105+ Chocolate Jokes & Puns: Chocoholic-ly Hilarious!

Get ready to indulge your funny bone! This isn’t just another cheesy list of jokes – we’ve got the best, most clever chocolate puns and cocoa-centric humor this side of the rainforest (did you know chocolate trees actually grow on rainforests?). Get ready for a dose of positive vibes and side-splitting wordplay that will have you saying “OMG, that’s rich!” So grab a bar (or two) of your favorite chocolate treat and get ready to laugh!

Top Chocolate Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Sweeten Your Day

1. What did the chocolate bar say during the race? Choc-olate I win!
2. I love you more than chocolate. That’s a lie, and you choco-know it.
3. You’re my significant choco-other. Melts heart.
4. Feeling stressed? Just choco-chill out!
5. What did the detective say about the missing chocolate? It’s a choco-mystery!
6. Don’t be a choco-holic. … Okay, maybe just one more piece.
7. Life is like a box of chocolates… disappointing if there’s no map.
8. What’s a lawyer’s favorite chocolate? Sue-ffles.
9. I met someone who loves dark chocolate as much as me. We’re choco-soulmates.
10. What’s a chocolate lover’s favorite band? The Rolling Scones.
11. Broken up with my significant other. Guess I’m choco-single now.
12. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy chocolate… Same thing, basically.
13. Never ask a chocoholic for a piece of their chocolate. It’s a sensitive subject.
14. Always choco-check your candy stash. You never know when it might disappear.
15. What do you call a sad strawberry dipped in chocolate? Feeling blue-berry.
16. Did you hear about the chocolate thief? He got choco-locked up!
17. Choc-o’clock: The only acceptable time to eat chocolate. (Which is always).

Funny Chocolate One-Liner Jokes That Will Make You Melt With Laughter

1. What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? “Let’s swirl about this.”
2. I’m starting a band called “Missing Chocolates.” Our first gig will be a real surprise.
3. I love you more than chocolate, but please don’t make me prove it.
4. My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. Guess I’ll be hugging this chocolate cake pretty tight.
5. Chocolate comes from cocoa beans… so it’s technically a vegetable, right?
6. Life is like a box of chocolates—it’s always better when it’s not sugar-free.
7. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it… especially if it’s chocolate.
8. You say “meltdown,” I say “chocolate fountain emergency.” We both know who’s being dramatic.
9. Does anyone else eat their chocolate in alphabetical order, or is that just my cocoa compulsion?
10. If I ever get kidnapped, my ransom note better include a lifetime supply of chocolate. No negotiations!
11. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy chocolate, and that’s basically the same thing on a good day.
12. Chocolate is my love language. I’m fluent.
13. Breaking news: Chocolate identified as the main ingredient in “Having a Good Day.” More at 11.
14. I’m pretty sure my blood type is cocoa positive.
15. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato who loves chocolate!
16. Warning: Side effects of chocolate may include happiness, laughter, and the occasional chocolate mustache.

QnA Jokes & Puns about Chocolate: A Sweet Treat for Your Funny Bone

1. Q: Why did the chocolate chip cookie break up with the chocolate bar? A: Because he felt she was too flaky, and she thought he was just plain sweet…talker.
2. Q: What does a chocolate bar use to surf the internet? A: A Choco-late!
3. Q: Why did the chocolate go running on the track? A: He heard it was the quickest way to a “runner’s high.”
4. Q: What’s a chocolate lover’s favorite movie genre? A: Anything with a compelling choc-umentary plot!
5. Q: Why did the chocolate chip cookie get a job at the bank? A: He was great with dough!
6. Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a chocolate bar? A: A milk chocolate moo-stache!
7. Q: What do you call a sad strawberry dipped in chocolate? A: Feeling blue-berry!
8. Q: Where do chocolate bars go to learn new things? A: Choc-ollage.
9. Q: Why don’t they play poker in the rainforest? A: Too many cheetahs… and they’re always hanging around the cacao trees!
10. Q: What’s Dracula’s favorite type of chocolate? A: “I vant to suck your… cocoa!”
11. Q: My friend said chocolate is his love language. I think that’s weird… A: Are you sure? It’s pretty sweet!
12. Q: My friend only eats organic, fair-trade dark chocolate. He’s so pretentious. A: Yeah, he can be a bit of a cocoa-nut sometimes.
13. Q: What did the mom say to her kid who was cramming an entire chocolate bar in his mouth? A: Please, son, be a little more choc-o-late!
14. Q: Why did the police arrest the chocolate bar? A: He was caught with his hand in the cookie jar!
15. Q: How is chocolate like music? A: It comes with its own wrapper symphony!
16. Q: I tried to say “Thank You” with chocolate, but it didn’t go well… A: Oh no, did you have a meltdown?

Dad Jokes about Chocolate: They’re Choco-lot of Fun

1. Why did the chocolate milk go to the doctor? It was feeling a little crumby.
2. What does a chocolate bar use for online meetings? Coco-Zoom!
3. Why don’t they trust atoms with chocolate? Because they make up everything!
4. What happens when two chocolate bars fall in love? It’s a choco-LOT of commitment.
5. My wife asked me to pass her the chocolate. I said, “Sure, what are you, cocoa-NUTS?” …She’s not talking to me.
6. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato chip… dipped in chocolate!
7. Why did the chocolate chip cookie get a job at the bank? Because he was good with dough!
8. What’s a chocolate bar’s favorite type of music? Anything but the blues!
9. Where do they make chocolate candies? At the choco-factory, of course!
10. What do you call a bear with no teeth that loves chocolate? A gummy bear!
11. I wanted to buy some chocolate-covered raisins, but they cost an arm and a leg! So I got some chocolate-covered fingers instead.
12. What do you call a sad strawberry dipped in chocolate? Blue-berried in chocolate.
13. How do you make a chocolate milkshake? A: You give it a good whisking!
14. What do you say to thank someone for chocolate? “I love you more than chocolate…well, maybe not more…but it’s close!”
15. I want to name my pet parrot “Cadbury,” so I can say… “Cadbury repeat that!”

Funny Quotes and Captions about Chocolate to Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth

1. “I’m on a strict diet…ly chocolate.” 🍫
2. “Forget soulmates, I need a chocolate-mate. Someone who craves it as much as I do.” 😜
3. “You say ‘chocaholic’ like it’s a bad thing. I prefer ‘chocolate connoisseur.'” 😎
4. “My therapist told me to embrace my dark side… Is that why I bought the dark chocolate bar?” 😈
5. “Exercise? I thought you said extra chocolate!” 🏃‍♀️🍫
6. “Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions. Chocolate understands.” 😌
7. “In a world full of nuts, be a chocolate bar.” 💪🍫
8. “Relationship Status: In love with my chocolate stash.” ❤️🍫
9. “I’m not saying I’m addicted to chocolate, but I would definitely marry it if I could.” 💍🍫
10. “Sure, I have a “sweet tooth.” But it’s more like a whole sweet jaw…” 🤤
11. “Dieting is hard. Especially when chocolate keeps whispering sweet nothings in my ear.” 🤫🍫
12. “Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy chocolate, and that’s practically the same thing.” 🤑🍫
13. “Life is like a box of chocolates… Wait, scratch that. Life is like a whole chocolate factory. Delicious and a little messy.” 🍫🏭
14. “You can’t buy love, but you can buy chocolate. And with my budget, that’s basically the same thing.” 😭🍫
15. “My blood type is cocoa positive.” 🩸🍫
16. “Warning: May spontaneously eat chocolate.” ⚠️🍫

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Chocolate: Sweetened with Humor

1. A chocolate bar a day keeps the doctor in dismay. (Because you’re supposed to eat healthy, right?)
2. Don’t cry over spilled milk, especially when there’s melted chocolate nearby. (Priorities, people!)
3. Early to bed and early to rise makes a person crave chocolate chip pancakes. (Breakfast is the most important meal, after all.)
4. Give a man a chocolate fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him to fish, and he’ll probably still want chocolate. (Some cravings are just universal.)
5. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the chocolate. (Patience is a virtue, especially with sweets.)
6. A penny saved is a penny that can’t buy a chocolate bar. So much for that. (Inflation is real, folks.)
7. Life is like a box of chocolates, it’s always better with a sprinkle of sea salt. (Sweet and salty, the perfect combo!)
8. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, but the proof of the chocolate is in the drooling. (We’ve all been there.)
9. Don’t judge a chocolate bar by its wrapper, unless it’s gold foil. Then it’s probably amazing. (Appearances can be deceiving, except in cases of gold.)
10. All’s fair in love and chocolate wars. Especially chocolate wars. (Winning is everything, especially when chocolate is involved.)
11. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Where there’s chocolate, there’s happiness. (And probably a few crumbs.)
12. Good things come to those who wait, but chocolate comes to those who grab it first. (This isn’t the time for politeness.)
13. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two chocolate bars make everything better. (Math doesn’t apply when chocolate is involved.)
14. You can’t have your cake and eat it too, unless it’s a chocolate cake. Then you absolutely can. (Rules are made to be broken, especially cake rules.)
15. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but if they’d used chocolate as mortar, it might have been. (Chocolate makes everything better and faster, probably.)

Chocolate Double Entendres Puns: A Treat for Your Funny Bone

1. “I like my chocolate like I like my partners: rich, dark, and a little bitter.”
2. “They say chocolate is a substitute for love. Looks like I’m eating in for Valentine’s Day.”
3. “I tried to resist the chocolate, but it was calling my name… or maybe that was just the sugar rush.”
4. “Life is like a box of chocolates. If you eat the whole thing in one go, you’re going to feel sick.”
5. “Chocolate is my love language. Unfortunately, my partner only speaks ‘vegetables’.”
6. “Don’t worry, this chocolate bar is all mine! You can have a nibble though…”
7. “You can never have too much chocolate! …said my doctor, right before recommending a salad.”
8. “Chocolate understands me. It doesn’t judge my sweatpants and messy bun.”
9. “Some people say money can’t buy happiness. Clearly, they’ve never tasted good chocolate.”
10. “I’m on a new diet. It’s called ‘See food’ and it mainly involves chocolate.”
11. “Forget ‘Netflix and chill.’ Let’s stay in with some ‘Chocolate and Thrill’.”
12. “Chocolate is my biggest weakness. Well, that and… Okay, fine, chocolate is my only weakness.”
13. “I’m not addicted to chocolate, we’re just in a very committed relationship.”
14. “You say ‘meltdown,’ I say ‘chocolate fountain party for one’. We all cope differently.”
15. “They asked me what my ideal date was. Turns out, showing up with a chocolate fountain is NOT the answer.”
16. “This chocolate bar is so smooth and satisfying… just like me after my morning coffee.”
17. “Beware of anyone who doesn’t like chocolate. They’re clearly up to something.”

Funny Chocolate Tom Swifties: The Sweetest Swifties This Side of Lover

1. “This chocolate is bittersweet,” said Tom darkly.
2. “I only like Swiss chocolate,” Tom declared hole-y.
3. “Have you seen the size of this chocolate bar?” Tom asked thickly.
4. “This hot chocolate could use some more cocoa,” Tom said presently.
5. “I could really go for some milk chocolate right now,” Tom uttered moo-vingly.
6. “This chocolate is melting!” Tom exclaimed swiftly.
7. “This chocolate is way too rich for me,” Tom said with a flush.
8. “I think I ate too much chocolate,” Tom groaned weightily.
9. “I prefer white chocolate, actually,” Tom admitted vanilla-ly.
10. “This chocolate tastes a bit nutty,” Tom remarked cashewally.
11. “Only one chocolate left?” Tom asked mournfully.
12. “This truffle is divinely decadent!” Tom exclaimed chocolotly.
13. “This chocolate is intensely flavored,” Tom said deeply.
14. “This box of chocolates is all for me?” Tom gasped selfishly.
15. “Did you say free chocolate?” Tom inquired excitedly.
16. “This chocolate mousse is to die for!” Tom proclaimed heavenly.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Chocolate That Will Sweeten Your Day

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cacao. Cacao who? Cacao bean a long time, but I finally got you a chocolate bar!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chocolate. Chocolate who? Chocolate see you again soon, right?
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Choco- Choco-who? Choco-late than never to eat dessert!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candy. Candy who? Candy believe this chocolate is all for me?
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cocoa. Cocoa who? Cocoa-nut about you, but that chocolate bar looks delicious!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Choc. Choc who? Choc-full of happiness after eating this chocolate!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hershey. Hershey who? Hershey me another piece of that chocolate!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Choc-o-holic. Choc-o-holic who? Choc-o-holic you’re here, can you help me open this chocolate bar?
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dark chocolate. Dark chocolate who? Dark chocolate hid all the milk chocolate!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? White chocolate. White chocolate who? White chocolate what you’re having – it looks delicious!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Love. Love who? Love you a latte…and a chocolate bar!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Baking. Baking who? Baking you happy is easy with a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wrap. Wrap who? Wrap up the chocolate bar – it’s mine!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sweet. Sweet who? Sweet dreams are made of this… chocolate!