125+ France Jokes & Puns: You'll Say "Oui!"

Bonjour, pun lovers! Get ready to say “ooh la la” to the best list of France jokes and puns this side of the Eiffel Tower. We’ve got a baguette-load of humor coming your way, guaranteed to make you laugh harder than a mime trying to hold back a smile. Did you know France is the most visited country in the world? Well, get ready to discover why, because these clever and positive jokes will have you saying “s’il vous plaît” for more!

Top France Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: You’ll Say Oui-l Love These

What’s the most “a-peeling” region in France? Côte d’Azur.
France’s bread-making skills? They really rise to the occasion.
I only visit France in the “sacre bleu” period. It’s the most beautiful time of year.
Taking my dog to France. He’s going to learn French fleas.
My trip to France was revolting. I had to go back.
Met a French baker who was super dramatic. Everything was “loaf or death.”
France is so romantic. Eiffel for it hard.
Heard a rumor about the Louvre… But I’m framing from spreading it.
What do French ghosts haunt? The Lou-vre.
Traveling through France. Having a wheely good time.
Never argue with a French mime. They have a way with words.
French restaurants are so extra. They always bring out the big cheese.
French history is so confusing. I can never tell which Louis is which.
What do French bees make? De-lightful honey.
Why don’t they play poker in the French bakery? Too many croissants.
What’s a French cat’s favorite clothing? A purr-sian robe.

Funny France Jokes With One Liner Clever France Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny France One-Liner Jokes To Get You Laughing In Paris

France is such a Louvre-ly country, I could visit a thousand times.
Met this French baker who kept making croissants disappear. Turns out, he was a master of his own décroissant.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato – even France thinks it’s funny!
I told my friend I wanted to become fluent in French in just 30 days. He said, “Eiffel for that!”
What do you call a French spider that’s hard to understand? A web designer with a thick accent.
My friend refused to go to Paris because of all the mimes. I told him, “Don’t be silly, they can’t hurt you!”
The French sure know how to make a statement. They always use exclamation croissants!
Croissants: Proof that France makes everything better, even butter and flour.
Someone stole my baguette in Paris today… I felt crummy all day.
Going to art school in France is tough. It’s Louvre-competitive.
I tried writing a song about a French pastry chef, but I kept hitting sour notes. Apparently, you can’t make a hit with just any old croissant.
What’s French and jumps higher than the Eiffel Tower? Anything – buildings can’t jump!
France: Where the wine is fine, the bread is divine, and the romance is on the Seine.
What’s the most popular type of cheese in France? Camembert – it’s everywhere!
I only know one thing in French: “Bonjour.” But, hey, that’s all I knead to get by in a bakery.

QnA Jokes & Puns about France: You’ll baguette Laughing 😄

Q: What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? A: Phillipe Phillope.
Q: Why did the French soldier bring a baguette into battle? A: To serve his enemies some “pain”.
Q: Why did the Eiffel Tower get good grades? A: It had excellent structure and was always outstanding in its field.
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a French poodle? A: A very fancy croissant.
Q: Why do French chefs make great detectives? A: They’re excellent at whisking away the evidence.
Q: Why don’t they play poker in the Louvre? A: Too many cheaters…and too much Mona Lisa.
Q: Did you hear about the fashion designer who moved to Paris? A: He said he was going to “sew” the city!
Q: How do snails travel from France to England? A: They “escargot” the English Channel.
Q: Why did the baker go to the bank? A: To get his “dough” in France.
Q: What did the grape say when the French bulldog stepped on it? A: Nothing, it just let out a little “wine”.
Q: Where do fleas go for vacation in France? A: Nice.
Q: What did the beret say to the head? A: You look “tres chic” today!
Q: Did you hear about the French chef who made a fortune selling soup? A: He had a very consommé-able personality!
Q: What’s a French cat’s favorite movie? A: The Aristocats.
Q: Why don’t they have fireworks at Euro Disney? A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French people surrender!
Q: Why did the bicycle fall over in Paris? A: Because it was “Two Tired”.

Dad Jokes about France: Prepare to Say “Oui” to Laughter

What do you call a fake baguette? An im-pasta!
Did you hear about the snail that got lost in Paris? He couldn’t find his escargot home!
What’s the most popular type of car in France? Renaults.
I joined a French dating app. They set me up with a Brie-utiful woman!
I only got a small fireplace in my new French chateau. Just a wee-wee fireplace.
Why did the French flag get a bad grade in school? Cause it was always blue, white, and blew it!
What’s French and jumps higher than the Eiffel Tower? Anything you throw at the Eiffel Tower!
Never argue with a French baker, they’ll always have the last croissant!
How do French people make their coffee? They espresso themselves!
My wife wanted to go to France just for the bread. I told her, “Honey, that’s a lot of dough to spend on a baguette.”
My friend said he wanted to live in the Eiffel Tower. I told him, “Good luck finding an apartment with a view like that!”
What’s the least crowded month in France? Novem-brie!
I wanted to start a mime school in Paris, but I couldn’t find any words to describe it.
If you’re ever feeling down, just remember that somewhere in France, there’s a mime trapped in an invisible box.
Someone stole my French dictionary today. I have no words!
What’s a frog’s favorite French dance? Can-Can you guess?

Funny Quotes and Captions about France: Baguette Yourself Some Laughter

“France: Where the bread is always better, even when it’s toasted.”
“Just booked a one-way ticket to France. Don’t worry, I’ll bring back baguettes.”
“My therapist told me to picture my happy place. Turns out, it’s a French bakery.”
“You know you’re in France when the pigeons judge your outfit.”
“Fell in love with France. Now I’m just trying to figure out how to fit the Eiffel Tower in my suitcase.”
“France: Land of cheese, wine, and people who say ‘zut alors’ with a straight face.”
“Didn’t know what to expect on my trip to France, but I can confirm: everyone here is tres chic… even the dogs.”
“French is such a romantic language. I bet even arguments sound like love songs.”
“Spent my life savings on a trip to France. Worth every croissant.”
“My French is getting better. I can almost order a croissant without accidentally proposing.”
“They say money can’t buy happiness. They clearly haven’t been to a French patisserie.”
“France: Proof that you can never have too much butter, cheese, or berets.”
“Warning: Extended stays in France may result in an incurable addiction to pastries and a newfound appreciation for striped shirts.”
“If speaking French is a superpower, consider me fluent… in saying ‘bonjour’ and ordering two croissants.”
“Always thought France was overrated. Then I ate a croissant. I apologize for everything I’ve ever said.”
“France: Where the art of ‘people-watching’ is elevated to Olympic sport status.”
“Just saw a mime in France arguing with a parking enforcement officer. Talk about a heated silent exchange.”

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about France: With a Bon Appetit and a Touch of Ooh La La

A croissant a day keeps the doctor away… but only if you run to get it. (Because French pastries are delicious, but portions are sensible!)
Don’t judge a French chef by his toque, but by the way his baguette breaks. (It’s all about the crust!)
In France, even the pigeons say “Bonjour.” (Manners matter!)
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink… unless it’s bottled in Bordeaux. (French wine is irresistible!)
A penny saved is a penny earned… unless it’s for a vintage Chanel handbag in Paris. (Some things are worth splurging on!)
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise… but he’ll miss the late-night cheese course in France. (Indulgence is part of the French lifestyle!)
Rome wasn’t built in a day… and neither was the Eiffel Tower. Though they probably argued about it for months in France. (The French love a good debate!)
Too many cooks spoil the broth… unless they’re all trained at Le Cordon Bleu. (French culinary expertise reigns supreme!)
A watched pot never boils… especially if you’re waiting for your perfectly-timed steak frites in France. (Good things take time!)
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket… unless it’s a basket of fresh baguettes from a Parisian boulangerie. (Bread is always a good idea!)
When in Rome, do as the Romans do… except in Paris, where you should always say “bonjour” before asking for directions. (Politeness is key!)
The grass is always greener on the other side… unless you’re standing in a French vineyard during harvest season. (French wine country is idyllic!)
You can’t have your cake and eat it too… except at a French patisserie, where they encourage you to do both. (Life is about enjoying the finer things!)
Good things come to those who wait… like a perfectly aged bottle of French wine. (Patience is a virtue, especially when it comes to wine!)
There’s no such thing as a free lunch… unless you’re charming your way into a free croissant at the local boulangerie. (Never underestimate the power of a little French charm!)

France Double Entendres Puns: Oui, Oui, We’ve Got Your Humerus!

I told my friend I wanted to experience France like a local. He said, “In that case, you’ll need to learn how to complain about tourists in French.” (Plays on the stereotype of French people disliking tourists)
My trip to France was going swimmingly until I ran out of money. I guess you could say I was financially challenged. (Plays on the French Open tennis tournament)
They say Paris is the city of love, but I spent all my time in museums. I guess you could say I Louvre you. (Plays on the Louvre Museum)
I tried to impress a French girl with my knowledge of cheese. Turns out, she was only interested in American brie. (Plays on the stereotype of French people loving cheese)
I asked for directions in Paris, but everyone just pointed and shrugged. I guess I’ll just have to wing it. (Plays on the stereotype of French people being unhelpful with directions)
My dog ate my French textbook. Now he’s fluent, but he only responds to commands in a snooty voice. (Plays on the stereotype of French people being snobbish)
My doctor told me I need to eat more croissants. I guess I’m medically obligated to visit France. (Plays on the popular French pastry)
I tried to learn French by watching their reality TV shows. I learned a lot about arguing and dramatic pronouncements. (Plays on the dramatic nature of reality TV)
Apparently, the Eiffel Tower is really popular on Valentine’s Day. It must be the most romantic spot to get ironed on. (Plays on the Eiffel Tower being made of iron)
My friend is convinced he was Napoleon in a past life. Now, all he drinks is water-wine-go. (Plays on Napoleon’s defeat at Waterloo and the phrase “water under the bridge”)
I joined a dating app for French singles. Turns out, it was all just bots trying to sell me expensive wine. (Plays on stereotypes of online dating and French wine)
My attempt at baking a baguette ended in disaster. I guess you could say it was a crumby situation. (Plays on the texture of a baguette)
I’m starting a French-themed rock band called “Les Misérables Meowsical.” Our first single? “One More Bite of Quiche.” (Plays on the famous musical “Les Misérables” and French cuisine)
My GPS keeps trying to lead me to “New France.” I’m pretty sure Canada isn’t geographically that close. (Plays on the historical French colony of New France)
I tried to pay for my croissant with Monopoly money. The cashier just looked at me and said, “Sacre bleu! Do I look like I own Boardwalk?” (Plays on a French exclamation and the board game Monopoly)

Funny France Tom Swifties: Jokes From Paris With Puns

“I can’t believe Paris is only three hours away by train!” said Tom swiftly.
“The Mona Lisa was smaller than I expected,” said Tom louvre-ly.
“Let’s climb the Eiffel Tower!” Tom said expansively.
“This baguette is incredible!” exclaimed Tom crustily.
“This pastry is delicious,” Tom said flakily.
“Did you pack the Bordeaux?” Tom asked winingly.
“I think I’ll have some escargots,” Tom said snail-ishly.
“The Palace of Versailles is enormous!” Tom remarked regally.
“Did you see the mime by the Louvre?” Tom asked silently.
“Cannes Film Festival is next week,” Tom said starry-eyed.
“I rented a car for our Provence road trip,” Tom said peugeot-ively.
“This camembert cheese is quite pungent,” Tom said stinkingly.
“This croissant is perfect for dipping in my café au lait,” Tom said dunkirk-ly.
“I love watching the Tour de France,” Tom said wheely enthusiastically.
“Hon hon hon,” chuckled Tom, Frenchly.
“Let’s visit Monet’s garden in Giverny,” Tom said artfully.
“I’m so glad we visited France!” Tom said triumphantly.

Knock-knock Jokes about France: You’ll Say Oui to These

Knock, knock. Who’s there? France. France who? France’s dressing! Get it? Because French dressing is delicious… Okay, I’ll see myself out.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? France. France who? France-ly, I don’t get what you’re baguette-ing at!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? France. France who? France-ly, I think we need to talk about your Eiffel for me.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? France. France who? France I met you, you’ve been nothing but a croissant to me.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? France. France who? France-ly, my dear, I don’t give a crêpe!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? France. France who? France is the place to be, hon hon hon!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? France. France who? France-ly, I couldn’t resist another pun!
Knock knock! Who’s there? France! France Who? France-ly my dear, I did commit the crime, but I’ll never confess!
Knock knock! Who’s there? France. France who? France you asked, can I borrow your beret?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? France! France who? France-ly enough, I thought this was the bakery!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? France! France who? France-ly, this whole mime thing is getting out of hand!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? France. France who? France-tastic to see you! What brings you to my door?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? France. France who? France you left, I’ve been meaning to return your Eiffel Tower keychain.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? France! France who? France-ly, did you know it’s illegal to name a pig Napoleon in France? Crazy, right?