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey… Then I turned myself around, went to a bar, and never looked back.
15. A man walks into a bar owned by Eminem… He says “Ouch!” Apparently, he forgot about Dre.

Funny Bar One-Liner Jokes To Make You Chuckle

1. I went to a bar where everyone knew my name; turns out it was just a really good library.
2. My friend opened a bar called “Karma”; there’s no menu, you just get what you deserve.
3. Did you hear about the lawyer who walked into a bar looking for a brief relationship?
4. The bar down the street only serves animal crackers. They have a very low bar for entry.
5. The new band was banned from the bar for playing “Stairway to Heaven”… apparently they took requests too literally.
6. A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants. The bartender asks, “Doesn’t that bother you?” The pirate replies, “Arrr, it’s drivin’ me nuts!”
7. Why was the soap opera actor banned from the sushi bar? He kept ordering drama rolls!
8. My grandpa said alcohol is the enemy, but then he whispered, “and the good book says to love your enemies.”
9. I told the bartender, “I’ll have what she’s having.” He said, “Good luck with that, she’s having a meltdown.”
10. My dog is a bartender in training. Right now, he’s mostly tail-tendering.
11. I went to a bar specializing in wordplay. They had an open mic night, but it was very literal – just a single microphone hanging by a string.
12. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, why the long face?” The horse replies, “I think I might have left the iron on.”
13. Never ask a bartender for a “surprise me” drink… you never know how literally they’ll take it.
14. I tried to explain to my dog that he couldn’t come to the bar with me… he just sat there and gave me sad puppy eyes. Guess I owed him a “bark”-ing lot apology.

QnA Jokes & Puns about Bar: Guaranteed to make you tipsy with laughter

1. Q: What’s a bee’s least favorite bar game? A: Hive and Seek.
2. Q: What did the lawyer order at the bar? A: A juris-drink!
3. Q: Why did the hipster order his drink from the middle of the bar? A: He wanted an underground cocktail.
4. Q: Where do sheep like to hang out? A: The baa-r.
5. Q: What do you call a bar that’s always moving? A: A mobile tavern!
6. Q: What did the bartender say to the rowdy group? A: “Listen up, everyone! It’s last call for alcohol!”
7. Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite type of bar snack? A: Barrr-beque chips!
8. Q: What’s a lawyer’s favorite drink? A: A sue-gar-free soda.
9. Q: How do you compliment a bartender’s dog? A: “That’s one bar-king good boy!”
10. Q: Why did the ghost go to the bar alone? A: He couldn’t find a boo-drinking buddy.
11. Q: What’s a musician’s favorite type of bar? A: A jazz bar, of course! They love to improvise with their drinks.
12. Q: What did the shy guy say when he worked up the courage to talk to someone at the bar? A: “Hi, I’m barrowing some of your time. Can I buy you a drink?”
13. Q: Did you hear about the bar that only served animal crackers? A: It was a real zoo in there!
14. Q: What do you call a bar that’s for outer space travelers? A: A space-bar!
15. Q: Why was the calendar always getting into trouble at bars? A: It got into one too many bar fights!
16. Q: What did the bar say to the spilled drink? A: “Hey, quit horsing around!”

Dad Jokes about Bar: The Ultimate Guide to Groan-Worthy Humor

1. Why don’t they serve beer at the library? Because they’re afraid someone will end up with a book hangover!
2. I saw a sign outside a bar that said “Free Drinks Tomorrow.” I thought, “This is my lucky day!” Then I realized… it’s always free drinks tomorrow.
3. What do you call a bar for dinosaurs? A T-Rex and Relax!
4. A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “For you, no charge!”
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award at the bar? Because he was outstanding in his field!
6. My wife asked me to pass the soap the other day. I told her, “No, let’s be reasonable and bar the soap.”
7. I walked into a bar made entirely of popsicle sticks. Turns out, it was just an ice breaker.
8. I went to a bar last night that had a sign outside: “Women get in free.” So, I went home and got my wife.
9. What do you call a bar that keeps losing all its money? Out of luck-er!
10. My friend tried to start a zoom meeting for local breweries. He called it “Bar-tual Reality”.
11. I wanted to name my new bar “WIFI”, that way I could say “Sorry, the WIFI’s down” whenever I needed a break.
12. What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish! Unless you’re at this bar I went to last night…
13. Why can’t basketball players ever go to bars? Because they always get called for traveling!
14. I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but then I turned myself around. Now, I just hang out at bars.

Funny Quotes and Captions about Bar: Raise the Bar on Laughter

1. I’m not saying I have a drinking problem, but I did just try to order a “round” from Amazon. 🍻
2. My therapist told me to set low expectations… so I lowered my standards for a good dive bar instead. 😉
3. I’m on a seafood diet. Every time I see food at the bar, I eat it. 🦐
4. You know you’re a regular at a bar when they start charging you rent for your “usual” stool. 🪑
5. Exercise? I thought you said extra fries! 🍟 (Perfect for a bar with a killer menu)
6. I’m at that age where “happy hour” is more of a state of mind than a time of day. 😌
7. Just saw a sign that said “Free Beer Tomorrow.” I guess I’ll be back tomorrow. 🤔
8. Sure, I could tell you about my weekend… or we could just skip to the part where I blame it on the tequila. 🍹
9. I went to a bar last night themed after carpentry tools. I had a screwdriver, but it was hard to break the ice. 🔨🧊
10. My love life is like a poorly stocked bar… all out of the good stuff. 😭
11. Don’t worry, I’m not addicted to alcohol. We’re just in a very committed relationship. 💍🍾
12. Drinking at home to save money is going great… except now I owe my liver rent. 💰
13. I’m not sure what’s higher, my bar tab or my standards after a few drinks. 🤷‍♀️
14. Life is too short to drink cheap beer. And let’s be honest, life’s too short to do a lot of things, so why not enjoy yourself? 🍻
15. Alcohol may not solve your problems, but hey, neither will milk.🥛 (Use responsibly!)
16. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and the bartender closest. 😉🍸

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Bar: For Cocktail Connoisseurs

1. A martini in hand is worth two on the bar tab. (Because you can’t forget to order it if it’s already in your hand!)
2. Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man miss all the happy hour prices. (Sleep is for the sober… and the frugal!)
3. Don’t cry over spilled beer; it’s a sign to order another round. (Waste not, want not, especially when it comes to discounted pitchers!)
4. Never judge a bar by its cover charge. Judge it by its cheapest tequila. (A true test of character for both the bar and the patron.)
5. A friend in need is a friend indeed, especially if they’re buying the next round. (True friendship knows no budgetary constraints.)
6. An empty wallet is a sign of a good time at the bar, an empty glass is a tragedy. (Priorities, people!)
7. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it do a tequila shot. (Though, the attempt would be highly entertaining.)
8. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, but you get more free peanuts at the bar if you’re friendly to the bartender. (A spoonful of charm goes a long way.)
9. Don’t judge a book by its cover, and don’t judge a cocktail by its umbrella. (Sometimes the most potent concoctions come in unassuming packages.)
10. A penny saved is a pint earned. (Frugal today, tipsy tomorrow!)
11. The early bird catches the worm, but the night owl catches the last call. (And sometimes, that’s a far more interesting catch.)
12. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was your bar tab. (It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself, champ.)
13. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two shots might make you forget why you were upset in the first place. (The bar: your temporary therapist.)
14. Silence is golden, unless you’re trying to get the bartender’s attention. Then, frantic waving and a twenty-dollar bill speak volumes. (Desperate times call for extravagant measures.)

Bar Double Entendres Puns: Jokes On Tap

1. I told the bartender I wanted to try something different. He cut me off after one drink. (Different drink vs. different customer)
2. I tried to explain to my dog why he couldn’t enter the bar. He just gave me a blank stare. (Empty look vs. staring at the bar counter)
3. You know you’ve had too much to drink when you try to pay your tab with a candy bar. (Chocolate bar vs. actual bar tab)
4. Dating a lawyer is tough. The bar is set so high. (Legal profession standards vs. literal bar height)
5. He tried to impress his date by ordering drinks in fluent bar code. (Scanning code vs. ordering at the bar)
6. She got thrown out of the knitting club for raising the bar too high. (Setting standards vs. literally raising a knitting needle)
7. A pianist walks into a bar… He was immediately placed on trial for assault. (Entering a place vs. playing a musical bar)
8. I wanted to learn how to pick up heavy objects, so I went to a metal bar. Turns out they mostly serve drinks. (Weightlifting bar vs. drinking establishment)
9. My friend’s a mime. He opened a silent bar. It’s really taken off; no one can say a bad word about it. (Quiet bar vs. inability to give spoken reviews)
10. She tried to do yoga after happy hour at the bar. Turns out, alcohol and downward dog don’t mix. (Yoga pose vs. being hunched over at a bar)
11. I saw a sign that said “Low Bridge Ahead.” I guess that’s the bar for limbo contests. (Limbo game height vs. a low standard)
12. I went to a bar that served only historical figures. I heard Joan of Arc complain about the stake sauce. (Grilled food vs. Joan of Arc’s execution)
13. I tried to make a graph about my drinking habits. It had too many bars. (Chart bars vs. visits to drinking establishments)
14. A vampire walks into a blood bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we only serve type O.” (Blood types vs. a bar serving drinks)
15. My therapist told me to remove all the negative bars in my life. Now my Wi-Fi signal is terrible. (Obstacles in life vs. signal strength bars)
16. That stand-up comedian really bombed at the open mic night. He couldn’t clear the lowest bar. (Performance quality vs. a physical bar he could trip over)
17. He proposed to her at the bar where they met. She said, “This is getting serious; are you sure you want to raise the relationship to a two-drink minimum?” (Relationship stage vs. bar drink minimums)

Funny Bar Tom Swifties for a Good Laugh

1. “This courtroom is a mess!” Tom said barredly.
2. “I love collecting antique beer openers!” Tom said openly.
3. “These cocktails are surprisingly weightless!” Tom said lightheartedly.
4. “That bouncer really knows how to handle a crowd,” Tom said bountifully.
5. “Did someone say it’s my turn to buy a round?” Tom asked roundly.
6. “The music is so loud in here!” Tom said deafeningly.
7. “I think I’ll order another drink,” Tom said drunkenly.
8. “This stool is quite comfortable,” Tom said seatedly.
9. “Is this seat taken?” Tom asked reservedly.
10. “These pretzels are making me thirsty,” Tom said saltly.
11. “Let’s get another round,” Tom said repeatedly.
12. “Did you see that fight break out?” Tom said brawlishly.
13. “I can’t believe they just carded me!” Tom said maturely.
14. “I think I’ve had one too many,” Tom said slurringly.
15. “These peanuts are stale!” Tom said crunchingly.
16. “Can you believe that guy just tried to leave without paying?” Tom said counterly.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Bar: For When You’re Feeling Sip-sational

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bar. Bar who? Bar-illiant you came along! I was running low on laughter.
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bar. Bar who? Bar-itoned and ready to deliver the punchline!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bar. Bar who? Bar-ometer reading says laughter is in the air!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bar. Bar who? Bar-elephant in the room? We all need a good laugh!