110+ Karate Jokes & Puns: You Kick, You Laugh!

Get ready to laugh your gi’s off! 🥋 This isn’t your average list of jokes; we’ve compiled the best, most clever, and side-splitting karate puns and humor this side of the dojo. Did you know that “karate” actually translates to “empty hand?” Well, get ready to fill your hands with laughter because these puns are guaranteed to leave you feeling positive and punchy in all the right ways! 😜

Top Karate Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: For Your Inner Comedi-an

1. My friend’s career in karate was really kicking off, until it got flipped, turned upside down.
2. To become a karate master, you need to be really driven. Or just borrow my mom’s minivan.
3. Broke up with my Karate instructor. He kept giving me the silent treatment.
4. Why did the karate student fail his history test? He was too busy studying the Chopsticks Dynasty.
5. I wanted to learn Karate, but I couldn’t afford the training. Guess you could say it was a little out of my price-chop.
6. My friend’s quite the karate comedian. He really knows how to chop-socky it to ’em!
7. What do you call a lazy kangaroo who does karate? A Pouch Potato.
8. Where do sick karate masters go? The Chop-pital!
9. I used to do karate…then I realized I preferred Taekwondo. I guess you could say I had a change of kicks.
10. Never challenge a vegetarian karate master to a fight. They’ll literally kick your asparagus.
11. Why are fish so bad at Karate? They’re always pulled back by their currents!
12. What’s the difference between a karate master and a novice? A black belt.
13. Always stretch before karate class…unless you want to pull a ham-string.
14. Where can you find a karate-chopping clam? On the ocean bed. He’s shellfish about his skills.

Funny Karate One-Liner Jokes: Get Ready to Chop-Kick and Chuckle

1. My friend said his Karate skills make him a lethal weapon… I told him that’s a pretty chopping statement.
2. Dating a Karate instructor is intense… every discussion feels like a matter of life or death…or at least a black eye.
3. My neighbor tried to learn Karate online… now he practices “Ctrl+Alt+Kickbox.”
4. Always trust a skinny chef and a weak-looking karate master… they’ve clearly mastered the element of surprise.
5. My bank offers a new “Karate Banking” service… they promise to kick your balance’s interest rate up high.
6. I saw a sign that said “Karate: Self-defense for the rest of your life.” Sounds like a pretty long commitment.
7. I tripped and fell at a Karate tournament yesterday… luckily, I landed in the complimentary “break-fall” zone.
8. I’m not saying my Karate instructor is old, but his warm-up routine involves rubbing Bengay on his joints.
9. I bought a “Karate Diet” book… turns out, it’s just a regular diet, but you have to chop your food with your bare hands.
10. My friend claimed his Karate chop could split a cinder block in half… turns out, he meant with his car.
11. Signed up for a “Karate and Pottery” class bundle… It’s called “Clay and Slay.”
12. My Karate instructor told me to imagine my opponent was a piece of paper… I think he’s trying to gently tell me my punches need work.
13. If you think learning Karate is hard, try mastering “Karate-oke”… it’s all about finding your fighting voice.
14. Never mess with a Karate master who meditates… they’ll defeat you with inner peace… right before they kick you in the face.
15. Heard a rumor that Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid wasn’t a real sensei… just an off-duty “fence-ai” who really knew how to paint a fence.
16. I put my all into every Karate class… you could say I’m kick-starting my potential!

QnA Jokes & Puns about Karate: Get Your Kicks with These!

1. Q: Why did the karate student fail his history test on Japan? A: He kept getting his “senseis” and “shoguns” mixed up!
2. Q: What do you call a karate master who’s always losing their keys? A: A black belt… with a brown spot for memory!
3. Q: Why did the karate student bring a ladder to the fight? A: He heard his opponent was a high kicker!
4. Q: What’s the difference between a karate expert and a novice driver? A: The novice driver knows how to use their signals!
5. Q: What do you call a sheep that does karate? A: A baa-d mama-llama!
6. Q: What’s the most dangerous position in karate? A: Standing in front of someone who just earned their black belt after years of trying!
7. Q: Why are karate competitions so short? A: Because once the fighting starts, it’s all over in a matter of kicks and punches!
8. Q: Why is it hard to make friends with a karate master? A: They keep breaking the ice… with their bare hands!
9. Q: Why don’t they play hide and seek at the karate school? A: Because good luck finding someone who can hide from those guys!
10. Q: What music do karate masters listen to while they train? A: Anything with a good “kick” drum!
11. Q: What’s the difference between a karate master and a hurricane? A: With a hurricane, you get a 24-hour warning!
12. Q: What’s a karate master’s favorite drink? A: Anything they can get their “kiai” on!
13. Q: What do you call a karate instructor who’s always late? A: A slow-kicker!
14. Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo that decides to take karate? A: A pouch potato turned kicking machine!
15. Q: Why did the scarecrow win a medal in karate? A: Because he was outstanding in his field!

Dad Jokes about Karate: They’ll Kick You Up

1. I signed my son up for karate lessons to make him more disciplined. Turns out, he’s really good at the chopping part. Now he does all the veggies for dinner.
2. I tried to learn karate online, but every time I hit “enter”, nothing happened!
3. What’s a karate teacher’s favorite beverage? A puni-tea!
4. My wife got mad at me for doing karate in the living room. I told her, “Don’t worry, it’s just a sparring match!”
5. You know someone’s serious about karate when they bow before they… karate chop …leave the room!
6. I used to do karate, but I had to quit. All those kicks were messing up my shins-dignity!
7. Want to know the secret to my amazing karate skills? It’s all about the element of surprise!
8. My wife told me to take the spider webs down instead of practicing karate. I said, “Let me catch you up on something…”
9. What type of music do karate instructors listen to? Anything with a good kick drum!
10. Never get into a karate fight with a librarian. They’ve mastered the Dewey-fense system!
11. I tried to become a karate instructor, but I wasn’t cut out for it.
12. I asked my karate instructor if he could teach me to do a double roundhouse kick. He said, “Of course, that’s a piece of kick!”
13. Why did the karate student bring a ladder to the fight? He heard his opponent was a high belt!
14. My karate instructor told me to try a new defense move. I said, “Hey, don’t kick-pick on me!
15. What’s a karate teacher’s least favorite day of the year? Any day they have to deal with a split decision!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Karate: That Will Kick Your Laughter Into High Gear

1. My therapist told me to try karate to release stress. Turns out, yelling “HI-YAH!” at my problems doesn’t actually solve them. Who knew?
2. “Karate: The art of convincing mosquitoes you’re not worth the effort.”
3. Dating a black belt in karate is great… until you have an argument and they win with a well-placed “Hai!”
4. “Karate is 90% perspiration, 10% determination, and 100% making weird noises.”
5. I used to do karate… then I realized I could achieve inner peace just by eating a whole tub of ice cream. Less kicking required.
6. What’s the difference between karate and gossiping? One’s a martial art, the other is a MARSHALL art. 😏
7. Tried to explain to my dog that my karate skills would protect us. He just rolled his eyes. Dogs are such skeptics.
8. Breaking boards in karate is satisfying and all, but have you ever successfully navigated a crowded parking lot on Black Friday? Now that’s power.
9. My biggest fear in life? Getting attacked by a mime who knows karate. Talk about a silent but deadly opponent.
10. “Karate Chop” sounds like a really aggressive discount store. “Everything must go… especially you!”
11. Just saw a guy at the grocery store wearing his karate uniform. I tried to make eye contact but he kept bowing every time I looked at him. Awkward.
12. My bank account after buying all the karate gear I “need”: Officially a white belt.
13. Me: “I think I can take him.” Also Me, 5 seconds into a karate sparring match: “Why are we doing this again?”
14. You know you’ve been doing too much karate when your default reaction to a spider is a roundhouse kick.
15. “Karate Instructor: ‘And how will you block this attack?’ Me: ‘With a restraining order?'”
16. Sure, karate teaches you self-defense… but it also teaches you how to efficiently chop vegetables. #lifeskills
17. Life is like a karate match… You never know when you’re going to get kicked in the face. But hey, at least you’ll look cool while it’s happening.

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Karate: With a Kick

1. A black belt is just a white belt that refused to wash.
2. Don’t underestimate your opponent in Karate… especially if they brought nunchucks to a fistfight.
3. Speak softly and carry a big gi… you might trip someone.
4. Practice makes perfect… or at least slightly less embarrassing in front of your sensei.
5. A journey of a thousand kicks begins with a single bruised shin.
6. Patience is a virtue… that your opponent probably doesn’t have. Strike while the gi is hot!
7. Never pick a fight you can’t win… unless the dojo has excellent health insurance.
8. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him do a roundhouse kick… unless you’re Chuck Norris.
9. The pen is mightier than the sword… unless the sword is a katana wielded by a Karate master.
10. Rome wasn’t built in a day… but it probably could have been with enough skilled Karate contractors.
11. Early to bed, early to rise, makes a Karate master… very, very tired.
12. Don’t count your chickens before they hatch… especially if you’re training with a particularly aggressive rooster in your dojo.
13. A watched pot never boils… much like a beginner Karate student trying to break a board.
14. Two wrongs don’t make a right… unless you’re breaking them with a well-executed karate chop.
15. The grass is always greener on the other side… of your opponent after you sweep their legs.
16. When life gives you lemons… learn self-defense so you can finally face those lemon-throwing bullies from grade school.

Karate Double Entendres Puns: High Kicks and Word Tricks

1. I tried to explain to my friend what karate is, but he just wouldn’t kick it.
2. Looking for a choper price on your next karate lesson? Look no further!
3. She’s such a talented baker, she can make a cake look exactly like a karate instructor. Don’t believe me? Check out her kicks!
4. Breaking boards is easy. Breaking bad habits, now that’s karate!
5. My dating life is like my karate skills – always a block away from success.
6. He’s so good at karate, he can chop vegetables with his bare hands. It’s a real kick to watch!
7. I wanted to join the advanced karate class, but they said I wasn’t ready yet.
8. She’s got a black belt in karate and a PhD in astrophysics. Talk about a high kick!
9. My karate instructor told me to focus on my chi. I told him, “That’s easy for you to say.”
10. The new karate instructor is really board with the idea of starting a meditation class.
11. I used to do karate, but I had to kick the habit. It was sparring too much of my time.
12. You can tell a lot about a person by their karate style. Me? I’m more of a laid-back kind of guy.
13. My friend is starting a karate-themed bakery. Their slogan? “We’re really gonna kick your sweet tooth!”
14. Don’t underestimate the power of karate. It can really chop and change your life.
15. I’m making a dating app for karate enthusiasts. It’s called Sparkle. Get it?
16. Karate is like a box of chops. You never know what you’re gonna get.
17. My karate skills are a little rusty. I guess you could say they’ve become a bit board.

Funny Karate Tom Swifties: High-Kicks and Side-Splitting Quips

1. “I think I bruised my shin during karate practice,” Tom said kickingly.
2. “Did you see my reverse punch?” Tom asked strikingly.
3. “Karate is all about balance and inner peace,” Tom said serenely.
4. “I need to work on my blocks,” Tom said defensively.
5. “My opponent won’t know what hit him,” whispered Tom swiftly.
6. “I’m breaking this board in half!” yelled Tom boardly.
7. “I love the uniform,” Tom said beltedly.
8. “My master says I’m making great progress,” Tom said proudly.
9. “This dojo is really impressive,” Tom said awestruckly.
10. “I’m going to practice my kata now,” Tom said routinely.
11. “That kick was a little off,” Tom said miscalculatedly.
12. “I’m feeling much more confident already,” boasted Tom bravely.
13. “Remember, it’s about discipline, not fighting,” Tom said peacefully.
14. “I can’t believe how strong my legs are getting,” Tom said kickingly.
15. “I wonder if they have snacks after class,” Tom pondered hungrily.
16. “My next belt will be black!” Tom said hopefully.
17. “Time for my sparring session,” Tom said nervously.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Karate: You Ken Believe These!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Karate. Karate who? Karate-ful, I brought snacks!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Karate. Karate who? Karate-n out of patience waiting for you to let me in!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Karate. Karate who? Karate yourself a favor and open up!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Karate. Karate who? Karate kid has nothing on me!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Karate. Karate who? Karate see you now, Doctor is in!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Karate. Karate who? Karate-ly believe you said that!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Karate. Karate who? Karate-fic to see you again!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Karate. Karate who? Karate-ful what you wish for!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Karate. Karate who? Karate-ing about you is all I do!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Karate. Karate who? Karate-ful, I’ve got a black belt!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Karate. Karate who? Just kidding, it’s me! But seriously, can I come in now?
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Karate. Karate who? Karate chop this! (Pretend to karate chop the door open) 😁