230+ Swingin’ Jokes & Puns: Golfing Laughs That’ll Drive You Wild

Are you ready to hit a hole-in-one with some hilarious humor? This list of golfing jokes will have you teeing off with laughter! From clever puns about clubs to funny jokes for kids, we’ve got the best collection of golfing humor. So grab your putter and get ready to hit the green with a smile on your face. These positive puns are sure to be a hit with everyone, even if your golf swing isn’t. Fore warning: prepare for an abundance of clever wordplay ahead!

Tee-riffic Laughs: ‘Golfing’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

1. Why did the golfer refuse to play with his friends? Because he didn’t want to be teed off.
2. What do you call a golf club that’s also a teacher? A pro-fessor.
3. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Just in case he got a hole in one.
4. What do you call a golfer who never misses a shot? A unicorn, because they don’t exist.
5. Why did the golfer bring a ladder to the course? To hit a higher score.
6. How do golfers stay cool on the course? They use their fans-ies.
7. What did the golfer say when his ball landed in the water hazard? “That’s just par for the course.”
8. Why did the golfer need an umbrella on the sunny day? To protect himself from the sun-golf.
9. What do you call a group of golfers waiting to tee off? A driving range-gers.
10. How do golfers stay dry when it rains? They use their hole-in-one raincoats.
11. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of socks? In case he got a hole-in-one.
12. What did the golf ball say to the club? “I like your drive.”
13. How do you make a golfer angry? Tell them they have a handicap.
14. Why was the golfer always on time for his tee time? Because he never wanted to miss his “fore”-mations.
15. What do you call a golfer who’s always in a hurry? A sprint golfer.
16. Why did the golfer hit his ball into the water? Because he wanted to make a splash on the leaderboard.
17. What’s a golfer’s favorite drink on the course? Tee-quila shots.
18. What do you call a golfer’s wardrobe malfunction? A hole-in-one too many buttons undone.
19. Why did the golfer bring his Lucky Charm cereal to the course? So he could get the best shot possible with his Lucky Charms.
20. How do golfers keep their golf balls from getting lost in the rough? By using their “fore”-sight.

Par for the Course: Hilarious and Witty Funny Golfing One-Liner Jokes

1. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to the course? In case he got a hole in one!
2. Why don’t golfers ever tell jokes on the course? They might drive you crazy!
3. Did you hear about the golfer who got attacked by bees? He had a pretty bad slice!
4. What does a golfer use to fix his hair on the course? Irons!
5. Why do golfers always carry a pencil with them? In case they get a hole-in-one, they can write it down!
6. How do you make a golfer laugh? Hit him with a club!
7. What’s a golfer’s favorite type of club? A sandwich!
8. Did you hear about the golfer who lost his shirt on the course? He couldn’t afford to replace his hole-in-one!
9. What do you call a group of golfers talking about their game? A putt-putt support group!
10. Why did the golfer make his caddy carry an umbrella? In case he shot a hole-in-one, he’d need to make it rain!
11. What did the golfer say when he missed a shot by inches? “I puttered out!”
12. How do golfers stay cool on the course? They play in the shade of their golf bags!
13. What’s a golfer’s favorite kind of music? Swing music!
14. Why did the golfer get so mad at his caddy? Because he kept yelling “fore” instead of “hole-in-one!”
15. What did the golf ball say to the club? “You drive me crazy!”
16. What’s a golfer’s favorite dance move? The bogey woogie!
17. Why did the golfer bring a ladder to the course? To reach the high tees!
18. What do golfers wear to stay warm in the winter? Frockets!
19. How does a golfer get rid of hiccups? He plays a round of putt-putt!
20. What did the golfer say after he hit a hole-in-one? “That’s un-fore-gettable!”

Fore Sure: QnA Jokes & Puns about Golfing That Will Have You Tee-hee-ing

1. Q: Why did the golfer need a new caddy? A: Because he couldn’t keep up with the pace!
2. Q: What do you call a golfer who spends all their time in the water hazards? A: A water hazard-ous!
3. Q: What did the golf ball say to the club? A: “You drive me crazy!”
4. Q: Why did the golfer put on two pairs of pants? A: In case he got a hole in one!
5. Q: What is a golfer’s favorite type of music? A: Swing music, of course!
6. Q: What did the golf pro say to the beginner? A: “It takes a lot of balls to play golf like a pro.”
7. Q: Why did the golfer only bring two golf balls to the course? A: Because they were having a tee party!
8. Q: What do you call a golfer with no friends? A: A “fore”lorn!
9. Q: Why did the golfer avoid playing on windy days? A: Because he didn’t want to be teed off!
10. Q: What do you get when you cross a snake with a golf club? A: A hole in one!
11. Q: What did the golfer say when he missed his putt? A: “I’m putting for birdie, not parakeet!”
12. Q: Why was the golf club sad? A: It was feeling “putt”-y.
13. Q: What do you call a golfer who never quits? A: A hole-in-oneder!
14. Q: What do you call a golfer’s favorite phone app? A: “Fore”-mula for success!
15. Q: What’s a golfer’s favorite workout? A: Cross-fit, because they love getting a good “swinging” action!
16. Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of shoes to the course? A: One for putting and one for “hitting”!
17. Q: What’s a golfer’s favorite Halloween costume? A: A “ghost” golfer, because they’re always searching for their balls!
18. Q: Why did the golfer bring a ladder to the course? A: To improve their “elevation” game!
19. Q: What did the golfer say when they got a hole in one? A: “I finally made it into the Clubs’ Hall of Fame!”
20. Q: What’s a golf ball’s favorite dessert? A: A slice of “slice” pie!

Fore the Love of Laughter: Dad Jokes about Golfing

1. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
2. What did the golfer say when he missed his putt? “That was a swing and a miss-take!”
3. Why is golf the best sport for vampires? Because it’s all about getting holes in one!
4. How do you know when a golfer is getting serious? They start using a nine iron instead of a wedge!
5. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one and a hole in two!
6. What do you call a group of golfers who can’t keep their balls on the green? A slice of life!
7. What do you call a golfer who can’t make a single putt? A hole in one’s confidence!
8. Why did the golfer bring a pencil to the course? So he could draw his own line of defense!
9. What’s a golfer’s favorite animal? The hole in one-dog!
10. How do you catch a golf ball? With a fishing wedge!
11. What’s a golfer’s favorite type of music? Swing!
12. Why are golfers always so calm and collected? Because they know how to keep their cool under par!
13. Why was the golfer considered the best stand-up comedian? Because he was always driving for laughs!
14. What do you call a golfer who can’t seem to hit the ball straight? A slice of life!
15. Did you hear about the golfer who was afraid of hitting trees on the course? He had a case of the irons!
16. What did the golf ball say to the driver? “I like your drive!”
17. Why are golfers bad at gardening? They’re always in the rough!
18. Did you hear about the golfer who kept hitting his ball into the water? He was having a rough time!
19. What do you call a golfer who can’t seem to hit the ball straight? A slice of life!
20. Why are golfers always carrying extra socks? In case they get a hole in one!

Swinging for Laughs: Funny Quotes about Golfing

1. “Golf: the only sport where it’s acceptable to wear a fancy outfit and drive around in a cart.”
2. “Golf is just a really frustrating way to walk through a pretty park.”
3. “Golf is like a love affair, it can be full of ups and downs, but you keep coming back for more.”
4. “Golf is the perfect excuse to day-drink and ride around in a little cart.”
5. “Golf: where divots are created with a club and not by clumsy pedestrians.”
6. “Golf is just a fancy way of saying ‘I’m going to hit this tiny ball with a stick until it goes in that tiny hole.’
7. “When I said I wanted to improve my golf game, I didn’t mean by adding more water hazards.”
8. “Golf is the only sport where you can simultaneously enjoy nature and yell profanities at a tiny white ball.”
9. “My golf game is like a bad Netflix series, I keep watching even though it’s going nowhere.”
10. “Golf: the sport that makes even the most successful CEO feel like a beginner.”
11. “Golf is a great way to ruin a good walk, but at least you can do it in style.”
12. “If golf is your passion, consider yourself lucky because you’ll never run out of excuses for a bad game.”
13. “Golf is not just a game, it’s a test of patience and self-control. And let’s just say, I’m flunking that test.”
14. “Golf balls are like money, they have no value until you lose them.”
15. “Golf tip: when you hit a bad shot, blame the club. It’s not like it can defend itself.”
16. “Golf is the only place where it’s perfectly acceptable to wear plaid and argyle at the same time.”
17. “They say golf is a gentleman’s game, but I’ve seen some pretty impressive tantrums on the course.”
18. “Golf may not be a matter of life or death, but when you’re in the rough, it sure feels like it.”
19. “Golf: the one sport where you can pay hundreds of dollars to be miserable for 5 hours.”
20. “Golf is just a fancy way of saying ‘I have a lot of disposable income and zero hand-eye coordination’.”

Fore-sightfully funny: Hilarious Golfing Proverbs & Wise Sayings

1. “A bad golfer blames their club, a wise one learns to blame the wind.”
2. “Golf is like life, you just have to learn to play the hand you’re dealt… or the shot from the rough.”
3. “As a golfer, it’s better to hit the ball out of bounds than to never hit it at all.”
4. “The beauty of golf is that even on your worst day, you still get to enjoy a nice walk in the park.”
5. “Golfers always have to watch their balls… both on and off the course.”
6. “A wise golfer knows the game isn’t just about hitting a perfect shot, it’s about recovering from a not-so-perfect one.”
7. “The beauty of golf is that it’s the one place where you can yell “FORE!” and not get in trouble.”
8. “In golf, slow and steady doesn’t win the race… but it does save you from a lot of lost balls.”
9. “They say practice makes perfect, but with golf, it just makes you better at finding your balls in the woods.”
10. “The definition of insanity: playing the same par 3 over and over again, expecting a different result.”
11. “Golf is like a marriage, full of ups and downs, but you can always count on a good back nine.”
12. “A true golfer never blames their caddy, but they might consider firing them after a particularly bad round.”
13. “It’s not how many strokes you take, it’s how many laughs you have along the way.”
14. “Golf: the only sport where it’s acceptable to wear a plaid skirt.”
15. “A golf ball has a dimpled surface to reduce resistance in flight… yet we still manage to hit it into every tree, sand trap, and water hazard.”
16. “Golf is a game of inches, especially when it comes to the distance between a good shot and a bad one.”
17. “They say the early bird catches the worm, but the early golfer just catches a lot of dew on their shoes.”
18. “Golf etiquette: keep your head down, your temper in check, and your scorecard in the trash.”
19. “In golf, the only thing scarier than a water hazard is a golfer with a sand wedge in their hand.”
20. “They say golf is easy, it’s just a matter of hitting a small, stationary ball into a tiny hole… on opposite ends of a 500-yard field.”

Par for the Course: Mastering ‘Golfing’ Double Entendres Puns

1. “I hit a hole in one last night… with my golf swing!”
2. “My caddy always tees me up for a good time.”
3. “I love golf, but I’m really just in it for the balls.”
4. “Foreplay is just like golf – it’s all about the precision and technique.”
5. “I don’t always hit my drives straight, but I always aim for a hole in one.”
6. “Nothing gets me more excited than the sound of a club hitting a ball.”
7. “I’m a pro at scoring… birdies, that is.”
8. “I may not be a pro golfer, but I can definitely handle my wood.”
9. “Golfing is like a marriage – it takes patience, dedication, and sometimes a few mulligans.”
10. “I may not have a great backswing, but I’ve got a killer follow through.”
11. “The best thing about golf is getting to conquer every hole.”
12. “Sometimes my putts get so long, they need their own zip code.”
13. “Golfing is the only sport where you can get a hole in one without your partner knowing.”
14. “I may not have a great handicap, but I make up for it with my charm and wit.”
15. “A bad day on the course is still better than a good day at work.”
16. “My putting skills are out of this world… they’re on par with aliens.”
17. “I may not be Tiger Woods, but I can still lay up like a pro.”
18. “Golfing is like life – sometimes you get a lucky bounce, other times it’s just a big slice.”
19. “They say you shouldn’t play favorites, but I have to admit, my 9 iron holds a special place in my heart.”
20. “I don’t always put for birdie, but when I do, I prefer Dos Putt-ies.”

Swing into Laughter with These Recursive Puns about Golfing

1. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to the course? In case he got a hole-in-one!
2. I told my caddy I wanted to write a book about golf. He said, “What’s the title?” I replied, “Hole-y Cow!”
3. What did the tree say to the golfer? I’m rooting for you!
4. Did you hear about the golfer who got a job at the zoo? He was really good at teeing off on the mounds.
5. Why were the golf clubs bored? They were tired of being stuck in a rut.
6. How do you turn a golfer into a workaholic? Give them a hole-in-one to shoot for.
7. What did the golfer say when they got sick of playing in the rain? “This is really driving me crazy.”
8. Why was the golf ball sad? Because its round of golf was over.
9. What did the golfer say when they reached the end of the course? “I can’t wait to tee off again tomorrow.”
10. Why was the golfer terrible at keeping a job? They were always putting in their two weeks notice.
11. How did the golfer fix their slice? They used a can of peas to work on their backswing.
12. What did the duck say when he went golfing with his friends? “I’m ducking out after this round.”
13. How do you catch a golf ball? With a golf net!
14. What’s a golfer’s favorite kind of snack? Hole-in-oneycomb cereal.
15. Why couldn’t the golfer keep their eyes off the green? It was love at first sight.
16. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants to the course? They heard it was a double bogey day.
17. What did the golfer say when their ball landed in the sand trap? “I guess I’m in a whole lot of trouble.”
18. How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb? Four – one to hold the ladder and three to argue about the best approach.
19. Why did the golfer bring a wrench to the course? In case they had a case of the shanks.
20. What did the golfer say when their ball landed on the cart path? “I guess you could say I’m on the road to par.”

Fore-sight or Fore-swing? Tom Swifties Take a Shot at ‘Golfing’

1. “I just hit a hole-in-one,” Tom golfed supremely.
2. “I can’t believe I lost my ball again,” Tom sliced pitifully.
3. “I have a new set of clubs,” Tom ironed confidently.
4. “Fore!” Tom shouted, teeing off poorly.
5. “I sunk it from the bunker,” Tom sandblasted triumphantly.
6. “I’m using a new grip for this shot,” Tom putt-putted mayhaps.
7. “Aim for the flag,” Tom flagged blatantly.
8. “My caddy said to use a 5-wood,” Tom wooded hesitantly.
9. “This green is like a putting carpet,” Tom carpeted smoothly.
10. “My swing is a work of art,” Tom chipped arty-craftily.
11. “I might need a mulligan for this one,” Tom mulliganned regretfully.
12. “I think I sprained my wrist on that last swing,” Tom twisted painfully.
13. “I need a new golf glove,” Tom griped handily.
14. “Those golfers in front of us are so slow,” Tom drove impatiently.
15. “This course is challenging,” Tom parred realistically.
16. “I’m not feeling well, I might have to call it a day,” Tom retired weakly.
17. “I have to avoid that water hazard,” Tom avoided liquidly.
18. “My golf cart just ran out of gas,” Tom carted off awkwardly.
19. “I think I hit a bird with my tee shot,” Tom birdied sadly.
20. “I can’t believe I’m playing golf in the rain,” Tom downpoured miserably.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? A golf ball. A golf ball who? A golf ball doesn’t knock, but it sure can drive you crazy!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tee. Tee who? Tee up for a hole-in-one!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chip. Chip who? Chip, chip, hooray for your amazing golf skills!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fairway. Fairway who? Fairway to drive that ball straight into the cup!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Putter. Putter who? Putter be careful, you might hit a birdie!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Slice. Slice who? Slice to meet you on the green!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Caddy. Caddy who? Caddyshack, anyone?
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bunker. Bunker who? Bunker down, it’s time to tee off!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Iron. Iron who? Ironing out your golf game one swing at a time.
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mulligan. Mulligan who? Mulligan over and let’s play another round.
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Eagle. Eagle who? Eagles soar and so will you on the golf course.
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Divot. Divot who? Divot get too rough on the green!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hook. Hook who? Hooked on golfing and loving every moment.
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fore. Fore who? Fore get about your bad shots, just enjoy the game!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Club. Club who? Clubhouse, here we come!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Putterfly. Putterfly who? Putterfly in my swing, makes me look silly!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Caddynshack. Caddynshack who? Caddynshack up your golf skills and have fun.
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Birdie. Birdie who? Birdie told me that you’re an ace golfer.
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bogey. Bogey who? Bogey time to get back to the course.
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cart. Cart who? Cart-y party after this round?
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Golf ball. Golf ball who? Golf balls don’t have names, but yours just made it into the hole!

Fore-Get the Right Words: Laugh at These ‘Golfing’ Malapropisms!

1. “I have a bad case of golfer’s truck- the urge to drive my cart all over the course!”
2. “Don’t worry, I’ll just use my putty knife to fix this divvy.”
3. “I’m playing like a real prostates today.”
4. “I need to work on my fairway-strong game.”
5. “Watch out for that sand-pot! It’s full of hazard sauce.”
6. “I can’t get my putter down, I have a bad caulk in my swing.”
7. “Fore-sight is the key to a good golf game.”
8. “I just got a hole-in-bun!”
9. “Looks like I need to refinance my grip on this club.”
10. “I hit that ball so far, it’s like it went into another degreens!”
11. “I think I need to upgrade my irons to something a little more wieldy.”
12. “Oh no, I teed off into a frog bog!”
13. “I’m suffering from a bad case of the yipsy-doodles.”
14. “Watch out for those green-side bunkers, they’re filled with sand castle creatures.”
15. “My caddy told me to put some stink-oil on my ball, but I think he meant sinker oil.”
16. “I’m putting with my driver today, it’s an unconvincing putter.”
17. “Golfing is just glorified, fancy hoes-throwing, if you ask me.”
18. “I’m using my sand-wedge for this rough patch here.”
19. “My handicap is my inability to read the break-fast on these greens.”
20. “I always hook the ball. I must have permanent duck-hookosis.”

Fore-sure Fun: Spoonerisms about Golfing

1. “Golf Club” becomes “Cuff Glove”
2. “Tee Time” becomes “Time Tee”
3. “Golf Cart” becomes “Cart Golf”
4. “Eagle Putt” becomes “Pagle Eutt”
5. “Bunker Shot” becomes “Shunker Bot”
6. “Fairway” becomes “Airfay”
7. “Hole in One” becomes “One in Hole”
8. “Driving Range” becomes “Riving Dange”
9. “Golf Ball” becomes “Ball Golf”
10. “Par 3” becomes “3 Par”
11. “Caddy” becomes “Daddy”
12. “Sand Trap” becomes “Trand Sap”
13. “Putt Putt” becomes “Putt Pup”
14. “Golf Pro” becomes “Pro Golf”
15. “Water Hazard” becomes “Hater Wazard”
16. “Mulligan” becomes “Mulligun”
17. “Swing Sequence” becomes “Sequence Swing”
18. “Flagstick” becomes “Stickflag”
19. “Gimme Putt” becomes “Putt Gimme”
20. “Golf Course” becomes “Course Golf”

Fore-Get Me Not, These Golfing Puns Par-ty!

Well folks, that concludes our tee-rific ride through over 230 golfing puns and jokes. We hope we didn’t drive you too far away from the green with our constant stream of humor. But don’t putt those chuckles away just yet, be sure to check out our other posts on all things punny and jokey. Trust us, it’s a hole in one for your funny bone. Remember, when life gives you lemons, grab your nine iron and make a hole in lemon one. Happy golfing!