Colonoscopy, The Butt of 135+ Jokes & Puns: Giggle Your Way Through the Procedure
Looking for some humorous relief before your colonoscopy? Look no further! We’ve compiled a list of the BEST colonoscopy jokes and puns, guaranteed to make you laugh (and maybe even forget about the upcoming procedure). Because let’s face it, a little humor is the best medicine. So sit back, relax, and get ready for some clever and positive humor that even the kids will enjoy. Let’s dive into the wonderful world of colonoscopy jokes!” 😂💩🌭 #ColonoscopyHumor #FunnyJokes #PunsAboutPoop #PositiveLaughter
Behind the Humor: Top “Colonoscopy” Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks
- “I thought about getting a colonoscopy, but then I figured it’s just a lot of butt trouble.”
- “When the doctor told me to relax during my colonoscopy, I said ‘oh, I think I’ve got that covered.'”
- “Why did the colonoscopy patient bring a flashlight to the appointment? Just in case the doctor needed to shed some light on the situation.”
- “I don’t always get a colonoscopy, but when I do, I make sure to schedule a day off work. It’s kind of a bummer.”
- “I was really nervous about my colonoscopy, but then I realized I was full of crap anyway.”
- “They say laughter is the best medicine, but after my colonoscopy, I think anesthesia might be a close second.”
- “During my colonoscopy prep, I learned the true meaning of ‘explosive diarrhea.'”
- “Why did the colonoscopy patient refuse to drink the prep solution? They didn’t want their insides looking like a bad paint job.”
- “The worst part about a colonoscopy is realizing how many years you’ve spent neglecting your vegetables.”
- “I asked my doctor if he could find my dignity during my colonoscopy, but he said it was probably somewhere in the waiting room.”
- “I used to dread getting a colonoscopy, but now I just think of it as an internal spa day.”
- “Why did the colonoscopy patient skip their appointment? They were feeling a little ‘anal-retentive’ that day.”
- “I told my friends I was getting a colonoscopy, and they all wished me luck…until I told them what it actually was.”
- “If colonoscopies were a sport, my doctor would be a gold medalist. He really knows how to kick my colon’s butt.”
- “I always get a little sentimental after my colonoscopy. After all, it’s not every day someone gets to explore the depths of my soul.”

Laugh Your Way Through the Procedure: Funny Colonoscopy One-Liner Jokes
- What did the colon say to the gastroenterologist? “I’ve had a lot of crap happen to me lately.” 😂
- Why did the doctor use a colonoscopy? Because he wanted to get to the bottom of things. 🍑
- What do you call a colonoscopy in space? An astral-probe ☄️
- Did you hear about the colonoscopy that went wrong? It was a real pain in the butt. 💩
- My doctor said I needed a colonoscopy, but I was afraid it would be a pain in the ass. 🙀
- I was so nervous for my colonoscopy, but my doctor assured me it was a gas. 😜
- What does a colonoscopy have in common with a TV show marathon? They both involve a lot of watching. 📺
- My wife said I was being a real butt about getting a colonoscopy. 💁♂️
- What’s the best time to have a colonoscopy? Right after you’ve been on a liquid diet. 🍵
- They say laughter is the best medicine, but a colonoscopy sure doesn’t tickle. 😂
- If a colonoscopy is called a “visual exam,” does that make it an eye-opening experience? 👀
- They told me to drink lots of fluids before my colonoscopy, but I didn’t expect them to mean prune juice. 🍹
- Why did the doctor recommend a colonoscopy? Because our health should always be our number 2 priority. 💩
- Why did the colonoscopy patient bring a map to the procedure? So they could get the inside scoop. 🗺️
- My colonoscopy results were all clear, but I think my doctor may have been full of it. 🤥
Digging up some laughs with QnA Jokes & Puns about Colonoscopy
- Q: What did the doctor say when the colonoscopy results came back? A: Looks like you have a lot of crap up your sleeve.
- Q: Why was the colonoscopy patient feeling nervous? A: Because they were about to get a rear-view mirror of their rear-view mirror.
- Q: What do you call a colonoscopy in Australia? A: A Vegemite inspection.
- Q: How did the colonoscopy patient feel after the procedure? A: Gutted.
- Q: What did the colonoscopy doctor say when asked if the patient was ready for the procedure? A: Well, they’re pretty anal about it.
- Q: How do you know if a colonoscopy was successful? A: When the patient looks like they’ve been through a tight squeeze.
- Q: Why did the colonoscopy patient have to keep their eyes closed during the procedure? A: To prevent a brown eye contact with the doctor.
- Q: How did the colonoscopy patient describe the whole experience? A: It was a pain in the butt.
- Q: Why was the colonoscopy patient relieved to hear that the pre-op diet only consisted of clear fluids? A: Because they won’t have to strain themselves too much.
- Q: What did the colonoscopy doctor say when the patient asked if they could wear their lucky underwear during the procedure? A: Sorry, that’s not a procedure we cover under our “behind-the-scenes” services.
- Q: How do you know if you have a good sense of humor after a colonoscopy? A: When you can still laugh through all that sh*t.
- Q: What did the colonoscopy doctor say when asked if the procedure would be painful? A: Don’t worry, we’ll try to make it as smooth as possible.
- Q: Why did the colonoscopy patient avoid looking at the screen during the procedure? A: They didn’t want to see what was going on behind the scenes of their own body.
- Q: What did the colonoscopy doctor say to the patient before the procedure? A: Just relax, this won’t be a “butt-clenching” experience.
- Q: How did the colonoscopy patient respond when asked if they wanted to see pictures of their colon? A: No thanks, I’ve seen enough sh*t for one day.
Dad Jokes about “Colonoscopy”: Because Butt Humor Never Gets Old
- “Why is it important to schedule your colonoscopy? To keep things moving smoothly.”
- “I told my doctor I wanted a colonoscopy for my birthday, but he said it was a little invasive.”
- “How does a colonoscopy leave you feeling? Behind.”
- “What do you call a colonoscopy party? A “let’s scope out the colon” celebration.”
- “I asked my dad if he wanted to watch my colonoscopy video with me. He said he couldn’t stomach it.”
- “What did the guy say after his first colonoscopy? I can see clearly now, the poo is gone.”
- “Why was the colonoscopy camera so good at its job? It had a really good colon-vision lens.”
- “I finally convinced my wife to get a colonoscopy. She said it was a crappy experience.”
- “I went to get a colonoscopy and the doctor asked if I had any questions. I asked, “Do I need to take anything before the procedure?” He replied, “Only a seat.””
- “Why did the colonoscopy technician travel to different countries? He was an international intesti-traveller.”
- “What did the colonoscopy doctor say when he saw my results? Looks like you’re all clear for moonwalking.”
- “I asked my dad if he knew what a colonoscopy was and he said, “Sounds like a camera for butt selfies.””
- “Why was the colonoscopy patient screaming while in the procedure? He was getting colonicus attackus.”
- “What do you get when you combine a colonoscopy with a comedy show? A laughably invasive experience.”
- “I had a colonoscopy last week and the doctor said everything looked good, but he did find a really old sandwich. I guess I’m a walking dumpster.”
Laughter is the Best Medicine: Funny Quotes about Colonoscopy
- “I tried to reschedule my colonoscopy, but they said they were booked up. Looks like I’ll have to find a different way to get a camera up my butt.”
- “Not all heroes wear capes, some just endure colonoscopies with grace and humor.”
- “The best part about getting a colonoscopy? Free anesthesia and an excuse to fart all day.”
- “Doctors say laughter is the best medicine, but I’m pretty sure the happy juice they give you for a colonoscopy comes in a close second.”
- “Oh, you think your job is crappy? Try being a colonoscope for a day.”
- “I accidentally signed up for a colonoscopy instead of a spa day. Needless to say, that was the cleanest my colon has ever been.”
- “They say the camera adds 10 pounds, but apparently it also adds a whole lot of poop.”
- “Life is like a colonoscopy: it’s uncomfortable, it’s invasive, but in the end, it’s for your own good.”
- “I asked for a surprise ending to my colonoscopy, but all I got was a rude awakening.”
- “I don’t always have coffee, but when I do, it’s only before a colonoscopy.”
- “Colonoscopies are like surprise parties, except you already know what’s hiding behind the curtain.”
- “Whoever came up with the idea of a colonoscopy clearly had a twisted sense of humor.”
- “I never thought I’d be excited to see pictures of my own colon, but here we are.”
- “Apparently having a clean colon is a prerequisite to becoming a dignified adult. Good thing I haven’t grown up yet.”
- “I’m pretty sure I’ve seen enough of my insides now to do my own colonoscopies. Anyone need some backdoor medical services?” 💩💉🚪
Behind every great exam is a great Colonoscopy!
- “A colonoscopy a day keeps the doctor away…from your backside.”
- “A colonoscopy is like a garage sale for your insides.”
- “A colonoscopy is just a fancy word for a butt inspection.”
- “Don’t trust a fart after a colonoscopy.”
- “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade…after your colonoscopy prep.”
- “A colonoscopy is the ultimate trust fall with your doctor.”
- “Forget diamonds, a clean colon is a girl’s best friend.”
- “Colonoscopy: the ultimate cleanse for the anal-retentive.”
- “When life hands you polyps, make sure you get them removed.”
- “A colonoscopy is like a vacation…but instead of a tropical island, it’s your bathroom.”
- “You can’t spell colonoscopy without ‘colony’…because that’s what’s living inside your colon.”
- “Colonoscopy prep: the ultimate test of self-control.”
- “For a good time, call your gastroenterologist for a colonoscopy.”
- “A colonoscopy is like an episode of Hoarders, but with polyps.”
Bottoms up! Exploring “Colonoscopy” Double Entendres Puns
- “Stepping into the backdoor: A journey through the colonoscopy”
- “Going in blind: A colonoscopy adventure”
- “Reaching new depths: The joy of colonoscopies”
- “Riding the poop chute: A colonoscopy story”
- “Forget skydiving, try a colonoscopy for a real thrill”
- “Exploring uncharted territories: A colonoscopy expedition”
- “From shy to colonoscopy pro: A transformation tale”
- “Witnessing the inner workings: A colonoscopy spectacle”
- “Prepping for the butt camera: The ultimate self-care routine”
- “One man’s journey through the great colon: A hero’s tale”
- “A butt plug with a purpose: The colonoscopy procedure”
- “An inside job: A sneak peek into your colon”
- “Gut feelings: A hilarious colonoscopy memoir”
- “A pain in the butt, literally: A colonoscopy comedy”
- “The ultimate butt check: A guide to colonoscopies”
Dive Into Deeper Humor: Recursive Puns about Colonoscopy
- “Why was the doctor afraid to perform a colonoscopy? It was too much pressure – and they were already feeling a little behind.”
- “I had a colonoscopy the other day and the doctor said ‘no polyps, no problem.’ But I couldn’t help thinking ‘no bodies, no business.'”
- “I told my doctor I was nervous about my colonoscopy and they said ‘just relax and let the camera do the talking.’ I’m not sure if that’s reassuring or just unsettling.”
- “What did the doctor say when the colonoscopy results showed no issues? ‘Looks like someone’s got a clean slate – or should I say a clean… colon?'”
- “I had a colonoscopy scheduled for today, but it got cancelled. I guess you could say they gave me the ol’ runaround.”
- “During my colonoscopy prep, I realized my fear of needles wasn’t as bad as my fear of enemas.”
- “My doctor said I needed a colonoscopy and I replied ‘I guess it’s time to get my sh*t together.'”
- “I told my friend about my upcoming colonoscopy and they responded ‘ooh, sounds like a pain in the butt.’ I don’t think they got the pun.”
- “I asked my doctor why I needed a colonoscopy and they replied ‘we just want to get a better look at your booty.’ I think they were trying to make me laugh before the procedure, but it just made it more awkward.”
- “I had to get a colonoscopy so I could see my insides. Turns out, I have a pretty gut feeling.”
- “Before my colonoscopy, I complained to my doctor about having to fast. They responded ‘I know, it’s a real pain in the a**.’ Pun intended, I hope.”
Colonoscopy procedures? Tom Swifties says ‘That’s one way to get the inside scoop!’
- “I never thought a ‘colonoscopy’ would be so invasive,” Tom said, tongue-in-cheek.
- “I can’t believe I have to drink this awful prep solution,” Tom groaned, drearily.
- “I hope my doctor has a good sense of humor,” Tom chuckled, nervously.
- “At least I’ll get a nice view of my insides,” Tom observed, cheekily.
- “I feel like a piece of meat on display,” Tom quipped, playfully.
- “I never knew my colon could have such star power,” Tom marveled, incredulously.
- “I bet my colon is the talk of the town right now,” Tom winked, mischievously.
- “I hope my colon cooperates for the camera,” Tom prayed, sincerely.
- “Why does the colonoscopy room remind me of a spaceship?” Tom mused, spaciously.
- “I never thought I’d be moonlighting as a ‘butt model’,” Tom snickered, cheekily.
- “I wonder if I can get this colonoscopy on Instagram,” Tom pondered, socially.
- “I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster ride through my digestive system,” Tom exclaimed, motion-sickly.
- “I hope I don’t accidentally fart during the procedure,” Tom quipped, gaspingly.
- “I guess you could say this is a ‘crappy’ situation,” Tom punned, poignantly.
Colonoscopy doesn’t have to be a pain- just ask these knock-knock jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t be scared, it’s just the colonoscopy!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive for a good colonoscopy!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Banana have this colonoscopy scheduled?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for your colonoscopy!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe be glad you’re getting a colonoscopy!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gorilla. Gorilla who? Gorilla get through this colonoscopy together!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honeydew. Honeydew who? Honeydew you know I have a colonoscopy scheduled tomorrow?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Iota. Iota who? Iota feel a little uneasy about this colonoscopy.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Amish. Amish who? Amish you’d trust me to do your colonoscopy!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo hoo. Boo hoo who? Don’t be sad, just think of all the laughs this colonoscopy will bring!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Yukon. Yukon who? Yukon’t believe it’s almost time for your colonoscopy!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nacho. Nacho who? Nacho average day – it’s time for your colonoscopy!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad you scheduled your colonoscopy?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, cows go moo, but you better go get your colonoscopy!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boogie. Boogie who? Boogie on down to the doctor’s office for your colonoscopy! 💃🚪👋
Leaving you laughing all the way out!
Alright folks, I think it’s safe to say we’ve explored the depths of colonoscopy humor 🕳️💩 But don’t stop here, there are plenty more crappy puns and jokes to be found in our other posts 🤪 So go ahead, dive in and let your laughter be the best medicine! 💊😂 #PunIntended #LaughterIsTheBestMedicine