115+ Bone Jokes & Puns: I Find These Humerus!
Get ready to laugh your funny bone off! 😂 This isn’t just another list of puns, oh no, this is the ultimate compilation of the best bone jokes and humerus wordplay this side of the skeletal system. Prepare yourself for a rib-tickling ride through the world of bone humor, where we’ve got more puns than you can shake a femur at. Fun fact: Did you know your bones are four times stronger than concrete? Don’t test that out though, stick to testing out these clever jokes on your friends and family for some seriously positive vibes.
Top Bone Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Humerusly Funny
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A trom-bone.
- Did you hear about the skeleton who couldn’t play music? He had no guts.
- Why are skeletons so calm? Nothing gets under their skin!
- Feeling bonely on Valentine’s Day? Don’t worry, you’ll find your bone-afide love. 😉
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite snack? Spare ribs!
- How did I know the skeleton was lying? I could see right through him!
- Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? He didn’t have the guts.
- Calcium is essential for strong bones… Says the skeleton with the bonest advice.
- My friend fractured his humerus… On the plus side, he’s all right now!
- Did you hear about the skeleton detective? He had a bone to pick with the murderer!
- Give me a break… Said the bone as it snapped in half.
- Where do hippos go to university? College Station… and they major in Osteo-porosis.
Funny Bone One-Liner Jokes To Tickle Your Humerus
- I told my doctor I think I have a phone growing out of my arm, he said that’s quite humerus.
- My friend fractured his skull, I hear he’s got a bone to pick with someone.
- Never trust atoms, they make up everything, even your bones!
- My broken bone is healing well, it’s just a matter of tibia honest.
- Why don’t skeletons ever fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- Having a bone to pick with someone is a grave matter, especially in a cemetery.
- My friend said he studied bones in college, turns out he was just a domino enthusiast.
- I used to be a baker, but I got tired of kneading dough and making no bones about it.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato with brittle bones!
- Met a rapper who raps about the skeletal system, said he was dropping a new bone album.
- My doctor told me I need more calcium. Guess I’ll have to bone up on my dairy intake.
- What’s a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? A trom-bone!
- I’m feeling very philosophical about this broken leg, guess you could say I’m bone-dering the meaning of life.
- Life is like a box of bones, you never know what you’re gonna get.
QnA Jokes & Puns about Bone: Prepare to Laugh Your Skeleton Off
- Q: Why did the skeleton refuse to go to the scary movie? A: He didn’t have the guts.
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato! (Because they hang out in their mother’s pouch, get it? … Sorry, I’ll leaf.)
- Q: Why did the bone go to jail? A: It was caught boning up on its criminal skills.
- Q: What do you call a bone that’s always getting into trouble? A: A humerus character.
- Q: Why are skeletons so calm? A: Nothing gets under their skin.
- Q: Hey, did you hear about the skeleton who opened a restaurant? A: I heard the food was good, but it had no atmosphere.
- Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? A: He needed someone to push him!
- Q: Why are graveyards so noisy? A: Because of all the coffin!
- Q: What do bones study in school? A: Skelemeto-logy!
- Q: What do you call a bone that’s really good at playing music? A: A trombone-o!
- Q: What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A: A trom-bone!
- Q: How do you make a skeleton laugh? A: Tickle its funny bone!
- Q: What happens when a bone gets lost in Paris? A: It becomes a bone voyageur!
- Q: Why are skeletons bad at lying? A: You can always see right through them.
- Q: What does a skeleton order at a bar? A: A mop and a round of drinks for all his friends – it’s on the house!
- Q: Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the Halloween party? A: He had nobody to take!
- Q: Hey, what’s a skeleton’s favorite snack food? A: Spare ribs!
Dad Jokes about Bone: Humerusly Funny
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato with brittle bones!
- Why did the skeleton go to the store? To get some spare ribs!
- I went to a bone doctor the other day… Turns out he was just a skeleton with a good marketing team.
- Heard they’re making a movie about osteoporosis. I guess you could say it’s a real tear-jerker.
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the scary movie? He didn’t have the guts!
- You know what the opposite of a green bone is? A bone that’s been cremated.
- What do you call an indecisive skeleton? Bone-ified!
- My wife said I should be more supportive of her bone health. So from now on, I’ll always have her back!
- This Halloween, I’m going dressed as a broken bone. I know I’ll be a hit… once I arrive!
- I told my son I swallowed a bone. He looked terrified and said, “Are you okay?!” I said, “Calm down, I’m using my skele-tone!”
- What’s a skeleton’s least favorite musical instrument? A trombone! Because it’s already got three bones!
- Why didn’t the broken bone heal? Because it needed more time to bone up on its anatomy!
- How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? It could feel it in its bones!
- I’m reading a book about the history of skeletons. So far, it’s been pretty humerus!
Funny Quotes and Captions about Bone That Will Tickle Your Funny Bone
- My doctor told me I need to up my calcium intake. Guess I’ve been boning up on the wrong things.
- Life is like a skeleton: What you do with your backbone determines how far you’ll go.
- Never break someone’s heart; they only have one. Break a bone instead, they have 206! (Disclaimer: Please don’t actually break any bones.)
- Feeling lazy? Don’t worry, even your bones are tired of working.
- You can’t spell “funny bone” without “fun.” Coincidence? I think not!
- Just saw a skeleton riding a dog… I guess you could say he was boning up on his riding skills.
- I’m not sure what’s more impressive, the human skeleton or its ability to hold itself together with all this drama.
- Dating a paleontologist is great, they’re always finding things fascinating about me, especially my bone structure.
- Calcium: It’s not just good for your bones, it’s good for the funny bone too.
- Went to a seafood restaurant and ordered the fish bone broth. Turns out it was just water. A total bone-afide rip-off.
- Broke my humerus once. On the plus side, my funny bone was right there!
- My friend said I should try bone broth for my cold, said it was good for me. What’s he think I am? A dog?!
- You know you’re getting old when ‘getting lucky’ means finding your car keys on the first try and not tripping over a bone the dog left on the floor.
- My grandma told me drinking milk would help me grow big and strong. Well, I’m lactose intolerant, so I guess I’ll just be funny instead.
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato, all bone and no hop!
Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Bone: To Tickle Your Funny Bone
- A bone in the hand is worth two in the bushes… especially if you’re a dog.
- Don’t cry over spilled milk, especially if you broke a bone trying to get it.
- The early bird gets the worm, but the bone goes to the dog who wakes up first.
- You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but you can teach it to fetch a bigger bone.
- Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was a T-Rex skeleton.
- When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you bones, make broth… or a spooky xylophone.
- Two wrongs don’t make a right, unless you’re assembling a dinosaur skeleton. Then, two lefts can be a problem.
- What the eye doesn’t see, the heart doesn’t grieve over… unless it’s your missing wishbone.
- The grass is always greener on the other side… especially if they’re burying a bone over there.
- Don’t count your chickens before they hatch… or your bones before they’re x-rayed.
- Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today… especially if it involves going to the doctor for that weird bone thing.
- A watched pot never boils, but a watched bone will eventually be buried by a very determined dog.
- Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back… with a juicy bone in its mouth.
- You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink… unless you’ve dipped a delicious bone in it.
- Where there’s smoke, there’s fire… and where there’s a dog, there’s someone looking for their missing bone.
- People in glass humerus shouldn’t throw bones. (Okay, this one was just bad… but we had to get a ‘humerus’ pun in there!)
Bone Double Entendres Puns: Funny Bone Ticklers
- “I told her my love for her was to the bone. Apparently, calcium wasn’t the compliment she was looking for.”
- “She asked me to describe my ideal type. I said, ‘Someone bonely and beautiful.’ I think I need to work on my pickup lines.”
- “This morning I woke up feeling bone-tired. Guess all that dreaming about skeletons really takes it out of you.”
- “Dating a paleontologist is great. They’re always finding new ways to bone up on prehistory.”
- “I went to a Halloween party dressed as calcium. I was the bone to pick with all the skeletons.”
- “My doctor told me I need to eat more calcium-rich foods. Guess it’s time to bone up on my dairy.”
- “My dog is a huge fan of archaeology. Every time we go for a walk, he tries to bone up on his digging skills.”
- “I went to a seafood restaurant that served platters of bones. Talk about a shell-shocking experience.”
- “I tried to write a song about skeletons. It was pretty bare-bones.”
- “My friend said he wanted to work with animals, but wasn’t cut out for the zoo. I told him, “Don’t lose your spine, maybe you can still be a chiropractor.”
- “I’m starting a new job at the museum assembling dinosaur skeletons. They said I really boned up on my interview.”
- “The skeleton couldn’t figure out how to use the computer. He didn’t have the stomach for it.”
- “Those graveyard shifts at the museum are really starting to get to me. I’m bone weary.”
- “I met a girl at a dog park today. We really connected over our shared love of dogs and bone-dry humor.”
Funny Bone Tom Swifties: Humerusly Told Jokes
- “The doctor said I have a fractured ulna,” Tom said brokenly.
- “This femur is definitely fractured,” Tom declared splinteringly.
- “These X-rays show a clean break,” Tom said sharply.
- “I can’t believe I broke my humerus,” Tom said armily.
- “I need a bone marrow transplant,” Tom said marrowly.
- “This bone broth is delicious!” Tom said bonely.
- “My bones are aching,” Tom said jointly.
- “I think I have a hairline fracture,” Tom said finely.
- “That fall really rattled my bones,” Tom said shakenly.
- “This calcium supplement is just what my bones needed,” Tom said absorbingly.
- “My doctor specializes in the skeletal system,” Tom said bone-dryly.
- “I need to see a bone doctor,” Tom said skeletally.
- “I tripped over a dog bone,” Tom said retrievingly.
- “I’m reading a book about the skeletal system,” Tom said spinally.
- “Get to the bone marrow of the issue,” Tom said pithily.
- “Ouch, that really hurt my bones!” Tom said painfully.
Knock-Knock Jokes about Bone That Will Tickle Your Funny Bone
- Knock, knock. > Who’s there? Bone-jour. > Bone-jour who? Bone-jour, mon ami! How’s it going?
- Knock, knock. > Who’s there? Bone-anza. > Bone-anza who? Bone-anza time I knocked on this door, but I’m glad you’re finally home!
- Knock, knock. > Who’s there? Bone-ified. > Bone-ified who? Bone-ified comedian here, ready to tickle your funny bone!
- Knock, knock. > Who’s there? Bone-voyage. > Bone-voyage who? Bone-voyage? More like bone-tired of waiting for you to answer!
- Knock, knock. > Who’s there? Bone-d. > Bone-d who? Bone-d to happen, we were meant to be friends!
- Knock, knock. > Who’s there? Bone-ito. > Bone-ito who? Bone-ito, bone-ito, gotta catch a tasty snack-o!
- Knock, knock. > Who’s there? Humerus. > Humerus who? Humerus one question: Got any grapes?
- Knock, knock. > Who’s there? Bone-appetit. > Bone-appetit who? Bone-appetit! I hope you like what I brought for dinner!
- Knock, knock. > Who’s there? Bone-head. > Bone-head who? Bone-head you say that?! I thought we were friends!
- Knock, knock. > Who’s there? Bone-chilling. > Bone-chilling who? This bone-chilling weather makes me wish I had a skeleton to cuddle with!
- Knock, knock. > Who’s there? Broken bone. > Broken bone who? Broken bone-ly heart wants to know why you haven’t opened the door yet!
- Knock, knock. > Who’s there? Bone-afide. > Bone-afide who? Bone-afide genius standing right here, let me in!
- Knock, knock. > Who’s there? Bone-idle. > Bone-idle who? Why are you bone-idle? Get up and let me in!
- Knock, knock. > Who’s there? Bone-a. > Bone-a who? Bone-a give you a hug if you open this door!
