125+ Bull Jokes & Puns: You’ll Be Seeing Red (With Laughter)
Get ready to laugh your horns off because we’re about to dive into the best bull jokes and puns this side of the pasture! This list of clever and funny wordplay is sure to put a smile on your face, even if you’re feeling a bit bull-ish. Did you know a bull can run up to 35 miles per hour? That’s faster than you can say “Holy cow, these jokes are udderly hilarious!” So, hold onto your hats and get ready for some positivi-moo-d boosters – it’s about to get punny!
Top Bull Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: For a moo-tivating chuckle.
- What’s a bull’s favorite breakfast cereal? Cheerios!
- Always be kind to bulls… they have a lot at steak.
- That matador is really pushing the bull-tons.
- The bull in the china shop got fired. They said he was being too bull-dozerish.
- I tried to tell a bull pun… it went right over everyone’s head.
- What’s a bull’s favorite type of music? Anything but cow-bell.
- The bull walked into a bar and said, “I’ll have a whiskey… and make it a double! I’m seeing two bartenders.”
- Never go into business with a bull. They’re always bull-ish on the market.
- What do you get if you cross a bull and a volcano? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t recommend it!
- That bullfighter really knows how to steer the conversation.
- The matador was feeling under the weather, so they called in the substitute bullfighter… he was known as the red flag day laborer.
- That bull in the yoga class is surprisingly zen.
- Heard about the bull who escaped from the rodeo? He’s on the moo-ve!
- What do you call a bull that’s really good at poker? A bluffer!
- The bull got a job at the library. He’s really good at book-horning.
- That bull really knows how to milk a situation.
Funny Bull One-Liner Jokes To Make You Laugh
- That matador’s career was going nowhere…then he decided to take the bull by the horns.
- Never try to explain the concept of irony to a bull…it’s just beyond the pale.
- My friend claims he can speak Spanish to his pet bull…I said, “Don’t try to bullfight me!”
- What do you call an angry cow? Beef-ore it becomes a problem.
- That bull really had a chip on his shoulder…probably because his dating life was in a slump.
- What’s a bull’s favorite music genre? Anything but cow-punk!
- I once knew a bull who was a lawyer…he specialized in bull-oney cases.
- My neighbor’s bull keeps escaping…I told him to really “steer” clear of trouble.
- Someone told me I should invest in a bull stud farm…seemed like a load of bull to me.
- I tried to order a steak at the vegetarian restaurant, but the waiter just gave me the bull’s-eye.
- I accidentally wore my red shirt to the bullfight…talk about feeling out of place!
- That bullfighter was a real showman…he even bowed before the “steer-oids” kicked in.
- The bull in the china shop had expensive taste…he only went for the Waterford crystal.
- A bull walks into a bar and says, “Hey, I’ll take a martini…hold the bull!”
- Did you hear about the bull who escaped from the rodeo? He was last seen heading for the “moo-vies.”
- The bull was feeling under the weather…the farmer diagnosed him with “hay fever.”
QnA Jokes & Puns about Bull: Udderly Hilarious!
- Q: What do you call a bull that’s really good at his job? A: An udder success!
- Q: Why don’t bulls use computers? A: They hate mouse clicks!
- Q: Why did the bull become a comedian? A: He was always seeing the horns of a good time!
- Q: What’s a bull’s favorite book? A: “The Charge of the Light Brigade”!
- Q: What do you get when you cross a bull and a volcano? A: I don’t know, but I wouldn’t try to moo-ve it!
- Q: What do you call a bull that’s lost its memory? A: De-calf-inated!
- Q: Why did the bull get a job at the china shop? A: He was always told he had great ‘break’ potential!
- Q: What do you call a bull that loves to bowl? A: A strike zone enthusiast!
- Q: How does a bull get to the hospital? A: By bull-ance, of course!
- Q: What’s the difference between a bull and a bad golfer? A: One charges at everything and the other takes lots of strokes!
- Q: What do you call a bull that’s also a lawyer? A: A bull-evangelist!
- Q: Why did the bull cross the road? A: To prove he wasn’t chicken!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a bull with a bee? A: A bee that charges a pollen dollar for every flower it lands on!
- Q: What’s a bull’s favorite type of music? A: Anything but cow-bell!
- Q: Where do bulls post online reviews? A: Yelp, where else? They love a good steak-house!
- Q: What goes “Moo-ha-ha!”? A: A bull dressed as a pirate!
- Q: What’s a bull’s favorite drink? A: Anything but de-calf-einated!
Dad Jokes about Bull: You’ve Herd Them All
- Why don’t bulls use computers? They get mad at the mouse.
- What’s a bull’s favorite breakfast cereal? Cheeri-oats!
- You know, I met this bull who could predict the future. Turns out he was just a fortune teller-bull.
- What do you call a bull that loves to sleep? A bull-dozer.
- Where do bulls get their college degrees? The moo-niversity, of course!
- Why did the bull get fired from his job? He kept having bull-ish market ideas.
- What do you call a bull that’s really good at basketball? Michael Jor-bull!
- I tried to explain to my son that bulls are colorblind… He just stared at me with a blank stare. I guess it was a load of bull.
- Where do sick bulls go? To the bull-penicillin clinic.
- Why did the bull cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- What do you call a group of singing bulls? A cattle-ochor!
- What’s a bull’s favorite flower? A bull-etin board! (Get it? Bulletin? I crack myself up.)
- Why was the bull always invited to parties? He was a really good moo-ver and shaker!
- My wife told me to take the bull by the horns… So I took him to a matador show.
- Hey son, I just saw a bull walk on two legs! I know, that’s what I told you about yesterday – the Minnesota Bull-etin!
Funny Quotes and Captions about Bull: Guaranteed to Make You Laugh
- Just saw a bull wearing a toupee. What a load of bull.
- Life is like bull riding. You either grab it by the horns, or you end up covered in…well, you know.
- My therapist told me to confront my biggest fear. I looked him dead in the eye and said, “You’re talking a load of bull.”
- Never trust a bull in a china shop. They charge exorbitant prices for repairs.
- I told my friend I was reading a book about anti-gravity. He said, “That’s bull, it’ll never fly.”
- Heard there’s a new dating app for farmers. It’s called “Tinder Bull.”
- My workout routine is like a bull in a china shop—short, chaotic, and leaves a trail of destruction.
- Always remember: You can’t bullshit a bullshitter. They can smell their own.
- What do you call a bull that works at a red light district? A red light district-bull.
- What do you call a bull that’s really good at his job? Out-standing in his field.
- Just met a really aggressive magician. Apparently, he pulls no punches…just bulls.
- I tried writing a children’s book about a bullfighter. It got gored down by the publisher.
- How do you make a bull float? With root beer and ice cream. Duh!
- My friend said I should invest in his energy drink for bulls. I told him it sounds like a lot of bull.
- Tried to strike up a conversation with a bull the other day. He seemed unimpressed. Guess it was a moot point.
- What’s a bull’s favorite type of music? Anything but cowbell.
Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Bull: A Hilarious Herd of Wisdom
- A bull in a china shop breaks less than a bull in a love triangle. (Relationship advice, bovine style)
- Don’t have a cow, man, it’s probably just a bull in disguise. (Stay calm, things aren’t always what they seem)
- You can lead a bull to water, but you can’t make it use a bidet. (Some habits are just ingrained)
- Early to bed and early to rise, makes a bull less likely to surprise. (Routine is key, especially for large, unpredictable animals)
- The bull that hesitates is probably wearing a cowbell. (Indecision is announced in the most embarrassing ways)
- A stitch in time saves nine, but a fence in time saves the entire china shop from the bull. (Prevention is better than cure… especially with bulls involved)
- Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two bulls in a ring make a rodeo. (Sometimes, chaos is the only answer)
- Don’t cry over spilled milk, especially if a bull did the spilling. (Choose your battles wisely)
- Where there’s smoke there’s fire, unless it’s a bull wearing a smoke machine costume. (Don’t be fooled by appearances, even if they’re hilarious)
- A watched pot never boils, but a watched bull might charge at the fence. (Don’t tempt fate, especially if “fate” has horns)
- You can’t judge a bull by its horns, sometimes they’re just for show. (Appearances can be deceiving, even in the animal kingdom)
- Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was a bull-proof fence. But both are worth the effort. (Great things take time and sturdy construction)
- A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless you’re facing a charging bull. Then, drop everything and run. (Always prioritize survival)
- The early bird gets the worm, but the bull usually gets the blame, even if it was the worm’s fault. (Life’s not always fair, especially for bulls)
- A penny saved is a penny earned, unless you’re saving up to buy a bull. Then it’s gonna take a lot more pennies. (Financial advice, with a dash of realism)
- If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. But if you’re trying to ride a bull, maybe just try something else. (Know when to quit, for the sake of your bones)
Bull Double Entendres Puns: A Funny Herd You Shouldn’t Miss
- That matador is really bringing the bull to the market. (Bringing a bullfight to the public or flooding the market with something.)
- My therapist told me to take my problems by the horns… so I got a bull. (Facing your problems head-on or taking the therapist’s advice very literally.)
- You think dating is tough? Try bull riding blindfolded. (Dating is difficult or comparing dating to a dangerous, impossible task.)
- This steak is terrible! I’ve had bull testicles tougher than this. (Bad steak or implying they’ve eaten bull testicles before.)
- She said she wanted a man who could handle her, little did she know, I was a professional bull rider. (A confident man or a very literal interpretation of “handling”.)
- The stock market is like a raging bull… unpredictable, volatile, and prone to charging into a china shop. (The unpredictable nature of the stock market or comparing it to a bull causing chaos.)
- Don’t have a cow, man, it’s just a little bull! (Calm down, it’s no big deal or making light of a literal bull’s size.)
- He tried to convince me he was a vegan, then I saw the bull tattoo on his arm. Talk about a mis-steak! (A pun on “mistake” and “steak” while implying hypocrisy about veganism.)
- I told my wife I wanted to name our firstborn “Red Bull,” she said it was energy drink-spiring. (A play on “inspiring” and the energy drink “Red Bull.”)
- That bull in the china shop? Yeah, that’s my spirit animal. (Someone clumsy or chaotic or connecting with the bull’s destructive tendency.)
- I went to a bullfight last night, it was amazing! The crowd was on the edge of their seats… until someone opened the gate. (Building suspense or a literal interpretation of what happens at a bullfight.)
- I tried to strike up a conversation with the bullfighter, but he kept giving me the horns. (Being ignored or referencing the bull’s horns.)
- My love life is like bull riding. I’m constantly getting thrown off. (Relationship troubles or comparing love to the challenge of bull riding.)
- They say “love is blind,” but have you ever seen a bull during mating season? Talk about tunnel vision! (Blind love or the singular focus of a bull during mating season.)
- He tried to tell me his watch was a genuine “Rolex,” but I could tell it was a bull… story. (Calling out a lie or referencing a bull’s reputation for embellishment.)
- I asked the farmer how he got his cows pregnant. He just pointed to a very smug-looking bull and said, “He’s got the magic touch.” (Successful breeding or implying the bull has special abilities.)
- Never underestimate the power of a good steak… especially if it comes with a side of bull. (Enjoying a good steak or hinting at potentially eating bull testicles again.)
Funny Bull Tom Swifties: Jokes With Steer Humor
- “That bull sure charges quickly,” Tom said rapidly.
- “The bull really trampled my prize-winning roses,” Tom said deflatedly.
- “I think this bull wants to fight,” Tom said pointedly (as the bull pointed its horns at him).
- “Those bulls are really strong!” Tom exclaimed powerfully.
- “That matador is waving a red flag at the bull,” Tom observed dangerously.
- “I wonder what a bull uses Twitter for,” Tom said tweetly.
- “The bull knocked me right over that fence!” Tom said overly.
- “A bull in a china shop? That’s preposterous!” Tom said bullishly.
- “This bull ring looks smaller than I remember,” Tom said arena-ly.
- “I think the bull wants its space,” Tom said cow-tiously.
- “That angry bull really did a number on my car!” Tom said dentedly.
- “Look at that bull gracefully leaping over the moon!” Tom said bull-ievable-ly.
- “Why are you charging so much for a ride on a mechanical bull?” Tom said price-ily.
- “That bull certainly does love his food,” Tom said chow-down-ishly.
- “This bull’s horns are awfully pointy,” Tom said sharp-wittedly.
- “The bull escaped its pen, but don’t worry, I have a plan,” Tom said strategically.
- “The bull just winked at me!” Tom said bull-wink-ingly.
Knock-knock Jokes about Bull: You’ll Be Cow-ling Over These
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bull. Bull Who? Bull-ieve in yourself, you got this!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bull. Bull Who? Bull-dozer you want to go for pizza later?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bull. Bull Who? Quit bull-ying around and open up!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bull. Bull Who? Bull-seye! I knew you were home!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bull. Bull Who? That’s a bull-oney question, you know it’s me!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bull. Bull Who? Don’t be a bull-headed, let me in!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bull. Bull Who? That’s one bull-iant costume you’re wearing!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bull. Bull Who? I bull-doze you think this is funny!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bull. Bull Who? Let’s go to the store and get some Red Bull, you’re looking tired!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bull. Bull Who? That was bull-headed of me to assume you’d find that funny.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bull. Bull Who? Enough with the bull-fighting, let’s be friends!