110+ Hippo Jokes & Puns: You'll Say "Hippo-ray For These!"

Get ready to laugh your hippo-potamus off! You’ve stumbled upon the best list of hippo jokes and puns this side of the watering hole. We’ve got more clever wordplay than a hippo has teeth – and did you know they can have over 3,000! So, dive in and enjoy this hilarious collection of humor. We promise it’s positively un-hippo-critical!

Top Hippo Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Guaranteed to Make You Laugh

Hippo-ing you have a great day!
Just saw a hippo on a date. They were hippo-tized by each other.
What’s a hippo’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop, obviously.
Don’t be such a hippo-chondriac! I’m sure you’re fine.
That hippo really needed to loosen up. He was always so uptight-o-potamus.
The little hippo wanted to join the ballet, but he was too tutu young.
Never interrupt a hippo while they’re talking. It’s very rude-o-potamus.
The hippo got a job at the bank. He’s now a financial hippo-thetical.
Hippos are surprisingly good at hide and seek. They’re masters of hippo-crisy.
That hippo had a real chip on his shoulder. Must be a hippo-crit.
The hippo was a terrible speller. He always mixed up his hippo-poto-moose.
Feeling hippo-active today. Time for a swim!
That new restaurant has amazing hippo-themed decor. It’s very hippo-allergenic.
Saw a hippo wearing a monocle. Talk about a hippo-stocratic oath!

Funny Hippo Jokes With One Liner Clever Hippo Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny Hippo One-Liner Jokes: Guaranteed To Make You Laugh

You know, hippos are surprisingly good at hide-and-seek. They’re masters of hippo-crisy.
I met a hippopotamus at a tea party once. Very polite, but he made a terrible mess with the hippo-tea-mus.
Never judge a book by its cover, or a hippo by its hippo-thesis.
Did you hear about the hippo who became a rapper? He goes by Lil’ Hippo and his rhymes are off the dome-esticated animal charts.
Being a wildlife photographer is dangerous. Especially when you’re facing a hippo-critical situation.
What’s a hippo’s favorite kind of music? Anything with a good beat, they love to hippo-tify!
What do you get if you cross a hippo with an elk? I don’t know, but if you see one, you better elko-polate!
A hippo walks into a bar and orders a drink. As he’s paying, he pulls out a wad of wet cash. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t take hippo-currency here.”
My friend said he was going to open a hippo-themed cafe. I told him, “Sounds like a lot of hippo-caffeinating work!”
What’s large, gray, and doesn’t believe in Santa Claus? A hippo-critical.
I tried writing a children’s book about a friendly hippo, but all my ideas felt too hippo-polar.
My friend tried to convince me that hippos can fly. I told him, “That’s hippo-posterous!”
Why don’t hippos ever win arguments? Because they always have to have the last hippo-llooza.

QnA Jokes & Puns about Hippo: Laugh Till Your Stomach Goes Hippo-larious

Q: Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? A: Too many cheetahs… and one hippo-critical hippo always snitching!
Q: What do you call a hippo who’s always interrupting? A: A hippo-potamus-interruptus!
Q: Why was the baby hippo crying? A: He wanted his mommy to hippo-tize him to sleep.
Q: Why did the hippos get kicked out of the pool? A: They kept hippo-potaminating the water!
Q: How do hippos say “hello” on the phone? A: “Hippopo-hello-mus!”
Q: What do you call a one-legged hippo? A: A Hoppo-potamus!
Q: What’s a hippo’s favorite kind of music? A: Hip-hop, of course!
Q: What do you get if you cross a hippo with an elk? A: I don’t know, but you wouldn’t want to hear it whistle!
Q: Why don’t hippos make good ballet dancers? A: They’re always hippo-ing around!
Q: What did the hippo say when he got lost in the fog? A: “Well, this is hippo-thermic!”
Q: Why did the hippo cross the road? A: To prove he wasn’t chicken… he was a hippo-crit!
Q: What’s a hippo’s favorite game show? A: Wheel of For-tuna!
Q: What do you call a hippo that eats too much? A: A hippo-chondriac!
Q: Where do hippos go to college? A: The Universi-ty of Hippo-poto-mus!
Q: What did the ocean say to the hippo? A: Nothing, it just waved!
Q: What’s big, gray, and loves to sing in the shower? A: A hippo-pera singer!

Dad Jokes about Hippo: Prepare to be hippotized with laughter

What did the baby hippo say when it saw the dentist? “Tusk me anything!”
Where do hippos go to shop for furniture? Ikea… they love those hippo-pota-mus-t-haves!
Why did the hippo get lost in the kitchen? He couldn’t find the hippo-pot-amus!
My son wanted to know what a group of organized hippos is called… Apparently, it’s a hippo-cracy! Who knew?
You know, I’m not sure I believe hippos are herbivores… They seem kinda shady to me. Suspiciously hippo-critical!
My wife told me to take the spider webs down…instead of throwing them away. Now I have to deal with all this hippo-tenuse!
Ever tried to play hide and seek with a hippo? Good luck… they’re experts at hippo-ting!
Just saw a hippo wearing a turtleneck sweater… It was so hippo-notic!
What do you call a hippo that’s always losing its keys? Hippo-less!
What’s a hippo’s least favorite type of music? Anything with too much bass… they’re hippo-sensitive to loud noises!
Why are hippos so bad at poker? They get hippo-thermic under pressure!
Went to a zoo with only one dog… It was a real hippo-pooch-ondriac!
Why are hippos so good at water ballet? They’re always practicing their hippo-po-toeing!
I met a one-legged hippo at the zoo yesterday… He walked with a hippo-d-ty hop!
My friend said he wanted to become a hippo trainer… I told him, “Don’t get your hippo-es up just yet!”
Why did the hippo cross the road? No, seriously… he wouldn’t tell me! He just gave me this look like, “You wanna make something of it? I’m a hippo!”

Funny Quotes and Captions about Hippo: Guaranteed to Make You Laugh

“Don’t get your hopes hippo-high; they might just charge at you.”
“What do you call a hippo with a lisp? A hippopotomyth.”
“Life is like a hippopotamus: Enjoy the good times, weather the storms, and never, ever run out of snacks.”
“I tried to explain to my friend how big hippos are. I guess you could say it went right over his head.”
“My spirit animal is a hippo. Mostly chill, but will mess you up if provoked.”
“Just saw a hippo eating a salad. Guess he’s on a hippot-ato diet.”
“What’s a hippo’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop-popotamus, obviously.”
“Hippos prove that even with thick skin, you can still be sensitive about your weight.”
“I’m not saying I’m lazy, but I aspire to be as relaxed as a hippo in mud.”
“Never underestimate a hippo’s ability to nap. They take it very seriously.”
“Dating a hippo? Be prepared to share your food. And your space. And your entire ecosystem.”
“Hippos: Proof that you can be big-boned and still rock a killer water ballet routine.”
“Forget yoga, I’m starting ‘Hippo-asana’. Just lie in the water and breathe. Maybe eat some grass.”
“You know you’re in trouble when the only escape route involves outrunning a hippo.”
“Hippos are like water balloons, but instead of water it’s mostly muscle and attitude.”
“What’s a hippo’s favorite Shakespeare play? “A Midsummer Night’s Scream” (because they’re loud).
“Went on a safari. The hippos were surprisingly unfriendly. I guess they take social distancing very seriously.”

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Hippo: With a Splash of Humor

A hippo in the hand is worth two in the mud bath. (Twist on “A bird in the hand…” emphasizing hippo habitat)
Don’t judge a hippo by its wrinkles, but by the size of its yawn. (Playful take on judging appearances)
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a hippo healthy, wealthy, and wise… to stay away from crocodiles. (Humorous spin on productivity with a dash of predator awareness)
You can lead a hippo to water, but you can’t make it wear floaties. (Highlighting hippo stubbornness in a relatable way)
The early hippo catches the tastiest water lilies. (Similar to “Early bird gets the worm” but tailored to hippo diet)
Patience is a virtue, especially when sharing a mud wallow with twenty hippos. (Humorous connection between patience and cramped hippo lifestyle)
Where there’s a hippo, there’s a way… to make a big splash. (Play on “Where there’s a will” emphasizing hippo size and water)
Never underestimate the power of a hungry hippo, or a determined toddler. (Drawing a funny parallel between the two seemingly different forces)
A hippo’s home is its castle, complete with a moat and excellent acoustics. (Combining hippo territoriality with their love for water and loud vocalizations)
All that glitters is not gold, some of it is just hippo sweat in the sunlight. (Funny observation playing on hippo perspiration and its potential to sparkle)
A watched hippo never boils… over with anger (usually). (Tweaking “A watched pot never boils” with a hint of hippo temperament)
The only thing mightier than a charging hippo is a mother hippo protecting her calf. (Highlighting the immense strength and protectiveness of hippo mothers)
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get… unless you’re a hippo, then it’s mostly grass. (Humorous comparison with a nod to hippo diet)
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If life gives you hippos, stay in the boat. (A funny take on handling difficult situations, especially when dealing with potentially dangerous hippos)
Don’t put all your hippos in one river. (A humorous adaptation of “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket” relating to hippos and their habitat)
Good things come to those who wait, especially if they’re waiting for a hippo to move out of the way. (Playing on the slow, deliberate nature of hippos and highlighting the necessity of patience)

Hippo Double Entendres Puns: You Heard Them Here First!

“I told the hippo at the zoo he was looking quite slim. He said, ‘Thanks, I just hippo-tized myself into believing it!'” (Hypnotized/Hippo-tized)
“That hippo sure knows how to throw a party. He’s a real hippo-center of attention!” (Epicenter/Hippo-center)
“Don’t be a hippo-crite, you know you love wading in the mud too!” (Hypocrite/Hippo-crite)
“The hippo wanted to join the orchestra, but they said he was too tubby. Turns out, they only needed a hippo-tenuse.” (Hypotenuse/Hippo-tenuse)
“I tried to explain to the hippo that stealing food was wrong. He just gave me a hippo-critical look.” (Hypocritical/Hippo-critical)
“The hippo opened a bakery specializing in pastries. He called it ‘The Hippo-thesis is… Delicious!'” (Hypothesis/Hippo-thesis)
“That hippo’s got some serious dance moves. He’s a real hippo-notic groover!” (Hypnotic/Hippo-notic)
“The hippo chef added too much spice to his stew. It was a culinary hippo-strophe.” (Catastrophe/Hippo-strophe)
“Saw a hippo browsing the bookstore earlier. He was in the self-hippo section.” (Help/Hippo)
“The hippo was a talented painter, but he specialized in watercolors. He said it was his hippo-campus.” (Hippocampus – part of the brain associated with memory/Hippo-campus – a place where hippos hang out)
“The little hippo was afraid of the dark. He needed a nightlight to keep the hippo-chondriacs away.” (Hypochondriacs/Hippo-chondriacs)
“Never underestimate a hippo’s intelligence. They’re known for their hippo-thetical thinking.” (Hypothetical/Hippo-thetical)
“The hippo tried to write a mystery novel, but the ending was too obvious. It was a hippo-thetical case closed from the start.” (Hypothetical/Hippo-thetical)
“That hippo’s got an impressive vocabulary. He must have swallowed a hippo-saurus.” (Thesaurus/Hippo-saurus)
“I asked the hippo what his favorite genre of music was. He said, ‘Anything but hippo-hop.'”(Hip-hop/Hippo-hop)
“The hippo was feeling under the weather. He had a touch of the hippo-thermia.”(Hypothermia/Hippo-thermia)

Funny Hippo Tom Swifties: Jokes That Are Hippo-larious!

“I think the hippo escaped its enclosure,” Tom said hippo-critically.
“This hippo costume is itchy!” Tom said rashly.
“Don’t interrupt the hippo while it’s eating,” Tom said crossly.
“I wonder how much a baby hippo weighs,” Tom pondered heavily.
“That hippo looks like it needs a bath,” Tom said mudder-of-factly.
“These hippo facts are fascinating!” Tom exclaimed wildly.
“My, what big teeth you have!” Tom said to the hippo, nervously.
“That hippo really wants to be a ballerina,” Tom observed tutu-tively.
“The hippo went thattaway!” Tom declared, pointing to the river current-ly.
“Let’s go watch the hippos!” Tom said eagerly.
“I just saw a hippo yawn!” Tom said openly.
“That hippo really seems to like that other hippo,” Tom observed affectionately.
“Being a zookeeper for hippos is hard work!” Tom sighed, ex-hausted-ly.
“Watch out, the hippo is charging!” Tom shouted horsepower-fully.
“That inflatable hippo sure is buoyant,” Tom remarked float-ingly.
“I can’t believe the hippo ate all those plants!” Tom said hungrily.
“This hippo documentary is fascinating!” Tom said captivatingly.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Hippo for Kids

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hippo. Hippo who? Hippo-poto-moose! I’m just kidding, it’s me!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hippo. Hippo who? Hippo-ing you have a great day!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hippo. Hippo who? Hippo-crisy! I saw you eat that last cookie!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hippo. Hippo who? Hippo-tenuse! Geometry is fun! … Okay, maybe not.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hippo. Hippo who? Hippo-teria! Don’t worry, it’s just a little stage fright!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hippo. Hippo who? Hippo-chondriac! I swear, every time I hear a knock on the door…
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hippo. Hippo who? Hippo-notized by your beauty!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hippo. Hippo who? Hippo-allergic to boring conversations! Let’s spice things up!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hippo. Hippo who? Hippo-therapy! It’s like regular therapy, but with more adorable animals.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hippo. Hippo who? Hippo-campus calling! Remember to study for your exams!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hippo. Hippo who? Hippo-potamus be the life of the party!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hippo. Hippo who? Hippo-ing by to say hello!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hippo. Hippo who? Hippo-logy! It’s the study of happiness! And hippos, I guess.