125+ Ink-redible Jokes & Puns: You’ve Been Warned!

Get ready to laugh your pens off because we’re diving into the best ink jokes and puns! This list of clever quips is sure to brighten your day and tickle your funny bone. Did you know that the oldest known ink recipe dates back over 4,500 years? That’s right, humor and ink have gone hand-in-hand for centuries. So, get ready for some inky good fun with these positive and hilarious jokes that will leave you feeling anything but blue!

Top Ink Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: For a Pun-tastic Time

1. I’m not saying the author was demanding, but his contract had too many clauses.
2. What happens when you run out of ink? You get a write-off.
3. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he’s been returned to his ink well.
4. Always trust a writer with their heart, but never trust their pen… it’s mightier.
5. My penpal broke up with me. He said things weren’t working out between us.
6. Why don’t they allow pens at the bank? They might be loaded.
7. I used to hate writing in cursive, but then it just clicked.
8. That new stationery store is really drawing in the crowds.
9. Feeling blue? Just add ink!
10. My friend tried to name their pen “Bichael,” I said that name’s already been taken.
11. I went to a seafood restaurant and ordered calamari… The waiter said it was out of stock. I guess they ran out of ink.
12. The pen is mightier than the sword, especially if you throw it really hard.
13. To the thief who stole my thesaurus, I have no words! Oh wait, yes I do… Criminal! Scoundrel! Ink-nabber!
14. Autocorrect always wants to change “Calligraphy” to “Calamity.” It’s a real type-o-graphical error.

Funny Ink One-Liner Jokes: Puns That Will Leave a Mark

1. I tried writing with invisible ink earlier, but I think I’m out of ink.
2. My penpal broke up with me. He said our relationship was too one-inked.
3. I used to work in a pen factory… It was a very ink-clusive environment.
4. Did you hear about the squid who went to prison? He says he’s been framed for crimes he didn’t ink!
5. I’m writing a song about my favorite pen. You could say it’s an ink-redible tune.
6. A vampire walked into a tattoo parlor and asked for a discount. The artist replied, “Sorry, we don’t give ink-orporate rates.”
7. If you’re ever feeling stressed, just remember to breathe and ink-hale.
8. I wanted to get a tattoo of regret, but I chickened out ink the last moment.
9. I saw a sign that said “Tattoo Removal: Out of Business.” Seems like they ran out of ink-ome.
10. My friend said his tattoo is a constant reminder of his ex. Sounds like a permanent ink-onvenience.
11. I tried to explain to my printer that it was being unreasonable, but it just kept responding in ink-oherent gibberish.
12. What do you call a cow that gives tattoos? An ink-redible moo-tist!
13. Whenever I use a fountain pen, I feel so elegant and ink-tellectual.
14. I went to a restaurant that serves food on ink cartridges. The portions were so small! Talk about ink-redibly overpriced.
15. My friend said he was going to get a tattoo of a dictionary on his back. I told him that would be an ink-tionary step!
16. Writing a novel in invisible ink is a terrible idea. Trust me, it’s impossible to ink-orporate any edits.

QnA Jokes & Puns about Ink: Guaranteed to Make You Ink

1. Q: Why did the writer always carry a spare pen? A: He was afraid of running out of ink-spiration!
2. Q: What did the tattoo artist say to the indecisive customer? A: “Don’t worry, I’m sure we can come to an ink-lusive agreement.”
3. Q: Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? A: Too much cheetah ink involved.
4. Q: Why was the ink invisible? A: It was a shy ink!
5. Q: Why did the writer bring a ladder to the library? A: To reach the highest shelves of ink-redible stories!
6. Q: What’s a squid’s favourite band? A: Ink Floyd!
7. Q: Why did the marker feel down? A: Because he was feeling a little… ink-oherent.
8. Q: How do you fix a broken pen? A: With a ink-ant glue!
9. Q: What do you call a clumsy squid? A: An ink-ident waiting to happen!
10. Q: Where do squid artists sell their work? A: At an ink-stallation!
11. Q: Why is ink so expensive? A: Because they put a mark-up on it!
12. Q: What do you call a pen that gives you fashion advice? A: Ink-style guru!
13. Q: The tattoo artist was arrested – why? A: The police said he was charged with assault with a deadly ink-strument!
14. Q: Why is it so hard to read underwater? A: Because of the ink-redibly poor lighting!

Dad Jokes about Ink: They’re not just jotting down funnies

1. Why did the ink cartridge get fired from its job? It wasn’t meeting its quota!
2. I just got back from a tattoo convention… I’ve never seen so much ink outside of a squid!
3. What’s a printer’s favorite font? What-ever font makes them the most ink-ome!
4. Did you hear about the pen who went to art school? It wanted to learn how to sketch!
5. I told my son his handwriting was atrocious. He said, “Hey, it’s my own unique font!”
6. My wife asked me to pick up some ink for her calligraphy set…I said, “Write on it, I’ll be right back!”
7. Why did the pen break up with the pencil? Because they had no chemistry!
8. My kid asked me what the opposite of a tattoo is. I said, “That’s a toupee!”
9. I bought a new printer the other day. The guy at the store said it runs on black magic and extremely expensive tears.
10. Why are pirates so bad at writing letters? Because their penmanship is always at c-level.
11. My printer always jams. I think it has a chip on its cartridge!
12. Just saw a sign that said, “Pen Repair School.” Sounds pointless to me!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Ink: That Will Make You Think

1. My bank account after buying printer ink: Doodling in the red zone. 💸
2. Just saw a squid at the gym. Guess he’s working on his inkarnation. 💪🦑
3. Dating a writer is cool, until you realize love is literally inkonditional. 💔✍️
4. Spilled black coffee on my to-do list. Guess you could say I’m really inklined to procrastinate now. ☕🤣
5. Got a tattoo of a semicolon today. It represents all the stories I have yet to ink. ; 😉
6. You know you’re a writer when “running out of ink” feels like an existential crisis. existential 🤯
7. What’s a vampire’s favorite type of pen? A blood ink pen, of course. 🧛‍♂️🖊️
8. Tried to explain to my dog that ink is not edible. He seemed unink*terested. 🐶🐾
9. My love life is like a cheap pen – constantly skipping and prone to messy explosions. 💔💥
10. People say money talks, but have you ever tried arguing with a full ink cartridge? Now that’s power. 💰💪
11. Relationship status: In a committed relationship with my inkredible collection of fountain pens. 💖🖋️
12. Sure, I’ll write you a song. What key of ink are you looking for? 🎶🎼
13. The only thing faster than the speed of light is my printer detecting low ink levels. 🚀🐌
14. Life is too short to use boring pens. Ink outside the lines! 🌈
15. Always trust a writer with a pen in hand. They’ve clearly got a lot on their inkernal hard drive. 🧠📝
16. Started using invisible ink for my diary. Now my therapist thinks I’m blank staring more often. 📓🤨

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Ink: Spilled Secrets & Inky Wisdom

1. The pen is mightier than the sword, especially when dipped in invisible ink. (Especially true for ninjas.)
2. Don’t cry over spilled ink, unless it’s permanent marker on your new white sofa. (Some stains are emotionally justifiable.)
3. Early to bed and early to rise makes a writer healthy, wealthy, and less likely to run out of ink. (A healthy work-life-ink balance.)
4. A penny saved is a penny earned, but a cartridge refilled is a small victory against overpriced ink manufacturers. (We’ve all been there.)
5. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, but the empty ink cartridge gets replaced… eventually. (Procrastination applies to refills too.)
6. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was a good first draft… especially with a leaky fountain pen. (Some things take time…and numerous napkins.)
7. When in doubt, use more ink. Said no minimalist writer ever. (Maximalist writers unite!)
8. A picture is worth a thousand words, but good handwriting can convey a thousand emotions… without needing a single drop of ink. (Calligraphy skills are forever.)
9. You can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can totally judge it by the quality of the ink used. (Bibliophiles, you know it’s true.)
10. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, unless it’s holding an overpriced ink cartridge. Then, all bets are off. (Consumer rebellion starts with stationery.)
11. The road to hell is paved with good intentions… and smudged ink from rushed signatures. (The devil is in the details… and hates waiting.)
12. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but an empty inkwell makes the writer’s heart sink. (The struggle is real.)
13. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless you need feather quills and ink. Then, priorities shift. (Necessity is the mother of invention…and bird hunting.)
14. Good things come to those who wait, but great manuscripts come to those who refill their ink cartridges on time. (Preparation is key.)

Ink Double Entendres Puns: Witty Wordplay in Black and White

1. I tried to explain to my pen the importance of a balanced lifestyle, but it just wouldn’t ink it in. (Get it? Instead of “sink,” we have “ink,” because pens…)
2. This new tattoo parlor is so exclusive, they make you sign a non-dis-ink-losure agreement. (🤫🤐 Secrecy is key, especially when inking deals…or skin.)
3. I’m thinking about opening a seafood restaurant near the tattoo shop. You know, capitalize on the whole ink-squid-ous relationship. (🦑 A play on “incestuous” with a dash of cephalopod humor.)
4. I told the tattoo artist I was feeling indecisive about the design. He said, “Don’t worry, it’s not set in ink yet.” I replied, “Well, duh, that’s kind of the point!” (🙄 Sometimes, the obvious needs stating…especially when dealing with permanent decisions.)
5. My friend says his new job at the bank is stressful, constantly surrounded by so much ink…must be a high-pressure inkvironment. (🏦 A play on “environment” where the pressure is always on…the pens.)
6. I got a tattoo of a dictionary definition on my arm. My mom said, “That’s ironic.” I told her, “No, it’s ink-onic!” (😎 Because who needs actual irony when you can make it meta…and ink-related?)
7. The detective walked into the library and said, “I’m looking for a story full of ink-trigue and suspense.” The librarian pointed him to the calligraphy section. (🔎 Who knew fancy handwriting could be so thrilling…maybe it’s the penmanship?)
8. Dating a tattoo artist is intense. We’re at the stage where we’re practically ink-separable. (💖 A love story for the ages…or at least for as long as the tattoo ink lasts.)
9. They say money talks, but all mine ever seems to do is buy more tattoo ink. (💸 A relatable experience for anyone with a body art addiction…and an empty wallet.)
10. I asked the tattoo artist for a dotwork tattoo of the solar system. He said, “Sure, just don’t ink-lude Pluto – it’s not a planet!” (🪐 Ouch, that burn is out of this world…and possibly scientifically accurate?)
11. I went to a lecture on the history of writing implements. It was so fascinating, you could say it was ink-formative! (🤓 Learning about pens and quills…never thought it could be so riveting!)
12. The novelist was feeling uninspired. “I need to get my creative juices flowing,” she sighed. Her partner suggested, “Maybe try a different color ink?” ( Writer’s block is real, folks…maybe a change of ink cartridge is all it takes?)
13. My grandpa got a tattoo at age 80. When I asked him why, he chuckled and said, “Never too late to make a bold ink-pression!” (😎 Age is just a number, especially when it comes to expressing yourself…in permanent ink.)
14. I used to think love was the most powerful force in the universe. Then I discovered the bond between a writer and their favorite ink pen. (💖🖋️ A love story for the ages…or at least until the ink cartridge runs dry.)

Funny Ink Tom Swifties: Witty Wordplay

1. “This pen’s out of ink,” Tom stated emptily.
2. “I just signed a contract to write a book about whales,” Tom said blubberingly.
3. “I think I got a deal on this printer,” Tom declared cheaply.
4. “I can’t believe I got a tattoo of a cat,” Tom remarked meowlingly.
5. “This calligraphy set is perfect for writing love letters,” Tom declared eloquently.
6. “My fountain pen just exploded!” Tom said incoherently.
7. “I love the smell of fresh printing,” Tom remarked presstly.
8. “Be careful, that ink stains easily,” Tom warned permanently.
9. “I just wrote a song about my pet squid,” Tom said tentacularly.
10. “My quill needs sharpening,” Tom said pointedly.
11. “This invisible ink is tricky to use,” Tom said unseenly.
12. “This inkwell is made of solid gold!” Tom said richly.
13. “I think I dipped my pen in the wrong ink,” Tom said mistakenly.
14. “I’m going to write a strongly worded letter,” Tom said boldly.
15. “Help! I spilled ink all over myself!” Tom cried blottoly.
16. “This contract is binding,” Tom said officially.

Knock-knock Jokes about Ink: You’ve Never Read Anything Like These

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ink. Ink who? Ink you’ll let me in, it’s cold out here!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ink. Ink who? Inkwisitive minds want to know…who are you?
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ink. Ink who? Don’t be a scaredy-cat, it’s ink-redibly safe to open up!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ink. Ink who? Ink-lud me in on the fun, I brought snacks!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ink. Ink who? I ink you forgot to refill the printer…again!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ink. Ink who? It’s not ink-ognito, I’m right here!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ink. Ink who? Ink-redible! You guessed it was me!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ink. Ink who? I can’t believe you’re making me ink-riminate myself!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ink. Ink who? What do you mean ‘Ink who’? That’s my name, don’t wear it out!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ink. Ink who? Ink about it later, right now just let me in!