100+ Ice Jokes & Puns: Chill Out with These!

Get ready to chill out with laughter because we’ve got the best list of ice jokes and puns that are sure to freeze your funny bone! This collection of clever quips and frosty humor is so funny, it’s ice-ceptional! Did you know that ice can actually help you hear better? It’s true! Inuit people use ice to build igloos, and the unique shape amplifies sound! So, grab your warmest winter hat and get ready for some seriously cool puns about ice that are sure to leave you feeling positive and entertained!

Top Ice Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Chill Out With Our Favorites

1. What’s an ice sculptor’s favorite movie? Frozen II. 🥶
2. Never date an ice skater. They’ll leave you on thin ice. ⛸️
3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the ice rink? He’s being held for ransom money. 💰
4. What do you call it when an ice cube doesn’t get invited to the party? Left out cold. 🎉
5. I’m starting a band called “99 Degrees.” We’re one degree from being ice cold. 🌡️
6. I used to be addicted to ice, but I’m doing much better since I kicked the bucket. 🪣
7. What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear… stuck in shaved ice. 🐻
8. Ice skating is a slippery slope. But man, is it cool. 😎
9. My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it… So I took it ice skating. 🕷️
10. I got hit in the face with a snowball the other day… Talk about a chilling experience! 🥶
11. What did the ocean say to the iceberg? Nothing, it just waved. 👋
12. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs. ☃️
13. Where do snowmen keep their money? In a snow bank. 💰
14. My friend says he wants to be cremated, but I told him he’s getting ahead of himself. He needs to be iced first! ⚰️
15. What do you call it when a snowman throws a temper tantrum? A meltdown. 😭

Funny Ice One-Liner Jokes To Make You Chill

1. I’m starting a band called “99 Degrees”, because we’re one degree away from being ice cold.
2. What’s an iceberg’s favorite drink? Anything on tap.
3. I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out. It was a real ice-breaker.
4. What did the ocean say to the ice berg? Nothing, it just waved.
5. If you make orange juice with snow, what do you get? A slushie with a vitamin C.
6. Where do snowmen go to dance? A snow ball!
7. I used to be addicted to ice, but I managed to break the habit.
8. My girlfriend wanted to name our twins “Elsa” and “Anna” because they were born during a blizzard. I told her that was a bit on the nose.
9. What do you call it when a penguin is walking on thin ice? A real cliffhanger.
10. I got hit in the face with a snowball the other day. Talk about a cold reception.
11. Breaking news: Local snowman found iced. Police have no leads.
12. Why can’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything, even the ice in your drink!
13. What’s as big as an iceberg but weighs nothing? Its shadow.
14. I met this girl made of ice. She said, “Don’t fall for me.” I thought, “That’s cold.”

QnA Jokes & Puns about Ice: Chill-arious Wordplay Ahead

1. Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth that lives on a floating glacier? A: A gummy iceberg!
2. Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? A: Yeah, it was ice cold! He took his victim for a ride in a snow cone machine.
3. Q: What did the ice cube say to the glass of water? A: “Catch you later! I’ve got to chill.”
4. Q: Why did the ice cream cone get fired from its job? A: It kept having meltdowns.
5. Q: What does an iceberg use to surf the internet? A: A tidal wave-ifi connection.
6. Q: Why did the snowman quit his job at the ice cream shop? A: It was too cool for him!
7. Q: Where do snowmen go to dance? A: To a snowball!
8. Q: Why is it so hard to keep secrets in the Arctic? A: Because the walls have ears… of corn! (Get it? Ice corn = ears of corn)
9. Q: What did the ice cream say to the heartbroken waffle cone? A: “There, there, it’ll all cone out in the wash.”
10. Q: Why are fish so easy to weigh? A: Because they have their own scales!
11. Q: What’s cooler than being cool? A: Ice cold! No, wait… an iceberg with sunglasses!
12. Q: What’s an ice sculptor’s favorite genre of music? A: Anything but heavy metal!
13. Q: Why did the ice skater keep falling? A: He kept hitting the rinks!
14. Q: Did you hear about the ice cream flavor contest? A: It was vanilla boring.
15. Q: Why are penguins always invited to parties? A: Because they know how to break the ice!
16. Q: What do you get if you cross a vampire and a snowman? A: Frostbite!

Dad Jokes about Ice: Guaranteed to Freeze You Up

1. Someone told me to “break a leg” at my ice skating competition. I guess they weren’t joking!
2. I just bought a self-help book made of ice. It’s called “Self-Melting into a Better You”.
3. You know what’s odd? An uneven ice cube. 😎
4. My wife asked me to get more ice cream… I told her, “Don’t worry, there’s plenty more where that came from!” … then I showed her the freezer.
5. Heard about the ice cream flavor for dogs? It was a woofle!
6. If you rearrange the letters in “ice cream,” it spells “cinema rice.” Coincidence? I think not.
7. Just saw an iceberg wearing sunglasses. Must have been feeling pretty ice-olated. 😎
8. Why don’t polar bears eat penguins? Because they can’t catch them… and they live at opposite poles! 😉
9. What’s a snowman’s favorite drink? Ice-T! 🎤
10. My friend said, “Let’s chill tomorrow.” I said, “Sure, what time should I bring the ice?
11. What do you call a polar bear with a sore throat? A little hoarse!
12. Why did the ice cube cry? Because it was having a meltdown! 😭
13. My attempt at making a snow cone was a total ice-tastrophe! 🍧
14. To sell more shaved ice, I’m starting a new marketing campaign. It’s going to be ice-ceptional!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Ice That Will Make You Chill

1. I tried to write a song about ice, but it kept freezing my computer screen. 🎵🥶💻
2. My social life is like an ice cube tray – full of squares. 😂🧊
3. Dating advice: Don’t ghost. Ice them out slowly. Let them down easy. 👻➡️🧊➡️💔
4. Icebergs: Living proof that you can be cool and still have deep issues. 😉🥶🌊
5. What’s an ice cube’s favorite genre? Chill-hop, of course. 🎧🧊🎶
6. What did the ice cream say to the ice cube? “Hey cuz, wanna hang out before we melt?” 🍦🧊☀️
7. My bank account is currently practicing for the Winter Olympics… in the empty ice rink. 💸⛸️🥶
8. Feeling lost? Just follow the ice cream truck. It knows the way to happiness. 🤷‍♀️➡️🚚🍦😁
9. “Netflix and chill” is great and all, but have you ever tried “snow cone and contemplate life choices”? 🤔🍧🤯
10. My love life is like an ice sculpture – beautiful, but destined to melt away. 😭💔🧊
11. Just saw a sign that said, “Ice Cold Lemonade – $5”. Seems kinda pricey for frozen water, but hey, maybe it’s designer ice. 🍋💸🧊 🤷‍♀️
12. I’m not saying I’m lazy, but I once considered hiring someone to chew my ice for me. 😴🧊😬
13. The ice cream shop is my happy place. It’s the only place where my “meltdown” is socially acceptable. 😌🍦😋😩
14. Life is short. Eat dessert first. Unless it’s shaved ice – then you’re gonna need a spoon. ⏳🍧🥄
15. You know you’re getting old when “partying all night” means staying up late to refill the ice trays. 👵👴🎉🧊
16. I’m so cool, penguins write to me for fashion advice. 🐧😎🥶💌

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Ice That Will Make You Chill

1. A watched pot never boils, but an unwatched ice cube always melts. It’s like it has separation anxiety or something.
2. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket…unless you’re transporting them in a cooler full of ice. Then, by all means, pile them high!
3. Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and less likely to slip on the morning ice.
4. Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to ice fish, and you’ve given him a hobby that’ll have him hooked for life.
5. Good things come to those who wait, but a melted ice cream cone is a harsh lesson in patience.
6. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again…unless you’re trying to make an ice sculpture in the Sahara Desert. Then, maybe just try a lemonade stand.
7. It’s always darkest before the dawn, especially if you’re searching for the last ice cube in a dimly lit freezer.
8. Life is like a box of chocolates, and that one freezer-burnt ice cream sandwich at the bottom? That’s your unexpected tax bill.
9. Love is blind, but it’s hard to miss someone with a snow cone permanently attached to their face.
10. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy you an industrial-sized ice maker, which is basically the same thing on a hot summer day.
11. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was that epic backyard ice castle. Give it time, and a few more buckets of water.
12. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two scoops of ice cream can fix almost anything.
13. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you snow, build an igloo with an ice bar inside.
14. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it chill out in a kiddie pool full of ice like you can a watermelon.
15. You’re never too old to have a snowball fight… unless you’re allergic to snow. Then maybe just stick to throwing ice cubes from a safe distance.

Ice Double Entendres Puns: Chill Out With These Cool Wordplays

1. I told my friend his ice sculpting career was going nowhere. He said, “Just you wait, I’m about to break the mold!”
2. What’s an ice cube’s favorite genre? Heavy metal.
3. The ice cream truck driver quit his job because he had too many cones-ecutive days.
4. That stand-up comedian was so funny, the audience was in stitches. The ice sculptor, however? Chiseled to their seats.
5. Never ask an ice cube for advice. They’re known for giving the cold shoulder.
6. You know what they say about ice fishing? It’s really hard to break the ice with the fish.
7. The ice cream cone went to art school to enhance its cone-ceptual skills.
8. I’m starting a dating app for ice sculptures. It’s called “Looking for Someone to Melt For.”
9. Heard about the ice cream cone that got arrested? He was caught with two scoops!
10. An iceberg walks into a bar and says, “I’m looking for a drink…and maybe a word of advice. I’m feeling really adrift lately.”
11. The ice cube was feeling very insecure. It had a total complex about its size.
12. My friend said he wanted a job serving snow cones. I told him it sounded pretty chill.
13. You can tell an ice pun from a mile away. They’re always so transparent.
14. Why did the snowman want a divorce? Because his wife was ice cold!
15. The ice cube auditioned for the orchestra. He thought he could play the cymbals.

Funny Ice Tom Swifties: Chill Out With Taylor-Made Puns

1. “This ice sculpture is really impressive,” Taylor said carvingly.
2. “I think my drink needs more ice,” Taylor said coldly.
3. “That figure skater is really gliding across the ice,” Taylor said smoothly.
4. “Let’s go ice fishing!” Taylor said baitingly.
5. “Don’t slip on that patch of ice!” Taylor said warningly.
6. “I could really go for a snow cone right now,” Taylor said icily.
7. “This ice cream is melting too fast!” Taylor said conely.
8. “I can’t feel my fingers after building that snowman,” Taylor said numbly.
9. “The Titanic really hit an iceberg?” Taylor said tragically.
10. “That polar bear is chilling on the ice floe,” Taylor said bearly.
11. “My teeth are chattering from this ice bath,” Taylor said chillingly.
12. “That hockey player really slammed him into the boards,” Taylor said check-edly.
13. “This ice rink is so slippery!” Taylor said gracefully.
14. “Ice, ice, baby!” Taylor said Vanilla Ice-ly.
15. “Pass me the ice bucket challenge,” Taylor said daringly.
16. “This ice hotel is surprisingly cozy,” Taylor said coolly.
17. “I prefer crushed ice in my drinks,” Taylor said bluntly.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Ice: Chill-arious Puns Inside

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Ice-ee you later, alligator!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Ice-cream if you don’t let me in!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Ice-cuse me, is this the way to the freezer?
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Ice got my eye on you!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Ice-olated in my room, anyone want to chat?
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? We’ve never met, Ice to meet you!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Ice you’ve got something to drink, it’s hot out here!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Ice-cream, you scream, we all scream – can I come in already?
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost, or should Ice-ay a ghoul?
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Ice what you did there, that was a good one!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Sorry to interrupt, but Ice-ddenly remembered I had something to tell you!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Didn’t you hear? There’s an ice-cream truck down the street. Ice-ing to go!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Ice you’re wondering what I’m doing here, I brought cookies!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ice. Ice who? Ice-cream you happy when I’m around? I hope so!