120+ Golf Jokes & Puns: Have a Tee-rific Time Laughing

Fore! Get ready to laugh your putt off because you’ve just stumbled onto the best list of golf jokes and puns this side of the fairway! This isn’t your average sand trap of humor, either. We’re talking clever, positive, funny stuff – jokes so good they’ll have you shouting “mashed potatoes” in excitement (or maybe that’s just your golf cry?). Fun fact: did you know golf balls used to be made of leather? Thankfully, our jokes are far less rough around the edges. Prepare for a hole-in-one of humor!

Top Golf Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Fore-get the Rest!

1. What’s a golfer’s favorite dance move? The Bogey Woogie.
2. I’m not saying I’m bad at golf…but I can hit the same ball twice with one swing.
3. My wife told me to take up a relaxing hobby…so I took up her golf clubs.
4. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
5. I’m starting to think my golf ball has separation anxiety. It follows me everywhere…but only one stroke at a time.
6. Golf: Because “screaming loudly in the backyard” annoys the neighbors.
7. The golf course is my happy place…mostly because it’s the only place where my wife lets me drink and swear.
8. What do you call an angry golfer? A tee-off!
9. Golf is just a game where you try to put a ball in a hole…that’s guarded by a tiny castle and a flag.
10. Why don’t golfers ever have granola for breakfast? Because they prefer a bowl in one.
11. Putting greens are like life – sometimes they’re smooth, sometimes they’re rough.
12. Never take advice from a golfer who can’t count their strokes… they’ll steer you wrong.
13. What do you call it when a golfer can’t break 80? A score.
14. I used to think golf was boring… until I tried hitting someone with the golf cart. (Just kidding!)
15. My golf game is so bad, I could get lost on a one-way fairway.
16. I almost got a hole in one yesterday…almost went in the wrong hole, too.

Funny Golf One-Liner Jokes: Short Putts of Laughter

1. My golf game is like a poorly wrapped present… lots of ugly tears.
2. You know you’re addicted to golf when you start whispering “get in the hole” to your coffee.
3. My wife told me to take up a relaxing hobby… now I spend all day searching for my golf ball in the woods.
4. I wanted to name my pet parrot “Putter” so I could say things like “Putter’s hooked again!”
5. Golf is a lot like taxes… you drive hard to get to a green you don’t have.
6. My doctor told me to get more iron… so I bought new clubs!
7. I’m not saying I’m bad at golf, but I once hit a birdie… with the actual golf cart.
8. What do you call a golfer who always brags? A chip off the old club.
9. I used to think golf was boring, then it grew on me… literally, I got stuck in a sand trap.
10. I’m starting a dating app for golfers called “Par-Fect Match.”
11. Caddies are like therapists, except they judge your swing instead of your childhood.
12. I’m so good at putting, I can make a ball disappear… into the water hazard.
13. Why don’t fish play golf? They’re afraid of getting hooked.
14. Just got kicked off the golf course for yelling “Fore!”… apparently, “Watch out, you old bat!” isn’t the preferred term.
15. Mini golf is basically regular golf, except you actually hit what you aim at.

QnA Jokes & Puns about Golf: Fore-get Your Troubles & Tee-Hee-Hee!

1. . Q: Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? A: In case he got a hole-in-one!
2. . Q: What do you call a golfer who always gets bogeys? A: A “par”iah on the course!
3. . Q: Did you hear about the golfer who kept hitting the ball into the woods? A: He was driving everyone bark-ing mad!
4. . Q: Why did the golfer bring a ladder to the course? A: He wanted to take his game to new heights.
5. . Q: What do you call a romantic golf date? A: “Tee” for two!
6. . Q: Why was the golf ball covered in red paint? A: It was caught speeding on the fairway!
7. . Q: What did the golfer shout when he hit a hole-in-one? A: “I’m in the hole!” …His financial advisor fainted.
8. . Q: Where can you buy a replacement club if you break yours? A: At a second-hand store… they’re always having a “golf” sale!
9. . Q: Why do golfers always bring an extra sock? A: In case they get a hole-in-one!
10. . Q: Why do golfers hate cake? A: They’d rather have a “putt” than a slice!
11. . Q: What’s a golfer’s favorite dance move? A: The Bogey Woogie!
12. . Q: Why is being a good golfer like being in a relationship? A: It’s all about finding the right “swing” and making a good “connection.”
13. . Q: Why are ghosts such bad golfers? A: They always get a “boo”gey!
14. . Q: What’s a golfer’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good “swing” to it!
15. . Q: What’s a golfer’s worst nightmare? A: A bee in their golf bag yelling, “Let’s “bee” tee-riffic!”
16. . Q: What do you get if you cross a golfer and a gardener? A: Someone who’s always muttering about their “birdies” and their “bogeys”!

Dad Jokes about Golf: Fore-gettable Fun for the Family

1. I told my wife she should be happy I let her come to my golf tournament. She said, “Honey, your golf game is already driving me crazy!”
2. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
3. The golf course is like a second home to me… My wife made me buy this mini one for the backyard.
4. My wife said my golf game is “driving a wedge” between us. I think it’s more like a “putt” between us. wink
5. I bought a new driver at the pro shop today. You should’ve seen the wife’s face, she thought I meant a chauffeur!
6. I asked my wife if I could go golfing on Valentine’s Day. She said, “Over my dead body!” Looks like I’m playing a round tomorrow!
7. My wife loves it when I talk about golf. It really drives her up the wall!
8. Never take golf advice from me. I’m a real hack!
9. You know, I used to be addicted to golf… but I’m finally getting better.
10. My wife is convinced that golf is a silly game. I told her, “Don’t knock it ’til you’ve try-ed it.”
11. Why don’t they allow beer on the golf course? Because it’s already a hazard!
12. My wife is always asking me why I like golf so much. I told her, “It’s just tee-riffic!”
13. I wanted to name my son after Tiger Woods… but my wife putted her foot down.
14. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Golf: Fore-get Your Troubles and Laugh!

1. “I’m not saying I’m bad at golf, but even the sand traps are trying to avoid me.”
2. “Golf: Where you can be surrounded by nature and still very, very angry.”
3. “My love for golf is like a hole-in-one – incredibly rare and always celebrated (mostly by myself).”
4. “I’m convinced the golf ball shrinks between the tee and the rough. Anyone else seen this phenomenon?”
5. “Keep your head down, they said. Now I’ve lost sight of the ball AND my dignity.”
6. “I yell “Fore!” out of courtesy and the faint hope that trees are afraid of it.”
7. “Golf is a game that effortlessly combines frustration with stunning scenery.”
8. “The only green I consistently hit is the one on the flag.”
9. “Weekend forecast: Sunny with a high chance of muttering obscenities on the fairway.”
10. “I used to think golf was boring, then I started keeping score in beers, not strokes.”
11. “My golf swing is like my love life: wildly unpredictable and rarely successful.”
12. “Proof that time travel exists: the five minutes it takes to tee off and the five hours it takes to finish a round.”
13. “Golf is 90% mental and 10% hitting your ball into a lake.”
14. “Don’t worry about what others think of your golf game – they’re too busy trying to find their own ball.”
15. “Golf: Where “par” is a mythical creature nobody has ever seen.”
16. “Just found my lost golf ball. Turns out it was hiding in a gopher hole, plotting revenge for all its friends.”
17. “I’m convinced my golf clubs have a secret pact to sabotage me. We need an intervention.”

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Golf: Fore-get Your Troubles and Tee-Hee Your Way to Wisdom

1. A bad day of golf is still better than a good day at work… unless you bet your boss $500 on the 18th hole.
2. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy new golf clubs, and that’s pretty much the same thing… especially if they’re forged blades.
3. Don’t cry over spilled milk, cry over a missed three-foot putt… because that’s a stroke you’ll never get back.
4. A fool and his money are soon parted, especially at the golf course pro shop… where everything is “essential” and “tour-level.”
5. Practice makes perfect, but on the golf course, ‘practice’ just means more opportunities to shank it into the woods.
6. The grass is always greener… on the fairway you just sliced your drive away from.
7. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him sink a 10-foot putt… unless you offer him some sugar cubes and a new set of irons.
8. Silence is golden… unless you’re about to tee off and someone yells “Get in the hole!” Then it’s just annoying.
9. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two birdies in a row usually mean you’re about to make a double bogey.
10. Don’t count your chickens before they hatch… or your strokes before you’ve finished the 18th hole.
11. The pen is mightier than the sword… unless you’re arguing about whose turn it is to tee off.
12. Rome wasn’t built in a day… and neither is a decent golf swing.
13. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree… unless you’re talking about golf skills, in which case it’s more like a coconut falling out of a helicopter.
14. You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your golf partners… unless you’re willing to be really, really picky (and maybe a little lonely).

Golf Double Entendres Puns: Fore-get Your Troubles and Tee-Hee!

1. I told my wife she’d get a lot of “strokes” if she went golfing with me. Turns out, I wasn’t wrong. (Refers to both golf scores and flirting)
2. They say golf is all about the follow-through. Apparently, my marriage counselor disagrees. (Refers to both golf swings and relationship issues)
3. I’m really trying to work on my “approach” with women. Especially on the golf course. (Refers to both golf shots and dating)
4. My love life is like my golf game: lots of hazards, and I keep ending up in the rough. (Refers to both golf course obstacles and relationship troubles)
5. My doctor told me I need to reduce my “handicap.” Now I just need to convince my golfing buddies. (Refers to both a golfing score advantage and a personal disadvantage)
6. I’m not saying I’m bad at golf, but I can get you a great deal on used golf balls. (Refers to hitting balls into water or out of bounds)
7. My wife asked me what was “par” for a good time in bed. I told her “foreplay.” (Refers to both a golf score and a sexual innuendo)
8. I lost my golf ball on the 18th hole… along with my dignity and my car keys. (Implies a disastrous situation beyond just a lost golf ball)
9. I like my women like I like my golf courses: challenging, scenic, and with plenty of bunkers. (Refers to both golf course features and a woman’s physical attributes in a humorous way)
10. I asked the golf pro for tips on improving my “shaft” game. He gave me a very strange look. (Refers to both a golf club component and a sexual innuendo)
11. My golf game is like my dating life: unpredictable, frustrating, and full of missed opportunities. (Compares a frustrating golf game to an equally frustrating dating life)
12. I’m not sure what’s better in bed: a hole-in-one or a double eagle. (Refers to both impressive golf scores and sexual prowess with double meaning)
13. I’m starting to think my golf balls are attracted to water. They seem to find it wherever we go. (Plays on the frustrating tendency to hit golf balls into water hazards)
14. She said she was impressed by my “grip.” I didn’t tell her it was the new putter. (Refers to both holding a golf club and sexual prowess with a humorous misunderstanding)
15. Foreplay is like a good tee shot. It sets up the entire game. (Compares foreplay to a crucial golf move with a suggestive implication)
16. I’m tired of people telling me to “be the ball.” I just want to get out of the sand trap. (Refers to a famous golf quote while highlighting a frustrating golfing situation)
17. My ideal date? 18 holes, a few beers, and you whispering sweet putts into my ear. (Uses golfing terminology playfully in a romantic context)

Funny Golf Tom Swifties for the Greenest Swiftie

1. “That putt was a hole-in-one!” Tom said winningly.
2. “I think my ball landed in the water hazard,” Tom said submergedly.
3. “I can’t find my golf shoes anywhere!” Tom shouted barefootly.
4. “Looks like a bogey for me,” Tom sighed disappointedly.
5. “This green is impossible to read!” Tom complained puttingly.
6. “Watch me drive this one!” Tom said teasingly.
7. “I think I need a new set of clubs,” Tom whispered poorly.
8. “Don’t forget to yell ‘Fore!'” Tom reminded safely.
9. “That’s my ball in the bunker,” Tom groaned sandily.
10. “I love the smell of freshly cut grass,” Tom said greenly.
11. “This golf cart needs more power!” Tom exclaimed slowly.
12. “Did you see where my shot landed?” Tom asked distantly.
13. “I finally broke 100!” Tom cheered triumphantly.
14. “These plaid pants are very fashionable,” Tom said scottishly.
15. “That was out of bounds, wasn’t it?” Tom asked sheepishly.
16. “Maybe I should have used my pitching wedge,” Tom said rough-ly.
17. “I’m going to win this tournament!” Tom declared boldly.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Golf: Fore-get Your Troubles and Laugh

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Golf. Golf who? Golf you a new driver, do you like it?
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Putt. Putt who? Putt your phone down and let’s play golf!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tee. Tee who? Tee time is in five minutes, hurry up!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bogey. Bogey who? Bogey down tonight at the clubhouse, everyone’s invited!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hazard. Hazard who? Hazard guess about where your ball landed in the rough.
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fairway. Fairway who? Fairway to go before we reach the green!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Divot. Divot who? Divot you know, I just got a birdie!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Caddy. Caddy who? Caddy see your ball went in the water hazard?
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green to see me, or are you just happy to be on the green?
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bunker. Bunker who? Bunker down for a long game, I hear it’s a tough course!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Score. Score who? Score any birdies yet, or are you still stuck on bogeys?
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nine. Nine who? Nine iron from here, what do you think?
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rough. Rough who? Rough day on the green? Maybe a beverage will help!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Albatross. Albatross who? Albatross-olutely crushing it with that shot!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Eagle. Eagle who? Eagle-eyed viewers saw that amazing putt!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Par. Par who? Par-fect weather for a round of golf, don’t you think?