Laugh Your Way Green: 230+ Hilarious Jokes and Puns about the Color Green

Welcome to the greenest post on the internet – where our jokes are as fresh as a newly mowed lawn and as green as an avocado smoothie. We’ve rounded up the best puns about the color green that are sure to make you crack a smile (or maybe even let out a little weed giggle). These jokes are perfect for kids (and kids at heart) who love a good laugh. So get ready to let out a leafy chuckle and dive into our list of clever and positive green jokes. Trust us, they’ll have you green with laughter!

Get Your Laughs in Full Bloom with these ‘Green’ Editor’s Picks for Puns & Jokes!

1. Why did the lettuce go to therapy? It had a lot of emotional baggage.
2. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up in a salad bowl.
3. What did the broccoli say to the cauliflower? You better shape up or I’ll steamroll you.
4. Why did the apple turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
5. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
6. Why was the green pepper jealous of the red pepper? It was jalapeño business.
7. How do you make a fruit punch? Give it a good squeeze.
8. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
9. What do you call an avocado that’s always late? The guac of shame.
10. Why did the vegetable go to the doctor? It was feeling beet.
11. What do you call a lazy cabbage? A couch potato.
12. Why did the onion break up with the garlic? It just wasn’t a good garlic onion, sorry!
13. What did the carrot say to the onion? You’re making me cry!
14. Why was the lettuce blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing.
15. What do you get when a pickle and a cucumber have a baby? A dill-ightful surprise.
16. How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
17. Why didn’t the tomato want to go out with the jalapeño? It was feeling spicy enough on its own.
18. Why did the orange turn purple? It was grapefruited with its life.
19. What do you call an alligator wearing a vest made of lettuce? A salad gator.
20. Why did the grape go out with the raisin? Because the grape was feelin’ nostalgic.

Sprinkle Some Humor with These Hilariously Eco-Friendly One-Liners

1. Why did the tree go to the doctor? He was feeling elm.
2. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
3. Did you hear about the scarecrow who won an award? He was outstanding in his field.
4. My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a joke about compost. I told him it wasn’t something I wanted to soil myself with.
5. I used to be addicted to soap operas, but I’m clean now.
6. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
7. My dad, a retired magician, recently pulled a hamstring. Now he’s known as “The Sorecerer.”
8. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? They woke up.
9. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
10. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
11. I have a fear of elevators. I’m taking steps to avoid them.
12. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense!
13. The grape said to the banana, “You’re appealing.”
14. I used to work for a soft drink can crushing company. It was soda-pressing.
15. Did you hear about the man who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He’s lucky it was a soft drink.
16. I tried to make a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
17. My wife told me to sweep the kitchen floor, so I took a selfie with the broom and captioned it “Swept off my feet.”
18. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
19. Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu, you get what you deserve.
20. Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.

Greenspire to make you laugh with these QnA Jokes & Puns about ‘Green’!

1. Why did the frog turn red instead of green? He was too embarrassed to show off his green color!
2. What do you call a group of broccoli who are always late? The stalk holders!
3. How does a leaf get a job? It gets photosynTHESIS!
4. What is a tree’s favorite social media platform? Timber!
5. Why are green apples always so petty? They’re always feeling a little sour!
6. What do you call a funny vegetable that is green and rhymes with lemon? A fun cucumber!
7. What did the earth say when it turned green? “I’m going through a growth spurt!”
8. How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste!
9. Why are caterpillars afraid of Fridays? Because they’ll turn into butterfly!
10. How do you know if a tree is an actress? She’s always branching out.
11. Why was the pea sent to detention? For being a little green troublemaker.
12. What do you call an onion that’s not in a hurry? A sloooooow onion.
13. How do trees get on the internet? They log in.
14. What did one blade of grass say to the other? Don’t leaf me, bro!
15. Why don’t potatoes make good detectives? They always get mashed in intense situations.
16. What’s the best way to communicate with a vegetable? Use a courgette-cell phone.
17. What did the celery say when it broke up with the carrot? We just weren’t meant to be (spice) mates.
18. How do plants greet each other? With a leaf-five!
19. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
20. What do you call a party for green vegetables? A quinoa rave!

Funny Foliage: Dad Jokes about Green That Are Sure to Leaf You Laughing

1. Why was the grass green? Because it was a little green monster.
2. I bought a new shade of green paint for our house, but I’m not sure if it’ll be a hue-hit or a hue-miss.
3. Did you hear about the tree that got arrested? It was charged with tree-son.
4. What is a frog’s favorite color? Ribbit green!
5. Why was the lettuce blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing!
6. I tried to make a joke about green vegetables, but it just didn’t kale-tivate the audience.
7. Why was the green pepper feeling down? Because it was jalapeño business.
8. I asked my friend to bring me something green to eat, and he handed me a bag of Skittles. I said, “those are colorful, but not really what I had in kale-mind.”
9. Did you know that all plants come from the same family? That’s why they’re all so down-to-earth.
10. How do plants get their caffeine? They drink tea-trees!
11. Why did the cucumber turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
12. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
13. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An inVESTigator.
14. Did you hear about the restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu – you get what you deserve.
15. I used to hate facial hair… But then it grew on me.
16. Where do cows go on date night? The mooooo-vies.
17. I named my dog “5 miles” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.
18. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
19. What type of shoes do frogs wear? Open-toad sandals.
20. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.

Going Green Has Never Been Funnier: Hilariously Clever Quotes About Being Eco-Friendly

1. “Money may not grow on trees, but I swear I’ve seen some green leaves on my credit card statement.”
2. “Green is the color of envy, but I’m not jealous. I mean, have you seen the amount of kale people eat nowadays?”
3. “My favorite color is green. Or should I say, my bank account’s favorite color is green.”
4. “I never understood why people say ‘green with envy’ when it’s clearly purple with jealousy.”
5. “Money doesn’t grow on trees, but it certainly disappears like leaves in the fall.”
6. “I asked my plant doctor why my plants keep dying. He said to give them some green tea. So now my plants are well-hydrated caffeine addicts.”
7. “I have a love-hate relationship with green smoothies. I love the idea of being healthy, but hate the taste of grass.”
8. “Green with envy? More like green with regret for choosing this ugly color to paint my living room.”
9. “Mother Nature must really love green, because she keeps making everything turn this color every spring.”
10. “They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a really nice slice of avocado toast.”
11. “Green tea is the answer to all my problems. It might not solve them, but it definitely calms me down.”
12. “The only thing greener than my smoothie is my face after drinking it.”
13. “Going green? I’m not sure if it’s about saving the planet or just trying to fit into my skinny jeans.”
14. “I gave up trying to have a green thumb. Now I just stick to plastic plants and call it eco-friendly.”
15. “Green is my favorite color, but I must admit that red makes me feel fiery and dangerous.”
16. “The grass is always greener on the other side because they have better sprinkler systems.”
17. “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving my energy for when I have to sort the recycling.”
18. “I don’t always shop at Whole Foods, but when I do, I make sure my reusable bags match my outfit.”
19. “If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have so many branches?”
20. “My therapist told me to surround myself with plants to reduce stress. Little did she know, I kill every plant I touch.”

Save the planet, laugh at these funny proverbs and wise sayings about ‘green’!

1. A green thumb is just a polite way of saying you have too many houseplants.
2. The grass is always greener when you don’t have to mow it.
3. Money doesn’t grow on trees, but it sure is green!
4. A day without green juice is like a day without sunshine – empty and depressing.
5. It’s not easy being green, but it sure is trendy.
6. A fool and his money are soon parted… especially if they spend it all on organic produce.
7. You can lead a person to a compost bin, but you can’t make them use it.
8. Green is the new black, but organic cotton is still more expensive.
9. One man’s trash is another man’s overpriced vintage compost bin.
10. Reduce, reuse, recycle… but let’s add “and regift” to that list.
11. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a reusable water bottle, and that’s pretty close.
12. Eat your greens – preferably in the form of a delicious smoothie with a hidden scoop of chocolate ice cream.
13. The early bird gets the worm, but the smart bird brings a reusable tote to carry it home in.
14. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again… or just pay someone to do it for you.
15. There’s no such thing as a free lunch, but there is such thing as a free refill on your soda (as long as you bring your own cup).
16. You can catch more bees with honey than vinegar – but you can catch the most with a freshly bloomed flower garden.
17. Beauty is only skin deep, but a compost pile goes all the way to the Earth’s core.
18. Don’t count your chickens before they hatch – or your organic eggs before they expire.
19. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade… but make sure to use a biodegradable cup.
20. The only thing more satisfying than having a perfectly green lawn is watching your neighbor’s perfectly green lawn turn brown in a drought.

Sprouting a Laugh with these Green Double Entendres Puns

1. “I’m feeling so eco-conscious, I only eat green beansprouts now.”
2. “I tried to teach my lawn to grow green, but it just kept giving me the grass face.”
3. “I heard my spinach yelling ‘lettuce’ out in pain, but I just didn’t carrot all.”
4. “My friend told me she was turning over a new leaf, but it turned out she was just recycling.”
5. “I thought my kale was making a joke about being organic, but it turned out it was just a laughing stock.”
6. “After eating all the green M&M’s, I realized I was on a diet of chromatic.”
7. “Going green is great, except for when you accidentally mistake your spinach smoothie for a lawn mowing mixture.”
8. “Adding vegetables to my sandwich really gives it that extra pun-ch of flavor.”
9. “I asked the lizard why he only ate green bugs, he told me he was trying to watch his waistline.”
10. “My parsley and I are on the same wavelength, I think we’re soul-mates.”
11. “I noticed my broccoli was feeling a little down, so I told it to ‘kale’ its mood.”
12. “I try to be environmentally friendly by carpooling, unless I’m in a pickle and then I cabbage alone.”
13. “I couldn’t believe it when my lawn told me a joke about photosynthesis, it was so corny.”
14. “I started to grow my own herb garden, but it was just too much of a thyme commitment.”
15. “My friend told me she was going green, but then she showed up to our date in a watermelon costume.”
16. “I was going to make vegetable puns, but then I realized they were too corny.”
17. “You know what they say, you can’t make green tea without leaves-ing.”
18. “My lettuce knew it was going to get creamed in the salad dressing, so it bolted.”
19. “I thought my avocado was telling me an enlightening joke, but it was just a lit-tuce pun.”
20. “I went on a juice cleanse, but all I got was a celery phone and a beet red face.”

Sprouting Hilarity: Recursive Puns about Greenery

1. Why couldn’t the plant ride the rollercoaster? Because it was too green-sick!
2. What do you get when you cross a tree and a math problem? A recursive leaf!
3. I’m trying to quit my addiction to plants, but it’s a real green-aissance.
4. Why did the frog feel guilty? He was feeling green with envy.
5. Don’t leaf me hanging, tell me your favorite green jokes!
6. Why did the salad have low self-esteem? It was always getting tossed.
7. I’ll only tell jokes about green vegetables – they’re always corny.
8. Did you hear about the tree that won the marathon? It really aced the leaf-run.
9. What do you call a forgetful gardener? A green-ior moment.
10. My favorite color is green, it makes me feel so lawn-ly.
11. Why did the plant go to therapy? It was feeling a bit fern-ly.
12. The lettuce was feeling down, so I told it to romaine calm!
13. What do you call a green ghost? A boogi-green.
14. What’s the best way to communicate with a tree? By woodland texting.
15. Why couldn’t the broccoli go to the party? It had no body to go with.
16. Why did the cucumber laugh? Because it saw the salad dressing.
17. What do you get when you cross a vegetable with a famous comedian? A kale-tastic jokester.
18. How do you know when a vegetable is done working out? When it’s beet red.
19. What did the celery say when it broke up with the carrot? “We just don’t make a good couple, we’re too stalk-y.”
20. How do vegetables get around town? By using their celery-mobile.

Gardening Can be a Just “Green” Tom Swifties Adventure!

1. “I love recycling,” Tom said wastefully.
2. “These veggies are from my garden,” said Tom organically.
3. “I’m feeling environmentally conscious,” Tom said earthily.
4. “I’m going to plant some trees today,” Tom said rootfully.
5. “I think I’ll take the bus instead,” Tom said transitively.
6. “I need to compost these leftovers,” Tom said decayingly.
7. “I’m going to buy a hybrid car,” Tom said fuelishly.
8. “I’m off to join an environmental protest,” Tom said radically.
9. “I’m feeling the urge to hug a tree,” Tom said sappily.
10. “I’m going to turn down the thermostat,” Tom said chillily.
11. “I just bought a reusable water bottle,” Tom said conservatively.
12. “I think I’ll try biking to work,” Tom said pedantically.
13. “I’m switching to energy-efficient light bulbs,” Tom said illuminatingly.
14. “I’m going to install solar panels on my roof,” Tom said sunnily.
15. “I’ll buy organic produce from now on,” Tom said healthily.
16. “I’m going to start composting,” Tom said decomposingly.
17. “I can’t believe people still use plastic bags,” Tom said baggingly.
18. “I’m going to reduce my carbon footprint,” Tom said footprintfully.
19. “I’m going to start buying locally grown food,” Tom said locally.
20. “I can’t stand wastefulness,” Tom said wastefully.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? A chilly green pepper with a hilarious punchline!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green with envy because I’m not a joke!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s too green to stand outside!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Broccoli. Broccoli who? Broccoli be knocking, let me in!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive green is my favorite color!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frog. Frog who? Frog-tten to wear my green shirt today!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pickle. Pickle who? Pickles are my go-to green snack!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leprechaun. Leprechaun who? Leprechaun out of green clothing, can I borrow some?
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cactus. Cactus who? Cactus is green, it must be a new species!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lime. Lime who? Lime not very good at telling jokes, but I’m green-us!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hulk. Hulk who? Hulk SMASH that green button!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shamrock. Shamrock who? Sham-rocking these jokes!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kale. Kale who? Kale me maybe!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Banana yellow, but I love green too!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kiwi. Kiwi who? Kiwi get a laugh out of you!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive oil. Olive oil who? O-Live green and keep it clean!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cucumber. Cucumber who? Cucumber green and delicious, try one!
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Emerald. Emerald who? Emerald me the password to your Wi-Fi!
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mint. Mint who? Mint to be the funniest joke you’ve heard!
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Avocado. Avocado who? Avocado toast is so last year, but I’m still green!
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce turnip the beet. Lettuce turnip the beet who? Lettuce turnip the green and have a good time!

Going for the ‘Green’ with Hilarious Malapropisms

1. Salad-of-the-Earth: instead of “salt-of-the-earth”
2. Vegetating: instead of “venerating”
3. Grassroots-movement: instead of “grassroots”
4. Tree-cursion: instead of “excursion”
5. Corn-versation: instead of “conversation”
6. Crop-block: instead of “roadblock”
7. Eco-munism: instead of “communism”
8. Fern-atic: instead of “fanatic”
9. Eco-friendly-fire: instead of “friendly fire”
10. Herb-friendly: instead of “user-friendly”
11. Green-lightening: instead of “green-light”
12. Pollen-tician: instead of “politician”
13. Garden-variety: instead of “run-of-the-mill”
14. Renewable-energy: instead of “renewable-energy”
15. Soil-searching: instead of “soul-searching”
16. Butterfly-effect: instead of “butterfly-effect”
17. Rootin’ for the Environment: instead of “rooting for”
18. Leaf-off: instead of “take-off”
19. Green-thumbbellina: instead of “belle of the ball”
20. Com-posting: instead of “complaining”

Grin and Breen: A Playful Spin on Spoonerisms about Green

1. Green Fingers – Feen Gringers
2. Green Bean – Been Green
3. Greenhouse – House Green
4. Green Tea – Teen Gre

Going Green? Prepare to Laugh ‘Til It’s Evergreen!

Well, folks, it looks like we’ve reached the end of our green-themed pun journey. We hope you enjoyed all 230+ puns and jokes and found a few that made you laugh until you turned green. Don’t forget to check out our other pun and joke posts for some more belly-shaking humor. And always remember, when it comes to puns, the grass is always greener on the witty side. Thanks for reading and keep on punning!