120+ Boxing Jokes & Puns: Jabbing into Laughter

Get ready to rumble with laughter because we’re stepping into the ring with the best boxing jokes and puns this side of the ropes! This list of clever quips packs a punch of humor that’s sure to leave you feeling punch-drunk on laughter. Did you know it takes about 5-6 months to grow back a full beard after shaving it for a boxing match? That’s a long time to stew over a split decision! But don’t worry, these jokes are all about positive vibes and knockout fun. Let’s get ready to chuckle!

Top Boxing Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Knockout Humor

I’m starting a boxing club for squid. It’s called “Squid Pro Quo.”
Just met a boxer who sells stationery. He’s a real paper-view athlete.
This boxing match is intense. I can’t watch. I have to glove myself.
Why are boxers such good dancers? They have fancy footwork.
Boxing refs always know how to break up the party.
That boxer’s career went downhill fast. Must’ve been a slippery slope.
Never ask a boxer to help move. They only deal with heavyweights.
I wanted to become a boxer, but I threw in the towel.
That punchline was a knockout!
Boxers really know how to string a sentence together.
The boxer was arrested for stealing. Turned out he was counter-fitting.
Tired of boring boxing matches? Watch them in reverse for an underdog story.
That cut above the boxer’s eye? A brow-raising experience, I’d say.
My friend started boxing. Now he’s got quite the following.
I walked into a boxing gym once. I didn’t like it – too intense atmosphere.
What do you call a boxing match between two kangaroos? A real jump scare!
The boxer who lost his sight in the ring? He went on to become a referee. They say he’s got a great sense of fair play.

Funny Boxing Jokes With One Liner Clever Boxing Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny Boxing One-Liner Jokes: Guaranteed Knockouts

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe-boxing bee!
I used to box professionally, but I had to quit. Turns out I’m a lover, not a fighter…and I kept missing the punchline.
I wanted to buy some vintage boxing gloves, but the guy selling them refused to go a round on the price.
I’m writing a children’s book about boxing. It’s gonna be knockout.
My friend told me he was unbeatable at boxing. Turned out he was just pulling my punches.
Why did the boxer get lost? He took too many lefts.
You know you’re a true boxing fan when you can’t open a cereal box without looking for the prizefighter.
My friend got disqualified from his boxing match for wearing the wrong shoes. Turns out, open-toe sandals are frowned upon in the ring.
A boxer walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I think I have a detached retina.” The doctor says, “Have a seat. Have you ever seen a detached retina before?” The boxer replies, “No, but I’ve had a few split decisions.”
Did you hear about the boxing psychic who got arrested? He saw the police coming to bust him for fight fixing.
My friend tried to make his living selling boxing rings. He went bankrupt quickly though, turned out there was no market for it.
I’m allergic to boxing. Every time I watch it, my eyes get swollen.
What’s a boxer’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat.
Why did the comedian refuse to fight the boxer? He knew he couldn’t handle the punch lines.
I tried to explain to my friend how boxing scoring worked. He was still confused, said it sounded like a knockout system.
The other day I met a boxer who was also a sculptor. He said he loved the art of hitting things.

QnA Jokes & Puns about Boxing: Knockouts Guaranteed!

Q: What did the boxer say to the bag of ice? A: “I’m here to kick your ass-phalt!”
Q: What’s a boxer’s favorite drink? A: Punch!
Q: What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A: A maybe-umble bee… or a boxer having a really bad night.
Q: Why did the boxer get lost on his way to the championship? A: He took too many wrong “routs”.
Q: Did you hear about the boxer who was also a sculptor? A: He was known for his “knockout” pieces.
Q: How can you tell a boxer is about to retire? A: He starts throwing in the towel… before it gets washed.
Q: What runs around a boxing ring but never moves? A: The crowd’s collective breath when there’s a knockout punch!
Q: What do you call a boxing match between two kangaroos? A: A real “kickboxing” match!
Q: Why did the boxer refuse to fight the comedian? A: He didn’t want to get “roast”-ed!
Q: Why did the boxer bring a dictionary to his fight? A: He wanted to check his opponent’s “definition” of a champion.
Q: You know you’re at a bad boxing match when…? A: The only thing getting punched is your ticket!
Q: What did the announcer say to the shy boxer before the fight? A: “Don’t be afraid to come out swinging… or at least wave hello!”
Q: What happens when you combine a boxer and a chef? A: You get a “jab-and-grill” expert!
Q: What kind of tree do boxers plant? A: A punch-tree!

Dad Jokes about Boxing: They Pack a Punch

Why did the boxer get disqualified? He was hitting below the belt! And tickling his opponent wasn’t allowed either.
What did the announcer say when the boxer got to the ring? “Let’s get ready to rumble… in the cardboard box factory!”
You know, I used to be a boxer, but I had to quit. I took one too many to the head… now I can’t remember if it was the mailbox or the fridge.
My son told me he wants to be a boxer when he grows up. I told him, “I’ll support you, just promise you won’t fight back!” (Ba dum tss!)
I asked a boxer about his workout routine. He said, “First I jump rope, then I hit the speed bag, then I run 5 miles…” I told him, “Wow, that’s impressive!” He said, “Yeah, it gets harder to escape as the months go by.”
A boxer walks into a pizza place and says, “I’ll have a pizza, and make it a knockout!” The waiter replies, “Sorry, sir, we only do deliveries.”
You know why boxers never get lost? They follow the signs… usually to the nose!
My wife got mad at me for ordering a pay-per-view boxing match. I told her, “But honey, it’s the fight of the century!” She said, “Yeah, well it’s going to cost us a century’s worth of savings!”
What music do boxers listen to before a fight? Anything they want! They have the punch-list!
I went to a boxing match and a guy threw a tomato at the loser. Turns out it was the heavyweight champion of the tomato throwing competition!
I just saw a boxer jump into a pool. He made a big splash… almost as big as the splash he’ll make in his next fight!
Why are boxers so good at math? Because they’re always counting their punches!
Why shouldn’t you lend money to a boxer? They always have a loan coming!
Why was the boxer always getting lost? He had a bad sense of ring-rection!
I saw a sign outside a boxing gym that said, “Come on in, we’ll help you unleash your inner fighter!” I walked in and said, “Great! Can someone take a look at this splinter?”

Funny Quotes and Captions about Boxing: Punches of Laughter

“I tried explaining to my cat that boxing is a sport, not a personal invitation. He’s not convinced.”
“Just took up boxing. Turns out cardio doesn’t have to be boring, just terrifying.”
“My therapist told me to use boxing as an outlet for my anger. Now everyone at the gym is terrified, including me.”
“I like my problems like I like my opponents: knocked out cold.”
“Boxing: where anger management meets cardiovascular exercise.”
“You know you’ve been boxing too long when you start dodging flies in slow motion.”
“My love life is like a boxing match… I’m constantly getting punched in the face.”
“I’m not saying I’m great at boxing, but my shadow is currently undefeated.”
“Boxing is all about strategy and precision… and occasionally getting punched in the face really hard.”
“Just found out punching my problems doesn’t actually solve them. Back to the drawing board, I mean boxing ring.”
“Me? Aggressive? I just really, really enjoy hitting things in a socially acceptable manner.”
“My workout routine? I do this thing called “pretending I can box.” It’s very effective… at making me look ridiculous.”
“Boxing gloves: proof that humans can be civilized and barbaric at the same time.”
“Don’t underestimate someone who packs a lunch AND a punch. This ain’t amateur hour.”
“Boxing: It’s cheaper than therapy and you get a free sweat out of it.”
“They say boxing is like a chess match. Unfortunately, I never learned to play chess… and also keep forgetting which way the queen moves.”

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Boxing: Guaranteed to Knock You Out

A punch in time saves nine…stitches. (A twist on “A stitch in time saves nine.”)
Don’t judge a boxer by his gloves, but by the size of the other guy’s black eye.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese…and avoids the left hook.
You can lead a boxer to water, but you can’t make him take a dive.
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, but don’t forget to pack an ice pack or three.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I must be a boxing referee.
In the ring of life, it’s not about how hard you can hit, but how many times you can get up and yell, “Is that all you got?”
It’s always darkest before the knockout. (A twist on “It’s always darkest before the dawn.”)
Keep your friends close, and your boxing gloves closer… you never know when a friendly sparring match might break out.
Life is like a boxing match, except the opponent gets to hit you below the belt, and there’s no referee to disqualify them.
Many are called, few are chosen, and even fewer volunteer to step into the boxing ring with Mike Tyson.
The pen is mightier than the sword, but only if the sword is being held by someone who’s never worn boxing gloves.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two lefts to the jaw might make an opponent see stars.
You can’t win ’em all, especially if “em” is a professional boxer in their prime.
You miss 100% of the punches you don’t throw… and probably a good 50% of the ones you do, but hey, that’s boxing for you.
Youth is wasted on the young, especially when those young people choose a career in boxing.

Boxing Double Entendres Puns: Jabbing With Wordplay

I tried to explain to my friend that boxing is a thinking man’s sport. He just wouldn’t listen, kept saying, “Hit him again!” Guess I should’ve known, you can’t have a meeting of the minds when there’s only one mind present.
Why did the boxer break up with the musician? They couldn’t find harmony in their relationship – she kept saying he was always hitting the wrong notes.
My friend quit his job as a boxing coach to become a writer. Said he was tired of getting hit with plot holes.
A boxer walks out of a library carrying a stack of books on philosophy and poetry. His trainer yells, “Hey, what are you doing with all that? You need to be training, not getting punch-drunk on words!”
The boxer was arrested for stealing stationery. Turns out, he had a real punchline addiction.
I went to a boxing match and a chess tournament broke out. I guess you could say it was a real battle of wits… and jabs.
Heard a rumour that Mike Tyson is opening a bakery in town. They say he makes a mean left hookie cookie.
Never underestimate a boxer who’s also a lawyer. They can argue in the ring and throw the book at you outside of it.
Why was the retired boxer so good at gift wrapping? Years of practice making sure his opponents were left punchless and bow-tied.
The boxer went on a game show about packing luggage. Turns out, he was a master at fitting it all in, especially when it came to his opponents’ faces.
My friend said he wanted to be a boxer, but he’s too “soft.” So I told him, “Don’t worry, there’s always pillow fighting.”
My dog loves watching boxing matches. Every time there’s a knockout, he jumps up and barks excitedly, “Another one bites the dust!”
Why did the boxer bring a ladder to the championship fight? He heard his opponent was a knockout!
They say boxers need to be quick on their feet. But what about their hands? After all, time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana… and punches fly like… well, punches.
They call me the “Grammar” Boxer. Because I’m all about proper punctuation and knocking out comma splices.
Boxing referees – they’re the only people in the world who get paid to break up fights… literally.
A boxer walks into a restaurant the week before his big fight and orders a massive steak, five sides of mashed potatoes, and a giant milkshake. The waiter says, “Wow, champ, building up your energy?” The boxer replies, “Nah, just getting in one last good meal before I start eating punches for a living.”

Funny Boxing Tom Swifties: Punches of Wit

“I think I broke my hand,” Tom said boxed in.
“I can’t believe I lost to a left hook again,” Tom said roundly.
“Get ready for a knockout punch!” Tom said fightistically.
“This boxing ring feels awfully small,” Tom said confinedly.
“Help me up, I can’t see straight,” Tom said dizzily.
“My opponent keeps dodging my jabs!” Tom declared jablessly.
“I’m going to win this fight with a single punch,” Tom said knockoutly.
“I’m switching to kickboxing,” Tom said whimsically.
“Time to face my opponent head-on,” Tom said squarely.
“My gloves feel a bit tight,” Tom said constrictedly.
“I trained for this fight in a telephone booth,” Tom said boxed in.
“Let’s just say, my opponent won’t be walking out of the ring,” Tom boasted victoriously.
“I prefer a softer opponent,” Tom said punchily.
“My strategy is all about agility and quick movements,” Tom explained swiftly.
“Is that the bell for Round 12 already?” Tom asked timelessly.
“Let’s get ready to rumble!” Tom shouted rousingly.
“That last punch really did me in,” Tom said defeatedly.

Knock-knock Jokes about Boxing: They Pack a Punch!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like a knuckle sandwich?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boxer. Boxer who? Boxer shorts ready, let’s spar!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Punch. Punch who? Punch time! Are you ready to rumble?!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Canvas. Canvas who? Canvas help it, I love boxing!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Upper. Upper who? Upper-cut! Just kidding, how are you?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hay. Hay who? Haymaker! Did that get your attention?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gloves. Gloves who? Gloves are off, let’s settle this debate!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Round. Round who? Round and round we go, someone’s getting knocked down!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spar. Spar who? Spar time! Get ready to sweat!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ring. Ring who? Ring the bell, this fight’s getting good!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Count. Count who? Count to ten, then come out swinging!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Heavyweight. Heavyweight who? Heavyweight you been all my life? Let’s box!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Title. Title who? Title tell – are you a boxing fan, too?