Get Your Funny Fix: 230+ Math Jokes and Puns for the Numerically Inclined
Welcome to our list of the best math jokes and puns! We’ve combed through all the numbers and equations to bring you some of the most clever and hilarious humor out there. These jokes are perfect for kids (and adults who still haven’t mastered basic math). Get ready to laugh as we count down our top picks for funny puns about math. Don’t worry, they’re all positively clever!
Count on these mathematical puns to solve your humor equation – Editor’s Picks for ‘Math’ Puns & Jokes!
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- Why did the math book go to therapy? Because it had too many problems.
- Why are circles so smart? Because they are well-rounded.
- Why was the math teacher always happy? Because she found the root of all her problems.
- Did you hear about the statistician who drowned in a river with an average depth of six inches? He calculated the river’s mean depth.
- Why do mathematicians always confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
- How does a math professor greet their students? With a sine and a cosine.
- Why did the math student go to the chef’s house? To learn how to make Pi.
- What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert? Pi pie.
- Why did the math teacher open a bakery? Because she was good at dividing pies evenly.
- What do you call an angle that is adorable? Acute angle.
- Why did the two 4’s skip lunch? Because they already 8.
- What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt!
- Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because he was already-stuffed.
- Why did the math book stay home from school? It had too many square roots.
- What do you get when you cross a math teacher and a plumber? A problem solver.
- What do you call a number that cannot keep still? A roamin’ numeral.
- Did you hear about the man who fell into a vat of molasses? He came out with a sweet tan.
- Why do mathematicians like parks? Because they like to take natural logarithms.
Count on Laughter with These Funny Math One-Liner Jokes!
- “I was feeling negative, but then I realized I had imaginary friends.”
- “I asked my math teacher why fractions were so confusing. She said ‘It’s just a divided topic.'”
- “Why did the obtuse angle go to the chiropractor? Because it was feeling a little acute.”
- “I wanted to excel in math, but my calculator kept dividing me.”
- “What do you call an angle with attitude? A sassy-rho-s”
- “Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.”
- “My math teacher said I was average. I said ‘Thanks, that means a lot.'”
- “Why was the circle always so popular? Because it had 360 degrees of friends.”
- “Why did the mathematician go to the beach? To work on his tan-gents.”
- “Why was the number 6 so scared of 7? Because 7 8 9!”
- “Math is like a puzzle, except you’re always missing one piece and the picture makes no sense.”
- “Why did the rectangle skip lunch? Because it was already full of angles.”
- “Why couldn’t the mathematician be sad? He was always positive.”
- “Why do we tell math jokes? Because it’s cheaper than therapy.”
- What’s the best way to communicate with a math textbook? Send it a word problem.”
- “Why was the fraction so afraid of negative numbers? They haunted it like imaginary ghosts.”
- “How do you make a math teacher melt? Put them next to a square root.”
- “Why is 6 afraid of 9? Because 9 is a perfect 10!”
- “What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re so well-rounded.”
- “Why did the mathematician go on a diet? He was tired of being divided into fractions.”
Sum It Up: QnA Jokes & Math Puns to Solve Your Laughter Equation
- Q: What did the math book say to the pencil? A: You can count on me.
- Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because it had too many problems.
- Q: What do you call a number that can’t keep still? A: A roamin’ numeral.
- Q: Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? A: He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- Q: Why do mathematicians like parks? A: Because of all the natural logs.
- Q: How do you make seven an even number? A: Just remove the “s.”
- Q: What did the triangle say to the circle? A: You’re so well-rounded.
- Q: Why did the math teacher go to the beach? A: To get a tan-gerine.
- Q: How do you make one vanish? A: Add a “g” and it’s gone.
- Q: What did the zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt!
- Q: I’m a math teacher, but I have a problem. A: Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find a solution.
- Q: Why did the math book wear glasses? A: It had too many sequences.
- Q: Why did the math test get a low score? A: Because it was below average.
- Q: What do you call a number that can’t keep its place? A: A disoriented decimal.
- Q: Why did the math student go to bed early? A: She wanted to get a good night’s sigma-ture.
- Q: How do you solve any math problem? A: Just multiply on it.
- Q: What did one wall say to the other? A: I’ll meet you at the corner.
- Q: Why did the math teacher cross the road? A: To get to the ratio-side.
- Q: How do you know if a math joke is funny? A: If it has more than one zero-denominator.
- Q: What do you call a number that’s always on the move? A: A protractor-nomad.
Count on These Hilarious Dad Jokes about Math!
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
- I’m bad at math, but I’m really good at counting my blessings.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
- What do you call an angle that is adorable? An acute angle.
- Why don’t they let math teachers use graph paper anymore? Because they might plot a scheme.
- What did the math book say to the angry student? Calm down, I’ve got your number.
- Why did the student put his calculator in the fridge? He wanted to solve a really cool problem.
- Did you hear about the statistician who went insane? He had too many standard deviations.
- Why was the math book choking? It got caught up in a long problem.
- I told my son not to play with his food. He said, “But mom, pi is never ending!”
- Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 (ate) 9.
- A farmer counted 196 cows in his field, but when he rounded them up he had 200.
- I can never trust math teachers. They always try to make the numbers work for them.
- Why do mathematicians like parks? Because of all the natural logarithms.
- Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative square roots? He’ll never take any root canal procedures.
- Two math jokes walk into a bar… ….they asked the bartender for pi(nk) drinks.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- I have a fear of odd numbers, but I’m learning to cope. 1, 3, 5, 7…
- What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent.
Adding Humor to Numbers: Funny Quotes about Math
- “I may not be a mathematician, but I still know how to count my blessings.”
- “Life is like math, sometimes it’s perfectly balanced, and sometimes it’s an absolute mess.”
- “I love math, it gives me a solid answer to all my imaginary problems.”
- “I may not understand calculus, but I can definitely calculate how many slices of pizza I can eat.”
- “Math is like a puzzle, except the pieces are numbers and you’re never sure if you solved it correctly.”
- “Math teachers have a lot of problems, but finding solutions isn’t one of them.”
- “Math is like a game, except there are a million rules and no one ever taught you how to play.”
- “If I had a dollar for every math problem I’ve solved correctly, I’d have $1.17.”
- “You know what they say, ‘there’s no such thing as a dumb question’, but there sure are a lot of dumb math answers.”
- “I don’t have a calculator, but I do have a phone, which is pretty much the same thing nowadays.”
- “Algebra is like the alphabet, except there are numbers and the letters keep changing their values.”
- “Math is like a foreign language, except even if you understand it, you still can’t make sentences.”
- “Math puns are the first sine of madness.”
- “Don’t worry if you forget a math formula, there’s always Google or the back of your calculator.”
- “Mathematics is the only subject where you can buy 60 watermelons and no one questions your sanity.”
- “I thought I was bad at math, but then I realized I was just really good at using a calculator.”
- “My math skills are like an onion, the more layers you peel, the more I start crying.”
- “Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.”
- “In math, ‘word problems’ are just a fancy way of saying ‘real life situations that you’ll never encounter’.”
- “I would do anything for math, except actually solve a math problem.”
Crunching Numbers with a Dose of Laughter: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Math
- “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it solve for x.”
- “A penny saved is a penny earned, unless it’s a math problem and then you probably owe someone money.”
- “Actions speak louder than words, which is why I prefer to show my work.”
- “Ask not what your math homework can do for you, ask what you can do to avoid it.”
- “Better late than never, unless you’re turning in a math test.”
- “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, because there’s always a chance you’ll drop the equation.”
- “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and able to calculate percentages faster.”
- “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, and I must be trying to divide by zero.”
- “Haste makes waste, especially when it comes to solving calculus problems.”
- “If at first, you don’t succeed, try taking a math class with a different teacher.”
- “It’s not the size of the pencil that matters, it’s how you use the TI-84 calculator.”
- “Lies spread faster than the answer to a math problem during a test.”
- “Measure twice, cut once. Unless you’re doing geometry, then it’s measure 10 times and still end up with the wrong answer.”
- “No pain, no gain. Except in math class, where there’s always pain and no gain.”
- “Old habits die hard, especially the habit of procrastinating on math homework.”
- “Patience is a virtue, especially when you’re waiting for your brain to remember how to solve basic algebra equations.”
- “Practice makes perfect, but it also makes me want to cry when it comes to math.”
- “Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was my ability to do long division without a calculator.”
- “The early bird gets the worm, but the early math student gets a confusing lesson on fractions.”
- “Why did the math book go to therapy? Because it had too many problems.”
Adding Humor and Numbers: Master the Art of Math Double Entendres Puns
- “I bet you have a lot of ‘math’-etarians in your family – do you all add up to the same sum?”
- “Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.”
- “Did you hear about the math professor who was arrested for stealing equations? He’s trying to make a ‘fair’ trade deal.”
- “Why did the math teacher wear glasses? Because he couldn’t ‘subtract’ his students’ mistakes without them.”
- “What did the triangle say to the circle? “You’re so pointless.””
- “I’m sorry for not doing my math homework last night, I was too busy dividing my time between Netflix and chill.”
- “Why couldn’t the angle get a loan? His parents wouldn’t cosine on it.”
- “I told my math teacher that I wanted to be a doctor, but she said I could only use ‘logic’ on ‘the math’ at hand.”
- “Did you hear about the mathematician who froze to death? He found himself between two negative numbers.”
- “Why couldn’t the geometry teacher open his classroom door? He forgot the ‘key to geometry.’”
- “How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they leave it to ‘the imaginary’ electrical engineers.”
- “Why does algebra make people sad? Because it’s where ‘the letters’ go when they take a break from ‘the numbers.’”
- “I tried studying calculus, but my brain got ‘derivative’ – I just can’t differentiate between the concepts.”
- “What do you call a number that can’t keep still? A roamin’ numeral.”
- “Math tests are like a box of chocolates – you never know what kind of problems you’re going to get.”
- “Why did the student bring a ladder to math class? He heard there would be a lot of ‘high’ degrees.”
- “I told my math teacher that I wanted to be an accountant, but she said it was too ‘taxing’ on my brain.”
- “I took a math class and all I got was this ‘stupid’ root canal.”
- “Why did the statistician go to the beach? To calculate the cosign and tan lines.”
- “I tried to do a math problem while sitting on a bouncy ball – I ended up with ‘add’-vanced whiplash.”
Count on These Recursive Puns about Math to Add Some Humor to Your Day
- Why couldn’t the angle trust the other angles? Because they were always trying to bring him back to square one.
- What did the number 8 say to the number 3? “I can multiply, but you can’t divide.”
- How does a mathematician’s wife know when he’s lying? His pi ends up getting bigger each time.
- Why did the fraction call the decimal jealous? Because he couldn’t help but repeat himself.
- Why did the statistician only drink root beer? Because he was afraid of square roots.
- What do you call a math teacher who loves to tell jokes? A polygon.
- Why did the student study geometry on Friday nights? Because he didn’t want to miss out on all the acute angles.
- What did the triangle say to the circle? “You’re so well-rounded.”
- Why was the obtuse triangle always so sad? Because he never felt right.
- What did the number 1 say to the number 0? “Without me, you’re nothing.”
- How does a math book propose to another math book? “Let’s sum it up. Will you be my +1?”
- Why do math teachers make good comedians? They always have the perfect equation for a good punchline.
- What do you call a number that can’t keep its decimal places in order? Dysfunctional.
- Why did the radical leave the party early? Because he couldn’t handle all the square roots.
- What do you call a math problem that makes people laugh? A funny equation.
- Why did the fraction break up with the decimal? Because he always ended up repeating his mistakes.
- What did the square root of two say to the square root of negative one? “You’re imaginary.”
- Why did the parallel lines break up? Because they never seemed to intersect.
- What did the number 0 say to the number 8? “Nice belt.”
- Why did the angle refuse to listen to his parents? Because they just kept going in circles.
Sum up Your Laughter with These Math-ical Tom Swifties
- ) “I can’t find the square root,” Tom said rootlessly.
- ) “This equation is so complex,” Tom remarked bitterly.
- ) “I don’t like fractions,” Tom dividedly stated.
- ) “I’m getting a headache from all this geometry,” Tom said obtusely.
- ) “I can’t do long division,” Tom dividedly confessed.
- ) “I’m not good at angles,” Tom said obtusely.
- ) “I’m feeling irrational,” Tom stated irrationally.
- ) “I hate algebra,” Tom exclaimed factually.
- ) “I think this calculator is broken,” Tom calculated sarcastically.
- ) “I never get the right answer,” Tom admitted fractionally.
- ) “I forgot how to do this problem,” Tom subtracted sheepishly.
- ) “I’m feeling a little negative,” Tom said with a forlorn negative sign.
- ) “My math skills are parallel to none,” Tom said congruently.
- ) “I’m feeling pretty average today,” Tom medi-analyzed.
- ) “I think I made a mistake,” Tom added up remorsefully.
- ) “I can’t seem to figure it out,” Tom differentiated cluelessly.
- ) “Math jokes are just not my division,” Tom multi-plied humorlessly.
- ) “I have a proprietary algorithm for this problem,” Tom proprietary calculatedly.
- ) “I’m always at odds with math,” Tom said at odds fractionally.
- ) “Geometry is so pointless,” Tom pointed out pointlessly.
Who’s there? Math jokes that will add up to a good laugh!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? X. X who? Why did the mathematician bring a ladder to work? Because he was working on a high equation!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pi. Pi who? What did the math book say to the pencil? “I’ve got my number on you.”
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fraction. Fraction who? Why did the fraction go to therapy? Because it had a lot of issues!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Algorithm. Algorithm who? What did the math teacher say when her student tried to cheat on a test using a calculator? “Algorithms are allowed, but ‘algabra’ isn’t!”
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Poly. Poly who? Why are math textbooks always sad? Because they have too many problems.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sine. Sine who? Why did the angle go to the beach? Because it wanted to be a tangent!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Protractor. Protractor who? Why did the protractor go back to school? To get a better degree-angle!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Triangle. Triangle who? What do you call a werewolf that loves math? A Lycan-ithrope!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Divided. Divided who? Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems and no one wanted to divide them!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tangent. Tangent who? How do you keep warm in an empty room? Go into a corner, it’s always 90 degrees!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Symmetry. Symmetry who? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, silly! Cows go moo!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Infinity. Infinity who? What do you get when you cross an elephant with a potato? Infinity potatoes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Parallel. Parallel who? How do you avoid getting in trouble with a math teacher? Just stay parallel!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Quadratic. Quadratic who? Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many squares and no one wanted to root for it!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Geometry. Geometry who? Why did the geometry teacher go to the beach? To find some tan-gents!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fraction. Fraction who? How do you make 7 even? Just take away the ‘s’!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Addition. Addition who? What happens when you cross a snowman and a vampire? You get frostbite!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Trigonometry. Trigonometry who? Why did the triangle go to the doctor? It had a sinus infection!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Calculus. Calculus who? What do you call a deer that loves math? A calcul-amoose!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Geometry. Geometry who? How do you know when a math teacher is sad? They become very square in their teaching methods!
Math Musings: Funny ‘Math’ Malapropisms That Add Up to Laughter
- Sinusoidal – A cold medicine that will help relieve your blocked sine functions.
- Algebraic – When someone uses algebra to express their emotions, they’re being algebraic.
- Calculust – The pain you feel when attempting to solve a difficult calculus problem.
- Tangentleman – A man who always goes off on tangents during a conversation.
- Geometree – A tree that grows in geometric shapes.
- Differentiallet – A petite and delicate mathematical equation.
- Fractionation – The division of a group into smaller and more easily manageable fractions.
- Plus-ine – A mathematical canine who always adds value to your life.
- Pythagora-sneeze – The sudden urge to sneeze when solving a Pythagorean theorem problem.
- Numb-erator – The part of a fraction that makes you feel numb when trying to solve it.
- Sign-tificient – When a mathematical sign holds significant importance in an equation.
- Triangular-cize – A mathematical workout that involves solving triangles.
- Decimalsion – The moment of realization when you realize your decimals were incorrect.
- Algeb-ray – The blinding ray of light that comes to you when finally understanding an algebra concept.
- Functionally Challenged – Someone who can’t understand the concept of mathematical functions.
- Pi-rhana – A vicious fish that only eats circular-shaped foods, especially pie.
- Multi-plication – Being multiplied by many things, including responsibilities and errands.
- Trigo-nometree – A tree that only grows in right angles and uses cosine and tangent for photosynthesis.
- Geometric-ME – When someone is so obsessed with geometry that they start to see everything in shapes.
- Exponentially Tired – The extreme exhaustion felt after solving an exponential equation.
Match your numerals with clever Spoonerisms about Math!
- “Dath Wiz” instead of “Math Quiz”
- “Faction Mumble” instead of “Fraction trouble”
- “Crazy Trunch” instead of “Tracy Crunch”
- “Numbtastic Fun” instead of “Fantastic Bum”
- “Plastic Metric” instead of “Mastic Petric”
- “Multiplication Disaster” instead of “Division Master”
- “Counting Fox” instead of “Founting Cox”
- “Tangled Equations” instead of “Angled Tiquations”
- “Times Table Wipeout” instead of “Wimes Table Tipout”
- “Geometry Giggles” instead of “Gimetry Jeegles”
- “Prime number Daze” instead of “Dime number Paze”
- “Calculus Calamity” instead of “Calculus Calamity”
- “Algebra Hijinks” instead of “Hijebra Alinks”
- “Graphing Goof” instead of “Grafting Goof”
- “Decimal Mix-up” instead of “Meme Clit-up”
- “Probability Parody” instead of “Parability Prody”
- “Geometry Jokes” instead of “Yemetry Gokes”
- “Shapes and Shivers” instead of “Shakes and Shivels”
- “Angle Tangent” instead of “Tangle Anget”
- “Mathamorphosis Madness” instead of “Methamorphosis Madnass”.
Algebraic laughter: summing up math jokes!
Well, looks like we’ve come to the end of our math pun party! Hopefully, these 230+ puns added some much needed humor to your day and subtracted any negative vibes. But don’t worry, the fun doesn’t have to stop here. Make sure to check out our other puns and joke posts for a good laugh and maybe even learn a thing or two. Remember, a good math pun is always a plus!