Score Big Laughs with These 230+ Hilarious Football Jokes & Puns

funny Football jokes with one liner clever Football puns at PunnyFunny.com

Are you ready to score some laughs? Look no further because we’ve got the best kicker of humor for you – puns about football! Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just trying to kick back with some jokes, this list of clever and positive puns is sure to bring a smile to your face. Get ready to tackle these funny jokes, perfect for kids and adults alike. So put on your cleats and get ready to enjoy some hilarious football puns.

Kick Off Your Laugh Meter with Our Top ‘Football’ Puns & Jokes Editor’s Picks!

  1. How do football players stay cool during a game? They have lots of fans!
  2. I used to play football, but I kept getting offside.
  3. Why was the football coach angry? He couldn’t get a quarterback!
  4. Why did the football game go to overtime? Because it was tired of being tied!
  5. How do football players make sure they have a well-balanced diet? They always have a balanced line.
  6. Did you hear about the football team with a magician as their coach? They always have a few trick plays up their sleeve.
  7. I tried to make a pun about punting in football, but it just didn’t have the same kick.
  8. What did the football player say when he dropped the ball? “I’m just not catching on today.”
  9. Why did the football team visit the bank? To get some quarterback!
  10. How does a football player show love? They go for the extra point.
  11. What did the coach say to the football player who kept dropping the ball? “You’re killing me, Smalls!”
  12. Why did the quarterback turn into a pirate? Because he had a peg leg!
  13. How does a football team keep their field clean? They use a gridiron.
  14. What kind of lights do football players install in their homes? Touchdown lights.
  15. Why did the football player bring string to the game? In case he needed a yard.
  16. What do you call a football playing dinosaur? A gridiron T-Rex.
  17. How does a football team stay cool during a hot game? They have a lot of cool downs.
  18. What did the football player wear on his head while playing in the rain? A water receiver.
  19. Why did the football team take a trip to the cemetery? To pay their final respects to their fallen tackles.
  20. Did you hear about the deer that joined the football team? It was a real game-changer.

Kick Off a Good Laugh with These Hilarious ‘Funny Football’ One-Liner Jokes!

  1. Why was the football coach angry? Because his players were always crossing the line!
  2. What does a football coach and a magician have in common? They both rely on their tricks to win the game.
  3. Why do ghosts or zombies make excellent football players? Because they’re always ready to go for the tackle!
  4. What do you call a footballer who never gives up? A persistent striker!
  5. Why did the footballer bring string to the game? In case he needed to tie the score!
  6. Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback!
  7. How many footballers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they’ll just keep flicking the switch until they score a goal.
  8. What did the football say to the soccer ball? You’re such a rounder!
  9. Why was the referee always cold? Because he always had a yellow card!
  10. What did the running back say when he reached the end zone? I’m running out of space here!
  11. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it, just like a football player!
  12. What did the quarterback say to his math teacher? I always count in 7’s because that’s how many points we get for a touchdown!
  13. Why do football players always carry an extra pair of underwear? In case they get sacked!
  14. Why did the football coach go to therapy? To work on his defense mechanism.
  15. How do you spice up a boring football game? Add some paprika to the potato chips!
  16. What do you call a player who fakes an injury for sympathy? A drama queen!
  17. Why was the football player always out of breath? He kept chasing his dreams!
  18. Why did the football coach tell his players to run laps on a roller coaster? To build up their ups and downs!
  19. What do you call a football player who wears glasses? A wide receiver!
  20. Why was the football game delayed? Because one of the players tried to tackle the mascot thinking they were on the other team!

Kick Off Your Laughter with QnA Jokes & Puns about Football!

  1. Q: Why was the football coach always sleepy? A: Because he was always tackling his problems in his dreams.
  2. Q: What’s a football player’s favorite type of music? A: Tackle and roll!
  3. Q: Why did the football coach go to the bank? A: He wanted to get his quarterback!
  4. Q: What did the football say to the goalpost? A: I get a kick out of you!
  5. Q: How do football players stay cool during a game? A: They stand next to their fans!
  6. Q: Why do football players make great astronauts? A: Because they’re always ready for liftoff!
  7. Q: What did the football coach say to the vegetable tray? A: Lettuce play ball!
  8. Q: Why couldn’t the football team take pictures? A: Because they lost all their negatives!
  9. Q: Why did the football player quit the team? A: He kept going offside!
  10. Q: What did the football player say when he scored a touchdown? A: I’m on cloud nine!
  11. Q: Why was the quarterback always cold? A: Because he kept getting sacked!
  12. Q: What did the football player do when he lost his shoe? A: He called a timeout!
  13. Q: Why did the football coach go to the doctor? A: Because he had a severe case of pigskin!
  14. Q: Why was the football game cancelled? A: Too many false starts!
  15. Q: How do you make a quarterback laugh? A: Give him a tight-end!
  16. Q: What do you call a group of football players in a hot tub? A: The Jacuzzi Jocks.
  17. Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite position on the football team? A: The wide receiver!
  18. Q: Why do football players make great chefs? A: They know how to handle their tackles!
  19. Q: What did the football coach say to his clock? A: You’re ticking me off!
  20. Q: Why was the football team afraid of the thunderstorm? A: They thought it might be a passing game!

Kick Up the Laughs with These Hilarious Dad Jokes about Football!

  1. What kind of football player makes the best doctor? A quarterback-surgeon!
  2. Why couldn’t the football attend the concert? Because it was a no-tackle event!
  3. How does a football team stay cool during a game? By running around in the shade of the goal posts!
  4. Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback change!
  5. What do you call a football player who sells potato chips? A Chip Hurdler!
  6. Why did the football player go to outer space? To score a touchdown on a different planet!
  7. What do you call a foot that plays football? Athlete’s foot!
  8. Why did the football team always eat cereal before games? Because it’s the breakfast of winners!
  9. What did the football say when it had to make a tough decision? “I’m just going to wing it!”
  10. Why don’t football players make good bus drivers? Because they’re always passing instead of taking the bus!
  11. What’s a football player’s favorite type of trip? A field goal-cation!
  12. How does a football team prepare for a storm? They make sure they have a good offense and defense!
  13. Why couldn’t the football player eat before the game? Because he already had his fill-ings!
  14. What’s a football player’s favorite holiday? Tackle-giving!
  15. Why did the football coach go to the dentist? To get a game plan!
  16. What do you call a sleeping defensive line? A snooze-tackle!
  17. Why couldn’t the football team win any games? Because they kept throwing Hail Marys instead of passes!
  18. What did the football player say when he got a job at the bank? “I finally have some good coverage!”
  19. Why is a football field the happiest place on earth? Because it’s full of touchdowns and goal-post-ive vibes!
  20. Why did the football player go to the art museum? To brush up on his passing skills!

Kick back and laugh with these hilarious football quotes!

  1. “Football is like a good joke, it’s all about the kick.”
  2. “In football, anything is possible except for scoring against your own team. That’s just called own-goal-ing.”
  3. “Soccer players are like acrobats, except they’re constantly falling for no reason.”
  4. “I didn’t choose the football life, the football life chose me. And honestly, I don’t regret it.”
  5. “They say football is a game of inches, but so is a stomach after gameday snacks.”
  6. “Being a football fan is like being in a relationship with a constantly disappointing partner, yet we keep coming back for more.”
  7. “The only thing more unpredictable than my cat’s behavior is a football match.”
  8. “Messi may be a magician on the field, but I’m still waiting for him to make my laundry disappear.”
  9. “They say football brings people together, but I’ve never seen so much anger and aggression in one place.”
  10. “If arguing with the ref was an Olympic sport, football players would dominate gold every time.”
  11. “Football fans have a way of turning into toddlers when their team loses. Temper tantrums and all.”
  12. “Watching football with my family is like being in a war zone, except without the bombs and bullets.”
  13. “Football is just a fancy word for organized chaos.”
  14. “I don’t always understand the offside rule, but I do know a good cheese dip when I see one.”
  15. “I may not believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in goal at first sight.”
  16. “Football would be even better if they replaced those yellow and red cards with party balloons and confetti.”
  17. “I may not be a professional athlete, but I am an expert at couch commentary during football games.”
  18. “I’ve never met a football player who didn’t have at least one superstition. Must be something in their socks.”
  19. “I can’t decide what’s more impressive, a perfect touchdown or a perfect bowl of chili during a game.”
  20. “Football has taught me two important life skills: patience and how to consume an entire pizza by myself in one sitting.”

Score a Laugh with These Hilarious Football Proverbs & Wise Sayings

  1. “A bad referee can ruin a good game, but a good beer can make it all better.”
  2. “Football: where a group of grown men chase a ball and thousands of people lose their minds.”
  3. “The only thing more intimidating than a linebacker is walking into the women’s restroom wearing a rival team’s jersey.”
  4. “Football is a lot like life; you have to get knocked down a few times before you learn to avoid the big hits.”
  5. “They say football is a game of inches, but my beer belly disagrees.”
  6. “A true fan will stick by their team through thick and thin, beer in hand.”
  7. “A referee’s whistle is just a fancy way of saying, ‘time out for chaos’.”
  8. “A football coach is like a shepherd; he leads his flock to victory or slaughter.”
  9. “If the game of football was easy, it would be called sportsball.”
  10. “In football, the quarterback gets all the glory and the lineman gets all the bruises.”
  11. “A true fan never leaves early; they stay until the final whistle or the beer runs out.”
  12. “Football isn’t just a game; it’s a family tradition passed down from generation to generation, usually accompanied by yelling at the TV.”
  13. “A team is only as strong as its cheerleaders’ pom-poms.”
  14. “A kicker’s only job is to make or break the heart of every fan.”
  15. “The football field is the only place where it’s acceptable for 300-pound men to hug each other.”
  16. “In football, the only thing harder than scoring a touchdown is finding a clean porta-potty at the stadium.”
  17. “A true fan knows that the real MVP of the game is the concession stand hot dog.”
  18. “In football, the only thing tougher than the players are the moms watching from the sidelines.”
  19. “Being a kicker is like being the drummer in a band; everyone likes to make fun of you until they need you.”
  20. “In football, a Hail Mary isn’t just a prayer; it’s a last-ditch effort to avoid your spouse’s wrath for skipping date night.”

Kicking Double Entendres Up a Notch: Creative Football Puns to Score a Laugh!

  1. “I didn’t make the cut for the team, I guess I’ll just have to ‘tackle’ some other sport.”
  2. “I always love a good ‘play’ on words, especially when it comes to football.”
  3. “My coach told me I have a ‘solid’ defense, but my abs disagree.”
  4. “They say football is like chess, but with ‘tackles’ instead of checkmates.”
  5. “I may be small, but my ‘game’ is big on the field.”
  6. “I never take any ‘timeouts,’ except when it’s for snack breaks.”
  7. “I always give it my ‘all’ when I’m playing football, which is why I’m covered in grass stains.”
  8. “The quarterback threw a touchdown, but I prefer to call it a ‘touchdine.'”
  9. “My opponent tried to ‘flex’ on me, so I showed them my ‘muscle’.”
  10. “I may not be the best kicker, but I can sure ‘boot’ them far.”
  11. “You can call me the ‘defensive end’ because I always bring the strong defense.”
  12. “I may be on the sidelines, but I still feel like an ‘end zone.'”
  13. “They say it’s not about the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the ‘bite’ in the dog – same goes for football players.”
  14. “I didn’t choose the pigskin life, the pigskin life chose me.”
  15. “As a receiver, I can catch anything – even compliments.”
  16. “I may be a kicker on the field, but off the field I’m ‘bootiful.'”
  17. “They say it’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the ‘game.'”
  18. “Football is like a full-time job, except I actually enjoy it.”
  19. “I’ll never fumble a pass, but I might fumble my words.”
  20. “Football is just like math: you have to be good at calculations to make it to the ‘end zone.'”

Futilely Kicking Around Recursive Puns about Football

  1. Why shouldn’t you play football in the jungle? Too many wild recursions.
  2. How do football players make sure they don’t forget their plays? They write them down in a recursive notebook.
  3. What did the mathematician say when he was watching a game of football? “I’m rooting for the home team and their infinite recursion.”
  4. Why did the pig go to the football game? He heard there were recursive hogs on the field.
  5. What do you call it when a football team continuously runs the same play? A recursive offense.
  6. Why did the football coach hire a computer programmer? He wanted someone who could debug recursive plays.
  7. Why did the football players go to the library before the game? To study the recursive strategies of their opponents.
  8. What did the football say when it needed a break? “I’m going to sub myself out for some recursive substitutions.”
  9. What’s the most dangerous part of a football game? The recursive tackles.
  10. Why did the quarterback keep asking for the same play to be called? He was stuck in a recursive loop.
  11. How do football players access their game stats? Through a recursive algorithm.
  12. Why aren’t rabbits good at playing football? They always multiply through recursion instead of scoring.
  13. What’s the best way to describe a perfectly executed play? Recursive precision.
  14. Why did the football players decide to go to a comedy show before the game? They needed some recursion to lighten the mood.
  15. What did the coach say when a player made a clever play? “That was a recursive run, well done!”
  16. Why did the running back keep getting tackled for loss? He was caught in an infinite recursion.
  17. What do you get when a football and a computer combine their skills? A recursively efficient game plan.
  18. Why did the fans start booing the referee? He was calling penalties for recursive fouls.
  19. What did the football coach say when asked about his favorite type of humor? “I’m a big fan of recursive jokes, they have layers of complexity just like my plays.”
  20. Why did the football player keep going in circles? He was caught in a recursive spiral route.

Kicking Up Pun with Football Tom Swifties!

  1. “I can’t believe I scored that touchdown,” he exclaimed stiffly.
  2. “I never thought I’d make it to the end zone,” he joked runnily.
  3. “That was a real fumble on my part,” he said clumsily.
  4. “I’ll stop playing when pigs fly,” he grunted charitably.
  5. “I kicked that field goal with my eyes closed,” he bragged blindly.
  6. “I can’t catch a break,” he sighed catching-lessly.
  7. “My punting skills are really going places,” he kicked high-ly.
  8. “My coach is always yelling at me,” he mumbled angrily.
  9. “I’m the quarterback of this team,” he passed arrogantly.
  10. “That interception was a stroke of luck,” he intercepted gratefully.
  11. “I’m not just playing for fun, I’m playing for keeps,” he played seriously.
  12. “I didn’t mean to tackle you so hard,” he apologized remorselessly.
  13. “I’ll never get tired of running,” he panted endlessly.
  14. “I almost caught the winning pass,” he huffed and caught frustrating-ly.
  15. “You can’t touch this!” he said triumphantly touching-ly.
  16. “I’m the MVP of this game,” he boasted most-valuable-proudly.
  17. “That touchdown was a real long shot,” he ran wistfully.
  18. “I’ll be playing football till the end,” he joked end-lessly.
  19. “I can’t believe I just kicked my own helmet,” he shook his head helmet-less-ly.
  20. “I’m not just a football player, I’m also a dad,” he said paternally kicking away loving-ly.

Penalty for not laughing – Knock, knock. Who’s there? Football!

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tackle. Tackle who? Tackle the pigskin and score a touchdown!
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pass. Pass who? Pass the ball and let’s go for a field goal!
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fumble. Fumble who? Fumble for the ball and score a safety!
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Helmet. Helmet who? Helmet my team to victory!
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Intercept. Intercept who? Intercept the ball and run it back for a pick-six!
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Huddle. Huddle who? Huddle up and let’s come up with a winning play!
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Quarterback. Quarterback who? Quarterback sneak to the end zone!
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cheer. Cheer who? Cheer on your team and cheer for a win!
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Punt. Punt who? Punt the ball and pin them within their own 20!
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Offense. Offense who? Offense is the best defense in football!
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Defense. Defense who? Defense wins championships!
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tight end. Tight end who? Tight end zone for a touchdown!
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Field goal. Field goal who? Field goal attempt is good, three points for us!
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? End zone. End zone who? End zone dance after scoring a touchdown!
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sideline. Sideline who? Sideline catch for a first down!
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Penalty. Penalty who? Penalty for unnecessary roughness, 15 yard penalty!
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spectator. Spectator who? Spectator at the game, rooting for my team!
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Referee. Referee who? Referee made a bad call, but we’ll bounce back and win!
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Football. Football who? Football is more than just a game, it’s a way of life!
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Super Bowl. Super Bowl who? Super Bowl champions, that’s who!

Kicking Up a Fun Time with Football Malapropisms: Don’t Fumble the Jokes!

  1. “Quarter-horse” instead of quarterback
  2. “Fowl-on” instead of false start
  3. “Touchdown town” instead of end zone
  4. “Field goalpost” instead of field goal
  5. “Huddle flub” instead of huddle up
  6. “Line blacker” instead of offensive lineman
  7. “Fumble fingers” instead of butterfingers
  8. “Halftime showboat” instead of showboating
  9. “Safety dance” instead of safety blitz
  10. “Pigpen life” instead of pigskin
  11. “Tackle trip” instead of tackle box
  12. “Pass interference phone call” instead of penalty flag
  13. “Wideout out of bounds” instead of wide receiver
  14. “Sneak sack” instead of sneak attack
  15. “End zone celebration party” instead of touchdown celebration
  16. “Penalty box lunch” instead of penalty box
  17. “Quarterback exchange mix-up” instead of quarterback sneak
  18. “Kickoff boot camp” instead of kickoff return
  19. “Foul tackle” instead of face mask penalty
  20. “Gridiron dinner” instead of tailgate party

Funny Flubs on the Field: Spoonerisms about Football!

  1. “Shootball Fun”
  2. “Passing Tackle”
  3. “Goal Throw”
  4. “Quarterback Rush”
  5. “Helmet Fumble”
  6. “Field Goal Run”
  7. “Huddle Scramble”
  8. “Pigskin Chase”
  9. “Touchdown Catch”
  10. “Endzone Dance”
  11. “Foul Penalty”
  12. “Turf Slip”
  13. “Jersey Tackle”
  14. “Cheerblock Stomp”
  15. “Referee Flag”
  16. “Sideline Toss”
  17. “Interception Shuffle”
  18. “Wildcard Blitz”
  19. “Coin Toss Flip”
  20. “Gridiron Grin”

Score some laughs with these pun-tastic football jokes!

Well, folks, I hope you got a kick out of these 230+ puns about football. Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just a casual observer, there’s no denying that these jokes will have you rolling on the turf with laughter. And if you’re still hungry for more, be sure to check out our other related pun and joke posts – because when it come to football, there’s always room for more pun-ishment. Thanks for tuning in, and remember: when in doubt, just punt it!

Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com

PunnyFunny Team

I'm Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com, where I and my team share the best puns and jokes with the world. My passion for original humor drives me to create content that keeps everyone smiling. As a dedicated humorist, I've made PunnyFunny.com a haven for those who love a good laugh, just like me. Explore my Best Puns & Jokes collection.

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