120+ Cheese Jokes & Puns: You'll Say "Halloumi"!

Get ready to giggle because this list of cheese jokes and puns is truly the best! We’ve got cheddar than clever quips and sillier than swiss puns that will have you rolling with laughter. Did you know there are over 2,000 varieties of cheese in the world? Well, we’ve gathered enough cheese humor here to top them all! Get ready for a gouda time – these puns and jokes are grate for any occasion!

Top Cheese Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: For Mature Audiences

Feeling feta up? ‘Cause you’re looking sharp!
I’m so fondue you, it’s not even funny.
You’re looking sharp today! Cheddar be good hair day.
Let’s brie together forever.
I think I have a crush on you. Is that gouda be true?
I’m blue without you. Please come brie-fore I crumble!
You make me melt!
I’m grate-ful for you every day.
You’re the big cheese!
We were meant to brie!
Are you a photographer? Because I can picture us together forever.
Let’s brie real, we were meant to brie.
I love you so much, my heart is bursting at the seams… of this cheeseboard.
You’re really looking sharp today!
I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
I brie-lieve in you!

Funny Cheese Jokes With One Liner Clever Cheese Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny Cheese One-Liner Jokes: Brie-lliant Puns and Jokes

I’m so fond of cheese, you could say I’m rather bleu-tiful without you.
Never tell a secret in a cheese factory – there’s too many holes in the security.
I tried to make a cheese sculpture, but it was too Gouda be true.
My friend opened a cheese shop, but he didn’t make any cheddar.
I met a cheesemaker from France who was super friendly, I think he was just being brie-ing polite.
Having a Gouda time! Wish you were feta.
I told my cheese it was looking sharp, it said it was trying to brie-come a better version of itself.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? Halloumi!
I once dated a grater, but he ended up being too cheesy.
You look really sharp today! …said no one to the processed cheese slice ever.
What do you call a cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
Why is Swiss cheese so lonely? Because it has no friends.
I’ve fallen in love with a piece of cheese, I think I’m having an Edam crisis.
I thought about going on a cheese diet, but I think it’s only going to work if I ched-dare to commit.
Life is like a cheese platter, it’s better when shared… unless it’s the last piece.
Just had to say, I camembert-lieve how grate you look!

QnA Jokes & Puns about Cheese: Ready for a Gouda Laugh?

Q: What did the cheddar say when it proposed? A: I brie-lieve we were meant to be together!
Q: Why did the cheese blush? A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
Q: What’s a cheese’s favorite music genre? A: Anything but cheesy pop!
Q: Why did the cheddar break up with the mozzarella? A: They were just too different… he was sharp, and she was a little too soft!
Q: What did the cheese say on Valentine’s Day? A: You make me melt!
Q: Why didn’t the cheese win the race? A: It got stuck in the final curd-dle!
Q: What do you call a cheese that’s not yours? A: Nacho Cheese!
Q: What’s a cheese’s favorite kind of movie? A: Anything with a good plot!
Q: Why did the feta cheese get fired from the Greek restaurant? A: It kept throwing plates! (feta = “plate” in Greek)
Q: What’s a cheesemaker’s favorite dance move? A: The curd-walk!
Q: Why did the cheese cross the road? A: To get to the whine shop!
Q: Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? A: De Brie was everywhere!
Q: What cheese do you use to entice a bear out of the woods? A: Camembert!
Q: What’s a cheese’s favorite board game? A: Chess… duh!
Q: What do you call it when a cheese doesn’t believe in gravity? A: Anti-cotta!
Q: What’s a cheesy pick-up line? A: Are you a cheese? ‘Cause I’m feeling a strong attraction between us!
Q: How do you cut the cheese? A: Carefully, wouldn’t want to spread myself too thin!

Dad Jokes about Cheese: They’re really Gouda!

Why did the cheddar cheese break up with the Swiss cheese? Because they had too many holes in their relationship.
Did you hear about the explosion at the French cheese factory? There was nothing left but de Brie.
I wanted to get a job making cheese, but I couldn’t find the right whey.
You look really sharp today! Are you sure you’re not a cheddar?
What do you call a cheesy birthday song? Happy Cheeseday to you!
I used to work at a cheese factory, but I quit. Just couldn’t take all the gouda-byes.
What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of a cave? Camembert out for a little while.
Why is cheddar cheese so expensive? Because it’s made from happy cows, and you know how much therapy costs!
My wife told me to buy cheese at the store, and I asked her, “How mature?” She said, “I don’t care, just get some!”
If you’re a fan of cheese, you can say you’re really fondue of it.
You know what they say… Age is just a number, like how long some cheese has been aged.
What cheese should you use on a pirate ship? Cheddar the hatches!
What’s a wrestler’s favorite type of cheese? Pro-volone!
I’m making a grilled cheese sandwich… I’m feeling pretty grate about it.
Someone stole my cheese! I better call Nacho Cheese!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Cheese to Make You Smile

“I’m like cheddar, baby. The older I get, the sharper I become.”
“You must be feta-up with people asking if you’re Greek.”
“Life is gouda, but it’s brie-tter with cheese.”
“Can’t decide on a gift? Just remember, anything is possible with a charcuterie board and enough cheese.”
“I’m not saying I’m cheesy, but I do believe love at first bite.”
“My spirit cheese animal? Definitely a Monterey Jack. Little bit of wild, little bit of smooth.”
“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy cheese. And that’s kind of the same thing.”
“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me wanting more cheese.”
“Relationships are like cheese. Some are mild, some are sharp, and some are just plain cheesy.”
“Forget the diamonds, I want a ring made of brie.”
“You’re looking sharp today! …said the cheddar to the grater.”
“I never met a cheese I didn’t like, and I’ve never met a person who didn’t love me when I brought cheese.”
“I think about cheese at least 99% of the day. The other 1%? …Still cheese.”
“In queso emergency, dial 9-1-cheese.”
“They say money can’t buy happiness, but have you ever tried buying a whole wheel of cheese?”
“I like my men like I like my cheese: aged and a little bit funky.”
“Always be there for your friends, especially when they’re cutting into a new cheese board.”

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Cheese: For the Gouda Times

Don’t cry over spilled milk, it’s pawsitively un-brie-lievable! (Play on “unbelievable” and brie cheese)
Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise enough to eat more cheese. (Classic proverb with a cheesy twist)
A watched pot never boils, but unattended cheese curdles. Patience is key, my friend. (Twist on the classic proverb)
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. (Humorous take on taking your time for the reward)
Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to make grilled cheese, you’ve fed him for life. (Grilled cheese upgrade to the classic proverb)
Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Where there’s cheese, there’s a happy me. (Cheesy twist on a common saying)
A friend in need is a friend indeed, especially if they bring wine and a cheeseboard. (Friendship proverb with a delicious twist)
Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it definitely had a decent cheese market by day three. (Historical humor about Rome and cheese)
Good things come to those who wait, but great cheese comes to those who refrigerate properly. (Practical advice disguised as a proverb)
You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs, or a fantastic cheese plate without trying something new. (Encouraging trying new cheeses with this proverb twist)
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a cheese board a day keeps everyone happy. (Health-focused proverb turned cheese-positive)
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, unless it’s a basket destined for a cheese fondue pot. (Investment advice, but make it cheesy)
A penny saved is a penny earned, but a cheese rind saved is a future flavor explosion in your soup. (Frugal proverb with a delicious twist)
Life is like a box of cheeses, you never know what you’re gonna get, but it’s always gouda try something new. (Classic Forrest Gump line with a cheesy pun ending)

Cheese Double Entendres Puns: I’m Blue Without You!

I’ve got my eye on you…and a tasty block of cheddar in the fridge. Don’t make me choose. (Desire vs. cheese cravings)
Baby, you’re looking sharp…almost as sharp as this cheddar I’m about to cut. (Attractiveness vs. cheese sharpness)
Are you a cheese grater? Because you’re shredding my heart into little pieces. (Heartbreak vs. literal shredding cheese)
This relationship is getting moldy. Maybe we need some fresh air…or a new cheese drawer. (Stagnant relationship vs. old cheese)
Honey, you’re my soulmate… and my gouda-looking companion. (Love vs. appreciating cheese aesthetics)
I’m feeling so blue without you… just like a forgotten piece of blue cheese. (Sadness vs. blue cheese comparison)
I knew you were the one from the moment I laid eyes on you…at the cheese tasting competition. (Love at first sight vs. love for cheese)
I like my partners how I like my cheese: mature and a little stinky. (Ideal partner vs. aged cheese preference)
Let’s get this bread…and by bread, I mean a baguette to go with this amazing brie. (Slang for money vs. actual bread for cheese)
I think I’m in love… with this triple cream brie. It’s so rich and satisfying. (Declaration of love vs. love for decadent cheese)
You make me melt like a grilled cheese on a hot summer day. (Feeling loved vs. melted cheese imagery)
You’re the Big Cheese of my heart! (Significant other vs. cheesy term of endearment)
We go together like wine and cheese…except I’d choose you over wine any day. (Classic pairing vs. cheesy proclamation of love)
Are you a cheese connoisseur? Because you’ve clearly got good taste. (Complimenting knowledge vs. implying they have good taste in people)
I’m feeling a little cheesy tonight…so how about we cuddle up and watch a movie? (Feeling romantic vs. literally craving cheese)
Is your name Parmesan? Because you’re grating on my nerves. (Flirtatious annoyance vs. literal cheese grating)

Funny Cheese Tom Swifties: A Gouda Time for Wordplay

“This cheese plate is amazing!” Tom exclaimed charcuterie-ously.
“I can’t decide between cheddar and brie,” Tom said indecisively.
“I tripped and fell into that giant vat of cheese curds!” Tom said whiz-fully.
“That’s the third grilled cheese I’ve eaten today!” Tom said toastedly.
“I love wearing cheese hats!” Tom said pointedly.
“Is that all the gorgonzola you have?” Tom asked crumblingly.
“We’re having cheese soufflé tonight!” Tom announced airily.
“This cheese is awfully strong,” Tom said pungently.
“Do you like my new cheese grater?” Tom asked gratefully.
“I think that cheesemonger winked at me,” Tom said blushingly.
“I tried to make a cheese sculpture, but it collapsed,” Tom said defeatedly.
“This cheese is past its expiration date!” Tom said bluely.
“Don’t forget to add extra cheese!” Tom shouted grate-fully.
“That cheese doodle just danced across my TV screen,” Tom said commercially.
“I just won first prize in the cheese rolling competition!” Tom exclaimed rollingly.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Cheese That Won’t Make You Blue

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cheese. Cheese who? Cheese a real pleasure to meet you!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Swiss. Swiss who? Swiss your lucky day! I brought cheese!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Feta. Feta who? Feta up and tell me you like cheese!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cheddar. Cheddar who? Cheddar get over here and eat this cheese plate with me!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Brie. Brie who? Brie mine, Valentine! Especially since you brought cheese.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Queso. Queso who? Queso you’re wondering what’s for dinner – it involves cheese!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mozzarella. Mozzarella who? Mozzarella you kidding me? You forgot the crackers!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gouda. Gouda who? Gouda see you made an effort with this cheese board!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Camembert. Camembert who? Camembert we go inside now? It’s cold out here and I have fondue!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Roquefort. Roquefort who? Roquefort-unately for you, I brought the crackers this time!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mascarpone. Mascarpone who? Mascarpone believe it’s not butter! (It’s cheese, and it’s delicious!)
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Halloumi. Halloumi who? Halloumi want for my birthday is a giant cheese sculpture!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gorgonzola. Gorgonzola who? Gorgonzola long way for this cheese, but it was worth it!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Havarti. Havarti who? Havarti tried this amazing new cheese shop? You have to!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stilton. Stilton who? Stilton you let me in? I’ve got a surprise… (Pulls out cheese!)
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Paneer. Paneer who? Paneer say I love cheese, but this is getting ridiculous!