120+ Fence Jokes & Puns: You're Getting My Goat!

Get ready to laugh your planks off because we’ve got the best fence jokes this side of the picket line! This list of puns and humorous quips is positively bursting with clever wordplay that’s sure to have you grinning. Did you know the world’s longest fence is in Australia? Well, it must be quite the sight to see, unlike these jokes, which are all about sound! Get ready to enjoy some fencing humor…sword you’d like it!

Top Fence Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: You’re Sure to Get a Kick Out of These

What did the fence say to the gardener? Lettuce be friends!
What’s a fence’s favorite TV show? Game of Thrones.
The fence company went bankrupt. They ran out of board members.
Did you hear about the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine? It wooden go, so they built a fence around it!
I tried to explain to my neighbor his fence was too high. But it went right over his head.
Why are fences so nosy? They’re always peeking over!
What do you get when a fence wins an award? A trophy-cal fence!
Just met a carpenter who makes fences… He seems board.
Fence building is easy. It’s all just post to post!
Who’s in charge around here? I picket!
Never argue with a fence. They always have a pointed reply.
Fences are like good neighbors: Good fences make ’em!
You know what they say… Fence now or forever hold your piece.

Funny Fence Jokes With One Liner Clever Fence Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny Fence One-Liner Jokes That Will Crack You Up

I tried to explain to the fence why it was wrong, but it just wouldn’t listen – guess it’s set in its ways.
My neighbor’s building a fence with recycled materials; he calls it his “re-fence-ment” plan.
Did you hear about the fence that won an award? It was outstanding in its field.
I used to be a fence installer, but it was hard to get ahead in that business.
A fence walked into a bar and the bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.” The fence replied, “Why not? I’m board!”
The fence refused to move an inch, claiming it had strong beliefs. It was very picket-y.
I met a carpenter who could build a fence so tight even water couldn’t get through. He really wood-n’t let me down.
Someone keeps stealing parts of my fence. The police are looking into it, but they haven’t found any leads.
Why shouldn’t you tell secrets near a fence? Because the posts have ears and the hedges have eyes!
I wanted to hire a handyman to fix my fence, but they were all booked. Guess I’ll just have to wing it.
The fence salesman was very persuasive. I’m starting to see his point of view.
What’s a fence’s favorite dance move? The electric slide!
I tried to return a broken fence to the store, but they said they couldn’t take it back. No returns on wooden stakes, apparently.
My neighbor put up an electric fence, but it’s not working. Guess that’s what you get for buying a shocking deal.
The fence was arrested for assault. Seems it was caught holding someone’s property hostage.
What did the fence say to the gardener? “Lettuce be friends!”

QnA Jokes & Puns about Fence: Guaranteed to Make You LOL

Q: Why did the gardener plant a fence around his vegetable patch? A: He wanted to raise some stakes!
Q: What’s a fence’s favorite game? A: Tag! (They’re always it!)
Q: What’s a fence’s favorite sport? A: Fencing! (Well, duh!)
Q: You know what they say about people who build fences? A: They’re always trying to keep up with the Joneses…literally!
Q: My neighbor keeps trying to sell me his old fence. What’s the catch? A: Probably a loose board or two!
Q: What’s a fence’s favorite dance? A: The Electric Slide! (They love a good current!)
Q: Why was the fence feeling under the weather? A: It was coming down with a bad case of the posts!
Q: The fence builder lost his job. How’s he coping? A: He’s picking up the pieces… of wood, that is.
Q: What do you get if you cross a fence with a trampoline? A: I don’t know, but you’d definitely spring over it!
Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo who escapes the zoo? A: A pouch potato on the fence about coming back!
Q: Why do fences make great neighbors? A: They’re always there to lend a post!
Q: What’s a fence’s favorite musical? A: Anything with good board-way tunes!
Q: My neighbor’s putting up a solid concrete fence. What does that say about him? A: He’s really serious about his pri-vacy!
Q: Heard about the fence that went to art school? A: Now it’s a real post-impressionist!
Q: What do you call a ghost hanging out by a fence? A: Fence-tom! (Get it? Phantom!)

Dad Jokes about Fence: Ready to be fenced in by laughter?

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants when he played golf? In case he got a hole-in-fence!
Why don’t they have fences in math class? Because you can’t divide them!
I tried to come up with a good fence pun… but it’s been done before.
Heard about the actor who walked into a fence? It was a stage they were going through.
What did the fence say to the baseball? Catch ya later!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of fence? A yarrrrd-arm fence!
Why is it so hard to trust atoms? Because they make up everything, even fences!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his fence!
Did you hear about the fence that got arrested? It was charged with battery!
You know what they say about fences… The grass is always greener on the other side, but you still need a gate to visit!
I finally got around to fixing that hole in the fence… Turns out, it was holding the whole thing up! Who knew?
What’s the most important part of a medieval fence? The moat it can about!
What’s a boxer’s favorite type of fence? A one-two punch-ion fence!
What did the fence say to the gardener? Lettuce be friends!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Fence: For Post-Hole Humor

“My neighbor just got a new fence. I guess you could say things are getting pretty board between us.”
“I tried to have a serious conversation with my fence, but it just kept going postponing it.”
“Life is like a fence: full of pickets and sometimes you get board.”
“Just saw a ghost trying to walk through a fence. Guess you could say it didn’t a-fence him.”
“My love life is like a chain-link fence: See-through and constantly getting climbed over.”
“I’m not saying my fence is nosy, but it knows all the neighborhood gossip.”
“Feeling fenced in? Maybe you need a vacation – or a really good ladder.”
“Dating tip: If they say they’re a “fence sitter” – RUN.”
“My therapist told me to set boundaries. So I built a fence. Problem solved.”
“The grass is always greener on the other side…until you realize they have a really good fence.”
“Just saw a dog sitting on a fence looking really confused. Guess you could say he was on the fence about something.”
“I tried to explain to my dog that the fence was there for his protection, not to imprison him. He just gave me a ruff look.”
“Sure, fences may make good neighbors, but have you tried freshly baked cookies? Game changer.”
“Haters gonna hate, fences gonna fence. That’s what they do.”

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Fence: Good Neighbors Make Good Fences

A fence mended is worth two in the bush. (Unless you’re a rabbit, then it’s just a hassle.)
Good fences make good neighbors, especially if they can’t see your gnome collection.
He who hesitates is lost… behind a very tall fence, probably.
Don’t fence me in, unless you’ve got snacks. Then, by all means, fence away.
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence… because they probably have a better sprinkler system.
A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush… unless you’re building a fence around the bush.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him fix your broken fence.
Don’t count your chickens before they’ve built a fence. (Those escape artists!)
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and less likely to fall asleep while painting his fence.
A stitch in time saves nine, unless you’re patching a fence, then you’ll probably need at least twenty.
Many hands make light work, especially when it comes to carrying fence posts. (They’re heavy!)
If at first, you don’t succeed, try using a stronger hammer to fix that fence.
The pen is mightier than the sword, but a good fence is mightier than a nosy neighbor.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, but they probably wished they had a fence up while it was under construction.
Where there’s a will, there’s a way… to climb over that fence. (We don’t condone trespassing, though.)
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, unless that basket is behind a very secure fence.
Life is like a box of chocolates; A fence around it keeps your fingers away from the ones you don’t like.

Fence Double Entendres Puns That Will Leave You Hanging

That lawyer is such a good fence, criminals hire him just to sit on their case. (Playing on “fence” as a barrier and “fence” meaning someone who buys and sells stolen goods)
The picket fence told the chain link fence, “You’re looking a little rusty there, friend. Feeling wired? (Playing on the physical characteristics of the fences and “wired” as in nervous)
I tried to have a philosophical debate with a fence. Turns out, it had very rigid views. (Playing on the immobility of a fence and inflexible opinions)
The fence was arrested for assault. Apparently, it got into a heated argument and pushed its luck. (Playing on the idea of a fence pushing and the idiom “push your luck”)
The fence builder was so successful; he was always on the board of directors. (Playing on the use of wood for fences and being on a board of directors)
I tried to explain to the fence why it couldn’t join the orchestra. It just wouldn’t listen to reason. (Playing on the fence not having ears and “listening to reason” meaning being logical)
The fence claimed it was innocent of the crime. Said it had been framed. (Playing on the construction of a fence and being falsely accused)
The fence was feeling very emotional. It even had a good cry-wall. (Playing on a wall being part of a fence and a play on “cry wall” as a place to express sadness)
Being a fence painter is a tough job. You’re always walking a fine line. (Playing on painting the line of a fence and the idiom “walking a fine line”)
That fence is so full of itself. It’s always bragging about its impressive post-code. (Playing on the posts of a fence and a postal code)
The detective asked the fence if it had seen anything suspicious. It replied, “I picket!” (Playing on a type of fence and “I picked it” as a choice)
That fence is a real gossip. Always spreading rumors through the grapevine. (Playing on plants growing on a fence and the idiom “heard it through the grapevine”)
The fence was feeling very insecure, so it joined a support group. (Playing on the need for support to hold up a fence and a group that provides emotional support)
I tried to explain my problems to the fence, but it just kept saying, “I’m here for you, pal-ing.” (Playing on a type of fence and “paling” sounding like “pal-ing”)
Life is like a fence. You gotta take the good with the bad, the posts with the holes. (Playing on the physical components of a fence and life’s ups and downs).

Funny Fence Tom Swifties: With Picket-y Precision

“That fence needs another coat of paint,” Tom said boardly.
“I’m thinking of becoming a fencer,” Tom said pointedly.
“This fence is surprisingly springy!” Tom exclaimed bouncily.
“I wonder who built this crooked fence?” Tom asked wryly.
“This fence is quite the barrier,” Tom stated divisively.
“My neighbor keeps stealing my tools over the fence!” Tom declared crossly.
“I finally finished painting the fence!” Tom announced brushingly.
“This electric fence really packs a punch!” Tom said shockingly.
“I’m going to sit on the fence and watch the sunset,” Tom said decidedly… or not.
“I can’t believe they made this fence out of recycled plastic!” Tom said composedly.
“I think I got a splinter from that fence,” Tom remarked sharply.
“The horses escaped through a gap in the fence,” Tom neighed nervously.
“This fence is starting to lean a little,” Tom said lopsidedly.
“I climbed over the fence to get a better view,” Tom said grandstandingly.
“This fence is starting to rust,” Tom said corrosively.
“We need to reinforce this fence with more posts,” Tom stated concretely.
“This fence is really tall!” Tom said highly.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Fence for Laugh-Out-Loud Fun

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fence. Fence who? Fence you’ve been gone, I can finally breathe!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fence. Fence who? Fence it till you make it!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fence. Fence who? Fence me in, tell me I’m your prisoner of love!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fence. Fence who? Fence we met, I’ve been thinking about painting you.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fence. Fence who? Fence you asked, do you think I need repairs?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fence. Fence who? Fence the cat’s away, the mice will play on me.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fence. Fence who? Fence-tastic to see you again!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fence. Fence who? Fence I’m wooden, doesn’t mean I can’t have feelings!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fence. Fence who? Fence you can’t climb over me, how about a friendly chat instead?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fence. Fence who? Fence I’m here, do you want to talk about what happened?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fence. Fence who? Fence-ful thinking won’t get you past me, only the password will.