Get Witchy With These 135+ Hocus Pocus Jokes & Puns

🎩✨Abracadabra and Alakazam, get ready for some Hocus Pocus puns that are right on the funny trickster nose! 🤪🎃We’ve put together a list of the best jokes for kids (and adults, let’s be real) that will leave you laughing like a 🧙‍♀️witch! From clever one-liners to positive play on words, these puns about Hocus Pocus are sure to tickle your funny bone. Get ready to be spellbound with our hilarious humor and dive into a world of magic and mischief! ✨👻

Top Tricks & Laughs: “Hocus Pocus” Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

“What does the spell book use to hold its place? A book-marking spell!” 🔮📚✨
“Why did the witch join the gym? To keep her broomstick figure!” 🧹💪🏼😂
“How does a witch tell time? With a sand-witch!” ⏳🧹🥪
“What do you call a group of witches playing music? A coven-tion!” 🔮🎼🎉
“Why did the zombie want to be a witch’s apprentice? To learn how to spell!” 🧟‍♂️🔠⚡️
“How does a witch keep her wardrobe organized? With a cauldron-ized closet!” 👗🧙‍♀️🕰
“What did the skeleton wear to the witch’s Halloween party? A skull-tastic cape!” 💀🎃👻
“Why was the mummy afraid to go trick-or-treating with the witch? He didn’t want to unwrap any hidden spells!” 🎃👻🔮
“How do you make a witch laugh? Give her a broom-stick!” 😂🧹👩‍🦳
“What do you call a witch who lives near the beach? A sand-witch!” 🏖🧙‍♀️🌊
“Why did the witch stop flying on her broomstick? It was driving her batty!” 🧹🦇💀
“What’s a ghost’s favorite Halloween movie? ‘Hocus Pocus and Chill’!” 👻💀🍿
“Why did the witch’s potion taste bad? She added too much ‘eye of newt’ and not enough ‘tooth of werewolf’!” 🧪🧛‍♂️🤢
“What did the witch say to the vampire on Halloween night? ‘Fangs for the memories’!” 🧛‍♂️🎃💜
“Why did the magician switch to being a witch? He wanted to add a little ‘hocus pocus’ to his act!” 🎩🔮🧙‍♂️

funny Hocus Pocus jokes with one liner clever Hocus Pocus puns at PunnyFunny.com

Get Spellbound by These Funny “Hocus Pocus” One-Liner Jokes

Why was the witch bad at flying a broomstick? Because she kept sweeping under the wrong spells! 🧹✨
What do you call a witch who lives in the desert? A sand-witch! 🌵🔮
Why did the ghost join the coven? Because she wanted to be the “Spir-it” Queen! 👻💫
How does a vampire stay hydrated? They “dracula” lot of blood! 🧛💉
Why did the zombie refuse to join the witch’s brew-making class? He didn’t want to “stir” up any trouble! 🧟‍♂️🍵
What do you get when you cross a witch with a snowman? Frost-bites! ❄️🔮
Why did the skeleton go to the séance? To “raise” some spirits! 💀👻
How does a witch keep her hair looking fabulous? With “spell” spray! 💁‍♀️✨
What do you call a witch who lives near the beach? A sand-hag! 🏖️🧙‍♀️
Why is the mummy always late for appointments? He’s always “wrapped” up in something! 🎁🧟‍♂️
What do you call a witch who loves gardening? A “plant”-iful! 🌿🧙‍♀️
How do you know if a witch is in a good mood? She’s “hex”-tra bubbly! 🧙‍♀️🧼
Why did the werewolf go to therapy? He needed help with his “howling” emotions! 🐺😭
How does a witch order her coffee? “Double, double, toil and trouble!” ☕🔮
What do you call a haunted house that’s always on the move? A “ghoul”ing van! 👻🚐

Spellbindingly Funny QnA Jokes & Puns about Hocus Pocus

Q: Why did the witch’s broomstick break? A: Because it was a “witchy business”!
Q: What did the witch say when she lost her spell book? A: “Oh, spell me out of this mess!”
Q: Why did the ghost invite the witch to the party? A: Because she’s “hocus-pocus” and he’s “ghost toast”!
Q: What do you call a group of witches playing hide and seek? A: “Hide and “cackle”!
Q: What did the witch use to sweep her cauldron? A: A “broom-stir”!
Q: How did the witch keep her hair in such perfect curls? A: She used a “spell-ing wand”!
Q: Why did the vampire refuse to watch “Hocus Pocus”? A: Because he heard it was a “frightmare”!
Q: What do you call a witch who lives by the beach? A: A “sand-witch”!
Q: What did the witch use to fix her broken broomstick? A: “Witch-it tape”!
Q: How do you know if a ghost is lying? A: Their pants are always “spook-y”!
Q: Why did the goblin switch sides and start helping the witches? A: Because he heard they had “goblin cookies”!
Q: What did the witch say when she saw a toad? A: “Ribbit yourself into my cauldron!”
Q: How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they prefer to “cast a spell” instead!
Q: What do you call a skeleton who loves “Hocus Pocus”? A: “Bone-anza”!
Q: Why did the zombie ask the witch to cast a love spell on him? A: Because he wanted to “zombi-nate” over someone!

Spellbindingly Funny: Dad Jokes about Hocus Pocus

Why did the zombie witch go to the gym? To work on her coven body 🧟‍♀️💪🏼
What do you call a bewitched cow? A moo-doo doll 🐄✨
How do witches stay in shape? They take broom-obics classes 🧹💃
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a textbook? A bloodsucker who’s great at spelling 🧛📚
Why was the ghost so bad at hide and seek? Because she never had anyone to haunt with 👻🙈
What do you call a vampire with a baker’s license? A count chocula 🧛‍♂️🍫
Why did the witch go to the doctor? She had a spell of bad health 🔮🏥
How does a witch tell time? She looks at her spell book 🕰️📖
What do you call a witch’s car? A broom-truck 🚗🧹
Why was the werewolf’s report card always so bad? He was always marked absent on full moon days 🐺🌕
How does a ghost keep up with current events? By reading the newspaper’s “haunted” section 👻🗞️
What do you get when you cross a skeleton with a DJ? A deadmau5 💀🎧
Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid of unravelling 🗺️🤕
What kind of music do zombies like to dance to? Soul music 🧟‍♂️💃
What kind of clothes do ghosts wear? Boooooo-ties 👻👔

Spellbindingly Hilarious: Funny Quotes about Hocus Pocus

“Hocus Pocus: Because who needs logic when you’ve got magic?”
“If only life were as simple as chanting ‘Hocus Pocus’ and making all my problems disappear!”
“My housekeeping style is more Hocus Pocus than Cinderella.”
“Hocus Pocus: Turning basic witches into fabulous ones since 1993.”
“I put a spell on you, and now your inbox is full of cat videos and memes. You’re welcome.”
“Hocus Pocus: The only time I’ll forgive someone for turning my sister into a cat.”
“I don’t need a cauldron to brew up mischief, I’ve got Hocus Pocus on my side.”
“Wanted: Friends who know the words to ‘I Put a Spell On You’ and are willing to sing with me on command.”
“Hocus Pocus: A documentary on how to cope with obnoxious little brothers and talking black cats.”
“Candy corn is the real magic of Halloween. Hocus Pocus is just the icing on the pumpkin-flavored cake.”
“Before you ask for a favor, remember that Hocus Pocus isn’t real and I’m not a miracle worker.”
“Hocus Pocus: Where the real witchcraft happens in the kitchen with a bottle of wine and some chocolate.”
“If the Sanderson sisters had Instagram, their selfies would be wicked cool.”
“Hocus Pocus: Because I need a legitimate excuse for my broomstick obsession.”
“The only ‘hocus pocus’ I believe in is the kind that turns cheese into pizza.”

Magic or Logic? Exploring the Art of “Hocus Pocus

“A witch’s brew may bring luck or doom, but a fool’s potion will only bring a fart.”
“Three times a charm, unless you’re dealing with a curse from a charm bracelet.”
“A black cat may cross your path, but a neon pink one is just asking for attention.”
“Beware of those who say ‘abra cadabra’ and carry a sword.”
“He who laughs last probably just cast a spell on his enemies.”
“The witching hour may be scary, but not as scary as running out of coffee.”
“The best spells are brewed with a pinch of love and a dash of mischief.”
“Crossing your fingers may bring good luck, unless you’re facing a warlock.”
“A cauldron is a witch’s best friend, but the villagers might see it as a sign of evil.”
“A witch’s broom may sweep away your troubles, but it can also sweep your wallet if you’re not careful.”
“Never trust a fortune teller who asks for payment up front.”
“If you stir the pot too much, you may end up spilling the beans instead of brewing a potion.”
“Spells, potions, and broomsticks – a witch’s daily routine is not for the faint of heart, or the messy.”
“Good luck may be hard to come by, but bad luck seems to find us all too easily.”
“Old witches never die, they just fly away on their brooms.”

Dazzle with Double Entendres: Hocus Pocus Puns!

“I put a spell on you… and it rhymes with ‘witch’!”
“Don’t mind my broomstick, it’s just a prop for show.”
“I’ll make you a love potion… but no guarantees on the side effects.”
“Forget the cauldron, I prefer my coffee brewed with a French press.”
“My cat may be black, but he’s definitely not bad luck.”
“I’m not just a witch, I’m also a wicked cook.”
“It’s not a wart on my nose, it’s a beauty mark.”
“I put the ‘boo’ in ‘book of spells’.”
“I don’t need a crystal ball to see how this night will end.”
“The Sanderson sisters are like wine, they get better with age.”
“Flying on a broomstick? Nah, I prefer Uber.”
“I may have a few skeletons in my closet… literally.”
“My cauldron may be old and rusty, but it gets the job done.”
“Being a witch is just like being a mom, but with more curses.”
“Hocus pocus, chips and dip… this Halloween party is going to be lit!”

Spellbindingly Witty Recursive Puns about Hocus Pocus

“Why did the witch’s broom fly in circles? Because it was caught in a hocus pocus spiral!”
“When the ghost said ‘Boo!’, the witch replied ‘I’m the one who casts the hocus pocus, not you!'”
“What do you call a spell that keeps repeating itself? A recursive hocus pocus!”
“Why did the vampire go to the witch’s workshop? He heard she was working on hocus pocus fangs!”
“The ghosts were scared of the witch’s potions, but they couldn’t help but get caught in her hocus pocus loop!”
“What’s a witch’s favorite type of recursion? Hocus pocus/functions!”
“The haunting season is upon us – time to bust out the hocus pocus recursion spells!”
“When the zombie asked the witch for a spell to bring him back to life, she gave him a recursive hocus pocus. Now he’s stuck in a never-ending loop!”
“Why did the skeleton magician switch to hocus pocus recursion spells? He wanted to add some layers to his act!”
“The witch’s spell book was filled with all sorts of hocus pocus, but her favorite was the recursive one – it always came back to her.”
“The werewolf couldn’t understand why the witch kept laughing at his howls. Little did he know, she had put a hocus pocus loop on him!”
“Why did the ghost call the witch’s hocus pocus spells boring? Because they were just repetitious apparitions.”
“The trick-or-treaters ran away from the witch’s haunted house when they realized they were trapped in a hocus pocus recursion loop.”
“The witch’s curse was so powerful, even her own hocus pocus spells would often backfire…resulting in a recursive pun-us!”

Funny “Hocus Pocus” Tom Swifties for a Touch of Magic

“I can’t believe I lost my wand,” said the witch discontentedly. 😩
“I nailed that spell,” said the wizard confidently as he held up a hammer. 🔨
“I can see right through your disguise,” said the ghost transparently. 👻
“I don’t want to stir the cauldron,” said the witch hesitantly. 🥄
“These potion ingredients are making me tear up,” said the warlock cutting onions. 😭
“I’m feeling a bit drained after casting that spell,” said the vampire thirstily. 🧛‍♂️
“I don’t want to cause any trouble,” said the poltergeist mischievously. 👻
“I can’t cast a love spell on my own,” said the witch without charm. 😔💔
“I don’t want to brag, but I make a mean magic potion,” said the sorcerer boiling water.🧪
“I’m going to put a spell on you,” said the witch spell-bound. 💫
“I really need to clean up this haunted house,” said the ghost with a haunting thought. 👻🧹
“I can’t walk through walls, but I can walk on walls,” said the ghost hanging upside down. 🙃
“That was a wicked good trick,” said the sorcerer wickedly. 🃏
“I don’t believe in magic,” said the skeptic unmagically. ✨
“I’m not afraid of ghosts,” said the witch ghostly. 👀👻

Hocus Pocus, who’s there? A laugh from a knock-knock joke!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch one of you will help me conjure up a spell to make these pesky kids disappear? 🔮
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Amuck. Amuck who? Amuck, amuck, amuck! 🕷️
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sanderson Sisters. Sanderson Sisters who? Sanderson Sisters…wait, where’s Thackery Binx?! 😱
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Broom. Broom who? Broom, broom, fly away fast before the sun rises! ☀️
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Billy. Billy who? Billy, I haven’t been on a date in 300 years! Will you go out with me? 💀
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Black Flame Candle. Black Flame Candle who? Black Flame Candle, just one more time and I’ll be young and beautiful again! 🔥
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Salem. Salem who? Salem’s Lot…of tricks and treats to cast upon the town! 🎃
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Potion. Potion who? Potion…I need another virgin for my brew! 🧪
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cauldron. Cauldron who? Cauldron of candy? Yes please, let’s go trick-or-treating! 🍬
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spellbook. Spellbook who? Spellbook, shhh! Don’t tell anyone our secrets! 📖
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Zombie. Zombie who? Zombie, I’m still here for brains…but also for some laughs! 🧟
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Moon. Moon who? Moon, don’t fail me now for my midnight flight! 🌕
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spell. Spell who? Spellbinding tricks and treats await you at our Halloween party! 🎉
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Haunt. Haunt who? Haunting is my specialty, I’ll make sure your house is the spookiest in the neighborhood! 👻
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Magic. Magic who? Magic, I’ll make you believe in the unbelievable with my tricks and illusions! ✨

Concluding Our Witchy Wisdom with Wicked Puns!

And that’s a wrap on our magical journey through 135+ Hocus Pocus jokes and puns! 🧙‍♀️✨ We hope we’ve put a spell of laughter on you and made your day a little more magical. Don’t forget to check out our other joke posts for more pun-derful humor. Now go out there and work your own “hocus pocus” with these jokes! ✨🔮🤣