115+ Crab Jokes & Puns: Shell We Laugh Now?
Get ready to laugh your shells off because you’ve stumbled upon the best compilation of crab jokes and puns this side of the Atlantic! This list of crustacean-themed humor is packed with clever wordplay and positively claw-some punchlines. Did you know a group of crabs is called a “cast”? Well, get ready to meet the cast and crew of comedic crustaceans as we dive into a sea of puns!
Top Crab Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Claw-some Laughs Guaranteed
- What’s a crab’s favorite type of documentary? Anything claw-ssic.
- My friend said crabs are grumpy. I think he’s shellfish.
- What did the crab say after losing a fight? “I’m feeling shellfish.”
- How do you communicate with a crab? You have to use crab-tions.
- I just bought a belt made out of crabs… Think it was a waist of money.
- What’s a crab’s favorite song? “Under the Sea.”
- Why did the crab get in trouble at school? He kept pinching answers.
- Heard a rumor about butter… Never mind, it’s spreadable.
- Those crabs are always starting fights. What a bunch of crustaceans!
- What’s a crab’s favorite game to play with friends? Grab-ass.
- My hermit crab keeps switching shells. He’s got multiple personalities!
- The crab applied for a loan… The bank said he needed a co-sign-er.
- A crab walked into a bar… The bartender said, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The crab replied, “What? You have a drink called Steve?”
- Why don’t they allow crabs on the train? They use claw-sed captioning.
- You think you’re better than me just because you’re a crab? Don’t be so crabby!
- I’m making a crab-themed restaurant. Now taking reservations. Shell we?
- This party is boring! Let’s get this crab-a-que started!
Funny Crab One-Liner Jokes To Claw Your Way To Laughter
- What do you call a crab that plays baseball? A pinch-hitter!
- My friend said crabs are easy to draw, I told him that was a bold statement.
- I tried to make a belt out of hermit crabs once… Biggest waist of time!
- This morning I saw a crab walking down the street in a trench coat. I thought, “That’s just crab-ulous!”
- Why did the crab fail his driving test? He kept failing to yield.
- Where do crabs cash their checks? At the crustacean bank, of course!
- You know what’s hard to understand? Crabby handwriting.
- Heard a rumor about a crab revolution starting… they say it’s a grassroots movement.
- I’m not sure how I feel about this new crab restaurant… Something about it seems a bit fishy.
- Tried to explain to a crab the importance of open-mindedness. He just clamped up.
- What’s a crab’s least favorite month? Octo-ber.
- Why did the crab cross the beach? To get to the other tide.
- What do you call a crab with a bad attitude? A sourpuss.
- Never get into an argument with a crab, they’re always going to side with their friends.
QnA Jokes & Puns about Crab: Shell We Get Cracking?
- Q: Why did the crab get sent to the principal’s office? A: For pinching someone’s lunch!
- Q: What does a crab use to surf the internet? A: Crab-ernet!
- Q: What’s a crab’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good beat…and you know they gotta feel it in their claws!
- Q: Why are crabs such good poker players? A: They always keep a straight face…even when they’re bluffing!
- Q: Why don’t crabs donate to charity? A: They’re too shellfish!
- Q: What did the ocean say to the crab? A: Nothing, it just waved!
- Q: What’s a crab’s favorite magazine? A: “Claw and Order”
- Q: Why did the hermit crab move to a new shell? A: He needed more shelf space!
- Q: What do you get from a grumpy crab? A: Crabby patties!
- Q: What’s a crab’s favorite dance move? A: The side-shuffle!
- Q: Why did the crab family go on vacation? A: They needed a shell-abration!
- Q: What do you call a crab who’s a lawyer? A: Sue-shi!
- Q: Where do crabs cash their checks? A: At the river bank!
- Q: Why was the crab staring at the juice box? A: It said “concentrate!”
- Q: What do you call a crab that loves to sing? A: A “pincer-tone”!
- Q: What does a crab use to clean its house? A: A claw-set!
Dad Jokes about Crab: They’re Claw-some!
- Why did the crab get in trouble at school? He kept disrupting the class.
- You know, I’m crabby because I haven’t had a meal all day… shellfish, isn’t it?
- Why did the crab blush? It saw the ocean’s bottom.
- What does a crab use to surf the internet? Crabernet.
- What’s a crab’s favorite song? Anything by the Bach-ribbean band.
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it… so I took it to the movies! What did I do with the crab? Took it to a rave!
- Why don’t crabs donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
- What do you call a crab that surrenders? Crustacean defeated.
- What’s it called when a crab loses its cool? A shell shock.
- How did the hermit crab know it was time to move? It was getting too shellfish for its own shell.
- I just saw a crab holding hands with a lobster… I guess you could say they’re claw-fully in love.
- My friend said crabs are vegetarians. I was like, “That’s a load of carp!”
- What’s red and bad for your cholesterol? Crab legs!
- What’s a crab’s favorite magazine? Claw-smopolitan.
- I tried to explain to my son why we can’t have a pet crab… there’s just no pleasing some crustaceans.
Funny Quotes and Captions about Crab That Will Make You Crack Up
- “Life’s too short to be crabby… unless you’re an actual crab, then it’s basically your brand.” 🦀
- “Just saw a crab walking sideways. Finally, someone who understands my dance moves.”
- “Hermit crabs are the ultimate introverts. They carry their homes on their backs to avoid small talk.”
- “Relationship status: Single and ready to shell-ebrate!” (Picture of a crab)
- “You’re looking crabulous today! No, seriously, you look like you could use a vacation.”
- “Don’t be shellfish, share the butter!” (Picture of delicious crab legs)
- “What’s a crab’s favorite song? Anything by the Baha Men!” 🎶🦀
- “Crabs are just lobsters who got tired of the rat race and moved to the beach.”
- “I tried starting a crab walking club… but we couldn’t get anywhere.”
- “My therapist told me to get in touch with my emotions. Turns out, I’m crabby.”
- “Heard a rumor that crabs love gossip… they’re always picking up on things.” 🤫🦀
- “You know you’ve found true love when you meet someone who loves you even when you’re being a little… crabby.”
- “Crabs: Proof that you can be pinch-perfect even if you walk sideways.”
- “Me trying to adult today.” (Picture of a crab struggling to walk)
- “Life is like a bucket of crabs. If you’re not careful, you’ll get pinched.” Bonus Pun: * “Crabs have really gotten a bad rap. I think they’re claw-some!”
Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Crab: With a Pinch of Claw-ver Humor
- A watched crab never boils… it just waves hello with its claws.
- Don’t count your crabs before they hatch… unless you’re really good at math and like a challenge.
- The early crab gets the worm… and stares menacingly at the other crabs.
- You can lead a crab to water, but you can’t make it wear a tiny swimsuit.
- A crab in the pot is worth two on the… wait, why are we putting crabs in pots again?
- One man’s trash is another crab’s meticulously decorated shell.
- The only thing worse than a grumpy crab is a grumpy crab who’s lost its lucky bottle cap. (Hermit Crab reference!)
- Don’t cry over spilled seawater… unless a crab uses it as an opportunity to steal your sandwich.
- Life is like a bucket of crabs… eventually, they all try to climb on each other’s heads.
- Give a crab a fish, and you feed it for a day; teach a crab to fish, and it’ll open a seafood restaurant with tiny menus.
- A crab’s home is its castle… especially if it’s a really pointy, well-decorated shell.
- Slow and steady wins the race… unless you’re a crab in a crab race, then it’s pure chaos.
- You can’t judge a crab by its shell… unless it’s a particularly fashionable shell, then you can be a little judgmental.
- All that glitters is not gold… sometimes it’s just a shiny piece of seaweed a crab is inexplicably obsessed with.
- Good things come to those who wait… patiently for the crab to finish its elaborate sandcastle before stomping on it. (We’re kidding, please don’t stomp on sandcastles).
- Don’t put all your crabs in one bucket… spread them out a bit, give them some space, maybe invite a clownfish, throw a little undersea party.
- To err is human, to forgive is divine… unless the crab stole your favorite sunglasses, then it’s time for revenge! (Ok, maybe not revenge… but definitely a stern talking-to.)
Crab Double Entendres Puns: They’re Claw-ver!
- “I tried to explain to the crab about patience, but he just kept pinching me off.” (Pinching off can refer to silencing someone and a crab’s action)
- “That comedian was so funny, I almost went crab-less with laughter!” (Crabless refers to having no crab and laughing so hard you lose your composure).
- “Dating a hermit crab is tough, he’s always got his housewarming party at a new place.” (Plays on the hermit crab’s habit of changing shells and literal housewarming parties).
- “The crab won the lottery and finally traded in his shell-ter for a mansion.” (Shell-ter refers to both a shell and a basic shelter, playing on the idea of upgrading).
- “This traffic is terrible! I’m crabby before my coffee, and now I’ll be shellfish to boot!” (Crabby as in grumpy, shellfish playing on the dual meaning of selfish and being a crab).
- “The crab chef refused to share his secret ingredient. He was surprisingly shellfish with his recipe.” (Shellfish again playing on the dual meaning of selfish and being a crab).
- “He’s got a real crab-tivating personality… once you get past the pincers.” (Crabtivating combines crab and captivating, acknowledging the duality of their nature).
- “The crab opened a seafood restaurant. Business was booming, you could say he was quite crab-italist.” (Crab-italist combines crab and capitalist, poking fun at success in business).
- “That’s the last time I order a crab online. It arrived completely shell shocked! (Shell shocked plays on the idiom and the literal arrival state of a shipped crab).
- “You think you had a bad day? I just found out my favorite seafood restaurant uses artificial crab! I am absolutely crushed.” (Crushed plays on feeling emotionally hurt and the method of preparing crab meat).
- “I went to the doctor about my constant pinching feeling. He diagnosed me with… wait for it… crab-romyalgia!” (Combines crab and fibromyalgia for a silly, made-up condition).
- “The crab was a talented musician, his claw-tar solos were legendary!” (Claw-tar combines claw and guitar for a funny image of crab musicality).
- “I saw a crab walking down the street in a trench coat. I thought, ‘Man, that’s one shellfish private investigator.'” (Shellfish again plays on the dual meaning, while creating a humorous character image).
- “Don’t be crabby, let’s shell-ebrate! It’s National Crustacean Day!” (A final punny celebration, encouraging good vibes despite the crab-like grumpiness).
Funny Crab Tom Swifties: Shell-abrously Punny Jokes
- “I can’t believe you stole my credit card!” Tom said crabbily.
- “Let’s dance sideways!” Tom said crabbily.
- “That shell is a bit snug,” Tom said crabbily.
- “This beach house costs an arm and a leg!” Tom said crabbily.
- “I think I’ll just pinch this idea,” Tom said crabbily.
- “This seaweed tastes surprisingly good!” Tom said crabbily.
- “I’m feeling a bit crabby today,” Tom said crabbily.
- “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you,” Tom said crabbily.
- “Have you seen my sandcastle? It’s gone!” Tom said crabbily.
- “I just love digging in the sand,” Tom said crabbily.
- “This vacation is really going swimmingly,” Tom said crabbily.
- “My ex-girlfriend left me for a lobster,” Tom said crabbily.
- “I’m feeling a little shellfish today,” Tom said crabbily.
- “Pass me another bucket for these shells,” Tom said crabbily.
- “Watch out for that wave!” Tom shouted crabbily.
- “I think I’ll borrow this shell,” said Tom hermit-crabbily.
- “It’s tough finding a home that fits just right,” Tom said hermit-crabbily.
Knock-Knock Jokes about Crab: Shell We Start?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Crab. Crab who? Crab a seat, it’s story time!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Crab. Crab who? Crab me a cold one, will ya? It’s hot out here!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Crab. Crab who? ‘Crab’tivating conversation, isn’t it?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hermit. Hermit who? Hermit you didn’t know, but crabs carry their homes on their backs!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Crabby. Crabby who? Crabby your dictionaries, we’re having a pun-off!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Crab. Crab who? Long time no sea!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pincer. Pincer who? Pincer movement—that’s how we crab-walk!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Crabby. Crabby who? Crabby and proud of it!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Crustacean. Crustacean who? Crustacean the day, laugh while you can!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hermit. Hermit who? Hermit wasn’t me, it was the crab!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Crab. Crab who? Sorry, I’m a little crab-tivated right now, can I get back to you?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lateral. Lateral who? Lateral thinking is for crabs!
