Ring in the Laughter: 230+ New Year Jokes & Puns!

Welcome to our list of the best puns about the new year! If you’re in need of some humor to kick off the new year, you’ve come to the right place. These jokes are perfect for kids (and adults who still have a kid-like sense of humor). Get ready to ring in the new year with a clever and positive attitude. So without further ado, let’s dive into our list of funny and hilarious New Year jokes. Get ready to have a good laugh – and possibly cringe a bit too!

Start the ‘New Year’ with a giggle: Our top ‘Puns & Jokes’ picks for 2021!

1. Why did the scarecrow win the New Year’s resolution contest? Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. What do you call a snowman party on New Year’s Eve? A frosty fiesta!
3. What dance do ghosts do on New Year’s Eve? The boo-gie!
4. Why was the math book sad on New Year’s Day? Because it had too many problems.
5. How do you know when it’s time to go on a diet? When you count more candles than cake on your birthday.
6. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a brass instrument? A jump-tooting New Year!
7. Why did the tomato turn red on New Year’s Eve? Because it saw the salad dressing!
8. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? He takes it to the toad-ol service station.
9. How does a turtle celebrate New Year’s Eve? With a slow and steady countdown.
10. What do you call an alligator in a vest on New Year’s Day? An investi-gator!
11. Why did the clock go back four seconds at midnight on New Year’s Eve? It wanted to be just in time for the party!
12. What do you call a bear with no teeth on New Year’s Day? A toothless grizzly!
13. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
14. Why don’t skeletons go to New Year’s parties? They have no body to dance with!
15. How do sheep celebrate New Year’s Eve? With a wooly good time!
16. What did the banana say to the apple on New Year’s Day? Happy peelings!
17. How does the New Year’s caterpillar celebrate? By throwing a metamorphosis party!
18. Why did the old calendar go into therapy? Because it had too many days!
19. How do you make Lady Gaga cry on New Year’s Eve? Have her watch Mariah Carey’s live performance.
20. Why was the math book unhappy on New Year’s Eve? Because it was full of problems and had no resolutions.

Laugh Your Way into the New Year with these Hilarious One-Liner Jokes

1. My New Year’s resolution is to stay away from exercise. I’m already in a committed relationship with my bed.
2. A New Year’s kiss is just a PDA sanctioned by society.
3. I’m not making any New Year’s resolutions this year. I’m just going to stay the same disappointing person I’ve always been.
4. If at first you don’t succeed with your New Year’s resolutions, just remember, tomorrow is National Hangover Day.
5. January 1st: when everyone suddenly remembers they have a gym membership.
6. The only thing I’m committing to this year is committing to not committing.
7. My New Year’s resolution is to be more humble, but I’m already perfect so…
8. The best part about making New Year’s resolutions is breaking them. It’s like a little rebel inside of me cheering me on.
9. My New Year’s resolution is to be less lazy, but that can wait until next year.
10. A New Year’s kiss is just the non-alcoholic version of a drunk text.
11. January 1st: the hangover from last night’s dreams.
12. My New Year’s resolution is to eat healthier, but I have a feeling pizza will still have a special place in my heart (and stomach).
13. The best part about being in a relationship on New Year’s Eve is pretending to know the words to “Auld Lang Syne”.
14. I may have forgotten my New Year’s resolutions, but at least I remembered to wear pants today.
15. The best part about going to a New Year’s party is leaving before midnight and getting a good night’s sleep.
16. My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate less, but I’ll probably get around to that next year.
17. Celebrating New Year’s Eve is just an excuse to wear glitter without being judged.
18. My New Year’s resolution is to be more positive, but let’s be real, I’m going to need a lot of wine to make that happen.
19. The struggle of keeping New Year’s resolutions is real. That’s why I stick to making resolutions for my sims.
20. Remember, you don’t need a New Year to make a change. You can also just go to bed earlier tonight.

Ring in the Laughter: QnA Jokes & Puns about New Year’s Festivities

1. Q: Why did the New Year’s baby refuse to take a nap? A: Because he didn’t want to wake up in a different year!
2. Q: What do you call a New Year’s resolution that doesn’t stick? A: A New Year’s delusion.
3. Q: How did the calendar celebrate New Year’s Eve? A: With a happy end and a new date!
4. Q: Why did the tomato turn red on New Year’s Eve? A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
5. Q: How did the snowman ring in the New Year? A: By throwing a New Year’s snowball!
6. Q: What do you get when you cross a New Year’s resolution with a tiger? A: A “roaring” success!
7. Q: What did 2020 say to 2021? A: “Give me a break, will ya?”
8. Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite New Year’s tradition? A: A “yeary” good time!
9. Q: What did Cinderella do when she got to midnight on New Year’s Eve? A: She left her slipper behind and danced until the ball dropped!
10. Q: What did the English muffin say on New Year’s Day? A: “I’m on a roll!”
11. Q: Which country’s New Year’s celebration is always the shortest? A: Ireland, because they’re always Dublin the time!
12. Q: What did the dad say when his calendar fell on New Year’s Eve? A: “Looks like I’m gonna need a new date!”
13. Q: How do you know when a ghost is ready for the new year? A: When it turns over a new sheet!
14. Q: What’s the best thing about making New Year’s resolutions? A: Not keeping them!
15. Q: What do you call a snowman in summer? A: A puddle waiting to happen.
16. Q: What’s the best exercise for a New Year’s resolution? A: Running from temptation!
17. Q: How do snails celebrate New Year’s Eve? A: They start at a snail’s pace and slowly pick up speed until they reach midnight!
18. Q: What’s the first thing a soccer player does on New Year’s Day? A: Turn over a new leaf!
19. Q: What did the clock say at midnight on New Year’s Eve? A: “I’m just going through a phase.”
20. Q: How does the moon celebrate New Year’s Eve? A: With a lunar-tic party!

Dad Jokes about New Year: Starting the Year with Some Laughs

1. “Why did the calendar go to therapy? Because it had too many days to keep track of!”
2. “I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions, but I did start a ‘Procrastinators Anonymous’ support group. We’ll have our first meeting next year.”
3. “Why was the math book sad on New Year’s Day? Because its days were numbered!”
4. “What did one New Year’s resolution say to the other? ‘I’ll see you in about a week.'”
5. “I told my wife she was drawing pointless circles on her New Year’s resolutions list. She said they were just rounding out her goals.”
6. “Why did the scarecrow win an award on New Year’s Eve? It was outstanding in its field!”
7. “My New Year’s resolution is to lose weight. So far, I’ve only got rid of the 2020 pounds.”
8. “I can’t wait to start eating healthier in the new year…right after I finish this last box of holiday chocolates.”
9. “Why did the lemon go to the New Year’s party? To get lemon-aide.”
10. “I asked my daughter if she had any resolutions for the new year. She said, ‘I resolve to remember to do my homework and clean my room.’ I told her, ‘Well, I resolve to remind you every day.'”
11. “What’s a farmer’s favorite part of New Year’s Eve? The countdown to all the good ‘crop in’ jokes!”
12. “Why did the bubble wrap go to the New Year’s Eve party? Because it wanted to pop ‘n’ celebrate!”
13. “I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.”
14. “Why did the ghost make a New Year’s resolution? To haunt more houses.”
15. “My New Year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating, but I’ll probably just start working on that next year.”
16. “Why did the banana go to the New Year’s party? It heard there would be lots of peeling and dancing!”
17. “What kind of music do balloons hate? Pop music! Watch out for those New Year’s Eve balloons.”
18. “I don’t always make New Year’s resolutions, but when I do, I make sure they’re impossible to keep.”
19. “Why was the clock feeling down on New Year’s Day? Because it realized it had been ticking away another year without taking a vacation.”
20. “I asked my friend what his New Year’s resolution was. He said, ‘I want to travel more.’ I said, ‘Like around the world?’ He said, ‘No, just to the fridge and back.'”

New Year, Same Me… Just More Hilarious: Funny Quotes about New Year

1. “I hope my New Year’s resolution sticks longer than my last Instagram story.”
2. “My idea of a diet is shrinking my wardrobe to fit into my holiday weight gain.”
3. “New year, same me. Just with a fresh coat of glitter.”
4. “I solemnly swear I am up to no good… again this year.”
5. “My New Year’s kiss? More like my New Year’s miss- I tripped and ended up hugging the wrong person.”
6. “New year, new me? More like new year, new excuse to buy more chocolate.”
7. “My idea of a balanced diet is a cupcake in each hand.”
8. “May all your troubles last as long as your resolutions.”
9. “This year, I’ll pretend to listen to my friends’ resolutions while secretly planning my next snack break.”
10. “Breaking news: I have kept up with my New Year’s resolution for a whole 24 hours.”
11. “New year, new me? Nah, I’ll just stick with my old, lovable self.”
12. “I don’t need weights to get into shape, just a spoon and a jar of Nutella.”
13. “My fitness resolution? Trying to fit into my jeans after indulging in holiday feasts.”
14. “I’m not really into resolutions, but if 2020 could end on its own, that would be great.”
15. “New year, new me? More like new year, same messy room.”
16. “The only thing getting thinner this year is my patience for unrealistic resolutions.”
17. “My therapist told me laughter is the best medicine, so here’s to a hysterical new year.”
18. “I’m not saying I’m a procrastinator, but it’s mid-January and I’m still writing 2019 on my school papers.”
19. “Here’s to another year of pretending to understand social media trends.”
20. “My New Year’s resolution? To make it through the whole year without setting off the fire alarm while cooking.”

Ring in the ‘New Year’ with a Laugh: Hilarious Proverbs and Wise Words to Live By

1. “A hangover on New Year’s Day is like a gift that keeps on giving.”
2. “If your New Year’s resolution is to lose weight, remember that the first few pounds are just water weight from all the champagne.”
3. “The best way to keep your New Year’s resolutions is to not make any in the first place.”
4. “New Year’s Eve is the one night of the year where it’s acceptable to kiss a stranger at midnight without getting pepper sprayed.”
5. “A new year means a clean slate, but let’s be real, that slate is going to be filled with just as many mistakes and regrets as the last one.”
6. “New Year’s Eve is the perfect time to reflect on all the money you wasted on gym memberships you never used.”
7. “The only thing harder than keeping a New Year’s resolution is trying to stay awake until midnight.”
8. “If you’re still wearing your party hat and blowing your noisemaker on New Year’s Day, you probably had a good night.”
9. “New Year’s resolutions are like babies: fun to make, but a pain to maintain.”
10. “Another year, another chance to pretend that January 1st will magically make us all motivated and productive.”
11. “I’ve decided to stop making New Year’s resolutions and just embrace my flaws instead.”
12. “New Year’s Eve is the night where there’s either no such thing as too much champagne or too much glitter.”
13. “May your New Year’s resolution be as strong as your willpower after a few glasses of wine.”
14. “The best part about New Year’s resolutions is coming up with creative excuses for why we couldn’t keep them.”
15. “New Year’s Eve: for one night, we can all pretend to be professional party planners and mixologists.”
16. “New Year’s resolution idea: stop making resolutions and start living your best life all year round.”
17. “I don’t always stick to my New Year’s resolutions, but when I do, it’s because they involve eating more chocolate.”
18. “The key to a successful New Year’s Eve party is to have enough food to soak up all the alcohol.”
19. “New Year’s resolution: stop making unrealistic expectations for myself and my bank account.”
20. “Cheers to another year of pretending that we have our lives together, one champagne flute at a time.”

Ring in the ‘New Year’ with a Bang of ‘Double Entendres’ and a dash of ‘Punny’ Goodness

1. “I guess it’s time to ring in the New Year…or is that just the sound of my wine glass clinking?”
2. “Ready to start fresh? Better make sure the champagne is chilled and the resolutions are still hot.”
3. “I hope this year brings you more success than your Tinder profile.”
4. “The ball is dropping, and so is my willpower to stick to my diet.”
5. “New year, new me? More like new year, new Instagram filter.”
6. “It’s not New Year’s without some fireworks…both in the sky and in the bedroom.”
7. “Cheers to a new year and new beginnings…or just the excuse to pop open another bottle.”
8. “New resolution: find a resolution I can stick to longer than a week.”
9. “The champagne’s not the only thing that’s going to be popping tonight.”
10. “I didn’t make any resolutions this year…I find that disappointment is best left in the past.”
11. “May this year bring you more luck than your credit card company.”
12. “I’m ringing in the new year with a bang…and maybe a hangover tomorrow.”
13. “A new year means a fresh start…or at least a fresh bottle of bubbly.”
14. “Let’s welcome the new year with arms wide open…and glasses even wider.”
15. “My resolution this year? To use my gym membership at least once…to cancel it.”
16. “Tonight, we feast and drink merrily…tomorrow, we detox and regret.”
17. “The countdown to midnight is on…but let’s be real, the real countdown is for the snacks.”
18. “Don’t worry about the ball dropping, you’ve got gravity on your side.”
19. “New year, new beginnings…or just a chance to switch up the year on my checks.”
20. “The only thing I’m resolving to do this year is continue to be my fabulous self.”

New Year, New Puns: A Recursive Tangle of Word-play

1. Why did the calendar go to therapy? It had a lot of new year’s resolutions to keep.
2. What did the clock say to the calendar on January 1st? Same time next year?
3. Why was the New Year’s Eve party sad? Because it knew it would be over in a minute.
4. How did the snowman celebrate New Year’s? He had a meltdown.
5. What do you call a fake month? Jan-yewery.
6. How did the tree celebrate New Year’s? It put its root beer out.
7. What did the clock say when it was getting late on New Year’s Eve? Tick-tock, time to rock.
8. Why couldn’t the janitor clean up after the New Year’s party? Because he had a resolution to stay out of the mess.
9. How do you know when it’s time to go to the party? When the calendar flips out.
10. What did the champagne say to the wine on New Year’s Eve? You’re bubbly but I have more class.
11. How do you get a new year off to a good start? With a resolution-olution.
12. Why did the calendar run a marathon on New Year’s Day? It wanted to start the year off with a run.
13. What did the clock say to the calendar when it got a new set of batteries? Happy fresh charge of the year!
14. How do you know when the year is almost over? When the calendar is running out of days.
15. What did the party hat say when it was time to take it off after New Year’s? This is my last hurrah!
16. How do you get a date for New Year’s Eve? Don’t worry, things will just fall into place.
17. What happened at the New Year’s ball? It dropped and everyone was swept off their feet.
18. Why did the calendar skip 7 days in a row? It was having a week year.
19. How do you break the ice at a New Year’s party? With a cool resolution.
20. What did the bell say at midnight on New Year’s Eve? Ding, ding, dong – happy New Year to you all!

New Year, new puns – Tom Swifties to start with a bang!

1. “I can’t wait to celebrate the New Year,” Tom said cheerfully.
2. “I’ll be sure to make some resolutions,” Tom vowed resolutely.
3. “I hope the countdown starts soon,” Tom said anxiously.
4. “I’m wearing my lucky socks tonight,” Tom said confidently.
5. “I’ll be at the party, rain or shine,” Tom said steadfastly.
6. “I’ll have a drink for each month of the year,” Tom said monthly.
7. “I really hope to find a date before midnight,” Tom said desperately.
8. “I’m hoping for a kiss at midnight,” Tom said puckeringly.
9. “This year, I’m going to be more productive,” Tom said ambitiously.
10. “Maybe I’ll finally learn a new dance move,” Tom said step by step.
11. “I’m going to change my hairstyle in the New Year,” Tom said cuttingly.
12. “I’m going to get fit and join a gym,” Tom said flexingly.
13. “I’ve already started my New Year’s diet,” Tom said trimly.
14. “I’ll try to be more organized this year,” Tom said systematically.
15. “I’m bringing my party hat and noise makers,” Tom said noisily.
16. “I’m hoping to find some New Year’s romance,” Tom said lovingly.
17. “I’m going to make my dreams come true this year,” Tom said dreamily.
18. “I’m ready to make a toast,” Tom said raisingly.
19. “I’ll be watching the ball drop from my couch,” Tom said lazily.
20. “I’m going to paint the town red tonight,” Tom said colorfully.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? A fresh start! Knock-knock jokes about New Year to make you giggle your way into the new year.

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? New. New who? New year, who dis?
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivy. Ivy who? Ivy-e got a resolution to make you laugh this new year!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Auld. Auld who? Auld acquaintance forgot to tell you this joke!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Juan. Juan who? Juan more year to be silly and joke around!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kimchi. Kimchi who? Kimchi your resolutions for a healthier new year!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Penny. Penny who? Penny for your thoughts on making new year’s jokes?
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stan. Stan who? Stand by me as we ring in the new year with laughter!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Frosty. Frosty who? Frosty the snowman is making his new year’s resolutions too!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hannah. Hannah who? Hannah another year of cheesy jokes!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah better way to start the new year than with a good joke!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive for new year’s day so I can start cracking these jokes!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rudy. Rudy who? Rudy-dolph may have gone back to the North Pole, but I’m here with a new year’s joke for you!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Eve. Eve who? Eve-ryone loves a good new year’s joke!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mo. Mo who? Mo laughs and jokes, mo happiness in the new year!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gloria. Gloria who? Gloria new year and a good joke to start it off right!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leo. Leo who? Leo-ver the jokes and onto the next one!
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candice. Candice who? Candice the perfect time to share a new year’s joke!
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rex. Rex who? Rex-cuse me, but do you have any more new year’s jokes?
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tammy. Tammy who? Tammy-new year, Tammy-same old jokes!
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Yew. Yew who? Yew-nique and funny jokes for the new year!

Cheers to a Cluckin’ Good ‘New Year’ of Malapropisms!

1. “May your New Year be full of ‘procrastination’ instead of ‘prosperity’!”
2. “I wish you a year filled with ‘chocolate chips’ instead of ‘challenges’!”
3. “Let’s raise a toast to a year of ‘confusion’ instead of ‘resolution’!”
4. “I hope your New Year is overflowing with ‘noodle soup’ instead of ‘good luck’!”
5. “Here’s to a year of ‘mooing’ instead of ‘new beginnings’!”
6. “Wishing you a year of ‘marriage counseling’ instead of ‘New Year’s resolutions’!”
7. “May your year be filled with ‘cauliflower’ instead of ‘celebration’!”
8. “I hope your New Year is a ‘crappy’ one… I mean ‘joyful’!”
9. “Let’s make this year one to ‘fondue’ instead of ‘celebrate’!”
10. “Sending you wishes for a year of ‘taxidermy’ instead of ‘tranquility’!”
11. “May your year be full of ‘snacks’ instead of ‘success’!”
12. “Wishing you a year of ‘turtlenecks’ instead of ‘turning over a new leaf’!”
13. “Here’s to a year of ‘dancing bears’ instead of ‘fresh starts’!”
14. “I hope your New Year is filled with ‘spiders’ instead of ‘sparks’!”
15. “Let’s make this year one of ‘napping’ instead of ‘new beginnings’!”
16. “Wishing you a year of ‘butt sniffing’ instead of ‘bucket lists’!”
17. “May your year be full of ‘accidents’ instead of ‘achievements’!”
18. “I hope your New Year is ‘to infinity and beyond’… I mean ‘full of joy and happiness’!”
19. “Let’s raise a glass to a year of ‘nachos’ instead of ‘new goals’!”
20. “Wishing you a year of ‘vacations’ instead of ‘victories’!”

Nifty Nonsense: Spoonerisms about the Start of January

1. “Nappy Fear” instead of “Happy New Year”
2. “Dear Gropings” instead of “Year Droppings”
3. “Gear Nears” instead of “New Gears”
4. “Queer nearness” instead of “New Year’s Eve”
5. “Bear Cheer” instead of “New Year’s Day”
6. “Rude Deer” instead of “New Year’s Resolution”
7. “Dew Nearer” instead of “New Year’s Countdown”
8. “Brew Leer” instead of “New Year’s Party”
9. “Clear Beer” instead of “New Year’s Toast”
10. “Tier Bop” instead of “New Year’s Ball Drop”
11. “Fool Deer” instead of “New Year’s Eve Celebrations”
12. “Mew Beer” instead of “New Year’s Eve Countdown”
13. “Deer Swish” instead of “New Year’s Eve Kiss”
14. “Tear Gear” instead of “New Year’s Gear”
15. “Ferry Near” instead of “New Year’s Fireworks”
16. “Reary Spear” instead of “Happy New Year”
17. “Roo Steer” instead of “New Year’s Eve Party”
18. “Squeer Dear” instead of “New Year’s Cheers”
19. “Shoe Pear” instead of “New Year’s Resolutions”
20. “Rarest Year” instead of “New Year’s Start”

Pun-believable! Wrapping up the New Year’s laughs!

Thank you for reading our punny post about New Year! We hope you’re feeling batty about these hilarious word plays and ready to take on the upcoming year with a smile. Don’t forget to check out our other related pun and joke posts to keep the laughs coming. Trust us, they’re knot to be missed! Cheers to a pun-tastic year ahead!