100+ Fish Jokes & Puns: You're Gonna Flounder For These!

Get ready to dive into the best list of fish jokes and puns this side of the Mississippi (river, not the fish, because fish can’t breathe air – fun fact!). If you’re looking for a laugh that’s fin-tastic and clever, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve got puns so bad, they’re good, and humor so funny, it’s krilling us! So grab your tackle box of positive vibes and get ready to cast your net for some seriously hilarious fish jokes!

Top Fish Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Hooked on Humor

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
Fish are so easy to weigh… They come with their own scales!
Are you feeling salty? Because I’m totally hooked on you.
Two fish in a tank, one turns to the other and says… “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
What’s a fish’s favorite TV show? Name that tuna!
Why are fish so smart? They live in schools!
Never trust atoms. They make up everything, even fish!
Where do sick fish go? To the doc-tortoise!
Why don’t fish play basketball? They’re afraid of the net!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot… wait, that’s not right.
Why are fish so wealthy? Because they have schools and schools of cash!
What do you call a messy crayfish’s home? A slobster-pot!
My friend keeps telling me to go on a fishing trip. I’m so tempted to bait him.

Funny Fish Jokes With One Liner Clever Fish Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny Fish One-Liner Jokes – Reel-y Good Humor

I’m starting to think my goldfish isn’t very bright; I keep asking him what his favorite Led Zeppelin song is, and he just stares at me blankly.
My friend tried to tell me piranhas make great motivational speakers… I told him to sleep on it.
Dating a mermaid is great, but I have to say, the relationship is on the rocks.
Just saw a fish couple arguing in their tank, guess you could say they’re having a whale of a fight.
I went fishing with a mime the other day… he was really good at reeling it in.
If you’re ever feeling lost in life, just remember what Dory always says: “Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.”
I went to a seafood disco last night… I pulled a mussel!
Did you hear about the fish who dropped out of school? He just wasn’t schooled.
My friend keeps telling me to try ice fishing. Sounds like a load of carp to me.
What do you call a messy crayfish’s home? A slobster’s shack!
Why don’t they play poker in the ocean? Too many sharks.
You know what really ticks me off? People who use the word “fush” instead of “fish”.
Why did the ocean get in trouble at school? It was being naughti-cal.
What’s the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish… unless you’re making a sandwich!
A fish walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “Hey! We got a drink named after you!” The fish replies, “What? You have a drink called ‘Kevin’?”

QnA Jokes & Puns about Fish: Fin-tastic Laughs Guaranteed

Q: Why do fish live in salt water? A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh!
Q: How do you tuna fish? A: You adjust its scales!
Q: What kind of music do angler fish listen to? A: Anything they can get their gills on!
Q: Why are fish so easy to weigh? A: Because they have their own scales!
Q: What’s the difference between a fish and a piano? A: You can’t tuna fish!
Q: Why didn’t the fish win any awards? A: He was below average – sea level.
Q: What does a magic fish say? A: Salmon says!
Q: What do you call a fish with two knees? A: A two-knee fish! (Get it? It sounds like tuna fish!)
Q: Why are fish so smart? A: They live in schools!
Q: How do you make a fish giggle? A: Tell it a gill-ickle!
Q: Why did the fish blush? A: Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
Q: What do fish take to stay healthy? A: Vitamin Sea!
Q: Why don’t fish play basketball? A: They’re afraid of the net!
Q: Where do sick fish go? A: To the doc-tortoise!
Q: What do you get from a bad-tempered fish? A: A crabby patty!

Dad Jokes about Fish: Reel-y Funny Stuff

What do you call a fish that’s always wearing a suit? Sophishticated.
Why did the fish get fired from his job at the bank? He kept withdrawing too much.
My wife told me to take the spider web down instead of just fishing out the flies. I told her it was a time-saving net.
I wanted to impress my date at the aquarium, so I told her I could speak whale. She said, “That’s amazing! What does ‘fish’ sound like in whale?” I just gave her a blank stare.
Why don’t fish play poker in the ocean? Too many sharks.
You know, I went fishing the other day… and I caught a singing bass. Turns out, it was just a red herring.
Why don’t they allow fishing in the desert? Because the fish get sand in their gills!
Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says “How do you drive this thing?”
I’m starting a new job reviewing fish sticks. They told me I’d really get schooled there.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! Wait… what were we talking about?
If you’re ever feeling down just remember… fish have schools too.
Where do fish sleep? In the riverbed! Get it? Like a bed… but… oh never mind.
Why are fish so strong? Have you ever tried opening a can of tuna?
Hey son, did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good, but it had no atmosphere.

Funny Quotes and Captions about Fish: Reely Good Hooks

“Started dating a fish. It’s going swimmingly, but I think my friends smell something fishy.” 🐟
“Just bought an aquarium… on credit. Now I’m in debt over my head.” 🐠
“My love life is like a betta fish… I can only handle one at a time.” 💕🐠
“You know what really sucks about ice fishing? The conversations.” 🥶🎣
“I’m not saying my fishing rod is lucky, but it’s never seen a fish come back alive.” 😉🎣
“What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!” 😂 (Because it can’t C)
“Pretty sure my goldfish is judging my interior design choices.” 👀🐠
“Life is like a fish fry… you gotta eat the small fry to get to the big ones.” 😎🍗 (Please don’t actually eat baby fish.)
“What do you call it when a fish hits a wall? A carpe diem!” 🐟💥
“Just met a fish who could talk. He told me to leave him alone or he’d scale back our conversations.” 😒🗣️🐠
“You know you’re addicted to fishing when you start naming your worms.” 🪱🎣
“A romantic dinner for fish? I’m thinking low lighting and something bottom-feeder friendly.” ✨🕯️🐠
“Walleye, what a wonderful name for a fish. It sounds like a greeting from the happiest fish in the sea.” 👋🥳🐟
“Just took my bass on a date to the river. Things got a little awkward when we ran into his ex.” 😳🎣
“What’s the most romantic fish in the sea? The one who brings you oysters, duh.” 😉🦪🐠
“If at first you don’t succeed… try using a different fly. Fish can be picky eaters.” 🎣🪰

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Fish: With a Splash of Humor

Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll spend all his money on boats and tackle.
The early bird gets the worm. The early fish gets the… well, also worms.
Don’t judge a fish by its scales, but by the size of the splash it makes.
You can lead a fish to water, but you can’t make it do your taxes.
Silence is golden. Especially when you’re waiting for a fish to bite.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two fish make a decent appetizer.
A watched pot never boils, and a watched fishing rod never catches anything but seaweed.
If at first you don’t succeed, try fishing with a bigger worm. Or just order sushi.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single cast (and a boatload of patience).
Don’t cry over spilled milk. Cry over escaped fish and you might catch something.
Good things come to those who bait. And sometimes to those with really big nets.
You can’t make a fish soup without… well, you know the rest. But seriously, you need vegetables too.
Life is like a box of fishing lures. You never know what you’re gonna get, but you hope it’s shiny and attracts something big.
All that glitters is not gold. Sometimes it’s just a lure with glitter glue on it.
A bad day of fishing is still better than a good day at work. Unless your work involves explosions, then maybe stick with the fish.

Fish Double Entendres Puns: Swimming in Wordplay

I went on a date at the aquarium; I think I’m hooked. (Interested in the person or literally caught on a hook?)
My friend asked if I wanted to go ice fishing, but I told him I was all fished out. (Tired from fishing or done with the activity altogether?)
This sushi restaurant is so popular, they have to constantly restock their salmon. I guess you could say they really rake it in! (Making money or collecting fish with a rake?)
I told my wife she dresses like a mermaid. She said, “Darling, are you fishing for compliments?” I said, “You bet your sweet gills I am!” (Seeking compliments or literally betting fish body parts?)
My therapist told me to picture my happy place. So naturally, I went fishing in my mind. (Imagining relaxation or fishing with thoughts?)
I was feeling salty because my friend out-fished me, but I got over it. No use crying over spilled milk…or escaped fish. (Upset or referring to a literal escape?)
I’m starting a band called “The Bottom Feeders.” We’re looking for a drummer…someone who can really keep a beat. (Musicians or literal bottom-dwelling fish?)
I’m so broke, I can barely afford to pay attention, let alone buy a fishing rod. (Lacking money or physically unable to focus?)
Just met a girl. She seems like a real catch. (Desirable person or a successful fishing trip?)
This tuna sandwich is terrible! I think I’ll go for something a little more upscale…like fish and chips. (Wanting better food or literally wanting fish higher up?)
I’m starting to think this whole “fish whisperer” thing is a load of carp. (Nonsense or a type of fish?)
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind… just like a referee who doesn’t see those obvious fishing fouls! (Lacking eyesight or referring to unfair play?)
I should have known something was fishy when the pet store offered a “buy one, get one free” deal on piranhas! (Suspicious or a deal that’s too good to be true?)

Funny Fish Tom Swifties: Fin-tastic Jokes for Every Occasion

“That’s the last time I ask for fishing tips from a pelican,” Tom said superfishally.
“I think my goldfish is getting lonely,” Tom said tankfully.
“This salmon is cooked to perfection!” Tom said gillfully.
“I can’t believe you caught that huge catfish,” Tom said bassically.
“I just bought myself an aquarium,” Tom said fin-tastically.
“I’m going to need a bigger net,” Tom said scalefully.
“This cod is a little dry,” Tom said sharkly.
“I think that clownfish is flirting with me,” Tom said coral-ly.
“Be careful with that fishing rod,” Tom exclaimed pole-litely.
“Did you see that fish jump?” Tom said carp-efully.
“This sushi is delicious,” Tom said raw-thlessly.
“Sorry, I can’t go fishing today, I have a cold,” Tom said koi-ly.
“I think we should release this fish,” Tom said free-ly.
“This clam chowder is amazing,” Tom said mussel-ly.
“My tropical fish just had babies!” Tom said guppy-ly.
“Let’s go ice fishing!” Tom said cold-ly.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Fish: Fin-tastic Fun for All Ages

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? Long time, no sea!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? Fish you a very happy birthday!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? Bless you, you must have a cod!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? You’re fin-tastic!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? Just hanging out, gill-axing.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? Sorry, I’m a little shellfish today.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? We whaley need to catch up sometime!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? I’m feeling fintastic, how are you?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? I’m feeling a little crabby today, I need more sleep.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? Let’s get hooked on some fun.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? Don’t be koi.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? Don’t be sad, it’s not the end of the world…just the end of the pier.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fish. Fish who? Wow, you really look fintastic today!