Tickle Your Funny Bone: 230+ Mustache Jokes & Puns for a Hairy Good Time!

funny Mustache jokes with one liner clever Mustache puns at PunnyFunny.com

Are you ready for a follicle-tickling good time? Look no further, because we have gathered the best mustache jokes and puns just for you! These clever quips are guaranteed to make your little ones giggle and your mustache-sporting friends snort with laughter. From funny mustache jokes to humorous puns, we’ve got a list of golden hairs that will tickle your funny bone. So sit back, relax, and get ready for some hilarious mustache humor that will leave you feeling positive and oh-so-amused!

Stay ‘stachin’ with these mustache puns and jokes – our top editor’s picks!

  1. My mustache is so bushy, it has its own zip code.
  2. My mustache walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Why the long face?”
  3. Did you hear about the mustache that fell off? It was a close-shave.
  4. What’s a mustache’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Vanilla swirl.
  5. If you tickle my mustache, does my upper lip laugh?
  6. Why was the mustache feeling down? Someone stole its razor.
  7. I don’t trust people without mustaches. They’re always up to something sneaky.
  8. My mustache went to the gym. It’s ripped now.
  9. I told my mustache a joke, but it said it couldn’t handle the ticklishness.
  10. Why did the mustache go to the hair salon? To get a quick trim.
  11. My mustache is so refined, it sips its coffee with its pinky finger up.
  12. I accidentally glued my mustache to my face. Now I can’t make a good impression.
  13. The worst part about having a mustache is constantly getting food stuck in it.
  14. I tried to grow a handlebar mustache, but I couldn’t get a grip on it.
  15. My mustache is a true gentleman. It always opens doors for ladies.
  16. Whoever said that “money can’t buy happiness” clearly never bought a top-of-the-line mustache trimmer.
  17. My mustache is a champion at hide-and-seek. It’s always hiding below my nose.
  18. I told my mustache it needed to be trimmed, but it just brushed it off.
  19. My mustache is always in style. It’s timeless.
  20. What do you get when you cross a mustache with a unicorn? A fantastache!

Tickle Your Funny Bones with These Mustache One-Liner Jokes!

  1. A mustache? More like a flavor saver for my soup!
  2. My mustache is its own fashion accessory, I call it a lip scarf.
  3. Choosing a style for my mustache is like choosing a hairstyle for my upper lip.
  4. I grew a mustache, but it just looks like someone spilled hot chocolate on my face.
  5. I may not have a six-pack, but my mustache makes up for it with its undeniable charm.
  6. People say the eyes are the windows to the soul, but I say mustaches are the curtains.
  7. My mustache isn’t thick enough for a ponytail yet, but it’s definitely a start.
  8. Some people say I have a mustache, but I prefer to call it a fuzzy caterpillar.
  9. I tried to shave my mustache once, but it was attached to my face and we had a good laugh about it.
  10. Is it impressive that I can balance a pencil on my mustache? Yes. Is it practical? Not so much.
  11. My mustache is my secret weapon for winning staring contests.
  12. Some may say it’s gross, but I like to think of my mustache as a built-in napkin.
  13. Forget “Netflix and chill”, I’m all about “Mustache Movember” and chill.
  14. I asked my barber for a trim, and now my mustache looks like it walked through a wind tunnel.
  15. My girlfriend says she loves my mustache, but I think she’s just biased because she can’t grow one.
  16. Growing a mustache is like playing a game of “how many food particles can I collect in one day?”
  17. It’s not just a mustache, it’s my upper lip’s best friend.
  18. Sorry ladies, this mustache is taken. By my razor, but still.
  19. I may not have a mustache tattooed on my finger, but I sure do have a mustache on my face.
  20. Mustaches are like glasses for the mouth. They make everything look a little more sophisticated.

Tickle Your Funny Bone with These QnA Mustache Jokes & Puns!

  1. Q: What did the mustache say to the beard? A: You’re looking very hairy today!
  2. Q: How does a mustache go on vacation? A: It packs its suitcase and makes a quick whisker trip!
  3. Q: Why was the mustache feeling down? A: It was having a bad hair day.
  4. Q: What did the mustache say to the razor? A: Don’t give me any lip!
  5. Q: How can you tell if a mustache is lying? A: Its nose hairs are growing.
  6. Q: What did the baby mustache say to its mama? A: I mustache you a question!
  7. Q: How do you fix a broken mustache? A: With a hair-loom repair kit!
  8. Q: Why was the mustache feeling proud? A: It had finally grown into its own!
  9. Q: How does a mustache stay in shape? A: It must(have) exercise!
  10. Q: Why are mustaches like snowflakes? A: No two are exactly the same!
  11. Q: How do you make a mustache laugh? A: Tickle it under its nose!
  12. Q: What’s a mustache’s favorite type of music? A: Mustic!
  13. Q: Why did the mustache cross the road? A: To get to the other sideburns!
  14. Q: What did the mustache say to the rest of the facial hair gang? A: I’m the mane attraction here!
  15. Q: What did the mustache want for its birthday? A: A little trim and a lot of grooming!
  16. Q: How does a mustache say goodbye? A: With a twirl and a wave.
  17. Q: Why did the mustache join the circus? A: It heard there were plenty of opportunities for hare raising acts.
  18. Q: How does a mustache keep warm? A: It puts on a fur coat!
  19. Q: Why was the mustache afraid of the scissors? A: It didn’t want to lose its edge.
  20. Q: How does a mustache get around town? A: It hails a taxi-cab!

Tickle Your Funny Bone with These Dad Jokes about Mustaches

  1. Why did the mustache go to the bank? To make a deposit- it was short on bristles!
  2. What did the mustache say to the beard? We make such a great ‘stache-ment together.
  3. Did you hear about the mustache that got lost? It was hair-raising!
  4. What do you call a mustache that has a cold? A tissue tickler.
  5. I wanted to shave my mustache, but I couldn’t find the razor. It mustachioed around somewhere.
  6. How does a mustache keep its hair in place? It uses must-hairspray.
  7. Did you hear about the mustache that got into a fight? It got a little hairy.
  8. What did the mustache say to the upper lip? I must-ache you a question.
  9. Why did the mustache win an award? Because it was a cut above the rest.
  10. How do you make a mustache laugh? You tickle its must-ahahaha.
  11. Did you hear about the mustache that went to a party? It was the life of the ‘stache!
  12. What do you call a bear with a mustache? A fuzzy lip-bear-d.
  13. I offered to buy my friend a new mustache, but he said he didn’t ‘mustache’ for anything.
  14. Why did the mustache go see the doctor? It was feeling a bit ‘shaggy’.
  15. What do you call a fake mustache? A ‘phoney-bra’.
  16. Why did the mustache go to the police station? To report a double homicide- it found two lip hairs on its face!
  17. Did you hear about the mustache that tried to rob a bank? It was caught ‘red-‘stached’.
  18. What did the mustache say when it saw its reflection? That’s a nice-looking upper lip!
  19. Why couldn’t the mustache play baseball? It was stuck in a ‘butterfly’ net.
  20. Did you hear about the mustache that joined a motorcycles club? It was known for its ‘handle-bar’.

Movember or not, these Funny Quotes about Mustache will make you LOL

  1. “I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.”
  2. “A man without a mustache is like a cupcake without frosting.”
  3. “A mustache is like a built-in disguise for those days when you just can’t adult.”
  4. “A mustache is like a fingerprint, no two are exactly the same.”
  5. “A man without a mustache is like a lion without a roar.”
  6. “A mustache is a gentleman’s way of saying ‘I have a ticklish upper lip.'”
  7. “My mustache brings all the ladies to the yard. And I’m like, ‘it’s attached to my face, you can’t have it.'”
  8. “Behind every great mustache is a man who knows how to use a comb.”
  9. “A mustache is the ultimate fashion statement for the upper lip.”
  10. “A mustache is just a beard’s wingman.”
  11. “Mustaches may come and go, but true gentlemen will always have one.”
  12. “You can always trust a man with a well-groomed mustache.”
  13. “A mustache is like a hairy hug for your face.”
  14. “I grew a mustache for Movember but I can’t remember how to shave it off.”
  15. “If a man has a mustache, he’s automatically 10% more attractive. Scientific fact.”
  16. “A mustache is the punctuation mark for your face.”
  17. “I may not be able to grow a beard, but by golly I can rock a mustache.”
  18. “Real men don’t shave, they just sculpt their mustaches.”
  19. “A mustache is the perfect accessory for any outfit, except maybe a wedding dress.”
  20. “Who needs upper lip Botox when you have a glorious mustache to hide your wrinkles?”

Tickle Your Funny Bone with These Wise Sayings about Mustaches

  1. A mustache may not make the man, but it sure can make him look like a walrus.
  2. A man’s mustache is like a roadmap of his personality – twisty, unpredictable, and often leading to unexpected places.
  3. Sometimes you gotta ‘stache’ yourself if a mustache is really worth the maintenance.
  4. A man with a mustache is like a tree in a forest – he’s easy to spot and impossible to ignore.
  5. A good mustache is like a good joke – it takes time to grow on you, but once it does, you can’t stop laughing.
  6. You can’t judge a man by the color of his skin, but you can definitely judge him by the thickness of his mustache.
  7. When life gives you lemons, grow a mustache and make some lemon zest.
  8. They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but a man with a well-groomed mustache is a close second.
  9. Just like snowflakes, every mustache is unique and adds its own special touch to a face.
  10. A man without a mustache is like a horse without a saddle – he might get the job done, but it’s just not as interesting to watch.
  11. A man with a sharp wit and a sharp mustache is a force to be reckoned with.
  12. Never underestimate the power of a good mustache – it can turn a boy into a man and an average Joe into a dashing Don Juan.
  13. A mustache may cover up a man’s upper lip, but it can’t hide his true intentions.
  14. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but a bushy mustache is pretty universally appealing.
  15. A mustache is like a fine wine – it gets better with age and pairs well with cheese.
  16. Some people chase fame, others chase fortune, but a wise man chases the perfect mustache.
  17. A man without a mustache is like a day without sunshine – it’s still technically there, but something is definitely missing.
  18. Sometimes the best advice in life can be summed up in one simple phrase: “grow a mustache and carry on.”
  19. A mustache can’t solve all your problems, but it sure can distract from them for a little while.
  20. In a world full of clean-shaven faces, a man with a mustache is like a breath of fresh air – slightly musky and undeniably manly.

Tickle Your Funny Bone with ‘Mustache’ Double Entendres and Puns

  1. “I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.”
  2. “Having a mustache is like wearing a built-in disguise.”
  3. “I grew a mustache for Movember, but it’s really just an excuse not to shave.”
  4. “Mustaches are like eyebrows for your upper lip.”
  5. “I’m not losing hair, I’m gaining a mustache.”
  6. “A mustache makes a man look more refined, or like he’s trying to solve a mystery.”
  7. “Who needs a razor when you’ve got a trusty mustache trimmer?”
  8. “Mustaches: because nothing says ‘I’m ready for business’ like facial hair.”
  9. “I used to think having a mustache made me look cool, but turns out it was just the milk mustache from my morning cereal.”
  10. “My mustache and I have a love-hate relationship – I love it, and it hates being shaved.”
  11. “Don’t worry about what people think of your mustache – just groom and twirl it confidently.”
  12. “I may not have a six-pack, but I’ve got a killer mustache.”
  13. “When someone says ‘nice mustache,’ I never know if they’re being serious or sarcastic.”
  14. “People say the eyes are the window to the soul, but I think the mustache is the curtain that hides it.”
  15. “I accidentally shaved off my mustache once, and felt like I lost a piece of my identity.”
  16. “A good mustache is like a good joke – it can make people laugh without even trying.”
  17. “A mustache only adds ten years to your age – if you’re a five-year-old.”
  18. “Some people collect stamps, I collect mustache styles.”
  19. “My mustache may be small, but it’s mighty and full of character.”
  20. “I like to think of my mustache as a mini sculpture that I get to wear on my face all day.”

Tickle your funny bone with these hair-larious recursive puns about mustaches!

  1. Did you hear about the mustache that went on a diet? It was trying to trim itself.
  2. When the mustache got tired of the barber’s jokes, it decided to split hairs.
  3. I tried to make a joke about a mustache, but it just mustache-nated.
  4. The mustache was feeling down, so it grew a little upper lip and cheered itself up.
  5. I saw a mustache with a unibrow once, it was quite the mustache-ious creature.
  6. Why did the mustache have a messy breakup? It just couldn’t handle the must-ache.
  7. The mustache walked into the bar and said, “I’ll have a shot of hair of the dog.”
  8. What do you call a clean-shaven mustache? A bald-faced lie.
  9. A group of mustaches went to a comedy show, but they just couldn’t keep a straight face.
  10. The mustache thought it would be funny to shave off one side, but it was a half-stache joke.
  11. Why was the mustache hesitant to go on a date? It was afraid of being stood up.
  12. I asked the mustache if it wanted to go on a hike, but it said it prefered to stay stached-in.
  13. The mustache went to the gym to get in shape, now it’s buff-stache.
  14. Why did the mustache get into a fight? It just wanted to hash-stache things out.
  15. The mustache really wanted to be in a band, but it couldn’t find the right upper-lip player.
  16. Did you hear about the mustache that joined the circus? It was the ringleader of the facial hair.
  17. What did the mustache say when it saw its reflection? “Hair today, gone tomorrow.”
  18. The mustache went to a fortune-teller, who said it was in for a hairy future.
  19. I tried to take a picture of my mustache, but it kept making a stache face.
  20. When I told my dad I was growing a mustache, he asked if I was doing it for the LOLS-tache.

Handlebar Humor: Mustache Tom Swifties That’ll Have You in Stitches

  1. “I just shaved my mustache,” Tom said, barely.
  2. “I might grow a handlebar mustache,” Tom mustered.
  3. “My mustache is getting too long,” Tom said, lip-lessly.
  4. “I can’t believe I won the mustache competition!” Tom exclaimed, mustache-fied.
  5. “I must ask you to leave my mustache alone,” Tom stated, stiffly.
  6. “I’m giving up on growing a mustache,” Tom sighed, hair-less.
  7. “My mustache is getting bushy,” Tom said, bristly.
  8. “I think I need a trim on my mustache,” Tom mused, handle-bared.
  9. “I’m going to shave my mustache into a funny shape,” Tom joked, tongue-in-cheekly.
  10. “I can’t believe how good my mustache looks,” Tom bragged, haughtily.
  11. “I need to buy some mustache wax,” Tom said, slickly.
  12. “My girlfriend loves my mustache,” Tom grinned, mustache-wise.
  13. “I feel like my mustache is growing a life of its own,” Tom chuckled, hair-raisingly.
  14. “I have a whole collection of mustache combs,” Tom boasted, must-own-ly.
  15. “I’m going for the lumberjack look with my mustache,” Tom declared, wood-enly.
  16. “I’m going to donate my mustache to charity,” Tom promised, self-less-ly.
  17. “I’m considering bleaching my mustache,” Tom said, blonde-ly.
  18. “I just got a mustache tattooed on my finger,” Tom revealed, digitally.
  19. “I’ve been growing this mustache for years,” Tom reminisced, grizzled-ly.
  20. “I think my mustache is my most prized possession,” Tom boasted, hair-loom-ly.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? A mustache. A mustache who? A mustache-ingly funny knock-knock joke!

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache my dinner time yet?
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache be kidding me!
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache you a question.
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache it up to your imagination.
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache to the store to get some milk.
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache you for a better punchline.
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache-go!
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache-can you pass me the salt?
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache-tasche the funniest joke I know.
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache-obviously funny, right?
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache-tear up from laughing so hard!
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache-st got my hat shaved off at the barber’s.
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache-e to go to the bathroom after all this laughing!
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache-don’t want to shave my beard anytime soon!
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache vacation!
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache-hing in the world is as cool as a mustache!
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache don’t forget to comb your ‘stache!
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache-extraordinary!
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache-nt believe I never thought of these jokes before!
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Now you’re just being musta-shy!

Twisted Mustache Malapropisms: Laugh-worthy Wordplay with Facial Hair

  1. “I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.”
  2. “I’ve been growing out my fungus-stache all year.”
  3. “Her mustache game is on fleas.”
  4. “He’s a real Machiavelli with that pencil-thin mustang.”
  5. “I can’t wait to go on a mustache ride with my date.”
  6. “Don’t mess with him, he’s got a mean upper lip caterpillar.”
  7. “I love that guy, he’s a real mustachioed marshmallow.”
  8. “She’s known for her elegant milk-stache.”
  9. “He’s got a handle on that handlebar mustache.”
  10. “I always get a little fuzzy feeling when I see a good truck-stache.”
  11. “Watch out for that guy, he’s sporting a three-tiered lip sweater.”
  12. “Their relationship is like a seesaw, it requires lots of compromise and a good mustache.”
  13. “I don’t trust people without mustaches, they’re up to something sneaky.”
  14. “His mustache is like a party for his face.”
  15. “I made a resolution to grow a mustache this year, but I’m already getting cold feet.”
  16. “I’m not great at math, but I can count at least three mustaches in this room.”
  17. “She’s pretty, but her mustache really brings out her inner beauty.”
  18. “This job is getting pretty stressful, I think it’s time to call in the mustachioed cavalry.”
  19. “I bet he can’t even grow a decent scrub brush mustache.”
  20. “I never knew what true love was until I found a mustache that complements my own.”

Mustache Mix-Ups: Exploring Spoonerisms about Facial Hair

  1. “Trust Macho” instead of “Mustache Comb”
  2. “Mix ‘n’ Fuddle” instead of “Flix ‘n’ Muddle”
  3. “Cash Dust” instead of “Dash Cust”
  4. “Pace Thrush” instead of “Trace Push”
  5. “Lick Fence” instead of “Fick Lence”
  6. “Gum Tomato” instead of “Tum Gato”
  7. “Pride Teeze” instead of “Tide Prease”
  8. “Shave Dust” instead of “Dust Shade”
  9. “Rash Puffle” instead of “Pash Ruffle”
  10. “Crust Tumble” instead of “Trust Cumble”
  11. “Lush Ticker” instead of “Tush Licker”
  12. “Fuzzy Whisker” instead of “Wuzzy Fisker”
  13. “Mold Buffer” instead of “Bold Muffler”
  14. “Plump Sniffer” instead of “Slump Piffer”
  15. “Blush Mustard” instead of “Mush Lustard”
  16. “Gut Slime” instead of “Sut Glime”
  17. “Fondle Mustache” instead of “Mondle Fustache”
  18. “Stache Feeler” instead of “Fatche Steeler”
  19. “Puff Duster” instead of “Duff Puster”
  20. “Stush Mush” instead of “Must Stush”

Shave it for later, that’s a wrap!

As we come to the end of this hairy but hilarious post, I mustache you to keep the puns and jokes coming! Trust me, a good sense of humor is the key to a great mustache. And if you’re still craving more follicle-focused fun, be sure to check out our other pun and joke posts. Until then, remember to always keep your upper lip stiff and your witticisms even stiffer. Happy laughing, my fellow stache-lovers!

Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com

PunnyFunny Team

I'm Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com, where I and my team share the best puns and jokes with the world. My passion for original humor drives me to create content that keeps everyone smiling. As a dedicated humorist, I've made PunnyFunny.com a haven for those who love a good laugh, just like me. Explore my Best Puns & Jokes collection.

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