110+ Cabbage Jokes & Puns: Leaf You In Stitches!

Get ready to laugh your head off because you’ve stumbled upon the best list of cabbage jokes this side of the salad bar! We’ve got puns so clever they’ll make you sprout with joy, and humor so funny it’ll leave you feeling positively giddy. Did you know that a single head of cabbage can be used to make over 10 gallons of sauerkraut? That’s a whole lot of fermented fun! So, grab a bib (things are about to get juicy) and get ready for some truly corny cabbage jokes!

Top Cabbage Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Freshly Harvested

Just saw a cabbage running a marathon. Must be a head start.
What’s a cabbage’s worst enemy? A headhunter.
Why did the cabbage win an award? For being outstanding in its field.
Never make a salad with angry cabbage. It’s all chopped liver.
What’s a cabbage’s favorite genre? Heavy metal.
Beware the cabbage patch. It’s crawling with undercover salad.
A cabbage’s love life? Always in-leaf.
What’s a cabbage’s biggest fear? Getting picked on.
Cabbage walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food.”
My therapist told me to picture my problems as a head of cabbage. Now I have a splitting headache.
Did you hear about the cabbage that went to the bank? It wanted to check its kale-ance.
Always trust a cabbage with a secret. They are incredibly tight-lipped.
What’s a cabbage’s favorite music? Anything with a good beet.
Broke up with my girlfriend. Turns out, she was only in it for the cabb-age.

Funny Cabbage Jokes With One Liner Clever Cabbage Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny Cabbage One-Liner Jokes To Make You Chuckle

I met a guy who sells musical instruments made entirely of vegetables – he’s got a pretty good brass-ica band.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still considered a cabbage patch?
My friend tried to make coleslaw in the washing machine – he said it was a spin on a classic.
Did you hear about the cabbage that went to the gym? It was absolutely ripped.
You know, my therapist told me to picture my worries on a head of lettuce to help me relax – but it just keeps giving me kale-idoscopic nightmares.
I saw a sign that said “Cabbage for Sale by Owner.” I wonder if they accept kale-ateral?
Apparently, they don’t allow cabbage in gambling – something about it being too easy to get “a head” of yourself.
I used to date a head of cabbage… but she kept saying I was “being too clingy.”
I’m on a seafood diet – I see food, and I eat it. Especially if that food is clam chowder with extra cabbage.
What do you call a cabbage with a college degree? Head Researcher.
What’s a cabbage’s least favorite day of the year? Fry-day.
Why don’t cabbages like playing cards? Because they always get chopped!
What’s green, leafy, and always knows the answer? An en-cyclopedia of cabbage!
My friend said he wanted to be reincarnated as a head of cabbage… I told him that was such a common aspiration.
I walked into a restaurant and asked for a table for one. The host said, “Sure, we’ve got a head of lettuce over in the corner.”

QnA Jokes & Puns about Cabbage: Leafing You in Stitches

Q: What do you get when you cross a cabbage and a sheep? A: A woolly mammoth head of lettuce!
Q: Why did the cabbage win an award? A: For being an outstanding member of its field!
Q: What did the cabbage say to the doctor? A: “I think I’m coming down with a head cold!”
Q: What’s a cabbage’s favorite genre of music? A: Heavy metal! (Because it’s headbanging in the garden)
Q: Why did the cabbage break up with the lettuce? A: Because he was feeling a little romaine-tic!
Q: What do you call a cabbage that’s been through a lot? A: A headstrong survivor!
Q: How do cabbages greet each other? A: “Hey there, head-bud!”
Q: Why don’t cabbages ever get lost? A: They always keep their heads about them!
Q: What does a cabbage wear to a party? A: A ruffled tuxedo! (referring to the texture of a Savoy cabbage)
Q: What sound does a cabbage make when it falls down the stairs? A: Kohl-lapse!
Q: Why did the cabbage blush? A: It saw the salad dressing!
Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite type of cabbage? A: Spook-routs! (play on Brussel sprouts)
Q: What did the cabbage say to the knife? A: “Lettuce be friends!”
Q: How does a cabbage become a millionaire? A: Inheritance. It’s always head of the family.
Q: Did you hear about the cabbage that joined the orchestra? A: It played the tuba. It was a natural! (referencing the size and shape of both)
Q: Why are cabbages so wise? A: They have layers! (referring to both the physical layers and depth of wisdom)

Dad Jokes about Cabbage: They’re Headliners!

Why did the cabbage win an award? Because it was outstanding in its field!
I tried to make coleslaw, but I think I used the wrong cabbage. Instead of shredded, it came out shredded wheat!
What’s a cabbage’s favorite type of music? Heavy metal!
What did the cabbage say to the goat? “Lettuce be friends!”
What’s a cabbage’s least favorite genre of music? Anything by the Red Hot Chili Peppers…because they’re too spicy!
My son said he wants to be a cabbage farmer when he grows up. I said, “Hey, whatever lettuce your dreams come true!”
Why did the cabbage blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
You know, I used to hate cabbage, but then I went through a phase… It was about thyme!
Why are cabbages so easy to trick? Because they fall for anything!
How can you tell if a cabbage is lying? Its head starts to sprout!
Why don’t cabbages ever win arguments? They’re always getting walked all over!
My therapist told me to picture my worries floating away like leaves on a stream. Guess I’ll just visualize a head of cabbage then!
Why did the cabbage get lost in the forest? Because all the trees looked kale-like!
I saw a sign that said “Cabbage for Sale, Make an Offer.” So I yelled back, “Hey, Lettuce discuss!”
What’s a cabbage’s favorite dance move? The Cabbage Patch, of course!
Why was the cabbage always picked last for dodgeball? It had a tendency to wilt under pressure!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Cabbage: Get Your Greens with a Giggle

“Just saw a guy walk out of the grocery store with a head of cabbage under each arm. Guess you could say he’s… two-timing some coleslaw.”
“My therapist told me to hold onto my anger for five minutes before letting it go. I’m starting to think she meant a head of cabbage. This therapy’s weird.”
“Life is like a cabbage, you gotta peel back the tough layers to get to the good stuff. And sometimes, you find a worm.”
“What do you call a cabbage with a college degree? Head of the class-ic salad.”
“I used to work at a cabbage factory. It was great at first, but then I got fired. Turns out, I was head-hunting.”
“My friend told me he’s starting a cabbage-based diet. He lost five pounds already! Turns out it was just his wallet.”
“Never judge a cabbage by its outer leaves. Unless, of course, you’re judging a cabbage beauty pageant. Then it’s totally fair game.”
“You know you’re old when your idea of a wild Friday night is staying in and making sauerkraut.”
“Met a guy at the farmer’s market who looked exactly like me. Turns out we were both adopted. We’re like the two cabbages they forgot in the crisper drawer.”
“My love for you is like a head of cabbage; hard to explain, weird to hold, but undeniably present on the kitchen counter.”
“What’s a cabbage’s favorite music? Anything but heavy metal, they’re very folky.”
“My resolution this year was to eat healthier. Guess I’m having corned beef and… well, just corned beef, then.”
“Don’t tell anyone, but I’m starting a cabbage-themed escape room. It’s gonna be called “Escape from Headspace”.
“Just saw a sign that said ‘Free Puppies and Cabbage’. Seems like a weird combo, but I’m not here to judge someone’s puppy-purchasing strategies.”
“I’m so broke, my last meal was a cabbage roll. And by roll, I mean I literally rolled a cabbage down a hill.”
“Went to a cabbage-throwing competition last night. It was a toss-up who won.”
“You know, some people are like cabbage. They just keep getting more and more interesting the longer you know them. Or maybe that’s wine. Either way, cheers!”

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Cabbage: Wittier Than Sauerkraut

A watched cabbage never boils, but an unwatched cabbage might be eaten by a rabbit.
Don’t count your cabbages before they sprout. Actually, do count them – helps keep the rabbits away.
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a person healthy, wealthy, and likely to step on a rogue cabbage in the garden.
Give a man a cabbage, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to cabbage, and you’ll never get rid of him at the farmers market. (Play on “Teach a man to fish…”)
Too many cooks spoil the broth, but two heads are better than one when harvesting a giant cabbage.
You can’t make cabbage salad without chopping heads… of cabbage, that is!
One man’s trash is another man’s surprisingly versatile coleslaw. (Play on “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”)
A penny saved is a cabbage earned… wait, that’s not right, but it sounds like something your grandma would say.
Love is like a head of cabbage: You have to peel away the outer layers to get to the heart.
If life gives you cabbages, make kimchi. Or sauerkraut. Or just a really big salad.
Never judge a cabbage by its leaves. It’s what’s inside that counts. Unless it’s a really ugly cabbage, then judge away.
Patience is a virtue, especially when waiting for a cabbage to grow. But seriously, just buy one at the store, it’s faster.
Don’t cry over spilled milk. Unless you tripped on a rogue cabbage and spilled it, then feel free to cry a little.
Good things come to those who wait. Like the realization that maybe you shouldn’t have planted so many cabbages.
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, especially if they’re growing prize-winning cabbages.
All good things must come to an end, like a delicious meal of cabbage rolls. But hey, there’s always tomorrow!

Cabbage Double Entendres Puns: Jokes To Make You Romaine Calm

“I tried to make a salad with the neighbor’s prize-winning cabbage. Let’s just say, things got a little heady.” (Heady = intense/intoxicating, but also refers to the head of a cabbage)
“This new dating app is like trying to pick a good cabbage – you have to wade through a lot of outer layers to find the heart.” (Heart = center of cabbage, but also emotional core)
“Don’t get yourself in a stew about the missing cabbage, I’m sure it’ll turnip.” (Turnip = a similar vegetable, but also plays on “turn up”)
“My therapist told me to picture my anxieties as cabbages, then throw them away. Now I have a garden full of worries and a fear of composting.” (Throwing away anxieties = humorous image, garden = literal result)
“The farmer claimed his cabbage was the biggest in the county, but everyone knew he was known to exaggerate his vegetables.” (Exaggerate vegetables = making them sound grander, but also a play on literal size)
“I’m starting a punk rock band called ‘The Cabbages.’ Our first album? ‘Headbangers’ Ball.'” (Headbangers = fans of heavy metal, also refers to the head of the cabbage)
“Dating a chef has its perks. Last week, he made me a cabbage so romantic, I almost chocked up.” (Choked up = emotional, but also a choking hazard if eating too quickly)
“He tried to hide the lottery ticket money in the cabbage patch. Talk about easy greens!” (Easy greens = easy money, but also refers to the green color of cabbage)
“My attempt at making coleslaw was a total flop. Guess you could say I really shredded my confidence on that one.” (Shredded confidence = destroyed self-esteem, but also the process of preparing cabbage for coleslaw)
“My new business venture? Selling pre-shredded tears of sadness disguised as coleslaw. It’s a niche market, but business is really starting to pick up.” (Pick up = improving, but also references the act of picking up shredded cabbage)
“He’s such a drama queen! You’d think forgetting the cabbage at the store was the end of the wurld.” (Wurld = deliberate misspelling of “world,” but sounds like “whirl,” referencing a type of cabbage)
“The fortune teller peered into her crystal ball and said, ‘I see a future filled with prosperity… and maybe a touch of cabbage indigestion.'” (Cabbage indigestion = a humorous outcome, juxtaposing wealth with a common digestive issue)
“I went to the doctor complaining of feeling sluggish. His diagnosis? ‘You’ve got yourself a bad case of the cabbages.'” (The cabbages = a made-up ailment, playing on feeling slow and possibly bloated like a cabbage)
“She claimed her heart was closed off to love, but after he made her his grandma’s famous stuffed cabbage recipe, he found a way to leaf his way in.” (Leaf his way in = make progress romantically, using “leaf” in a metaphorical way related to cabbage)

Funny Cabbage Tom Swifties: A Head of Their Time

“This coleslaw needs more mayonnaise,” Tom said dressingly.
“This soup is missing something,” Tom said kale-lessly.
“I used to be a cabbage farmer,” Tom said stalk-ingly.
“These cabbage rolls are delicious!” Tom exclaimed rapturously.
“I think I added too much fertilizer,” Tom said organically.
“This kimchi is fermenting nicely,” Tom remarked culturedly.
“These cabbages are awfully small this year,” Tom said minutely.
“I’m going to make a delicious salad with this,” Tom said headily.
“I love the sound of chopping cabbage,” Tom said crisply.
“Don’t forget to core the cabbage!” Tom said pithily.
“I think I left the cabbage on the stove,” Tom said absentmindedly.
“This cabbage patch is looking a little bare,” Tom said sparsely.
“Watch out for caterpillars!” Tom warned leafily.
“This sauerkraut is nice and sour,” Tom said tartly.
“I love the crunch of a fresh cabbage,” Tom said bitefully.
“These cabbages are huge!” Tom said collaterally.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Cabbage: Leaf You in Stitches

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cab. Cab who? Cab-age you tell I’m a little head of myself?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cabbage. Cabbage who? Cabbage pardon, but I couldn’t hear you over the sound of my own deliciousness!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cole. Cole who? Cole-slaw you later, gotta run!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cab. Cab who? Cab we talk about how much we love cabbage?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. Leaf who? Leaf me alone, I’m having a salad moment!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wrap. Wrap who? Wrap it up, I’ll take the cabbage rolls!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Head. Head who? Head you say you weren’t a fan of cabbage?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Patch. Patch who? ‘Patch’ yourself on the back if you like coleslaw!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green you ever seen a vegetable as versatile as cabbage?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Roll. Roll who? Roll up, roll up, get your delicious cabbage here!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Diet. Diet who? Diet start tomorrow, pass the cabbage rolls!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bun. Bun who? Bun appétit, especially if it’s cabbage soup!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kimchi. Kimchi who? Kimchi want to talk about how amazing fermented cabbage is!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Soup. Soup who? Soup-erb! I love a good cabbage soup!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stuffed. Stuffed who? Stuffed cabbage, my favorite!