230+ Hair-larious Jokes and Puns: Finding the Perfect Cut of Humor!

funny Hair jokes with one liner clever Hair puns at PunnyFunny.com

Welcome to the best list of hair jokes/puns about hair! Whether you have luscious locks or a wild mane, we’ve got some clever and humorous jokes that will have you and your kids in stitches. From frizzy puns to snip-tastic humor, get ready for some follicle-fueled laughter. And don’t worry, these jokes are sure to comb back any bad hair day vibes. So without further ado, let’s get to the funny hair business!

Hair today, puns forever: Our top picks for hilarious hair jokes and puns – Editor’s Picks!

  1. Why couldn’t the hairdresser go to the zoo? Because they couldn’t bear to shear any animals!
  2. Did you hear about the hair stylist who only cut bangs? She was known as the fringe-iest of them all.
  3. Why did the bald man put a comb on his head? Because he wanted to brush up on his looks!
  4. What do you call a ponytail that has been held together by a bobby pin? A hair-piece!
  5. Did you hear about the hairdresser who won the hair-styling competition? She was on a comb-petition winning streak!
  6. How does the hair on a bald man’s head stay in place? It stays attached by sheer willpower!
  7. What did the hair extensions say when they were asked if they wanted to go to the party? “We’ll just hang in there!”
  8. Why did the hairdresser get upset when she saw a sculpture made of hair? Because it was a cut above the rest.
  9. What did the hair say to the hat? You keep me covered, I’ve got you covered.
  10. Why did the hairdresser go to the candy store? She was looking for some Sweet Hair-erts!
  11. What do you get when you cross a hair stylist and a dentist? A molar canister!
  12. How do you make a hairstyle last all day? Give it a hairspray-down before you start the day!
  13. What do you call a skeleton with perfect hair? A bone-o-fide beauty!
  14. Did you hear about the bald man who got a hair transplant? He was a-head of the game!
  15. What does a hairstylist use to section off hair for coloring? A Clip-hanger!
  16. Why did the blonde get her hair cut every day? Because she was always looking for a new dye-vorce!
  17. What did the shampoo say to the conditioner? Don’t get too attached, I’m just gonna rinse and repeat!
  18. How does a hairdresser make a French braid? With lots of par-isci-ty and a steady hand!
  19. What do you call a hair salon that only cuts children’s hair? A tot-al make-over salon!
  20. What do you call a hairdresser who also plays guitar? A rock-stylist!

Tickle your follicles with these collection of amusing ‘Hair’ one-liners!

  1. I just realized that dating a hairdresser is a risky business – they might curl up and dye at any moment.
  2. Don’t you just love bad hair days? They give us the perfect excuse for our wild and untamed looks.
  3. My barber told me I needed a new haircut, but I think he’s just trying to trim some of my earnings.
  4. Why did the bald man put a sweater on his head? Because he wanted to cover his bare head.
  5. When the hairdresser asked me if I wanted my hair layered, I said no thanks, I prefer it flat like my ex’s personality.
  6. I saw a guy with a mullet today and had to resist the urge to yell out “business in the front, party in the back!”
  7. A ponytail is just an excuse to have a little party in the back.
  8. Why was the hairdresser always ready to leave work early? Because she was always looking for a shortcut.
  9. People say blondes have more fun, but I think bald guys are having a ball!
  10. They say a good haircut can change your life, but for me, it just changes my appearance for a few weeks.
  11. My hair is like a summer romance – it looks great at first, but then it gets frizzy and unruly.
  12. Why did the hairdresser quit her job? She couldn’t handle the split ends.
  13. What do you call a hairdresser who always has bad hair days? A frizz-ter.
  14. I accidentally cut off all my hair while trying to follow a DIY tutorial… I soon realized it was a tutorial on how to make paper snowflakes.
  15. I tried to give myself a haircut, but it ended up looking like I fought with Edward Scissorhands.
  16. My hair gets curlier as I go through life – just like the receipts in my wallet.
  17. I asked the hairdresser for a dramatic transformation, so she showed me a mirror with my before and after photos side by side.
  18. Did you hear about the barber who got arrested? Turns out he was part of an illegal fringe operation.
  19. My hair is so thin, I could use it as floss if I wanted to.
  20. I don’t trust hairdressers with scissors – they always seem to be two steps away from a hair-accident.

Get Ready to Split Hairs with These Hilarious QnA Jokes & Puns about Hair

  1. Why was the hairdresser arrested? She was a clipperperpetrator.
  2. What did the bald man say when he got a hair transplant? Hair-ticulate!
  3. Why did the man go to the hair salon with a ladder? He wanted a new hair-raising style.
  4. How does a barber make his coffee? He uses a perci-hairlator.
  5. Why did the person have a bad hair day? They were having a bad hare day.
  6. What did one strand of hair say to the other? I’ll shampoo, you condition.
  7. Did you hear about the hairdresser who got fired? She was always cutting corners.
  8. Why did the shampoo bottle go to counseling? He had split ends.
  9. How do hair stylists celebrate their birthdays? They have a blowout party.
  10. Why did the wig get arrested? It was caught trying to flee the scene.
  11. What do you call a hairdresser who is also a comedian? A trim-edian.
  12. Why was the hair salon vacuum cleaner so popular? It had major suctional-ity.
  13. What’s the best way to get a man’s attention at a hair salon? By yelling, “Hey guys, look at me!”
  14. Why did the ponytail go to the therapist? It was feeling a bit tied up.
  15. How did the hairdresser make extra money during the holidays? She offered mistle-toe trims.
  16. What did the bald man say when he got a wig? Hair today, gone tomorrow!
  17. Why did the man keep cutting his own hair at home? He was trying to save some split-endz.
  18. What do you call a cow with no hair? Bovine without-hairing-nation.
  19. Why did the hairstylist always have a lot of bobby pins? She was a hair-tycoon.
  20. How does a barber cut the ocean’s hair? With a wave-length razor.

Dad Jokes about Hair That Will Leave You In Stitches

  1. Why was the hair afraid of the barber? Because it knew it was going to be cut off!
  2. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
  3. Did you hear about the bald man who won a comb in a contest? He said it was a close shave.
  4. My wife asked me to pass her a hair tie, but I accidentally gave her a hairdryer. Now she’s blow-drying her ponytail.
  5. What did the hair stylist say to his son when he asked how to style his hair? Just comb-over and I’ll show you.
  6. Why couldn’t the bicycle sit still? Because it was always on the goatee.
  7. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  8. Did you hear about the bald eagle who couldn’t find a mate? He was featherless.
  9. My bald friends never need to buy shampoo, but they do spend a fortune on hair combs.
  10. What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I’ll never part with it.
  11. Why did the bald man put lipstick on his head? To make up for his lack of hair.
  12. Two beards were in a race. Who won? The one who was best whiskered!
  13. How does a barber cut the moon’s hair? Eclipse it.
  14. My wife said she was going to cut my hair and I said, “But I just got a buzz cut last week.” She replied, “Well, you’ll just have to curl up and deal with it.”
  15. Why do mermaids have long hair? They don’t have a fin to brush it with.
  16. What did the hair say when it was offered a comb? Sorry, I’m already well-groomed.
  17. I took my toupee to the beach, but it kept blowing away. I guess you could say it was a wig and miss situation.
  18. A snake asked a porcupine, “Can I use your comb?” The porcupine replied, “Sorry, I only have quills.”
  19. I told my hair follicles to stop growing, but they’re a stubborn bunch.
  20. Why did the hair get arrested? It was caught curling.

Tress-ted and Confessed: Hilarious Hair Quotes!

  1. “I woke up like this…disheveled, tangled, and in desperate need of a hairbrush.”
  2. “I don’t have bad hair days, I have unexpected hair adventures.”
  3. “I tried to get my hair to cooperate, but it gave me attitude instead.”
  4. “My hair may not always be perfect, but at least it’s never boring.”
  5. “Sorry, I can’t hear you over the volume of my hair.”
  6. “The only thing messier than my life is my bed head.”
  7. “I don’t have split ends, I have multiple personality strands.”
  8. “I never trust someone with a perfect hairline, they’re probably hiding something.”
  9. “My hair is like a mood ring, it changes color depending on how much sleep I got.”
  10. “May your hair be as messy as your life and as fabulous as your dreams.”
  11. “I’m not high maintenance, I just have a lot of hair needs.”
  12. “My hair and I are in a committed relationship, we’re just going through a rough patch.”
  13. “My hair has a mind of its own, and it’s clearly plotting against me.”
  14. “I don’t need therapy, I just need a new hair color.”
  15. “I’m not naturally blonde, this hair color comes with a monthly subscription.”
  16. “I’ve achieved the impossible, I found a hair tie that’s not lost or stretched out.”
  17. “I tried to follow a hairstyle tutorial, ended up looking like a science experiment gone wrong.”
  18. “I could probably rule the world if I didn’t have to deal with bad hair days.”
  19. “The best hair days are the ones where no one sees you and your hair looks amazing.”
  20. “My hair straightener is hotter than my ex-boyfriend, and it never lets me down.”

Splitting Hairs, Both Literally and Figuratively: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Hair

  1. “A bad hair day is just nature’s way of telling you to stay in bed.”
  2. “A full head of hair is a sign of intelligence, but a receding hairline is a sign of wisdom.”
  3. “Never trust a bald man with a comb.”
  4. “A man who spends too much time on his hair has no time for his brain.”
  5. “Life is short, but your hair doesn’t have to be.”
  6. “A bad haircut is like a bad relationship – it takes time to grow out of it.”
  7. “Hairdressers are like magicians – they can turn a mess into a masterpiece.”
  8. “Always choose a hairstyle that makes you feel like a rockstar, even if you can’t sing.”
  9. “You can tell a lot about a person by the way they style their hair – messy hair, messy life.”
  10. “Hairspray may hold your hair in place, but only true love will hold your heart.”
  11. “A man’s hair is his crown, but sometimes he forgets to wear it.”
  12. “Life is too short for boring hair. It’s also too short for drama.”
  13. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but a good hairdresser can make everyone beautiful.”
  14. “A man who can pull off a mullet is a man who has nothing left to lose.”
  15. “They say blondes have more fun, but redheads have more personality.”
  16. “Hair today, gone tomorrow – invest in a wig.”
  17. “A bad haircut is like a bad wine – it only gets better with time.”
  18. “If you want to know the truth, always ask a hairstylist.”
  19. “A good haircut is like a good bra – it can change your whole outlook.”
  20. “Just like pizza, even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.”

Mane-taining the Laughter: Hair-raising Double Entendres and Punny Moments

  1. “I don’t always brush my hair, but when I do, it’s with a bottle of wine.”
  2. “I might be having a bad hair day, but at least I didn’t forget to put on pants.”
  3. “I used to have a lot of hair, but then I took an arrow to the knee.”
  4. “They say blondes have more fun, but I’d rather have more hair.”
  5. “I was going to donate my hair to charity, but then I realized I could just give them my ex’s phone number.”
  6. “My hair may be short, but my sass is long.”
  7. “I can’t make my hair go away, but I can make my ex disappear.”
  8. “I’m not balding, my hair is just migrating south for the winter.”
  9. “My hair might be a mess, but at least my life is together…said no one ever.”
  10. “They say you should never go to bed angry, but my hair disagrees.”
  11. “My hair has a mind of its own, and unfortunately, it’s a blonde.”
  12. “I can either style my hair or hit the snooze button, never both.”
  13. “My hair has more split ends than a divorce court.”
  14. “I straightened my hair for this occasion, but it went back to being curly as soon as I stepped outside.”
  15. “My hair is like my life, a constant messy bun.”
  16. “There’s only one thing I love more than eating pizza, and that’s a good hair day.”
  17. “My hair is not just a tangled mess, it’s a masterpiece.”
  18. “I was going to chop off all my hair, but then I remembered how much I love ponytails.”
  19. “My hair is like my bank account, it only looks good at the beginning of the month.”
  20. “I got my hair done and suddenly I feel like I can take on the world…or at least my laundry.”

Lock ‘Hair’ and Loaded with Hilarious Recursive Puns

  1. Why did the barber win the race? Because he knew how to cut hair-past the finish line!
  2. What did the bald man say when his wig fell off? “I’m falling hair-d over heels!”
  3. Why did the hairdresser get fired from the drumming band? Because she kept cutting the bangs on the cymbals!
  4. What do you call a bald eagle with a good sense of humor? A hilarious hairodynamic eagle!
  5. How does a hairdresser make her coffee? With a little bit of cream and a latte of foamy hair!
  6. Why did the magician go to the hair salon? He needed a few backstage hair-tricks up his sleeve!
  7. How do you make a bad hair day disappear? With a little bit of magic and a hair-apy session!
  8. What do you call a hairstyle that travels around the world? A hairotic adventure!
  9. Why did the conditioner go to therapy? It was feeling split-ends out of control!
  10. How does a barber keep his hair so perfect? With a shear talent and a lot of hair-flection!
  11. Why did the hipster get fired from the barbershop? He couldn’t handle the trendy new haircuts-they were too cutting edge!
  12. What do you call a magical potion that turns hair into gold? A follicle elixir!
  13. How does a hairdresser get to work? By taking the curl-y cue train!
  14. Why was the barber always running late? He had a lot of hair-occasions to attend!
  15. What did one strand of hair say to the other? “I think I’m being followed by a split-end!”
  16. How does a hairdresser greet her clients? With a big smile and a hearty hair-lo!
  17. Why was the hairdresser so good at braiding hair? She had a lot of practice-doing it over and over again!
  18. What do you call a comedian’s haircut? A hair-larious trim!
  19. How do you know when it’s time to get a haircut? When your bedhead turns into a hair-moan!
  20. Why was the hairdresser always happy with her work? She had a lot of good hair days-recursively building her confidence!

Luscious Locks and Clever Quips: Hair Tom Swifties to Make You Giggle

  1. “I’ll give you a trim,” he said baldly.
  2. “I dye for this color,” she said hair-risly.
  3. “I’m having a bad hair day,” he said unhairingly.
  4. “I can’t handle all these frizzies,” she said hair-raisingly.
  5. “I need a new style,” she said out of hair.
  6. “I’m cutting my own bangs,” she said hair-foolishly.
  7. “I’ll wash my hair tomorrow,” he said sham-poo-ishly.
  8. “I’m feeling a little greasy,” she said oily hair-ppily.
  9. “I’m not a morning person, my hair isn’t either,” she said mussed-hair-edly.
  10. “I’m trying to grow my hair out,” he said hair-fully.
  11. “I’ll use my curling iron,” she said flipping her hair tantalizingly.
  12. “I’ll have to straighten this mess,” he said defurly.
  13. “I’ll put my hair in a ponytail,” she said grooming-ly.
  14. “I’ll braid my hair for a change,” she said plaitfully.
  15. “I’m getting a new haircut,” he said root-abestly.
  16. “I heard bangs are making a comeback,” she said foreheadedly.
  17. “I’ll go for the messy look,” he said tousled-hair-edly.
  18. “My hair will never cooperate,” she said head-a-knot-tingly.
  19. “I’ll use extra hold hairspray,” he said spritz-hair-fly.
  20. “I’ll go for the beachy waves,” she said wavy-haired-ly.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hairy. Hairy who? Hairy up and listen to these hair-larious knock-knock jokes!

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hair. Hair who? Hair-we-go!
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and brush your hair!
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hairy. Hairy who? Hairy up and style your hair!
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Blonde. Blonde who? Blonde hair, don’t care!
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Curly. Curly who? Curly hair, don’t care!
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ponytail. Ponytail who? Ponytail me a joke about hair!
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bald. Bald who? Bald is beautiful, don’t be shy!
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tangled. Tangled who? Tangled hair, don’t despair!
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gray. Gray who? Gray hair, don’t care!
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frizzy. Frizzy who? Frizzy hair, don’t worry!
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Extensions. Extensions who? Extensions make my hair fabulous!
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mohawk. Mohawk who? Mohawkward, this joke isn’t working.
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dye. Dye who? Dyeing to change my hair color!
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bangs. Bangs who? Bangs for the memories.
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bob. Bob who? Bob for apples, bob for a new hairstyle!
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bald eagle. Bald eagle who? Bald eagle, do you want to borrow my wig?
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Split ends. Split ends who? Split ends of hair, unite!
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Beard. Beard who? Beard-er think about getting a haircut!
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rapunzel. Rapunzel who? Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mullet. Mullet who? Mullet over and maybe cut your hair!

Hairifyingly Hilarious: Playing with Words through Hair Malapropisms

  1. “I need to shave my beeve” (instead of “beard”)
  2. “I can’t stand this frizziness, I need to iron my ha-ha” (instead of “hair”)
  3. “I’ll have a bleached salmon salad, extra filing fee on top” (instead of “highlight”)
  4. “My hair is so knotty, it’s like a tangled marketer’s web” (instead of “mess”)
  5. “You should really get a wavy audition this weekend” (instead of “perm”)
  6. “I just got a fresh fade of flowers” (instead of “haircut”)
  7. “I need to deep fry my bun, it’s looking too flimsy” (instead of “condition”)
  8. “I’m thinking of going for the wet heap look” (instead of “sleek”)
  9. “This shampoo is supposed to give me extra body, but it just feels like I have a bunch of straws on my head” (instead of “volume”)
  10. “I tried to put my hair in a bun but it ended up looking like a squirrel’s nest” (instead of “messy”)
  11. “I’m getting my hair did this afternoon” (instead of “done”)
  12. “I can’t get a good swoop going today, maybe I need more egg hair product” (instead of “gel”)
  13. “I’m thinking of getting a Nick Cage-style salon treatment” (instead of “buzz cut”)
  14. “My hair is so greasy, it’s like I took a dip in a butter tub” (instead of “oily”)
  15. “I love my new loblah, it’s so chic” (instead of “lob”)
  16. “I need to tame this humidity with some anti-depressing spray” (instead of “frizz”)
  17. “If my hair continues to grow at this rate, I’ll need a cervical transplant” (instead of “hair transplant”)
  18. “I’m going for the spa look today, need to straighten my curls” (instead of “curls”)
  19. “I’ll have a side of crispy extension with my dye job” (instead of “highlights”)
  20. “I need to cover up these gray wolves before my meeting” (instead of “hairs”)

Hair-raising Spoonerisms: Mane Mistakes and Follicle Funnies!

  1. “Hair Spray” becomes “Hare Spray”
  2. “Haircut” becomes “Air Hut”
  3. “Hairbrush” becomes “Brush Hair”
  4. “Hairdo” becomes “Dair Ho”
  5. “Hair Tie” becomes “Tare High”
  6. “Hair Extensions” becomes “Air Ex-Hairstions”
  7. “Hair Loss” becomes “Lair Hoss”
  8. “Hair Gel” becomes “Gair Hell”
  9. “Hair Color” becomes “Cair Holor”
  10. “Hair Salon” becomes “Sair Halon”
  11. “Hair Follicles” becomes “Fair Hollicles”
  12. “Hairpin” becomes “Pair Hin”
  13. “Hair Growth” becomes “Gair Hrowth”
  14. “Hairline” becomes “Lair Hine”
  15. “Hair Band” becomes “Bair Hand”
  16. “Hair Mask” becomes “Mair Hask”
  17. “Hair Dryer” becomes “Dair Hyer”
  18. “Hair Extensions” becomes “Ex-Hair Tensions”
  19. “Hair Straightener” becomes “Strair Haightener”
  20. “Haircutting” becomes “Cut Hairing”

Cut It Out: Laughing Our Way In-hair-tainment

Now that you’ve had your daily dose of hair-raising laughter, why not check out our other pun and joke posts? We guarantee they’ll make you mane-tain a smile on your face. Don’t wig out, keep scrolling for more hilarious hair puns and jokes. And remember, hair today, gone tomorrow, so enjoy these puns while you still can! Thanks for comb-ing by!

Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com

PunnyFunny Team

I'm Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com, where I and my team share the best puns and jokes with the world. My passion for original humor drives me to create content that keeps everyone smiling. As a dedicated humorist, I've made PunnyFunny.com a haven for those who love a good laugh, just like me. Explore my Best Puns & Jokes collection.

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