105+ Nun Jokes & Puns: Holy Hilarious Habits!

Get ready to laugh until your sides hurt with the best nun jokes around! This list of puns about nuns is sure to bring a smile to your face, even if you’re more familiar with pews than nightclub booths (though did you know there’s actually a patron saint of beer? Even nuns like a good party!). From habits to hymns, we’ve got all the holy humor you need. Buckle up for some clever and positive puns that are sure to leave you feeling heavenly.

Top Nun Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Habitually Funny

  1. That nun’s habit? Totally sew it! 🪡
  2. Heard about the runaway nun? It’s a habit she’s trying to break. 🏃‍♀️
  3. A nun walks into a bakery… Orders a cake and says, “Make it a habit!” 🎂
  4. Nun’s favorite game? Connect the Dots. 🖩
  5. You know you’re in trouble… When the nun has a ruler and a stern look. 📏🤨
  6. Becoming a nun: It’s a divine calling, not a side hustle. 🙏
  7. The monastery’s wifi password? NunYaBusiness! 📶🤫
  8. Nuns are great at poker… They always have a strong poker face. 🃏
  9. Don’t mess with a nun… They’re very habit-forming. 😉
  10. Nuns are always in fashion… Their outfits are timeless classics. 👗✨
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun Who? Nun of your business! 🚪
  12. Nuns are excellent organizers… They always have a plan. 🗓️
  13. The nun’s favorite type of music? Organ-ic! 🎶
  14. I tried to explain atheism to a nun… She didn’t get the point. 🙄
  15. Nuns are always right… They’re practically saints! 😇
  16. How do you make holy water? You boil the nun out of it! 💧🔥 (Just kidding!) 😜
  17. What did the nun say to the ATM? “I’d like to make a habit-ual deposit.” 🏧💰
Funny Nun Jokes With One Liner Clever Nun Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny Nun One-Liner Jokes: Habits Were Made to Break ‘Em

  1. A nun walks into a bakery and asks for a loaf of bread. The baker says, “Sorry, we’re all out.” The nun replies, “Well, kneadless to say, I’m disappointed.”
  2. Why did the nun wear a watch on her habit? To make sure she kept to her vows… time flies when you’re having fun!
  3. The new nun was a bit of a rebel. She joined the convent for the silence, but all she wanted to do was have a habit of talking.
  4. Never ask a nun to make you cookies, they’re always habit-forming!
  5. The nun quit her job as a pastry chef because she couldn’t stand the pie-ous atmosphere.
  6. I saw a nun driving a race car the other day… Talk about a fast habit!
  7. Why did the nun fail her driving test? Because she kept trying to park in the sin bin!
  8. Two nuns decided to open a flower shop. People loved it; they heard business was blooming!
  9. Heard about the nun who started a dry-cleaning business? She’s got that whole habit-cleaning thing down pat.
  10. The head nun told the choir, “We need to find a new hymn for the wine cellar.” The other nuns replied, “How about Chardonnay, My Lord, Chardonnay?”
  11. Don’t challenge a nun to a staring contest. They’ve mastered the art of “nun” of your business.”
  12. The monastery had a talent show, but it was canceled last minute. Turns out they didn’t have any organ-izers.
  13. What’s black and white and red all over? A nun with a sunburn!
  14. I used to be a baker, but I quit and became a nun. Now I sell rosaries. I guess you could say I make a living off beads.
  15. Why don’t nuns get married? They’re already married to God… and they’re pretty sure he snores.
  16. The nun tried to join the online dating site, but she couldn’t find the option to join as “spiritually single”.

QnA Jokes & Puns about Nun: Habits and Holy Hilarity

  1. Q: Why did the nun get kicked out of the casino? A: She kept having habitual wins!
  2. Q: What’s the difference between a nun and a penguin? A: One wears a habit on their head, the other wears a habitat on their back.
  3. Q: Where do nuns go to have a good time? A: A holy-day inn!
  4. Q: What do you call a nun who sleepwalks? A: A roamin’ Catholic!
  5. Q: Why was the nun’s computer so slow? A: She had too many pop-up prayers!
  6. Q: What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken? A: An eggsplicit confession!
  7. Q: Why did the nun bring a ladder to the confessional? A: She wanted to get to high heaven!
  8. Q: Why did the nun always carry a ruler? A: To make sure her habits were always in line!
  9. Q: Why don’t nuns get married? A: They dedicated their lives to being nun of the above!
  10. Q: What do you call a group of nuns playing musical instruments? A: An unholy racket!
  11. Q: What do you call a nun who fences? A: A sister with a point!
  12. Q: Why did the nun get fired from her job as a librarian? A: She kept shushing everyone in the name of the Lord!
  13. Q: Why are nuns like accountants? A: They both have to take a vow of poverty!
  14. Q: Why did the ghost go to the convent? A: He heard the nuns were holy spirits!
  15. Q: What’s a nun’s favorite type of car? A: A Honda Accord, because nun run like it!
  16. Q: How does a nun make holy water? A: She boils the hell out of it!
  17. Q: Why are nuns so good at poker? A: They have a direct line to the higher stakes!

Dad Jokes about Nun: Habits You’ll Love

  1. Why did the nun always carry a ruler? She wanted to make sure she was always on the straight and narrow!
  2. I used to have a job making calendars for nuns… Turns out, habits really do form after 28 days!
  3. Why don’t nuns play poker? They always have a full habit!
  4. Why was the nun’s bicycle chain rusty? She kept getting into bad habits!
  5. My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it… So I took it to the convent. Now I guess I have to go back and pick up my nun-in-law!
  6. Two nuns decided to open a flower shop… They called it “Sister’s Petals!”
  7. Did you hear about the nun who went to the Apple store? Apparently, there’s an app for mass!
  8. Why are nuns such good gardeners? They have holy water on tap!
  9. The new nun was having trouble fitting in… Turns out, she just needed a little habit-uation!
  10. Where do cool nuns come from? The Fri-gidaire!
  11. What do you call a nun who sleepwalks? A roaming Catholic!
  12. What’s a nun’s favorite type of music? Organ music, of course!
  13. What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t try to get an egg out of her!
  14. Why couldn’t the nun find her car in the parking lot? She left on her habit and forgot where she parked!
  15. My friend wanted to start a dating app for nuns… I told him, “Get thee to the App Store!”
  16. Why did the nun bring an extra robe to the beach? In case she wanted to go swimming in the habit-at!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Nun: Habits and Hallelujahs

  1. “Becoming a nun was a truly habit-forming experience.” (play on the word “habit” as clothing and behavior)
  2. “She left the convent to become a baker. Said she missed having a roll in the community.” (play on “roll” as bread and having influence)
  3. “They say nuns are always giving to others. Guess that’s why they have nun for themselves!” (play on “nun” sounding like “none”)
  4. “That nun’s got some serious dance moves. She’s got that holy groove.” (play on “holy” and common phrase)
  5. “Signed up for a cooking class taught by a nun…excited to see what divine dishes she whips up!” (play on “divine” related to religious figures)
  6. “You know you’ve been hanging out with nuns too long when…” (leave open ended for added humor)
  7. “My life goal? To be as cool as a cucumber…or at least as cool as a nun with a ruler.” (unexpected comparison for humor)
  8. “Just saw a nun driving a sports car. Guess she really found her calling!” (play on “calling” as religious purpose and car brand)
  9. “Never get into an argument with a nun. They’ve got unconditional comebacks.” (reference to unconditional love)
  10. “Some people collect stamps, some collect coins…me? I collect awkward encounters with nuns. I have a habit.” (play on “habit” two ways again)
  11. “Heard the new choir director is tough…rumor has it nun of the nuns are allowed to sing off-key.” (play on “nun” as “none”)
  12. “What do you call a nun who’s a skilled martial artist? A sister act you don’t want to mess with.” (play on the “sister” term and a movie)
  13. “That awkward moment you forget your line in church and the nun gives you the side-eye from the front pew.” (relatable humor)
  14. “Never underestimate a group of nuns on a mission…they’ll pray for you, then they’ll outsmart you.” (plays on preconceived notions with a humorous twist)

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Nun: Habits and Humorous Insights

  1. A nun’s work is never done, especially when there’s fresh-baked communion wafers.
  2. Early to bed and early to rise makes a nun healthy, wealthy, and wise… but mostly just holy.
  3. Don’t count your Hail Marys before they’re prayed.
  4. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him join a convent.
  5. Too many cooks spoil the broth, but one nun with a good recipe can feed a whole parish.
  6. A penny saved is a penny earned, and a penny donated gets you a prayer closer to heaven.
  7. The habit doesn’t make the nun, but it does make laundry day a breeze.
  8. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt, especially during vespers.
  9. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless you’re a nun, in which case silence is golden.
  10. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it probably got cleaned faster with a team of nuns on the job.
  11. You can’t judge a book by its cover, or a nun by her habit… unless it’s on backwards, then she might be having a day.
  12. Many hands make light work, which is why the nuns always get everyone to help with the bake sale.
  13. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana… and nuns? Well, they usually walk in an orderly fashion.
  14. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again… unless you’re a nun trying to sneak an extra cookie from the jar, then you’re probably out of luck.
  15. All’s fair in love and war, but in a convent, it’s mostly just peace and quiet (and maybe a little gossip during knitting circle).

Nun Double Entendres Puns: Habits & Vows

  1. The nun told me my future was uncertain, but then winked and said, “Nun of your business.”
  2. A group of nuns started a baking business. They call themselves “Sisters of the Dough.”
  3. I tried to sneak into the convent’s secret wine cellar, but the Mother Superior caught me. She said, “Nun shall pass.”
  4. Why did the nun get kicked out of the casino? She kept having holy rollers.
  5. That nun’s singing is divine! Well, technically, I guess it’s just nun of the above.
  6. I asked the nun if she’d ever break her vow of silence. She whispered, “Nun of your beeswax.”
  7. The nun decided to open a nail salon. She’s calling it “Tips for the Habit.”
  8. Why did the nun always win at poker? She had a heavenly hand.
  9. The novice nun was struggling with her vows. She said, “To be nun or nun to be, that is the question!”
  10. That new nun is really popular. I guess everyone wants to be her friend, nun excluded.
  11. I saw a nun driving a sports car yesterday. I thought, “Well, nun of us are perfect.”
  12. What do you get if you cross a nun and a boxing referee? A women who gets knocked out for a living but nun of them can hurt her.
  13. The nun joined a rock band. They’re called “Sister Act of Defiance.”
  14. Why are nuns such good detectives? They’re always looking for signs from above and consider all the habits.
  15. That nun is one tough cookie. She’s as hard as nails and twice as habit-forming.
  16. The nun went to the doctor complaining of feeling off. He said, “Well, you’re nun the worse for wear.”

Funny Nun Tom Swifties: Habits of Laughter

  1. “I’m off to morning prayers,” said the nun, holier-than-thou.
  2. “This convent needs a fresh coat of paint,” the nun said, whitely.
  3. “I just love Gregorian chants!” the nun declared, hymningly.
  4. “Have you seen my rosary beads?” the nun asked, beadily.
  5. “This gruel is rather bland,” the nun remarked, habit-ually.
  6. “I’m late for choir practice!” the nun whispered, chorally.
  7. “The donation box feels a little light,” the nun noted, pensively.
  8. “Please pass the communion wafers,” the nun requested, crisply.
  9. “Our Mother Superior is quite strict,” the novice whispered, convent-ionally.
  10. “Let’s start the evening prayers,” the nun chanted, nocturnally.
  11. “Did you remember to order the incense?” the nun inquired, frankincense-ly.
  12. “My habit got caught on the pew!” the nun cried, unabashedly.
  13. “Don’t forget your wimple,” the nun admonished, pointedly.
  14. “I find solace in silence,” the nun murmured, quietly.
  15. “I’ve taken a vow of poverty,” the nun declared, poorly.
  16. “Our garden is looking lovely this time of year,” the nun said, charitably.
  17. “I hear confession now,” the nun intoned, solemnly.

Knock-knock Jokes about Nun for Habitual Laughs

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun of your business!
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun-derstand this, you need to let me in!
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun-sense, there’s no way I’m that funny!
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? It’s nun of my business, but you have a little something on your nose!
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun… I forgot what I was going to say!
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun ya business, that’s for you to workout, and for me to know!
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun of your beeswax!
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Aw, c’mon, let me in! It’s cold out here for a nun!
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun of this would have happened if you’d just opened the door sooner!
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun shall pass…except for you, I guess!
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Are you sure it’s ‘nun’, because it sounds a little habit-forming!
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? You know, they say laughter is good for the soul… even a nun’s soul!
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Hey, it’s me again! Still nun of your business!
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Alright, alright, I’ll get going. Just trying to spread a little nun-denominational cheer!
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nun. Nun who? Nun… I give up! What’s the punchline?
Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com

PunnyFunny Team

I'm Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com, where I and my team share the best puns and jokes with the world. My passion for original humor drives me to create content that keeps everyone smiling. As a dedicated humorist, I've made PunnyFunny.com a haven for those who love a good laugh, just like me. Explore my Best Puns & Jokes collection.

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