100+ Closet Jokes: Puns You'll Come Out Roaring For

Get ready to declutter your worries and open the door to laughter! This isn’t just a random pile of jokes, oh no, this is the ultimate, curated list of the best closet puns and humor. We’ve searched high and low (mostly low, closets are kinda down there) to bring you the most clever and side-splittingly funny material. Fun fact: Did you know the world’s largest collection of salt and pepper shakers lived in a woman’s closet for over 25 years? Prepare yourself for some seriously positive pun vibes, because where else can you find clothes, storage, AND endless comedic potential? Let’s dive in!

Top Closet Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: For Jokes That Pop Out

What did the frustrated fashionista say to their overflowing wardrobe? “I’m at my closet’s wit’s end!”
My friend’s a hoarder, but only with clothes. They say their closet is their happy place… because it’s always full of smiles.
I bought a self-cleaning closet… Turns out, it was just a regular one with high standards.
Heard a rumor about a haunted closet… Sounds like a scary tale of clothes encounters.
Went shopping for my minimalist friend’s birthday… Got them a closet organizer… for all two of their shirts.
My closet is like a time capsule… Full of outfits I swear I’ll fit into again one day.
Dating someone new? Don’t forget to take them to the skele-closet for a little meet and greet.
What’s a ghost’s favorite furniture? A clothes dresser, of course!
Accidentally locked myself in my closet… Talk about a wardrobe malfunction!
My dreams are like my closet… I have no idea what’s in them, but I’m afraid to open the door.
Just found the world’s messiest closet… Turns out, it belonged to a total slob king.
Tried to have a serious conversation with my teenager… They just gave me the silent treatment… from inside their closet.
My closet is a judgment-free zone. Unless you’re that shirt I wore once in 2008.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
My closet is a lot like my love life… Mostly empty, with a few skeletons I’d rather not talk about.

Funny Closet Jokes With One Liner Clever Closet Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny Closet One-Liner Jokes to Keep You In Stitches

My therapist told me to clear out anything in my closet that doesn’t spark joy… so I got rid of my husband.
I’m not saying my closet is overflowing, but I just found Narnia at the back of it.
My wardrobe is so full, even moths are on a waiting list.
I came out of the closet… turns out the door was just stuck.
I finally organized my closet, turns out I wear the same five outfits on repeat, just in a different order.
My closet is a black hole… clothes go in, but they never come out.
The saddest thing about my closet is that some hangers see more action than I do.
I should really clean my closet, I think I saw a tumbleweed roll through there earlier.
Every time I open my closet door, I half expect a donation bin to jump out and yell “SURPRISE!”
Does the monster under my bed also borrow my clothes? Because there’s no way THAT many things are missing from my closet.
My closet is like a time capsule of bad decisions and questionable fashion choices.
My shirts are starting to stage an intervention… they’re tired of seeing the same five pairs of jeans every day.
I’m not saying I have a lot of clothes, but I could probably go on a year-long trip and pack a different outfit for every day.
My ideal weekend? Staying in my pajamas and reorganizing my closet… said no one, ever.
I tried to explain to my cat that the clean laundry pile is not, in fact, a new bed… but judging by the fur, I don’t think he’s convinced.
I’ve accepted the fact that my closet will never truly be organized, it’s simply a constant work in progress (mostly procrastination).

QnA Jokes & Puns about Closet: Skeletons Not Included

Q: What did the fashion designer say to the messy closet? A: “Get a life…and some hangers!”
Q: Why did the shoes break up in the closet? A: They couldn’t see eye to eye on their sole purpose.
Q: Why was the shirt embarrassed to be in the closet? A: Because it was caught wearing last season’s fashion faux pas!
Q: What did the socks say to the sweater in the crowded closet? A: “Quit pushing! Can’t you see I’m pressed for space?”
Q: Why did the skeletons avoid going into the closet? A: They were afraid of coming out!
Q: How do you fix a broken closet? A: With a shelf-help book.
Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato who never leaves the closet!
Q: Why don’t they play poker in the closet anymore? A: Too much hanging around.
Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite place to play hide-and-seek? A: Inside a sheet-filled closet, of course!
Q: Have you heard about the fashionista ghost? A: He loves wearing boo-tiques and haunting closets for vintage finds.
Q: What kind of music do clothes listen to in the closet? A: Anything that’s currently in-seam!
Q: Why did the dress get a job at the library? A: It loved book-ing space on the closet shelves!
Q: Why don’t scientists trust atoms? A: Because they make up everything, including your closet excuses for not cleaning!
Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite part of cleaning the house? A: Dusting the cobwebs…especially the ones in the coffin closet!
Q: What do you call a dinosaur’s closet? A: A fossil-ized mess!

Dad Jokes about Closet: Prepare to be Clothed in Laughter

Why don’t skeletons ever tell secrets in the closet? Because someone is always dying to hear them.
I wanted to organize my closet, but I kept getting sidetracked. I guess you could say I got lost in all the clothes.
Just saw a ghost come out of my closet wearing a sheet. Guess he finally came out of his shell.
I tried to move all my winter clothes to the back of my closet… …but they put up a real front.
My wife asked me to fix the light in the closet… I said, “But honey, it’s already the brightest room in the house!”
You know your house is messy when… Even the dust bunnies are looking for the closet.
Why are moths always found in closets? They’re attracted to the latest fashions!
My son asked me for a hiding place. I pointed him to the closet. No one and I mean NO ONE, goes in there.
I lost my job at the closet factory today. I guess you could say I’m out of the loop.
What’s a vampire’s least favorite part of the house? The closet, because it’s where they keep all the stakes.
What did the clothes say to the iron in the closet? “Hey! Who pressed your buttons?”
My wife got mad at me for shrinking all her clothes. It wasn’t me! It was the closet, it’s way too small in there.
How is a cluttered closet like a time machine? They both have clothes from way back when.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato in the closet.
I tried to have a serious discussion with my teenage son about cleaning his closet. He just gave me the silent treatment.
What do you call a dinosaur that sleeps in your closet? A Jur-awww-sic Parka!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Closet: Skeletons Not Included

“My therapist told me to clean out my closet to reduce stress. So, I started with hers. Pretty sure that’s not what she meant…”
Me: “I just need a little space.” My closet: “Hold my dusty old winter coat…”
“I’m not saying my closet is overflowing, but I just found Narnia at the back.”
Life hack: Never fight with your significant other near the closet. You’ll only lose your argument…and your side of the closet.
“Having a messy closet isn’t a personality flaw, it’s called ‘vintage shopping at home.'”
“I don’t need therapy, I just need a bigger closet. And a personal shopper. And maybe a loan…”
“That awkward moment when your vacuum cleaner has more storage space than your closet.”
“Some people have a skeleton in their closet. Me? I have a whole clearance sale.”
“I finally organized my closet by color! Now I just need a closet organizer that understands ‘fifty shades of black.'”
Relationship Status: Drowning in clothes I swore I’d fit back into one day.
“My dream house doesn’t need a fancy kitchen. Just give me a walk-in closet the size of a small grocery store.”
“I wouldn’t call my wardrobe ‘eclectic’… more like ‘evidence of my questionable life choices over the years.'”
“You know you’ve reached peak adulthood when cleaning your closet sparks more joy than going out on a Friday night.”
“My closet is like a time capsule. Except instead of historical artifacts, it’s filled with regrets and questionable fashion choices.”
“The only skeletons in my closet are the clothes I’m too scared to throw away.”
Warning: Cleaning your closet may result in spontaneous online shopping sprees. (Don’t worry, I’m a professional.)
Just saw a spider crawl into my messy closet. Now I have to burn down the house. It’s the only way to be sure.

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Closet Skeletons and More

A cluttered closet is a sign of a stylish mind… that hasn’t done laundry in a while.
The clothes make the man, but the closet remembers what he wore last week.
Don’t judge a book by its cover, judge a closet by its shoe collection.
One man’s trash is another man’s vintage find… hidden deep within his closet.
A clean closet is a happy closet… until you remember all the clothes you forgot you owned.
The early bird gets the worm, but the fashionable one raids their closet first.
Patience is a virtue, especially when organizing your sock drawer.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, unless you’re talking about mismatched socks in a dark closet.
Don’t cry over spilled milk, cry over the cashmere sweater you shrunk in the wash and now hangs sadly in your closet.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but a full closet makes it hard to find anything.
The grass is always greener… unless you’re comparing it to the pile of clothes on your closet floor.
Haste makes waste, especially when you’re trying to cram one more outfit into an already stuffed suitcase… because your closet told you to pack everything.
Out of sight, out of mind… said everyone who has ever shoved clothes to the back of their closet and forgotten about them.
If the shoe fits, buy it in every color… and then panic about where you’ll keep them all in your closet.
The truth will set you free, but first, let’s clean out this closet so we can find it.
Good things come to those who wait… unless someone else gets to the vintage store first and cleans out all the good stuff before you can add it to your overflowing closet.
A penny saved is a penny earned… unless you spend it all on clothes and have to build a bigger closet to store them in.

Closet Double Entendres Puns: Skeleton Jokes Inside

“My therapist told me to clean my closet to get rid of my skeletons. Turns out, I had a bigger problem with hoarded vintage clothing.”
“I tried to keep my karaoke habit a secret, but my neighbors said my closet sounded like a dying zoo.”
“Dating a fashion designer is great until you realize their love language is stuffing you in a closet full of prototypes.”
“My friend said coming out of the closet was the hardest thing he’d ever done. I told him he should try finding a matching outfit in there, that’s a real challenge.”
“They say your closet reflects your personality. Mine must scream “chaotic good” because it’s a mess of sequins and overdue library books.”
“My partner accused me of hiding something in the closet. I told them it was my fashion sense, and they should be more afraid of what’s in the dresser drawers.”
“I finally organized my closet! Now I can’t find anything, but at least it sparks joy…briefly…before the panic sets in.”
“People ask why I have so many shoes in my closet. I tell them it’s because I haven’t found the perfect pair to run away from my problems in.”
“I tried speed dating, but apparently asking to see inside their closet on the first date is frowned upon. Weirdos.”
“My New Year’s resolution was to be more open and honest. So I threw open my closet door and let all my secrets air out… along with the mothballs.”
“My partner calls my closet “Narnia” because every time they open it, they get lost for hours.”
“I’m not saying my closet is haunted, but sometimes I hear whispers saying, “You never wear me anymore!”
“My dating profile says I’m looking for someone with a good sense of humor and a walk-in closet. Because honestly, one is useless without the other.”
“My therapist says I have commitment issues. I told her she should see how many clothes I have with the tags still on.”
“Life is too short to wear boring clothes,” they said. Clearly, they haven’t seen the depths of my closet… or my laundry pile.”
“You know you’ve reached peak adulthood when the most exciting thing you find in your closet is a twenty-dollar bill you forgot you had.”

Funny Closet Tom Swifties: Jokes Off The Rails

“This closet is surprisingly spacious!” Tom exclaimed roomily.
“I can’t believe you fit all that in there!” Tom said stuffedly.
“My winter clothes are at the back,” Tom said seasonally.
“These old clothes need to go,” Tom said thriftily.
“Shh, don’t tell anyone about my stamp collection,” Tom said privately.
“I’ve decided to come out of the closet,” Tom said openly.
“Oops, I forgot to return that library book,” Tom said belatedly.
“My greatest fear? Moths!” Tom confessed fearfully.
“I keep my shoe collection in here,” Tom stated well-heeled.
“This cedarwood smells amazing!” Tom remarked aromatically.
“I’m organizing my closet by color,” Tom declared brightly.
“I need more hangers!” Tom declared emphatically.
“Look at all the skeletons in here!” Tom said bone-dryly.
“I should really clean this more often,” Tom said dustily.
“I’m looking for my old prom dress,” Tom reminisced longingly.
“I can’t find my other sock!” Tom said defeatedly.

Knock-knock Jokes about Closet: Prepare to be Folded Over with Laughter

Knock, knock. >Who’s there? Closet. >Closet who? Closet thing to heaven is having an organized wardrobe!
Knock, knock. >Who’s there? Closet. >Closet who? Closet up – I saw you trying on my clothes!
Knock, knock. >Who’s there? Closet. >Closet who? Closet your eyes and make a wish – it’s laundry day!
Knock, knock. >Who’s there? Closet. >Closet who? Closet thing to a magic trick – making all these clothes disappear when I need to do laundry!
Knock, knock. >Who’s there? Closet. >Closet who? Closet the door! You’re letting all the skeletons out!
Knock, knock. >Who’s there? Closet. >Closet who? Closet me out, will you? I’ve got a new hat to show off!
Knock, knock. >Who’s there? Closet. >Closet who? Closet your mouth and help me find the matching sock!
Knock, knock. >Who’s there? Closet. >Closet who? Closet your textbook – it’s time for a fashion show!
Knock, knock. >Who’s there? Closet. >Closet who? Closet thing to time travel? Rummaging through my old clothes!
Knock, knock. >Who’s there? Closet. >Closet who? Closet your eyes, I’ve got a surprise for you! …What, you thought it was a new wardrobe?
Knock, knock. >Who’s there? Closet. >Closet who? Closet your ears! These shoes are having a heated argument!
Knock, knock. >Who’s there? Closet. >Closet who? Closet this – a talking closet! …Okay, maybe not.
Knock, knock. >Who’s there? Closet. >Closet who? Closet friends share fashion advice…and sometimes clothes!
Knock, knock. >Who’s there? Closet. >Closet who? Closet thing to a superhero? Me, after a successful shopping trip!
Knock, knock. >Who’s there? Closet. >Closet who? Closet your suitcase! We’re going shopping when we get there!
Knock, knock. >Who’s there? Closet. >Closet who? Closet but no cigar! There’s gotta be a matching shoe somewhere…