105+ Ghostly Jokes & Puns: You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me!

Get ready to laugh your spirit off!👻 We’ve summoned the best list of ghost jokes and puns, guaranteed to raise your humor from the afterlife to the land of the living. This collection of clever and positively hilarious zingers proves that even ghosts appreciate a good chuckle (did you know their laughter echoes even though they can’t clap? Spooky!). So, grab your ghost-hunting gear, hold onto your sheet, and prepare for some boo-tiful puns and jokes.

Top Ghost Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Boo-tiful Humor 💀👻

1. Ghosted someone so hard, they became one. 👻
2. What do you call a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream. 🍦
3. “Boo”tiful. You’ve really outdone yourself this Halloween. 🎃
4. Dating a ghost is tough. They’re always a little transparent. 💔
5. Ghost accountants deal with invisible income. 💰
6. Lost my job at the bank. Turns out I’m not cut out for the ghost economy. 💼
7. “Hey, who turned out the lights?” – Famous last words of a ghost hunter.🔦
8. That ghost writer is incredible. They really captured my voice (despite not having one). ✍️
9. Tired of boring parties? Invite a ghost. They really liven things up. 🎉
10. Fell in love with a ghost baker. They make killer scones. 💀🍪
11. Took the ghost train to work today. It went right through a building. Pretty efficient commute! 🚂
12. I’m starting a ghost band. We’re called “In Spirit.” 🎸👻
13. Ghosted by my therapist. Guess our connection wasn’t so spiritual after all. 🛋️
14. Just saw a ghost driving a car. I guess he’s got a need for sheet metal. 🚗👻
15. My ghost friend keeps making fun of my cooking. Says it’s to die for. 🍳☠️
16. A ghost walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits.” 🥃👻
17. Exhausted from arguing with a ghost. We just couldn’t see eye to eye. 👀👻

Funny Ghost One-Liner Jokes To Leave You In Spirits

1. The ghost writer was struggling with writer’s block…turns out he was using invisible ink.
2. I tried to tell a ghost story on a windy night, but it just wouldn’t fly.
3. A ghost walked into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits.”
4. Ghosts love elevators because it lifts their spirits.
5. Being a ghost hunter is the only job where you can truly say you’re working with the dead.
6. I saw a ghost driving a car the other day. I thought to myself, “That’s weird…I didn’t know they had licenses in the afterlife.”
7. Went to a haunted bakery – their specialty is spookies.
8. My friend named his wifi network “The Sixth Sense.” Now he has no connection.
9. Ghosts are terrible liars, you can see right through them.
10. Met a friendly ghost at a party last night. He really knew how to liven things up.
11. Never trust a ghost with life advice. They’ve already given up on theirs.
12. You know you’re lonely when even a ghost won’t answer your calls.
13. Ghosts are terrible singers, they always go flat.
14. My therapist told me to face my fears, so I unfollowed a bunch of scary ghost accounts.
15. Ghosts are great dancers. They have all the right moves.
16. Be careful not to offend a ghost – they’re easily dis-spirited.

QnA Jokes & Puns about Ghost: Prepare to be Spooked with Laughter

1. Q: Why did the ghost go into the bar? A: For the Boos! 🍸
2. Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite type of music? A: Anything spooky-themed… or Soul! 🎶
3. Q: What do you call a ghost’s autobiography? A: “A Life After Death… Literally.” 📖
4. Q: Why are ghosts such bad liars? A: You can see right through them! 😉
5. Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite position in a soccer game? A: Ghoulkeeper! ⚽
6. Q: Why did the ghost get a job at the bakery? A: He heard they needed help raising the dough! 🍞👻
7. Q: How do you tell if a ghost is lying? A: Their story doesn’t hold up under scrutiny… or gravity! 🤥
8. Q: What do you call a ghost that’s always lost? A: A wandering ghoul! 🧭👻
9. Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite mode of transportation? A: A Scare-ousel! 🎠
10. Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation? A: The Dead Sea! 🏖️💀
11. Q: What’s a ghost’s biggest fear? A: An exor-cise routine… they’d disappear! 🏃‍♂️💨👻
12. Q: Why did the ghost go to art school? A: To learn how to draw the curtains! 🎨👻
13. Q: How do ghosts stay fit? A: They exercise with scare-obics! 💪👻
14. Q: What do you call a group of organized ghosts? A: A spectral squad! 👻👻👻
15. Q: Why are ghost writers so underpaid? A: Their work is spectral-ative! ✍️💰👻
16. Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? A: I scream… you scream… we all scream for boo-berry ice cream! 🍨👻
17. Q: Why did the ghost cross the road? A: To get to the other… sigh… you saw me, didn’t you? 🙄👻

Dad Jokes about Ghost: Boo-tiful Jokes to Make You Scream with Laughter

1. Here is a list for you!
2. I tried to tell a ghost story at the campfire, but it fell flat. Turns out, everyone had herd it before!
3. What do you call a ghost’s stomach? A hollow-weenie!
4. I saw a ghost riding a lawnmower yesterday. Guess he was just cutting through the afterlife.
5. My friend named his dog “Ghost.” Now it’s always running away, and he can never find it!
6. Ghosts love elevators. They lift their spirits.
7. What does a ghost order at a restaurant? Spook-hetti and meatballs!
8. Did you hear about the ghost who lost his keys? He’s looking for his “boo-tiful” wife!
9. Tried to catch a ghost in the attic today, but all I got was sheet music.
10. Don’t worry about ghosts in the library. They’re just trying to find a good boo-k! 👻📚
11. What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A hoblin goblin!
12. Why did the ghost break up with the witch? He thought she was seeing someone on the “side.”
13. Ghosts are terrible liars. You can see right through them!
14. I’m not saying I believe in ghosts, but I do keep an open “mind” about them.
15. Ghost stories are only scary if you haven’t paid your electricity bill.
16. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream, you scream, we all scream for “boo-berry” pie!
17. I’m opening a ghost-themed bakery. I’ve got some killer spec-ial-tea recipes!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Ghost: Boo-tiful Jokes to Scare You Silly

1. “My dating life is like a ghost town…populated entirely by ghosts.” 💔👻
2. “Tried to fight a ghost once. Needless to say, it was a very spirited debate.” 💪👻
3. “My therapist told me to embrace my fears. So I gave the ghost in my attic a hug.” 🤗👻
4. “I’m not saying it was a ghost, but the wine just disappeared. And it wasn’t me.” 🍷👻
5. Relationship Status: In love with a ghost. It’s going really well, except for the lack of physical contact and constant chills.” 🥶👻❤️
6. “Me: I’m not afraid of ghosts! Also me: sleeps with the lights on” 🛌💡👻
7. “What do you call a ghost’s favorite music genre? Soul music.” 🎶👻
8. “My wifi must be a ghost. It disappears constantly, and I have no idea where it goes.” 💻👻
9. “Just saw a ghost eating toast… I guess you could say he was a toast ghost.” 🍞👻
10. “Ghosted someone today… Turns out even ghosts can ghost.” 👻👻
11. “I used to be a ghost hunter, but then I realized it was a dead-end job.” 💼👻
12. “My love life feels like a ghost town, except this ghost pays rent.” 😭👻💰
13. “If you’re ever feeling lonely, just remember: A ghost is always willing to listen… mainly because they have nothing better to do.” 👻👂
14. “I put a sheet over my head and pretended to be a ghost. Turns out, I’m really good at being ignored.” 😔👻
15. “Ghosted my diet today… Turns out carbs are my biggest weakness…and also my greatest love.” 🍩👻
16. “The only spirits I believe in come in a bottle and wear little hats.” 🍾👻

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Ghosts: For When You’re Feeling Transparent

1. A ghost in the attic is worth two in the basement. (Because nobody wants to go in the basement anyway.)
2. Early to bed, early to rise, makes a ghost healthy, wealthy, and… well, still transparent.
3. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make a ghost drink it. It’ll just phase right through the cup.
4. A watched pot never boils, and a watched ghost just goes right through the wall. (Talk about awkward.)
5. The ghost of a chance is better than no ghost at all. (Unless we’re talking about your ex.)
6. Like father, like son, like spooky apparition haunting the very same dungeon.
7. Don’t put all your ghosts in one graveyard. Diversify your hauntings.
8. A ghost in the machine is cheaper than a mechanic these days. (Have you seen the price of spare parts?)
9. If at first you don’t succeed, try haunting someone else. They might be more susceptible to your spectral shenanigans.
10. You can’t teach an old ghost new tricks, but you can ask them to teach you some old ones. Like how to walk through walls. That’s useful.
11. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two ghosts right next to each other? That’s a haunting waiting to happen.
12. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. Become a ghost yourself and start your own spectral squad.

Ghost Double Entendres Puns: Boo-tiful Wordplay

1. Dating a ghost is tough. Sure, they’re low maintenance, but they always put a damper on my dreams of growing old together. (Damper as in less exciting, and damper as in something that makes things wet – ghosts are often associated with cold, damp places)
2. This haunted house is terrible! The ghosts haven’t done a single chore. Talk about spiritless! (Spiritless as in lacking enthusiasm and spiritless as in lacking actual spirits)
3. A ghost walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits.” (Spirits as in alcoholic beverages and spirits as in ghosts)
4. I used to be afraid of ghosts, then I realized… I’m the one they should be scared of. I have a terrible singing voice. (Playing on the fear factor associated with ghosts, flipping it with another ‘scary’ element)
5. You know you’ve hit rock bottom when even ghosts are giving you the cold shoulder… or should I say, the colder shoulder? (Playing on the coldness associated with ghosts)
6. My therapist told me to face my fears. So I went to a haunted house and told the ghost he wasn’t real. He looked at me, shocked, and said, “You’ve ghosted me for the last time!” (Ghosted as in disbelieved and ghosted as in the act of disappearing like a ghost)
7. Why are ghosts terrible liars? Because their stories are always transparent. (Transparent as in easy to see through and transparent as in ghosts being see-through)
8. I tried to start a ghost band, but we couldn’t agree on a medium. (Medium as in a size and medium as in someone who communicates with spirits)
9. Ghosts are terrible dancers. They have no body control. (Body control as in physical coordination and body control as in lacking a physical body)
10. A ghost writer walks into a library and asks for a pen. The librarian whispers, “We have ways of making you speak.” (Speak as in voicing a request instead of writing and speak as in forcing a ghost to communicate)
11. I’m writing a cookbook for ghosts. It’s full of spirited recipes. (Spirited as in full of energy and spirited as in ghost-related)
12. Found an apartment listing: “Haunted house for rent. Looking for a tenant with unwavering courage.” I almost called, but then I got cold feet. (Unwavering courage needed for a haunted house, cold feet as in fear and cold feet as in literally cold feet which ghosts might experience)
13. Broke up with my ghost girlfriend. Turns out she was just using me for my body heat. (Body heat needed for warmth and ghosts lacking physical bodies)
14. What do you call a ghost party? A grave affair. (Grave as in serious and grave as in a burial place for the dead)
15. Always be nice to ghosts. They’re just dying to be noticed. (Dying to be noticed as in wanting attention and dying as in what led them to become ghosts)
16. My friend claims he saw a ghost riding a motorcycle. I told him that was just far-fetched. (Far-fetched as in unbelievable and far-fetched as in ghosts being able to reach far distances quickly)

Funny Ghost Tom Swifties: Boo-tiful Jokes for Swifties

1. “I think I saw Casper’s reflection!” said Tom, transparently.
2. “These sheets are always cold,” Tom said, spiritedly.
3. “Don’t worry, I’m not afraid of no ghosts!” said Tom, boofully.
4. “Maybe we can dig up some dirt on this poltergeist,” Tom suggested, gravely.
5. “Did you hear that moaning sound?” asked Tom, deadpan.
6. “This place gives me the creeps,” Tom shuddered, coldly.
7. “You look a little pale,” Tom observed, ghostly.
8. “I swear this house wasn’t here yesterday,” Tom whispered, vanishingly.
9. “Let’s get out of here!” Tom shrieked, spookedly.
10. “This Ouija board keeps spelling out my name,” Tom said, ominously.
11. “I think this ghost is trying to tell us something,” Tom said, mediumly rare.
12. “Wait, where did my flashlight go?” Tom exclaimed, shadowily.
13. “That ghost totally phased through me!” Tom yelled, intangibly.
14. “This used to be my old house,” said Tom, hauntingly.
15. “I feel a presence here,” Tom said, spiritually.
16. “I’m not sure I believe in ghosts,” Tom said, skeptically… then disappeared into thin air.
17. “Maybe we should leave a message,” Tom said, writing on a dusty mirror.

Knock-knock Jokes about Ghost: Prepare to be Spooked!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up, this ghost wants to leave!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to be a ghost for Halloween?
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes the ghost you’re looking for?
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Casper. Casper who? Casper the friendly ghost, have you seen my sheet?
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cereal. Cereal who? Cereal-sly, have you seen any ghosts around here?
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Troy. Troy who? Troy-ing to scare you, but I’m just a friendly ghost!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. Leaf who? Leaf me alone, I’m trying to be a spooky ghost!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ida. Ida who? Ida like to report a haunting, but I’m not sure if it’s real or my imagination.
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ken. Ken who? Ken you feel a cold spot? Must be a ghost!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Robin. Robin who? Robin you, this house is haunted!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo hoo. Boo hoo who? You’re crying? I’m a ghost, not a monster!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Who. Who who? Exactly! Nobody expects the ghostly Spanish Inquisition!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in! It’s cold out here, and being a ghost is exhausting!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive your other friends are scared of ghosts, but you seem cool with it.
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wendy. Wendy who? Wendy you say “ghost,” do you say it with respect?
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for Halloween! Get ready to see some real ghosts!