Fuel Your Laughter with These 135+ Espresso-tising Jokes & Puns!
Looking for a clever pick-me-up? Look no further than these espresso martini puns! We’ve brewed up a list of the best jokes about everyone’s favorite caffeinated cocktail. These jokes are perfect for kids (of legal drinking age, of course) and sure to perk up your funny bone. Get ready to have a latte laughs with this list of espresso martini humor. Warning: you may be buzzing with laughter after reading these puns!
Perk Up Your Cocktail Hour: “Espresso Martini” Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks
- “Why did the coffee lover switch to espresso martinis? Because it gave them a latte more buzz!”
- “I tried to make a DIY espresso martini, but they just ended up being an “espresso-don’t”!”
- “My doctor told me to cut back on caffeine, so now I just drink decaf espresso martinis. They’re still boozy, but with a shot of irony.”
- “I saw a squirrel drinking an espresso martini. Turns out he just needed a little pick-me-nut!”
- “Why did the espresso martini go to therapy? Because it was feeling steamed and frothed!”
- “I ordered an espresso martini, but the bartender accidentally made a cappuccino martini. It was a frothy mistake!”
- “I couldn’t decide between coffee or alcohol, so I had an espresso martini. Now I can have my cake and drink it too!”
- “Just like how an espresso machine needs steam to make coffee, I need an espresso martini to get through the day!”
- “What’s an octopus’s favorite cocktail? An eight-tentacled espresso martini!”
- “My friends said I should try an Irish twist on an espresso martini. I guess you could call it a Mick-kele-accino!”
- “I accidentally spilled my espresso martini all over my white shirt. Now it’s more of a cappuccino-colored shirt.”
- “I asked for an extra shot of espresso in my martini. The bartender gave me a double-barrel martini instead!”
- “I was running late but also needed coffee, so I just grabbed an espresso martini for a “jolt-while-you-bolt”!”
- “Why couldn’t the espresso martini be called a “cold brew martini”? Because that would be too hipster for its own good.”
- “I tried to make a healthy substitute for an espresso martini using almond milk. Let’s just say it was a nutty experiment!”
Pour Some Laughs into Your Next Cocktail with These Funny Espresso Martini One-Liners
- Why did the espresso martini go to therapy? It had a split personality – part espresso, part martini.
- I ordered an espresso martini, but I think the bartender gave me a shot of battery acid instead.
- What’s an espresso martini’s favorite hobby? Stirring up trouble.
- I had an espresso martini for breakfast, because coffee before liquor, never been sicker.
- I tried making an espresso martini at home, but all I got was a shot of regret.
- How does an espresso martini like to unwind? With a frothy bubble bath.
- What’s an espresso martini’s favorite movie genre? Thriller – it gets your heart racing.
- Why was the espresso martini depressed? It couldn’t handle all the pressure.
- I ordered an espresso martini, but all I got was a snobby attitude from the bartender.
- How does an espresso martini like its coffee? With a shot of vodka, of course.
- What do you call an espresso martini with a broken heart? A broken Russian.
- Why did the espresso martini go to the therapist? It was having an identity crisis – is it coffee or is it a cocktail?
- I thought “espresso martini” was Italian for “morning pick-me-up,” but I guess it’s just fancy for “drunk in the morning.”
- The worst part about drinking an espresso martini is realizing you’re just getting more wired, not more drunk.
- Why did the espresso martini go to the wilderness? To find its inner espresso.
Perk up with these QnA Jokes & Puns about Espresso Martinis!
- Q: How does an espresso martini take its coffee? A: With a latte of sass.
- Q: Why didn’t the espresso martini go to the party? A: It was too tired to bean there.
- Q: What’s an espresso martini’s favorite type of music? A: Pop-roast music.
- Q: What did the espresso martini say when it got cold? A: “I’m getting frappé-zed in here!”
- Q: What do you call an espresso martini with a cold? A: A sick shooter.
- Q: Why did the espresso martini break up with its partner? A: It was a toxic bean-tween them.
- Q: What do you call an espresso martini at 2am? A: An after-dark roast.
- Q: Why did the espresso martini get kicked out of the bar? A: It was too espresso-ve for the other drinks.
- Q: How does an espresso martini greet its fellow cocktails? A: “Salu-té!”
- Q: What’s the espresso martini’s favorite type of movie? A: A bean flick.
- Q: What did the espresso martini say to the bartender? A: “I’m feeling a latte better now, thanks.”
- Q: What do you call an espresso martini made with decaf? A: A disappointing shot.
- Q: What did the espresso martini say when it found out it has a caffeine allergy? A: “This is grounds for a lawsuit!”
- Q: How does an espresso martini pick up its dates? A: With a shot of charm and a twist of wit.
Dad Jokes brew up laughs with an Espresso Martini twist
- How does a coffee-loving dad like his cocktails? Shaken, not stirred- primarily because he’s too impatient to wait for it to cool down.
- What do you call a martini made with espresso and Irish cream? A caffeine coma in a glass.
- Why did the espresso martini go to therapy? Because it had a problem with letting go of its past shots.
- Did you hear about the bar that only serves espresso martinis? It’s called “The Buzzed Corner.”
- Why did the dad order an espresso martini instead of a regular one? Because he needed a pick-me-up, and he’s too old for Red Bull.
- What did the dad say when his wife asked if he wanted an espresso martini? “Yes, please. I’m going to need something strong to deal with our kids later.”
- Why did the dad sip his espresso martini so slowly? Because he wanted to make it last longer than his day.
- What do you call an espresso martini that’s been sitting out too long? A frappuccino.
- How does a dad like his espresso martini garnished? With a twist of sarcastic wit.
- Why did the dad stop ordering espresso martinis at restaurants? Because they were always made with “dad-presso” instead.
- Did you hear about the man who only drinks espresso martinis? He was found asleep standing up in his office.
- Why did the espresso martini have trouble making friends? Because it was a bit too espresso-ive.
- What do you call an amateur mixologist’s version of an espresso martini? A failed attempt at adulting.
- How does a dad like his espresso martinis? With a side of “dad dancing.”
- What’s the difference between an espresso martini and regular coffee? The amount of judgment you get from other parents at morning soccer practice.
Espresso Martinis: The Perfect Blend of Humor and Caffeine
- “I like my coffee like I like my men, strong, dark, and full of alcohol – Espresso Martinis, anyone?”
- The best thing about espresso martinis is that they count as both a coffee and a cocktail, talk about multitasking!
- “I only drink espresso martinis on days that end in ‘y’.”
- “Coffee is my spirit animal, but espresso martinis are my wild alter ego.”
- “I prefer my espresso martinis with a twist – a twist of sass, that is.”
- “Who needs a heart attack when you can have an espresso martini?”
- “I don’t always drink coffee, but when I do, I prefer it with vodka.”
- “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’ll have an espresso martini, and one for you too.”
- “Life is too short for bad coffee and weak cocktails.”
- “Forget liquid courage, give me an espresso martini and I’ll conquer the world.”
- “My doctor told me to cut back on caffeine and alcohol. I found a solution – espresso martinis.”
- “A wise person once said, ‘coffee in the morning, cocktails at night’, I just combined the two into an espresso martini.”
- “I’m not addicted to coffee, I just have a strong caffeine dependency… and a love for espresso martinis.”
- “You know what they say, ‘the party don’t start till the espresso martinis come out’.”
- “I’ll take an espresso martini over a pumpkin spice latte any day.”
Brewing up a good laugh with Espresso Martinis
- “A cup of espresso martini a day keeps the grumpiness away, and the party going all night long.”
- “When life gives you lemons, make an espresso martini with a twist.”
- “Coffee may be for closers, but espresso martinis are for winners.”
- “Roses are red, violets are blue, espresso martinis make me forget all about you.”
- “An espresso martini a day keeps the doctor away…and also the sleep.”
- “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy an espresso martini, and that’s pretty much the same thing.”
- “Life is too short for bad coffee, but it’s just the right length of time for an espresso martini.”
- “Coffee is the language of the heart, but espresso martinis are the language of the soul.”
- “Why have a coffee break when you can have an espresso martini break?”
- “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, and that includes espresso martinis.”
- “Good things come to those who wait, but great things come to those who order an espresso martini.”
- “A hangover is just a reminder of all the fun you had drinking espresso martinis last night.”
- “No one can please everyone, but an espresso martini can please anyone.”
- “Inhale caffeine, exhale espresso martinis.”
- “Life is like an espresso martini, bitter and sweet at the same time, but always worth it in the end.”
Brew up some laughs with Espresso Martini double whammy puns!
- “I like my espresso like I like my men – strong and served with a twist.”
- “My favorite type of espresso? The dirty kind.”
- “You know what they say – an espresso a day keeps the grumpy away.”
- “I don’t need a prince charming, just an espresso martini.”
- “Some like it hot, I prefer my espresso martini cold and strong.”
- “I’ll never give up my latte, but an espresso martini is the perfect side piece.”
- “Forget the sugar, an espresso martini is all the sweetness I need.”
- “Who needs therapy when you can have an espresso martini?”
- “An espresso martini a day keeps the bad decisions away.”
- “I may have a caffeine addiction, but at least it’s socially acceptable in the form of an espresso martini.”
- “Espresso yourself – with a twist of vodka and a splash of coffee liqueur.”
- “The only type of shot I’m taking tonight is an espresso martini.”
- “I like my coffee like I like my men – tall, dark, and strong in the morning.”
- “Don’t worry, I’ll have an espresso martini for breakfast – I’m just getting ahead of the game.”
- “My doctor said I should cut back on caffeine, so I switched to decaf espresso martinis.”
Espresso and Wit: Recursive Puns about Espresso Martini
- Why did the espresso martini go back to college? Because it wanted to pursue a higher degree of buzz-ness.
- How does an espresso martini get to work every day? It takes the buzz-y train.
- What did the espresso martini say to the bartender? “I’ll have a shot of espresso, but make it a martini.”
- Why did the espresso martini refuse to go skydiving? It didn’t want its buzz to drop.
- How does an espresso martini take its coffee? By the shot.
- What did the bartender say when the espresso martini walked in? “Looks like someone needs a perk-me-up.”
- Why did the coffee bean feel left out of the espresso martini? Because it wasn’t part of the buzz.
- How does an espresso martini handle a breakup? It shakes it off and finds a new buzz.
- What did the espresso martini say when someone asked if it was strong? “I can handle a double shot.”
- Why did the espresso martini go on a road trip? It wanted to experience different types of buzz-zones.
- What did the espresso martini whisper to the coffee liqueur? “You complete me.”
- Why was the espresso martini nervous before a first date? It didn’t want to make a bad first impression-ino.
- How does an espresso martini stay balanced? It keeps its caffeine levels in check.
- What did the espresso martini say when it heard someone order a decaf coffee? “What’s the point?”
- Why did the espresso martini join a cycling club? It wanted to get its daily dose of buzz-cycling.
Espresso Martini: A Swift Kick of Caffeine and Alcohol” Tom Swifties
- “I can’t believe how quickly this espresso martini is making me bounce,” Tom said spiritedly.
- “I’ll have another espresso martini, please,” Tom ordered perkily.
- “This espresso martini is really giving me a jolt,” Tom exclaimed energetically.
- “I’m feeling so buzzed from this espresso martini, I might start a dance craze!” Tom declared enthusiastically.
- “I’m getting a double shot of caffeine and fun from this espresso martini,” Tom remarked contentedly.
- “I just can’t espresso how much I love this drink,” Tom quipped playfully.
- “I think I’ll make this espresso martini my new morning pick-me-up,” Tom suggested brightly.
- “I’ll have an espresso martini on the rocks, please,” Tom ordered coolly.
- “I’m starting to feel like a superhero after drinking this espresso martini,” Tom exclaimed heroically.
- “I’m loving the buzz from this espresso martini, it’s giving me a whole new latte-tude,” Tom chuckled.
- “I’ll have my espresso martini shaken, not stirred,” Tom said suavely.
- “I’m sorry, but I’m pretty sure this espresso martini is better than your cappuccino,” Tom teased playfully.
- “After drinking this espresso martini, I’ve got enough energy to run a marathon!” Tom boasted boisterously.
- “I’ll take one espresso martini, extra shot of humor,” Tom said with a smirk.
Knock-knock, who’s there? Another espresso martini joke.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Espresso. Espresso who? Espresso Martini, it’s the drink that’s got me buzzin’!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Martini. Martini who? Martini your way over here and let’s have an espresso!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Beans. Beans who? Not just any beans, but espresso beans for my martini!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Brew. Brew who? Brew me an espresso martini, please.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Barista. Barista who? Barista pour me an espresso martini, would ya?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Caffeine. Caffeine who? Caffeine’t live without my espresso martini!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mocha. Mocha who? Mocha-believe how much I love my espresso martinis!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shaken. Shaken who? Shaken, not stirred, my espresso martini.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Java. Java who? Java little sip of my espresso martini, won’t ya?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bean me up. Bean me up who? Bean me up an espresso martini, Scotty!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Roast. Roast who? Roast me an espresso martini, please.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frappe. Frappe who? Frappe your hands together for an espresso martini!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kahlua. Kahlua who? Kahlua-lujah, it’s time for an espresso martini!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shot. Shot who? Shots of espresso in my martini, please!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mint. Mint who? Mint to be that I love my espresso martinis!
Caffeinate Your Sense of Humor: Espresso Puns
Well, that’s a wrap folks! I hope these espresso martini puns and jokes have given you a good laugh and a caffeine boost to get through the day. Don’t forget to check out our other posts for more witty wordplay and hilarious humor. Now go forth and enjoy your coffee cocktails with a side of laughter! Cheers to that!