100+ Chinese Jokes & Puns: You're in For a Wonton Time!

Get ready to experience the best of Chinese humor! This isn’t your average list of puns – we’ve scoured the Great Wall and back to bring you a collection of clever and positively hilarious jokes about all things Chinese, from mandarin oranges to, well, Mandarin itself! Fun fact: Did you know that Chinese is the oldest written language still in use, dating back over 3,000 years? That’s a lot of time to come up with some killer puns! Buckle up, it’s about to get punny.

Top Chinese Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Wok This Way for Laughs

I’m not fluent in Mandarin, but I can swear in it like a native. (Short & sweet, plays on stereotype)
Ordered takeout online. Instructions said “Choose one protein.” So, I messaged them back: “Whey?” (Pun on “whey” sounding like “way”, silly internet humor)
My friend’s really into Chinese zodiac… I guess you could say he’s a sign language expert. (Unexpected twist, wordplay on “sign”)
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato! Wait, that’s not Chinese… or is it? (Meta humor, breaks the 4th wall)
My fortune cookie was blank. Guess my future’s not written yet! (Optimistic spin on common experience)
What’s the most popular takeout container in China? The wonton box! (“One ton box” sounds like “wonton box”, silly wordplay)
You know you’re at a real authentic Chinese restaurant when the fortune cookies are just fortune cookie dough. ( Absurd, pokes fun at “authenticity”)
Started learning Mandarin. Turns out, it’s all Greek to me! (Classic idiom subversion, relatable to language struggles)
My dog ate my Chinese homework. When I confronted him, he just gave me this shih tzu look. (Pun on dog breed, relatable to student struggles)
They say money talks… but all mine ever says is “Goodbye!” Especially after dim sum. (Relatable to food expenses, short and punchy)
What do you call it when a Chinese restaurant is on fire? A wok-ing hazard! (Silly visual pun, plays on common kitchen item)
My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So, I’m having Chinese food for breakfast! (Relatable to indulging, subverts expectations)

Funny Chinese Jokes With One Liner Clever Chinese Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny Chinese One-Liner Jokes: Wok This Way For Laughs

I tried to learn Mandarin once, but it turned out to be too hard to peel.
I wanted to open a Chinese restaurant called ” Wok This Way,” but my investors got cold feet.
My friend said he wanted to speak Chinese fluently, so I told him he was just a syllable away from his goal.
Someone stole my Chinese dictionary. Now I’m at a loss for words.
I met a Chinese chef who was also a stand-up comedian. He had a great act – pure wokeness.
I went to a Chinese restaurant that served incredibly small portions. They called it “appetizer-tainment.”
Why did the Chinese restaurant use paper plates? They believed in dish-posable income.
I ordered a combination plate at the new Chinese restaurant. Big mistake, now I have kung-fusion.
I walked into a Chinese restaurant and asked for something spicy. They gave me a side-eye and said, “That’s how we roll.”
I told my friend I was craving Chinese food, but she just gave me a wonton look.
I tried writing a song about Chinese dumplings. It had a catchy chorus, but the verses were a little dim sum.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato, same as everywhere else, even China.
Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his food? He was shellfish! Even in China!
My friend said he wanted to name his pet panda after a famous Chinese philosopher. I suggested “Confucius.”
I’m writing a book about Chinese history. It’s a real page-turner, especially the chapter on the Dynasties.
What’s the most popular drink in China? Water.
I’m not a fan of Chinese whispers. Too much mis-fortune cookie-ication!

QnA Jokes & Puns about Chinese Culture & Language

Q: Why did the Chinese man get lost in the woods? A: He couldn’t find the right takeout.
Q: What do you call a fake noodle made in China? A: An impasta!
Q: Why don’t they play poker in China? A: Because someone always has a Won Ton!
Q: Why was the Chinese chef embarrassed? A: He made a faux pas-thai!
Q: Did you hear about the Chinese chef who won an award? A: He got recognized for his out-standing noodle soup!
Q: What’s a Chinese ghost’s favorite type of food? A: Spook-y noodles!
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a Chinese dog? A: A Collie-flower!
Q: Why did the fortune cookie go to the doctor? A: It was feeling crumby!
Q: What’s a dragon’s favorite drink after fighting bad guys? A: Green tea!
Q: Why did the acupuncturist win an award? A: He was right on point!
Q: Did you hear about the new Chinese restaurant on the moon? A: I heard the food is good but it has zero atmosphere.
Q: What did the sea say to the Great Wall of China? A: Nothing, it just waved!
Q: Why is it so easy to break the law in China? A: Everything is made in China, even the rules!
Q: What’s the most popular beverage in China? A: Wat-er you talking about? Tea, of course!
Q: What do you call a Chinese man who always gets into trouble? A: A Won-ton of trouble!
Q: Why are pandas bad poker players? A: They always go all in with a bamboo-zle!
Q: What’s a Chinese emperor’s favorite type of music? A: Anything but the blues!

Dad Jokes about Chinese Food

I tried to learn the Chinese alphabet once. It’s just not my cup of tea.
Why did the restaurant on the moon go out of business? It had no atmosphere… and the food wasn’t very good, even for Chinese.
If a Chinese chef messes up a dish, do they get wok-fired?
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta… especially if you’re eating Chinese.
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to a Chinese restaurant. Seemed appropriate.
Someone just handed me a leaflet about ancient Chinese rulers. I said, “No thanks, I’m Handed-down Dynasty.”
I’m dating a Chinese fortune teller. So far, so good!
I love my new Chinese wok, but the instructions are hard to follow. I guess they got lost in wonton translation.
What’s a martial artist’s favorite Chinese food? Kung Pao Chicken!
Where do Chinese vegetables come from? Produce markets!
Did you hear about the Chinese man who emigrated to open a bakery? He makes excellent wontons.
I told my wife we should try that new Chinese restaurant that just opened. She said, “We went there last week!” I guess I already wok this way before.
I went to a Chinese restaurant that served philosophical dishes. I ordered the chicken and the egg, just to see what came first.
My friend claims he can speak Chinese fluently, but I think he’s lion.
Why don’t they play poker in the rainforest? Too many cheetahs… especially when ordering Chinese takeout!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Chinese Culture

“My love for Chinese food knows no bounds… mostly because I can never remember which wall of the restaurant I parked by.”
“Just ordered Chinese takeout. Praying to the delivery gods that the spring rolls don’t spring a leak.”
“My therapist told me to find my happy place. Turns out, it’s inside a takeout container of General Tso’s Chicken.”
“Life is like a fortune cookie. You never know what you’re gonna get, except a vague prediction and a mild case of indigestion.”
“Me trying to use chopsticks: 50% skill, 50% hoping the food levitates into my mouth.”
“I’m not saying I’m fluent in Mandarin, but I can say ‘orange chicken’ in seven different tones.”
“My bank account after ordering Chinese: “一无所有” (Translation: Emptier than a fortune cookie factory after a holiday rush).
“My spirit animal is the lucky cat in the Chinese restaurant. Always waving in the good vibes… and hoping for a tip.”
“Sure, I could learn to cook Chinese food myself… or I could just support my local economy one delicious takeout box at a time.”
“My love for Chinese food is like a never-ending noodle. It just keeps going.”
“They say money talks, but my wallet always whispers after a good Chinese buffet.”
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Especially if it involves garlic sauce and stir-fry.”
“Sleeping is my second favorite thing to do in bed. Right after finishing an entire plate of lo mein.”
“Tried to pay for my Chinese food with a fortune cookie fortune. The cashier’s response? ‘That’s not how any of this works.'”
“Don’t worry, be happy, and eat some dumplings. Unless you’re allergic to shellfish, in which case, be careful and read the menu.”
“Pretty sure my blood type is MSG positive.”
“Netflix and chill? More like Chow Mein and unwind.”

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Chinese Culture

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single wonton. (A play on “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”)
Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man who run in front of car get tired. (A silly take on cause and effect.)
Confucius say, man who sleep in noodle factory, wake up feeling crumby. (A punny take on wisdom and consequences.)
Don’t cry over spilled soy sauce, it’s just bad soy luck. (A funny twist on accepting misfortune.)
Woman who tell age, also tell fortune… of wrinkles. (A playful jab at societal expectations.)
Silence is golden. Unless you ordering food. Then speak clearly, please. (A humorous take on cultural differences and communication.)
Fortune cookie never lie. It just sometimes forget what it trying to say. (A funny excuse for vague fortunes.)
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their chopsticks. You might trip and drop your dumplings. (A humorous take on empathy and understanding.)
Life like fortune cookie: sweet, crunchy, and occasionally contains cryptic message you not understand. (A funny observation about life’s mysteries.)
Better to have loved and lost in translation than never to have loved at all. (A comedic spin on heartbreak and language barriers.)
Don’t put all your dumplings in one steamer basket. Unless you really, really hungry. (A humorous play on diversification and appetite.)
The early bird gets the worm. But the second mouse gets the cheese. (A funny twist on timing and strategy.)
The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time you stumble on untied shoelace. (A funny and encouraging proverb about perseverance).
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be sitting next to you, saying, “That was awesome! Let’s do it again!” (A humorous take on friendship and adventure.)
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him eat dim sum. (A silly play on free will and cultural preferences.)
Life is like a bowl of noodles. It’s all about the slurp. (A fun and lighthearted approach to enjoying life).
Always remember: You are soy amazing! (A punny reminder of self-worth.)

Chinese Double Entendres Puns: Wok This Way for Laughs

“I tried to make Chinese food at home, but I think I used the wrong wok.” (Work/Wok)
“Dating a Chinese chef is great, until you have a big disagreement and everything goes wonton.” (Wrong/Wonton)
“My friend opened a Chinese restaurant in a library. He says business is booming because of all the book choys.” (Book Choice/Bok Choy)
“I’m learning Chinese, but tones are hard! I told my teacher I was ‘hungry’ when I meant to say ‘tired’. He looked at me like I was chow mein.” (Crazy/Chow Mein)
“My Chinese friend told me his dream was to open a chain of laundromats. I said, ‘Well, that’s very ambitious.'” (Ambitious/Ambi-trousers, a playful nod to stereotypical laundromat work)
“My date at the Chinese restaurant said I was ‘soy’ charming. I think they meant well…” (So/Soy)
“I asked the waiter if the Kung Pao was spicy. He said, ‘Sir, it’s made with chilies, what do you think?’ I guess he had a point…” (Pointed question/Chili peppers being pointed)
“Be careful ordering the ‘Mystery Meat’ at that new Chinese place… last time, I swear it winked at me.” (Wink/Suspicious meat quality)
“My uncle claims his fortune cookie was blank. I told him that’s just his bad fortune.” (Bad luck/Lack of fortune inside the cookie)
“Just started learning Chinese. It’s so hard, I think I’ll stick to English… for now.” (Stick with/Chopsticks)
“My friend’s Chinese New Year resolution was to eat less dim sum. But after a week, he was like, ‘Dim sum for what!'” (Dismiss/Dim sum, expressing disregard for the resolution)
“I think my Chinese neighbor is a spy. He’s always listening at the wall, trying to catch wind of things.” (Hear gossip/Reference to wind direction in ancient Chinese beliefs)
“I tripped and fell at the Chinese supermarket. All they had was CCTV, no sympathy!” (Surveillance/Lack of personal care)
“The acupuncturist said I needed to be more ‘yang.’ I told him, ‘Hey, speak English, I’m knot Chinese!'” (Not/Knot, referring to muscle tension acupuncture addresses)
“Went to a Chinese tea ceremony, very formal! They even served the tea in tiny cups… espresso-lly for me!” (Especially/espresso, playing on the small cup size)
“Heard a rumor that pandas are addicted to online shopping. Apparently, they love to browse through bamboo-zle deals!” (Bamboo/bamboozle, referencing online shopping scams)
“I walked into a Chinese restaurant and asked if they had any spare ribs. The waiter said, ‘Of course, sir, what kind of question is that? This is a respectable establishment!'” (Spare ribs/Extra ribs, playing on the literal interpretation of ‘spare’)