120+ Dating Jokes & Puns: You'll Adore These Dates

Ready to dive into the world of dating, where the puns are cheesier than a romantic picnic and the jokes are drier than your last Tinder match’s sense of humor? Buckle up, because we’ve compiled the ultimate list of dating puns and jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone. Get ready for some seriously clever wordplay and side-splitting humor, because finding love shouldn’t mean saying goodbye to laughter! Fun fact: Did you know that holding hands can actually reduce stress hormones? So grab your best dating puns, find someone special, and let the laughter flow!

Top Dating Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Guaranteed to Make You LOL

Dating life? More like waiting life.
I joined a dating app for bakers. It’s iced coffee or bust.
My love life is like a fine wine… It’s all sour grapes.
Dating is rough. I just want someone to Netflix & ghost.
Relationship status: Made dinner for two, ate it all myself.
“You’re looking sharp!” – Said no one on a dating app, ever.
Single and ready to mingle? More like single and ready to Pringle.
Dating is a numbers game. Just ask my therapist.
“We should grab coffee sometime” = “Please don’t talk to me.”
My standards for dating are like the limbo: How low can I go?
Trying to find a match on Tinder is like trying to find a decent Wi-Fi signal.
I’m at that age where “dating” means going out to dinner with my cat.
Found my soulmate. Turns out we were both looking for the remote.
Just deleted my dating apps. Turns out I’m allergic to nuts.
“He’s my better half,” I whisper to my pizza.
Dating apps: Where “swipe right for a fairytale” meets “swipe left on reality.”

Funny Dating Jokes With One Liner Clever Dating Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny Dating One-Liner Jokes To Make You LOL

I’m really bad at dating, I keep mixing up “B.C.” and “A.D.” on my profile.
Dating is like archaeology, you never know what you’re gonna dig up… or how old.
My dating life is like a history book… incredibly dated.
I tried writing a book about my dating life… it kept coming back marked “historical fiction.”
My love life is like a museum exhibit on ancient civilizations… dusty and untouched.
My therapist told me to embrace my age on dating apps… now my bio says “Vintage and ready to mingle!”
I’m not saying I’m old, but I remember when Tinder was just a way to start fires.
My ideal date involves a romantic candlelit dinner… in a cave, by the light of our smartphones.
I’m at that age where “Netflix & Chill” actually just means watching Netflix and being cold.
Forget carbon dating, I need a compatibility test that analyzes our streaming service algorithms.
My dating app bio says “I’m looking for someone to grow old with,” but honestly, I’ll settle for someone who remembers what “growing old” used to feel like.
Online dating is like time travel, but instead of meeting Cleopatra, you match with someone who still uses AOL.
My dates always say I’m “not what they expected”… maybe I should update my profile picture from 1998?
I’m convinced my love life is cursed by an ancient artifact… probably my flip phone.
Dating in your 40s is realizing your perfect match is probably someone you already friend-zoned in your 20s.
I joined an over-50s dating site… turns out, “DTF” now stands for “Down To Fika.”

QnA Jokes & Puns about Dating: Ready to Laugh?

Q: Why don’t they allow Carbon Dating in art museums anymore? A: Because it always ends with a security guard yelling, “Those artifacts are NOT your type!”
Q: What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad date? A: A bad golfer goes, “Darn, missed again!” A bad date goes, “Darn, Miss again?”
Q: I met someone online, and they said they work with numbers. What does that mean? A: Could be anything from a cashier to a numerologist. Hope you brought your lucky charm!
Q: Where did the king take the queen on their first date? A: Burger King! It was love at first bite.
Q: Why did the calendar break up with the appointment book? A: It said their relationship lacked dates.
Q: What’s the difference between a relationship and a prune? A: One is a dried-up, shriveled version of something sweet, and the other is a prune.
Q: Heard about the guy who’s terrible at dating? A: He can’t even get a second date on a calendar!
Q: Why are ghosts such bad daters? A: You can tell they’ve got a lot of baggage, but you can never see it.
Q: Did you hear about the restaurant that caters to couples on awkward first dates? A: They have tables six feet apart… OR six inches!
Q: How can you tell if someone is single? A: Don’t worry, they’ll tell you within five minutes of meeting them.
Q: What did the right swipe say to the left swipe? A: “I thought we had something special, but I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”
Q: What do you call a beehive that’s always looking for love? A: A buzzfeed dating app!
Q: My date last night was like a fine wine. A: Really? They got better with age?
Q: I think my date last night was a kleptomaniac. A: Oh no, why? Did they steal your heart? A: No, my wallet!
Q: Dating is a lot like fishing. A: Yep, you spend most of your time casting lines, hoping to reel in something worthwhile. But sometimes you just end up with a boot.

Dad Jokes about Dating: Ready to Cringe?

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So, I took it to the movies. It’s been a while, I figured I’d try dating again.
You know what’s hard about dating as a tree? Finding someone who loves you for your sap.
Why did the calendar go on a date with the calculator? They thought they’d have great chemistry.
I keep all my bad date stories in a jar labeled “Pickles.” Because they’re all dill-lightful!
My son asked me for advice on dating. I told him, “Son, you have to be like a fine wine – aged for several years in my basement.”
Why are ghosts terrible at dating? They’ve got too many boos in their past.
My daughter started dating a guy who’s a mime. He proposed to her the other day, but I haven’t figured out if she said yes yet.
My son’s taking his first girlfriend to prom. I told him to be himself, but also to remember, I’ve seen his dance moves.
I saw a sign that said “Speed Dating for Vegetarians.” Sounded interesting, so I signed up. Turns out it’s just a bunch of people judging how old your produce is.
What do you call a dating app for chickens? “Fowl Tinder.”
You know you’re getting old when going out means checking the expiration date on the milk.
I told my wife, “Let’s have a romantic dinner like we did on our first date!” So we went back to McDonald’s and argued over who got the toy in the Happy Meal.
What do you call a bee’s romantic rendezvous? A honey-moon!
I’m writing a book about all my dating mishaps. It’s called “50 Shades of Beige” because my life’s a bit of a snoozefest sometimes.

Funny Quotes and Captions about Dating: Guaranteed to Make You LOL

Dating is like trying to find a decent Wi-Fi network… You spend most of your time searching, hoping this one isn’t password protected, and praying it doesn’t drop the connection at a crucial moment.
My dating life is like a museum exhibit – fascinating to observe from afar, but nobody wants to touch it.
I don’t need a dating app, I need a clone app. One of me is more than enough for anyone to handle.
I’m at that age where “Netflix and chill” is a legitimate date option, not a euphemism.
Dating is basically just interviewing for a relationship you might not even get hired for. Talk about pressure!
“Swipe right” is the modern equivalent of throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping it sticks. Except with more ghosting.
My love life is like a vintage wine… It’s been in the cellar so long it’s starting to turn to vinegar.
I’m not saying I’m bad at dating, but I did once get stood up by a revolving door. It just kept going around and around…
Dating tip: Always be yourself. Unless you’re a terrible person, then be someone else. Preferably someone fictional and unavailable.
I’m convinced my soulmate is out there somewhere, probably lost in the algorithm of a dating app they’ll never download.
The most challenging part of dating is pretending to be interested in someone’s “passion for craft beer” or “extensive Funko Pop collection.”
I’m a firm believer in love at first sight. It usually takes me about three dates to realize it’s not going to work out.
Just saw someone on a dating app describe themselves as “fluent in sarcasm.” Challenge accepted.
My bank account is basically a dating app for cobwebs. It’s that inactive.
Dating is a lot like baking. You can follow the recipe perfectly, but sometimes it still comes out burnt.

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Dating: For Singles Seeking Laughter and Love

A watched pot never boils, but a watched phone rarely gets a date. (Patience is a virtue, but so is a proactive approach.)
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, unless that basket is on a picnic date and you’re both really hungry. (Diversify your options, unless the situation calls for shared hunger.)
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in online dating. (Being first isn’t everything; sometimes, it’s about learning from others’ mistakes.)
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it swipe right. (You can’t force attraction, no matter how convenient the situation.)
Love is blind, but dating requires at least 20/40 vision. (Ignore red flags at your own peril.)
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, which explains online dating profiles. (Beauty is subjective, especially in the digital age.)
Good things come to those who wait, but a good dating app subscription helps, too. (Patience is important, but sometimes, you need technology on your side.)
Don’t judge a book by its cover, but also, maybe Google your date before meeting them. (Be open-minded, but also practice reasonable caution.)
The course of true love never did run smooth, especially if you met on a dating app during Mercury retrograde. (Relationships have challenges, some potentially self-inflicted.)
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but too much of it makes your profile go dormant. (Maintaining connection is key in the digital age.)
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless those two birds are on a double date and your bird is being weird. (Sometimes, the grass really is greener on the other side.)
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is a meaningful relationship…unless it’s the third date, then you’re practically married. (Building trust and intimacy takes time…or does it?)
Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, but feel free to stalk your date’s Instagram before you meet. (Manage expectations, but gather information strategically.)
Strike while the iron is hot, but make sure your dating profile picture is actually you, from this decade. (Seize the moment, but be authentic.)
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two tequila shots might get you a second date. (Bad decisions rarely lead to good outcomes…except maybe sometimes.)
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I guess I deserve love too? (Learn from your mistakes… or maybe love conquers all?)

Dating Double Entendres Puns: A Relationship You Can Only Have Once

“My dating life is like carbon dating – I mostly deal with old remains.” (Playing on the age of potential partners and unsuccessful relationships).
“Dating is like trying to find a parking spot in a crowded city – frustrating, time-consuming, and you usually end up settling for a spot that’s way too far out.” (Highlighting the difficulties of finding a suitable partner).
“My love life is like a history book – full of dates, but no real connection to the present.” (Playing on the word “date” in both senses).
“I joined a dating app for bakers, but it’s been nothing but missed connections and stale conversations.” (Using “stale” to refer to both bread and conversations).
“My dating app bio says ‘I like long walks on the beach.’ Turns out, so does everyone else, and the beach is getting awfully crowded.” (Sarcastically commenting on cliché dating profiles).
“Online dating is like fishing – you’re casting a wide net, hoping to reel in a keeper, but mostly catching catfish.” (Playing on the term “catfish” in online dating).
“I’m at that age where I’m not looking for a fling, I’m looking for a relationship with a good expiration date.” (Joking about wanting a lasting relationship).
“I thought dating a librarian would be exciting, but it turned out to be quite the shelfish relationship.” (Using “selfish” as a playful pun on “shelf”).
“I went on a date with a clockmaker, but it just wasn’t meant to be. We had no time for each other.” (Playing on the concept of time).
“This dating app uses algorithms to find your perfect match. Apparently, my perfect match is someone who also enjoys overthinking and eating cereal at midnight.” (Sarcastically commenting on the accuracy of dating apps).
“My love life is like a fine wine—it’s constantly aging, but never seems to mature.” (Playing on the aging process of both wine and relationships).
“Dating apps are like supermarkets. So many options, yet I still leave feeling like I should have just ordered takeout.” (Comparing dating app fatigue to the feeling of being overwhelmed at the grocery store).
“I’m not saying I’m desperate for a date, but I’m starting to think my houseplants are judging my life choices.” (Humorously exaggerating the desire for companionship).
“My dating life is a lot like abstract art: difficult to understand, open to interpretation, and probably worth a lot of money to the right person.” (Comparing the abstract nature of dating to art).
“Dating in the digital age is tough. It’s like trying to find a decent restaurant – too many options, too many bad reviews, and you always end up with a stomachache.” (Comparing the difficulties of dating to finding a good restaurant).

Funny Dating Tom Swifties: Swiping Right for Laughter

“I think our relationship needs more spice,” Tom said saucily.
“I met someone intriguing online, but they haven’t revealed their face yet,” Tom said blindly.
“Dating apps are a numbers game,” Tom declared statistically.
“I only date people born under the zodiac sign of the fish,” Tom said Pisces-fully.
“I wish I could find someone interested in medieval history like me,” Tom said archaically.
“I’m going on a date with a beekeeper tomorrow,” Tom said sweetly.
“I’m tired of going on awkward first dates,” Tom said stiffly.
“I’m not sure if this outfit is right for a first date,” Tom said fashionably late.
“I always pay for the first date,” Tom said generously.
“Just friends? I’ve been friend-zoned!” Tom said platonically.
“This is the third blind date this week!” Tom said sightlessly.
“My ex and I are still close,” Tom said amicably.
“My date tonight is a professional wrestler,” Tom said crushingly.
“I’m meeting my date’s parents for the first time,” Tom said nervously.
“I think I just saw my future spouse walk by,” Tom said wistfully.
“I prefer dating apps that prioritize meaningful connections,” Tom said meaningfully.
“Is it too forward to talk about our astrological compatibility on the first date?” Tom said astronomically.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Dating for Singles

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dates. Dates who? Dates me if you’re free this Friday!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up, it’s almost time for our date!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you! Will you go out with me?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howie. Howie who? Howie you doing? Want to go get coffee sometime?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gorilla. Gorilla who? Gorilla me a table for two, I have a hot date tonight.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cereal. Cereal who? Cereal-sly, I think we should start dating.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kenya. Kenya. Kenya believe I got a second date?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca picnic basket, you bring the wine, we’ll go on a date!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Voodoo. Voodoo who? Voodoo me a favor and go on a date with me?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Iona. Iona who? Iona date with you, you seem amazing.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ida. Ida who? Ida like to take you to dinner.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? No need for cash, I’m taking you out on our first date!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Radio. Radio who? Radio not, here I come to pick you up for our date!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water. Water who? Water you doing later? Let’s go on a date!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome, I’m glad you liked our date!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s cold out here! I brought you these flowers for our date.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Amish. Amish who? Amish you were here, I’ve been waiting to ask you on a date!