Trick or Always Treat: 230+ Halloween Jokes & Puns for a Spooktacular Time!

Hey there, fellow joke enthusiasts! Halloween is just around the corner, which means it’s time to get into the spooky spirit. And what better way to do that than with some hilarious Halloween jokes and puns? These clever and positive puns about Halloween will have you cackling like a witch and howling like a werewolf. So gather the little monsters and get ready for a list of the best jokes for kids (and adults, too!). Get ready for some wickedly funny Halloween humor, because this post is going to be a real scream!

Spooktacularly Funny: Halloween Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

1. What did the ghost say when it walked into a bar? “I’ll have a BOOze, please!”
2. Why was the skeleton bad at tennis? Because he had no body to play with!
3. What do you call a pumpkin who plays sports? A squash player.
4. Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath!
5. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Booberry pie!
6. How do ghosts like their eggs cooked? Terror-fried.
7. Why did the mummy go to college? He wanted to get a degree in wrappings!
8. What do you call a skeleton who won’t eat his vegetables? A bonehead.
9. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
10. How do you fix a broken Jack-O-Lantern? With a pumpkin patch!
11. What happened when the werewolf ate the Halloween candy? He got a hair-raising stomachache!
12. Why was the pumpkin sad? It had a gourd day.
13. What did the vampire say to his girlfriend? “You light up my after-life.”
14. What’s a ghost’s favorite type of music? Soul music!
15. Why did the skeleton refuse to jump off the diving board? Because he didn’t have the guts to do it!
16. How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle his funny bone.
17. What do you call a haunted chicken? A poltergoost.
18. Why did the zombie go to the doctor? He wasn’t feeling very well, he said he had the “un-living-dead flu.”
19. What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling!
20. How do you make a vampire laugh? Tell him a Fang-tastic joke!

Spooktacularly Funny: Halloween One-Liner Jokes That Will Haunt Your Funny Bone

1. Why did the ghost refuse to eat the Halloween candy? Because it was already dead sweet.
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
3. What did the skeleton say to the bartender? I’ll have a beer and a mop.
4. Why couldn’t the vampire play cards? Because he kept getting a stake in his hand.
5. How do you turn a Jack-O-Lantern into a disco ball? Put a pumpkin patch on it.
6. Why was the mummy so nosy? Because he was all wrapped up in other people’s business.
7. What happened when the werewolf ate a clock? He got ticked off.
8. Why did the zombie go to the doctor? He was feeling a little dead inside.
9. What did the spider say to the fly on Halloween? Trick or treat, buzz off!
10. How do you make a witch itch? Take away her broom.
11. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with.
12. How does a ghost keep his hair in place? With scare-spray.
13. What do you call two witches living together? Broommates.
14. How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
15. Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the dance? He had no body to dance with.
16. How does a vampire sleep? In a coffin.
17. What’s a monster’s favorite dessert? Ice-scream!
18. Why did the ghost go on a diet? He needed to cut out the boos.
19. How do you know if a haunted house is for sale? It comes with a ghost-imates.
20. Why did the zombie refuse to eat vegetables? He was afraid of becoming a zom-beetle.

Get a Ghoul-t laugh with these QnA Halloween Jokes & Puns!

1. Why did the ghost go trick-or-treating alone? He had no ghoul-friends to go with.
2. How does a vampire start a letter? “Tomb it may concern…”
3. Why couldn’t the skeleton get a date to the Halloween party? He had no body to go with.
4. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. But on Halloween, they call it an im-pumpkin.
5. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.
6. Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid to unwind.
7. What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
8. How does a witch stay organized? She keeps her cauldron-der control.
9. Why do ghosts go to bars? For the boos.
10. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood-orange.
11. How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle its funny bone.
12. Why was the werewolf so popular? He was a howl-er on the dance floor.
13. Why did the zombie go to the party alone? He was afraid to bring a date and have them think he was a deadbeat.
14. How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
15. Why didn’t the skeleton want to go trick-or-treating? He didn’t have the guts for it.
16. How do you make a witch itch? Take off the “w”.
17. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.
18. Why do vampires have to brush their teeth before bedtime? To prevent bat breath.
19. What is a ghost’s favorite fruit? Boo-berries.
20. How does a skeleton call his friends? On his trom-bone.

Spooktacularly Silly: Dad Jokes about Halloween

1. Why did the skeleton refuse to go to the Halloween party? Because he had no body to go with!
2. I’m dressing up as a ghost this Halloween. I plan on haunting all of the restaurants with no outdoor seating.
3. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
4. What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
5. Why did the pumpkin turn orange? Because it saw the farmer’s ‘hot’ daughter.
6. Why did Dracula quit his job at the blood bank? He was tired of working the graveyard shift.
7. Why didn’t the skeleton go trick-or-treating? He didn’t have the guts.
8. What song does a monster sing on Halloween? “I want to suck your blood!”
9. Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
10. Why did the vampire get fired from his job as a waiter? He kept spilling the drinks.
11. Why don’t ghosts like rain on Halloween? It dampens their spirits.
12. How do you make a skeleton laugh? You tickle its funny bone.
13. Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the dance? He had no body to dance with.
14. What is a ghost’s favorite ride at the amusement park? The roller-ghoster!
15. Why did the vampire go to the doctor? Because he was coffin.
16. What do ghosts drink at breakfast? Coffee with a side of ghost toast.
17. What do you call a ghost’s mom and dad? Transparent-y and Parent-y.
18. How do you make a witch itch? Take away the “w.”
19. Why do witches wear name tags? So they can spell their names correctly.
20. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!

Laugh Through the Spooky Season: Funny Quotes about Halloween

1. “Halloween is the one night a year where it’s acceptable to go around scaring people and demanding candy. Wait, isn’t that just being a politician?”
2. “Trick or treating is the only time when you can yell ‘Beetlejuice’ three times and get away with it.”
3. “Nothing says ‘Happy Halloween’ like toilet papering your neighbor’s house.”
4. “I don’t need a costume for Halloween, I’m always dressed as a witch.”
5. “If you see a vampire on Halloween, don’t worry, it’s probably just a dentist without their fangs in.”
6. “Why bother wearing a costume for Halloween when you can just wear your Snuggie and be a couch potato?”
7. “Halloween is the only time of year where people willingly give you candy for looking like a fool.”
8. “Sorry to disappoint, but my Halloween costume isn’t a ghost, I’m just really pale.”
9. “My Halloween decorations consist of turning off all the lights and pretending I’m not home.”
10. “Forget the sexy Halloween costumes, I just want one that won’t give me a wedgie all night.”
11. “Halloween is my excuse to eat candy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”
12. “If someone asks what I’m dressing up as for Halloween, I’ll just tell them ‘an adult with no plans’.”
13. “Halloween is the only day where it’s socially acceptable for adults to play dress up and act like kids.”
14. “Pumpkin carving is like trying to perform surgery on a vegetable while wearing oven mitts.”
15. “Halloween is the perfect time to let out your inner crazy cat lady.”
16. “I’m not afraid of ghosts and ghouls on Halloween, it’s my bank account after buying all this candy that terrifies me.”
17. “My Halloween costume this year is inspired by Netflix, I’ll just be ‘chilling’ on my couch in my pajamas.”
18. “Halloween isn’t just for kids, it’s also a great excuse for adults to stock up on discounted candy the day after.”
19. “Halloween tip: if you’re too lazy to carve a pumpkin, just draw a face on it with a sharpie and call it modern art.”
20. “The only thing scarier than Halloween decorations is my electricity bill in December after all those spooky lights.”

Trick or Treat Yourself to These Hilarious Halloween Proverbs & Sayings

1. ) “A candy a day keeps the monsters away, but a candy coma brings them back in full force.”
2. ) “Halloween may be scary, but have you ever tried to assemble Ikea furniture?”
3. ) “Witches be brewin’, but moms be stressin’ over their kids’ costumes.”
4. ) “If you think Halloween is scary, try walking through a haunted house with a full bladder.”
5. ) “Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat…or else.”
6. ) “A ghost is just a sheet with commitment issues.”
7. ) “Pumpkin spice and everything nice…until you add rum.”
8. ) “Zombies are just people who haven’t had their coffee yet.”
9. ) “Halloween is the one day a year when you can be yourself…or someone else entirely.”
10. ) “The only thing scarier than Halloween decorations is the Christmas ones that appear in stores before October is even over.”
11. ) “Witches fly on brooms, but moms fly on sheer determination.”
12. ) “Halloween is the one time of year when it’s acceptable for adults to eat an entire bag of candy in one sitting.”
13. ) “Ghosts are just shy people trying to make friends…from the afterlife.”
14. ) “Every day is Halloween for a drama queen.”
15. ) “Skeletons may seem scary, but they’re just supporting their own weight.”
16. ) “The real monsters on Halloween? Those teenagers who show up at your door with no costumes and a pillowcase for candy.”
17. ) “Candy corn: the forgotten vegetable of Halloween.”
18. ) “Halloween: where pumpkin spice lattes and horror movies reign supreme.”
19. ) “Why do ghosts hate rain? Because it dampens their spirits.”
20. ) “Being an adult on Halloween means buying your own candy and pretending to be excited when no one comes to your door.”

Trick or Tease: Halloween’s Best Double Entendres Puns!

1. “Why did the ghost go to rehab? He was addicted to boo-ze.”
2. “What do you call a pumpkin who can’t swim? A sinkin’ gourd.”
3. “Why did the mummy call his girlfriend? He wanted to wrap his arms around her.”
4. “What instrument do zombies play? The trom-BONE.”
5. “Why did the vampire go to therapy? He had a bat-itude problem.”
6. “What do you call a werewolf’s favorite vegetable? A hair-rot.”
7. “Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the party? He had no-body to go with.”
8. “What did the witches serve at their party? Spook-etti and eyeballs.”
9. “Why did the zombie go to the doctor? He was feeling a little brain-dead.”
10. “What do you get when you cross a black cat and a lemon? A sour-puss.”
11. “Why did the ghost get into trouble at school? He was caught passing spirit notes.”
12. “What does a vampire use to clean his castle? A broom-stein.”
13. “Why did the skeleton get so mad at the werewolf? He kept rib-biting him.”
14. “What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? Boo-ries.”
15. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.”
16. “How does a ghost keep his hair in place? With scare-spray.”
17. “What did the witch do when she ran out of eye of newt? She used eye of new-new.”
18. “What’s a pumpkin’s favorite workout? Gourd-geous curls.”
19. “Why did the frankenstein monster go on a diet? He wanted to fit into his old bolts and stitches.”
20. “What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.”

Trick or ‘Treat Yo-Self’: Recursive Puns about Halloween

1. “Why couldn’t the ghost have a girlfriend? He just couldn’t seem to make a boo-tiful connection.”
2. “I tried making a compost bin with all my old Halloween pumpkins, but it just ended up being a jack-o-lantern recursion.”
3. “What do you get when you mix a vampire and a mummy? A bloody bandage-sucking fiend.”
4. “Why did the skeleton refuse to go to the Halloween party? He had no body to go with.”
5. “How did the zombie fix his broken hand? With a grave-digging shovel.”
6. “I wanted to dress up as a scary clown, but my costume was just a circus of horrors.”
7. “Why did the witch’s potion explode? It couldn’t handle that much brew-tality.”
8. “Why did the pumpkin avoid the pie contest? It didn’t want to be gourd-ed by the competition.”
9. “Did you hear about the haunted house that had a ghost shortage? They were just too ghoul for school.”
10. “What do you call a skeleton who won’t stop laughing? A humerus bonehead.”
11. “Why did the vampire go to therapy? He couldn’t seem to break his coffin addiction.”
12. “What do you get when you cross Frankenstein’s monster with a flower? A monster bouquet.”
13. “Why did the werewolf go on a diet? He wanted to be a little more wolf-lean and mean.”
14. “What do you call a ghost that wants to find love? A phantom of the dating scene.”
15. “Why did the mummy quit his job? Too many people were just giving him the runaround.”
16. “Why did the witch’s potion taste so bitter? She accidentally added too much eye of newt.”
17. “What do you get when you combine a skeleton and a pumpkin? A real bone-chilling surprise.”
18. “Why did the zombie open a brain-themed restaurant? Because he wanted to make a killing in the food industry.”
19. “What do ghosts eat for breakfast? Booberries and milk.”
20. “Why did the werewolf get kicked out of his sports league? He was too good at foul play.”

Halloween Tom Swifties: A Spooky Twist on Classic Puns!

1. “I can’t believe I lost my broom,” said the witch, flying off in a huff.
2. “This costume is so scary, it’s making me batty,” said the vampire.
3. “I just saw a ghost!” said Tom, white as a sheet.
4. “I’m so excited for Halloween, I could just cackle,” said the witch.
5. “I can’t participate in the hayride, I’m allergic to hay,” sneezed Tom.
6. “This haunted house gives me goosebumps,” said the scaredy-cat.
7. “My pumpkin carving skills are a cut above the rest,” said Tom with a smirk.
8. “I can’t decide what to dress up as for Halloween,” said the indecisive ghost.
9. “I need to use the bathroom, these apple bobbing contests are taking too long,” whined Tom.
10. “I’m not afraid of anything,” boasted the brave trick-or-treater.
11. “This graveyard is giving me the creeps!” exclaimed Tom, shaking in his boots.
12. “I can’t go to the Halloween party, I’ve got a severe case of FOMO,” said the werewolf.
13. “I’m having a monster of a time getting these decorations to stay up,” grumbled Tom.
14. “I can’t go to the Halloween parade, I’m all out of candy corn,” said the disappointed kid.
15. “I’m lurking in the shadows waiting for my moment to scare,” whispered the ghost.
16. “I need to go home and check on my cauldron before it boils over,” said the witch with urgency.
17. “I love going to the pumpkin patch, it’s my gourd-eous tradition,” said Tom with a smile.
18. “I can’t believe I forgot my costume,” said the mummy, all wrapped up in stress.
19. “I want to be a zombie for Halloween, but I’m not sure I could pull it off,” said Tom.
20. “I can’t go through this corn maze, I’m claustrophobic,” said the anxious pumpkin.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t be scared, it’s just a Halloween knock-knock joke!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ghost. Ghost who? Ghost out and get some candy for Halloween!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch way to the party?!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Vampire. Vampire who? Vampire at the door, can I come in for some treats?
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t be scared, it’s just me dressed up for Halloween!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Zombie. Zombie who? Zombie-tastic costume you have there!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ghoul. Ghoul who? Ghoul your pumpkin carving skills never cease to amaze me!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mummy. Mummy who? Mummy-doesn’t like being left out of the Halloween fun!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Werewolf. Werewolf who? Werewolf at the moon, howling for some candy!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frankenstein. Frankenstein who? Frankenstein your jack-o-lantern is the best one on the block!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Skeleton. Skeleton who? Skeletons love Halloween because they can just be themselves!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Trick. Trick who? Trick or treat, give me something good to eat!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Goblin. Goblin who? Goblin up all the candy, that’s what I do on Halloween!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Broom. Broom who? Broom on over and join the Halloween fun!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pumpkin. Pumpkin who? Pumpkin spice and everything spooky, it’s Halloween!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cauldron. Cauldron who? Cauldron up some potions and spells for a scary night!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Black cat. Black cat who? Black cat crossing your path, don’t be scared, it’s just Halloween!
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Grim Reaper. Grim Reaper who? Grim Reaper-senting my Halloween costume for your approval!
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Haunted. Haunted who? Haunted-mansion one street over, let’s go check it out!
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Eerie. Eerie who? Eerie-sistible costume you have there!
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Halloween. Halloween who? Halloween night is the greatest night to dress up and have fun!

Spook-tacularly Hilarious Halloween Malapropisms

1. “Trick or sheet” instead of “trick or treat”
2. “Ghastly pants” instead of “ghostly haunts”
3. “Bobbing for fiends” instead of “bobbing for apples”
4. “Haunted housewife” instead of “houseguest”
5. “Fangled fright” instead of “fang-filled night”
6. “Candy goblins” instead of “candy corn”
7. “Wicked weeds” instead of “witch’s brew”
8. “Creepy cookies” instead of “creepy crawlers”
9. “Mummies and daddies” instead of “mommy and daddy”
10. “Hocus focus” instead of “hocus pocus”
11. “Vampire cape-tain” instead of “captain”
12. “Scary-go-round” instead of “merry-go-round”
13. “Witchy weather” instead of “wintry weather”
14. “Skeleton keys” instead of “skeletons’ keys”
15. “Jack-o-lantern turnips” instead of “‘Jack-o-lantern pumpkins”
16. “Frightmare before Christmas” instead of “nightmare before Christmas”
17. “Grim reaper pepper” instead of “grape pepper”
18. “Cauldron of worm stew” instead of “pot of warm stew”
19. “Zombie apocalypse-cakes” instead of “zombie apocalypse”
20. “Franken-hallow-party” instead of “Halloween party.”

Hauntingly Hilarious Spoonerisms about Halloween

1. Pumpkin Bread – Bumpkin Pread
2. Trick or Treat – Tick or Trot
3. Skeleton Costume – Costton Skume
4. Ghostly Ghoul – Hostly Gool
5. Haunted House – Hanted Hoose
6. Witches’ Brew – Bitches’ Wrew
7. Black Cat – Clack Bat
8. Scary Clown – Cary Sclown
9. Candy Corn – Dandy Corn
10. Vampire Fangs – Fampire Vangs
11. Jack-o-Lantern – Lack-o-Jantern
12. Zombie Apocalypse – Mbombie Zocalypse
13. Mummy Wrap – Wummy Mrap
14. Spider Web – Wider Sped
15. Werewolf Howl – Herewolf Wowl
16. Witch’s Broom – Bitch’s Wroom
17. Monster Mash – Monster Mash
18. Halloween Party – Palloween Harty
19. Bat Wing – Wat Bing
20. Full Moon – Mool Foon

Happy Ha-ha-Halloween: A Puntastic Finale!

And with that, we come to the end of our spooky, silly pun-filled journey through Halloween. But fear not, my ghoulish friends, for there are plenty more puns and jokes to unearth in our other Halloween-inspired posts. So go ahead and click, cackle, and cackle some more as you devour these hilarious treats. Happy haunting!