Laughing Through the Cold: 135+ Winter Jokes & Puns

Welcome to our list of the best cold weather puns and jokes for kids! We’ve rounded up the cleverest and most hilarious plays on words to add some humor to those chilly temperatures. Brace yourselves, because these puns are colder than an ice cube emoji ❄️, but guaranteed to warm your heart with their positive humor. So bundle up and get ready to weather the cold with a smile, as we present our list of puns about cold weather – it’s snow joke! ⛄️

Frosty fun and witty puns for cold weather – our top picks!

“Why did the snowman call in sick? He was feeling a little flakey.”
“What do you call a frozen snake? A cold-blooded reptile.”
“Did you hear about the ice cream that fell off the cone? It was snow laughing matter.”
“Why did the polar bear refuse to eat the penguin? He didn’t want to ruin his diet with all that cold fat.”
“How does a snowflake introduce itself? Hi, I’m unique.”
“Why did the snowball go to therapy? It was having an identity meltdown.”
“Did you hear about the scientist who studied ice? He was a real cool-genius.”
“Why do penguins always carry umbrellas? Because they are afraid of getting cold feet.”
“What does a winter jacket recommend? Snow down for a little while.”
“Why did the snowman take a vacation? He wanted to chill out.”
“What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.”
“What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.”
“Why was the snowman sad? He had a meltdown.”
“What do you call an alligator in a vest? An Investi-gator.”
“Why was the snowman running late? He got stuck in a snow traffic jam.”

funny Cold Weather jokes with one liner clever Cold Weather puns at PunnyFunny.com

Chill out with these hilarious Cold Weather one-liners!

Why did the snowman go to therapy? Because he was feeling a bit flaky.
My girlfriend told me she wants to spend the winter in the Caribbean, so I packed her bags and her ex-boyfriend’s snorkel.
What do you call a group of snowmen playing music? An icicle orchestra.
The snow may be falling, but that’s just nature’s way of adding sprinkles to my hot chocolate.
Did you hear about the guy who slipped on a patch of ice? He melted into a puddle of embarrassment.
Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose.
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
You know it’s cold when you go outside and it’s colder than your ex’s heart.
I’ve given up on winter diets. I’m hibernating until spring.
Did you hear about the snowstorm that hit the bakery? It was icing everywhere!
Why did Jack Frost go to therapy? Because he had a meltdown.
I don’t trust stairs in the winter, they’re always up to something.
What did one snowflake say to the other? Your outfit is totally snow last season.
If winter had a middle name, it would be “complain.”
I’m like a snowflake, unique and beautiful. And also, cold and easily melted by compliments.

Snow laughing matter: QnA jokes & puns about cold weather

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast? A: Frosted flakes!
Q: How do you catch a squirrel in the snow? A: Climb a tree and act like a nut!
Q: What is a snowman’s favorite type of crafting? A: Frosting decorations!
Q: Why did the snowman go to therapy? A: Because he was feeling flaky.
Q: What did the snowman say to his wife when she asked for money? A: “I’m sorry, I can’t make it rain!”
Q: What did one snowman say to the other snowman? A: “Do you smell carrots?”
Q: Why are igloos warm inside? A: Because they’re full of heaters!
Q: How does a penguin build its house? A: Igloo’s it together!
Q: What is a snowman’s favorite exercise? A: Frost-robics!
Q: What did one icicle say to the other icicle? A: “You’re a cool dude!”
Q: Why did the polar bear wear a scarf? A: Because he was a little chilly.
Q: How do you know if it’s too cold outside? A: When you go outside and it’s too cold.
Q: What do you call a group of penguins playing tag? A: A game of freeze tag!
Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman who was wearing earmuffs? A: “You look ear-ristibly cool!”
Q: What do you call a snowman in the summer? A: A puddle!

Chill Out: Dad Jokes about Cold Weather

What do you call a snowman with six pack abs? An abdominal snowman!
How do you know when it’s too cold to go outside? When you hear your teeth chattering from inside your house!
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Why do winter hats have ear flaps? So they can drop the beat.
Why did the snowman call his dog Frost? Because Frost bites!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
Why don’t people eat icebergs? Because they’re too chilly.
What do you call an Alaskan cow? An Eskimoo!
Why did the ice cream truck break down in the winter? It ran out of freeze pops.
You know what they say about winter in Texas? It’s a myth!
What do you get when you cross Frosty the Snowman and a vampire? A bite in the neck and a cold tingly feeling.
Why did the snowman go to the middle of the lake? He wanted to chill out.
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself in the winter? Because it was two-tired.
I thought about going on a diet this winter, but I decided to stay frosty instead.

Bundle Up and Laugh With These Hilarious Cold Weather Quotes

“I wish my bank account would hibernate during the winter like my bear-like cravings for carbs.”
“Nothing says ‘I’m ready for winter’ like a wardrobe filled with hoodies and stretchy pants.”
“Winter is the time of year when we all become self-proclaimed meteorologists.”
“I love when it snows, it’s like a big fluffy apology from Mother Nature for all the hot weather we endured.”
“If I had a dollar for every time I’ve complained about the cold weather, I’d have enough money to move to a tropical island.”
“Remember when we used to go outside and play in the winter? Now we just hibernate and watch Netflix.”
“Why do I even bother straightening my hair in the winter? Humidity turns it into a lion’s mane anyway.”
“Cold weather makes me want to cuddle up with a blanket, a book, and a hot cup of sarcasm.”
“If you’re ever feeling lonely, just turn up your thermostat. That comforting warmth will have you feeling like someone is hugging you.”
“I wish I could hibernate like a bear, but my responsibilities won’t let me sleep for four months straight.”
“Hot chocolate is like a hug in a mug, and in the winter, we all need a little extra love.”
“I’ll be excited for winter when it brings a big bag of money and cleans my house for me.”
“I’ll start working out in the winter, when my body naturally turns into a space heater.”
“Winterizing your car: because we all need a five-minute workout before we even get on the road.”
“My favorite winter activity is going outside, getting cold, and then coming back inside to complain about how cold it is.”

Warm up with a chuckle: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Cold Weather

“When winter comes, the birds migrate and I hibernate; it’s the circle of warmth.”
“A snow day keeps the doctor away, but also makes your boss come out to play.”
“Cold weather is like a bad boyfriend – it just keeps coming back to freeze you again.”
“A chilly mind is like an ice cream cone, if you don’t lick it, it will melt away.”
“The best way to stay warm in winter is to have a hot temper.”
“I may not be a meteorologist, but I can predict one thing – it’s always colder than the weatherman says.”
“In winter, going outside is like walking into a freezer wearing a bathing suit.”
“Snow brings out the child in all of us, until we have to shovel the driveway.”
“If you think my winter coat is too big, you should see the layer of fat I’m hiding underneath it.”
“Hot chocolate is like a hug from the inside, making winter more bearable one sip at a time.”
“I put on so many layers in winter that I look like a walking onion.”
“My face gets so red in the cold, I look like I’ve been slapped by a tomato.”
“I wish I could hibernate like a bear, but unfortunately my job doesn’t allow it.”
“Winter is nature’s way of saying, ‘You thought you had problems with mosquitoes in the summer? Here’s some frostbite to keep you busy.'”
“Forget diamonds, hot soup is a girl’s best friend in winter.”

Frosty Funnies: Embrace the Chilly Chuckles with Cold Weather Double Entendres Puns!

“Did you hear about the snowman who couldn’t find his carrot nose? He said it was a real ‘root’ awakening.”
“I love cold weather, but I hate bundling up. It’s such a ‘wrap’ battle.”
“Why did the snowman go on strike? He felt like he was getting the ‘cold shoulder’ from everyone.”
“I always make sure I have my ‘ice-scream’ cone ready for those chilly winter days.”
“What do you call a snowman’s favorite breakfast food? Frosted flakes!”
“I heard there’s a new ice-skating rink opening up in town. It should be quite a ‘cool’ attraction.”
“I don’t mind ‘chilling’ out in the cold weather, as long as I have a warm cup of cocoa and a good book!”
“Why do snowmen make such great athletes? They have ‘ice in their veins.'”
“What did one snowman say to the other when they were melting? ‘I’m having a meltdown!'”
“Why did the polar bear refuse to go outside? He didn’t want to get ‘polar-ized.'”
“Why couldn’t the snowman find his hat? He had ‘snow clue.'”
“My favorite part about snow is building snowmen. It’s just so ‘snow-cial’.”
“Why was the snowman sad? He just wasn’t feeling very ‘chill’ that day.”
“When it’s cold outside, all I want to do is curl up by the fire with a good book and ‘winter-mize’ my worries away.”

Cool Cliches: Recursive Puns about Cold Weather

What do you call a freezing cold snowman? A “brrr”riginal creation! ❄️☃️
Why did the ice cube stay out in the cold for so long? Because it had a polar-oid camera! 📸🐧
How does Jack Frost make his coffee? With ice cubes! ☕️❄️
Why do we love winter? Because it brings us closer to our chill-dhood memories! 👧❄️
I can’t feel my toes in this cold weather… maybe I’m frost-insensitive. 🧦🥶
Don’t worry about the freezing temperatures, it’s just a cold front! 💨❄️
To survive the cold weather, you just need to put on a bravely scarf. 🧣☃️
What did one snowman say to the other snowman? “Do you smell carrot?” 🥕☃️
I can’t wait for spring to come, but until then, I’m just going to put my dreams on ICEolation. 🌸❄️
Why did the banana put on a jacket? Because it peels cold! 🍌🧥
Winter always leaves me feeling so blue… or should I say, ice blue? 💙☃️
Did you hear about the snowstorm that was coming? It was all over the nICEs! ❄️🌬
What do you call an extremely cold polar bear? A frost-biter! 🐻❄️
The weatherman said it was going to be freezing cold, but I didn’t believe him until I saw a chicken lay an ice cube. 🐔❄️

Cold Weather” Brings Tom Swifties Chills & Thrills

“I can’t wait for winter to be over,” said Tom frostily. ❄️
“I don’t want to shovel any more snow,” Tom murmured grudgingly. ☃️
“Why are you wearing three jackets?” Tom asked shivering-ly. 🧥🧥🧥
“I’m done for the day, it’s too cold to work,” Tom declared icily. 🙅‍♂️
“I hope the ice on the lake is thick enough to skate on,” Tom said coolly. ⛸️
“I’ll be staying inside where it’s warm,” Tom stated heatedly. 🔥
“I’m not going outside until the polar vortex is gone,” Tom bellowed chillingly. ❄️❄️
“I can’t see through all this fog,” Tom said mist-eriously. 🌫️
“I’m going to have to cancel our hike, it’s freezing out here,” Tom shivered. 🚫🌡️
“I love cuddling up by the fireplace on a cold day,” Tom said warmly. 🔥❤️
“I can’t feel my toes, it must be below zero,” Tom said numbly. 🥶
“I’m craving hot chocolate to warm me up,” Tom said choco-lately. ☕
“I can’t believe it’s still snowing in April,” Tom said flaky. ❄️🌷
“I’m so cold I can’t even pretend to be excited for the snow,” Tom said chillingly. ❄️🥶

Chillingly Hilarious Knock-knock Jokes about Cold Weather

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Ice cold weather, that’s who!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frost. Frost who? Frostbite is no laughing matter in this cold weather!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Brrr. Brrr who? Brrr, it’s chilly in here!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wind. Wind who? Wind chill is not a friend in cold weather!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sleet. Sleet who? Sleet your way out of here, it’s too cold!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Parka. Parka who? Parka your bags, we’re heading to warmer weather!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cocoa. Cocoa who? Cocoa up with a blanket, the cold weather is here to stay!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Icicle. Icicle who? Icicle down and warm up, it’s freezing outside!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Four seasons. Four seasons who? Four seasons is too many for cold weather, can we skip to summer?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? North Pole. North Pole who? North Pole-ar vortex is causing this cold weather!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Winter storm. Winter storm who? Winter storm-ing outside, better stay indoors!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hail. Hail who? Hail no, I’m not going out in this cold weather!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mittens. Mittens who? Mittens keep your hands warm in cold weather!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Polar bear. Polar bear who? Polar bear with me, it’s going to be a long winter in this cold weather!

Chill out with these frosty funny puns!

Well, now that you’re all bundled up with 135+ icy cold jokes and puns, we hope you’re ready to weather the storm of laughter and chill out with some hilarious cold weather humor ❄️🤣 But don’t forget to warm up your funny bone with our other pun-tastic posts on Puns/Jokes about winter, snow, and all things chilly! Stay frosty, my friends! ⛄️