120+ Car Jokes & Puns: You’ll Get Revved Up Over!

Buckle up, humor enthusiasts! Get ready to cruise down Laughter Lane with our ultimate list of car jokes and puns. We’ve got the best collection of clever quips and funny anecdotes that are sure to drive you wild with laughter. Did you know the first car was invented with just three wheels? We’ve got four wheels full of humor coming right up! So, whether you’re a car aficionado or just appreciate a good chuckle, prepare for some positive vibes and get ready to shift your funny bone into overdrive!

Top Car Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: For Your Daily Drive of Laughter

1. My friend’s career hit a roadblock. Turns out, he was a car thief.
2. What do you get if you cross a car and a computer? A Windows mobile.
3. Why was the car always smiling? It had good lumbar support.
4. I tried to come up with a car pun, but I ran out of gas.
5. My mechanic told me I need a new engine. He’s such a smooth operator.
6. The cars were arguing in the parking lot. It was a heated debate.
7. Why didn’t the car win the race? It took a brake.
8. What kind of car does an egg drive? A yolkswagen.
9. What’s a car’s favorite dessert? Car-amel cake.
10. I’m friends with all the cars in my neighborhood. We hang out in the carpool.
11. Why did the car get bad grades? It kept hitting the gas.
12. The car felt a bit under the weather. It needed a new air filter.
13. Driving a convertible is a truly exhilerating experience. Until it rains.
14. I saw a car with no wheels. I thought to myself, “That’s wheelie bad.”
15. Why are cars so bad at poker? They always fold when they’re bluffing.
16. Life is like a car. You can steer, park, and get towed in any direction.
17. I’m starting a band called “99 Cars on a Wall.” Our first hit single? “One Fell Off.”

Funny Car One-Liner Jokes: Buckle Up for Laughter

1. My car’s vocabulary is limited; all it ever says is “charge” or “low battery.”
2. I saw a car with a bumper sticker that said “Honk if you love peace and quiet” – I knew it was aspirational.
3. I tried to explain to my car why it couldn’t be a race car… it took the conversation hard.
4. Dating a mechanic is great; they always whisper “Car-ingly yours” in my ear.
5. My car’s so old; it remembers when “Car Talk” credits used to roll up on an actual screen.
6. Writing car valentines is tough, there’s so much pressure to be wheely romantic.
7. I wanted to name my car “Crash” but figured that would be tempting fate.
8. The only thing worse than being in a car accident is trying to explain it with racecar noises.
9. I got into car racing for the adrenaline rush, but I stayed for the free bumper stickers.
10. For my car’s birthday, I got it an oil change…and a cake shaped like a parking spot.
11. They say money can’t buy happiness…but it can buy a really cool car, and that’s basically the same thing.
12. What’s the difference between a race car and a shopping cart? About $100,000 and a helmet.
13. My car’s emissions test came back positive…for awesomeness!

QnA Jokes & Puns about Car: Buckle Up for a Hilarious Ride

1. Q: Why did the car get a poor grade on its music test? A: It kept failing to indicate its turn signals.
2. Q: What do you call a car that loves to breakdance? A: A brake-dancing champion!
3. Q: Why was the car feeling insecure about its age? A: It was going through a mid-life Chrysler!
4. Q: Where do cars go when they want to dance? A: To the auto-mobile disco!
5. Q: What do you call a car that’s a terrible listener? A: A car with selective hearing loss!
6. Q: Why did the car go to the bank? A: To get its Volvo refilled.
7. Q: What do you call a car that always runs late? A: A procrast-in-car!
8. Q: What’s a car’s favorite board game? A: Totalled Scrabble!
9. Q: Why did the car cross the finish line sideways? A: To get to the other skid!
10. Q: What do you call a car that’s always getting into trouble? A: A real fender bender!
11. Q: Why did the sports car get a speeding ticket on Valentine’s Day? A: It was driving under the influence of love!
12. Q: Have you heard about the new car wash that’s really popular? A: Yeah, they’re really cleaning up!
13. Q: What car does an electrician drive? A: A Volts-wagen
14. Q: Why did the car refuse to race? A: It was tired of all the fast and spurious accusations!
15. Q: What happens when a car breaks the law? A: It gets impounded and has to deal with the authorities!
16. Q: Why did the car get a job as a detective? A: It was great at following leads!
17. Q: Where do cars sleep? A: In a car-no-pia!

Dad Jokes about Car: Buckle Up for These!

1. My wife told me to take the spider out instead of crushing it. So I took it for a ride in the car. It’s probably why it’s called a “cob web” now!
2. Why was the car embarrassed after going to the car wash? Because it saw the brake fluid!
3. I saw a car with a bumper sticker that said, “Honk if you love peace and quiet.” I thought, “Dude, you’re driving in rush hour – what are you expecting?”
4. I tried to explain to my teenager how cars work, but he just wasn’t geared up for that conversation.
5. What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolkswagen!
6. My kid asked me what the little bumps in the road are called. I said, “Speed bumps.” He said, “I see why you like them!”
7. Why was the car always in trouble? It was notorious for its reckless abandon.
8. What do you call a car that can’t go straight? A wanderlust!
9. I put my car on a dating app, but it just keeps getting rejected. I guess it’s not very attracting!
10. Why did the car get a ticket on its birthday? It was parked illegally in the cakewalk zone.
11. Why did the baby car cry? It needed its “mommy van”!
12. What kind of car does a music lover drive? A Subaru-ffer!
13. I got my driver’s license revoked for speeding. Apparently, “Fast and the Furious” isn’t an acceptable excuse.
14. Why did the mechanic quit his job? He was too tired.
15. What do you call a car that’s always getting into accidents? A fender bender-bender!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Car: That Will Drive You Wild 😂

1. My car’s love language is premium gas. I swear it purrs louder after a fill-up.
2. Just saw a car with a bumper sticker that said, “Honk if you love peace and quiet.” The irony was deafening.
3. Parallel parking? More like “parallelly terrifying” everyone behind me.
4. My car has a mind of its own. Unfortunately, it’s also got the attention span of a goldfish.
5. I’m not saying my car is old, but it still runs on 8-track… and hopes and dreams.
6. “Keep honking, I’m reloading my imaginary argument list!” – My inner monologue in traffic.
7. My bank account after buying car parts: “We have reached an understanding. I’m empty, you’re screwed.”
8. If cars could talk, mine would probably just sigh a lot and ask for a nap.
9. Found my car key! Turns out, it wasn’t lost, just on an extended vacation at the bottom of my purse.
10. My car isn’t messy, it’s “creatively organized”. Okay, maybe with a sprinkle of “chaotic good.”
11. “Objects in the rearview mirror are closer than they appear.” Especially that police car. 😬
12. I don’t need a sports car. My 0-60 time just involves a lot more prayer and gear changes.
13. Car wash: The only time I’m happy to be stuck in a line that isn’t moving.
14. Some people collect stamps. I collect empty coffee cups in my car. We all have our hobbies.
15. Road trip snacks: 75% regret, 25% “I totally needed that extra jumbo bag of chips.”
16. Just because my turn signal is on doesn’t mean I’m turning… it just means there’s a slight chance I might. (Please don’t quote me on this.)
17. My car is my sanctuary. From responsibility, from adulthood… and mostly, from walking. 😅

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Car: Guaranteed to Drive You Punny

1. A car in the garage is worth two on the wish list. (But good luck finding parking when you get one.)
2. Don’t judge a car by its paint job, but by the dents it’s collected along the way. (Experience tells the real story.)
3. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it parallel park. (Some things even horses find impossible.)
4. Early bird gets the worm, but the early car gets the parking spot. (And the satisfaction of not circling the block.)
5. A rolling stone gathers no moss, but a rolling tire gathers no parking tickets. (Motion is key, unless it’s in a tow-away zone.)
6. Too many cooks spoil the broth, and too many backseat drivers spoil the road trip. (Navigational disagreements, anyone?)
7. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it probably would have been faster with a carpool lane. (Ancient traffic jams are the worst.)
8. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, unless it’s a carpool and you’re splitting gas money. (Save money and the planet.)
9. The grass is always greener on the other side… of the traffic jam. (And then you get stuck at the next one.)
10. One man’s junk is another man’s vintage car restoration project. (Beauty is in the eye of the grease-stained beholder.)
11. A penny saved is a penny earned, unless you’re talking about car repairs, then it’s a drop in the oil pan. (Mechanic bills are their own form of financial despair.)
12. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, and you can’t convince an old car to pass an emissions test. (Some things are destined for the great junkyard in the sky.)
13. Patience is a virtue, especially when stuck behind someone driving slower than your grandma. (Deep breaths, it’ll be a long ride.)
14. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, but the car with the blinking “check engine” light gets the hefty repair bill. (Ignoring problems rarely makes them disappear.)
15. Don’t cry over spilled milk, unless it’s on the leather seats of your brand new car. (Then you have permission to panic.)
16. Love is a highway, and some of us are just trying to merge without causing a pileup. (Dating is a lot like navigating rush hour.)

Car Double Entendres Puns: A Wheely Funny List

1. My car’s love life is on the rocks. It just got dumped by a pickup truck. (Dumped refers to both ending a relationship and literally being emptied)
2. That car salesman was so smooth, he could sell a sunroof to a submarine. (Plays on the absurdity of a submarine needing a sunroof)
3. This car’s transmission is so bad, it shifts gears slower than a sloth in quicksand. (Exaggerates the slowness of the transmission)
4. My mechanic told me my car needs a new heart. This relationship is getting expensive. (Plays on the double meaning of ‘heart’ as a car part and emotional center)
5. That self-driving car is so arrogant, it thinks it’s the wheel deal. (Pun on “real deal” and the car’s self-importance)
6. My car is starting to develop some serious road rage. I think it needs anger management or a good therapist. (Personifies the car and its anger issues)
7. I saw a car with a bumper sticker that said “Honk if you love peace and quiet.” The irony was deafening. (Highlights the contradiction of the message)
8. This traffic is so bad, I could have walked to my destination faster if I were a snail on roller skates. (Absurd comparison emphasizing the traffic’s severity)
9. My car’s battery died. Now it’s officially gone to the great junkyard in the sky. (Humorously refers to the afterlife of vehicles)
10. I tried to have a serious conversation with my car about its gas mileage, but it just kept giving me the silent treatment. (Plays on the anthropomorphization of the car)
11. That racing driver is so good, he can take corners faster than a politician changes their mind. (Sarcastically compares driving skill to political maneuvering)
12. My car’s engine runs like a dream… a nightmare where it screams and coughs up black smoke. (Subverts the positive connotation of “runs like a dream”)
13. I named my car “Cash” because it’s always taking my money. (Humorous reference to the cost of car ownership)
14. My car is so old, it remembers when gasoline was cheaper than bottled water. (Exaggerates the car’s age and the inflation of gas prices)
15. I tried to pay for parking with leaves because my car runs on gas, not money. Apparently, the parking attendant wasn’t a fan of my logic. (Absurd reasoning to highlight the expense of parking)
16. This car has so much mileage on it, it could probably write a memoir titled “A Hundred Thousand Miles and Still Kicking (Barely).” (Personifies the car and its experiences due to high mileage)

Funny Car Tom Swifties: Driving You to Laughter with Every Pun

1. “My car only runs on diesel,” Tom said crudely.
2. “I think my car needs new spark plugs,” Tom said disarmingly.
3. “Don’t forget to rotate the tires!” Tom said tiredly.
4. “I can’t believe I locked my keys in the car,” Tom said remotely.
5. “That’s the third fender bender I’ve gotten into this year!” Tom said bashfully.
6. “My car’s engine is making a strange knocking sound,” Tom said rappingly.
7. “I wonder how much this vintage Mustang is worth?” Tom mused appraisingly.
8. “I think my parking brake just failed,” Tom said slipperily.
9. “I’m selling my car with unlimited mileage,” Tom said freely.
10. “Let’s take the scenic route!” Tom said windingly.
11. “I just got my car detailed,” Tom said cleanly.
12. “The car won’t start! I think the battery’s dead,” Tom said flatly.
13. “My other car is a Porsche,” Tom said smugly.
14. “I just hit 100,000 miles!” Tom said triumphantly.
15. “My GPS is taking me in circles!” Tom said roundaboutly.
16. “I think I left the headlights on,” Tom said dimly.
17. “My car is my happy place,” Tom said, drivingly.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Car: You’ll Get a Kick Out of These

1. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Car.
   Car who?
   Car you hear me knocking? Open up!
2. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Fiat.
   Fiat who?
   Fiat a way, I need to get in the car!
3. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Caddy.
   Caddy who?
   Caddy want a ride in my brand new car?
4. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Diesel.
   Diesel who?
   Diesel help! I locked my keys in the car!
5. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Ford.
   Ford who?
   Ford the last time, let’s go for a car ride!
6. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Hybrid.
   Hybrid who?
   Hybrid you asking? Get in the car!
7. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Jaguar.
   Jaguar who?
   Jaguar going to let me drive your car?
8. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Kia.
   Kia who?
   Kia later! I’m going for a drive in my new car!
9. Knock, knock.
   Who’s there?
   Lexus.
   Lexus who?
   Lexus go for a spin in the car!
10. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Mazda.
    Mazda who?
    Mazda way I see it, we need a car wash!
11. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Porsche.
    Porsche who?
    Porsche, I didn’t know you had a car!
12. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Subaru.
    Subaru who?
    Subaru-bly know this car needs a wash!
13. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Tesla.
    Tesla who?
    Tesla you later, I’m plugging in the car!
14. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Toyota.
    Toyota who?
    Toyota good to be true! You got a new car?
15. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Volvo.
    Volvo who?
    Volvo you think you are? Parking like that in your fancy car!
16. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Wheels.
    Wheels who?
    Wheels drive home, you look tired!
17. Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    Trunk.
    Trunk who?
    Trunk or treat! We’re having a car costume party!