230+ Olive-tly Hilarious Jokes & Puns: Laugh Your Pits Off!

funny Olive jokes with one liner clever Olive puns at PunnyFunny.com

Looking for some clever and humorous jokes for kids? Well, olive you’ve come to the right place! Get ready to add some pizzazz to your day with this list of the best puns about olives. Trust me, these jokes will definitely put an olive-sized smile on your face. So sit back, relax, and enjoy some positive and lighthearted humor with our olive-inspired jokes. No need to thank me, it’s all for the love of humor. Let’s dive in, shall we?

Olive Me Some Punny Jokes – Editor’s Picks for a Good Laugh

  1. Why did the olive go to therapy? To get pitted!
  2. What did the olive say when it won the race? Olive you to the finish line!
  3. Did you hear about the olive who couldn’t stop crying? It was going through a pimento-tional period.
  4. Why did the olive start a garden? It wanted to grow its own olive branch!
  5. How does an olive get rid of a headache? It takes an olive leaf.
  6. What did the zombie say to the olive? Olive you to pieces!
  7. Why did the olive go to jail? It was guilty of olive-ous conduct.
  8. How do you make an olive laugh? You tickle its little pickle!
  9. What did the olive say to the toothpick? Olive you, you’re the pick of the bunch!
  10. Why couldn’t the olive join the Greek chorus? It was too pit-iful at singing.
  11. What do you call an olive that’s always late? An oliv-timer.
  12. What’s an olive’s favorite dance move? The olive twist!
  13. How do you make an olive float? You add some mineral oil and a little root beer.
  14. What’s an olive’s favorite instrument? The machete.
  15. Why did the olive go to culinary school? It wanted to learn how to be a dip-lomat.
  16. What did the olive say when it couldn’t find its missing pimento? Oh, live where art thou?
  17. Why did the martini break up with the olive? Because it was too dry for its taste.
  18. How do you know an olive is having a good time? It’s olive-in’ it up!
  19. Did you hear about the olive who was afraid of heights? It was always olive-ing on the ground.
  20. What’s an olive’s favorite color? Olive green, of course!

Bringing the Laugh with Funny ‘Olive’ One-Liner Jokes!

  1. I told my roommate I wanted pizza, and he said he wanted olives. I guess we can’t Kalamata compromise.
  2. How do you know if an olive is lying? Ju-gones.
  3. Why did the olive go to therapy? It had a lot of pit-ssues.
  4. What did the olive say when it got complimented? “Olive you too!”
  5. I asked my date if she wanted an olive in her martini and she said, “Yes, please-s!”
  6. Did you hear about the olive that got stuck in the rain? It became all drain-ed.
  7. What’s an olive’s favorite pastime? Playing Olive-r Twist.
  8. Why did the olive go to the gym? To get fatty acids.
  9. I saw a movie about olives, but it was pittedly made.
  10. Why did the olive join the army? To become an olive-inator.
  11. Did you hear about the olive that went skydiving? It was considered a thrill-ilive.
  12. What did the snobby olive say to the other olive? “You are literally BENEATH me.”
  13. I can’t believe I won a million dollars on a scratch-off ticket with the word ‘olive’ on it. It was like I won the O-live-or.
  14. Why was the olive jealous of the tomato? Because it was in every juicy joke.
  15. What did the judge say to the olive in court? “I’m going to have to throw the book at you…and make it a cookbook.”
  16. What do you call a group of olives playing instruments? A jam-alive.
  17. Why was the olive upset? It had self-esteem issues and felt it wasn’t good enough-za.
  18. How did the olive humiliate the onion? It made it cry by telling it a funny joke.
  19. What’s an olive’s favorite type of music? The Olive-ternative rock genre.
  20. Did you hear about the two olives that got married? The ceremony was a big dill.

QnA Stand-Up: Cracking Puns & Jokes about the Versatile ‘Olive’

  1. Q: What did the olive say when asked about its dating life? A: “I’m a pit shy.”
  2. Q: What do you call an olive that’s always late? A: “An olive oilslow.”
  3. Q: Why did the olive keep looking in the mirror? A: “It couldn’t believe how pitted it was.”
  4. Q: How do you know if an olive is unhappy? A: “It’s extra virgin.”
  5. Q: What did the olive say to the dog? A: “Olive you, woof woof!”
  6. Q: How does an olive get to work? A: “In its oilmobile.”
  7. Q: What did the olive say on its birthday? A: “Olive another year older.”
  8. Q: How does an olive stay in shape? A: “It works out on the straight and narrow.”
  9. Q: Why did the olive go to the doctor? A: “It was feeling a little green.”
  10. Q: What do you call an olive with a sense of humor? A: “Ol-laughs.”
  11. Q: What’s an olive’s favorite kind of joke? A: “Pita full of puns.”
  12. Q: How does an olive cross the road? A: “By using a pitter.”
  13. Q: What did the old olive say to the young olive? A: “Olive you, but stay in your oil-chin.”
  14. Q: How does an olive take a bath? A: “In its oil-tub.”
  15. Q: What’s an olive’s favorite type of music? A: “Olive jazz.”
  16. Q: Why did the olive throw a party? A: “It wanted to olive its friends over.”
  17. Q: What do you call an olive that can’t stop laughing? A: “Olive-roaring.”
  18. Q: How does an olive get to the top of a mountain? A: “It climbs on its oil-boots.”
  19. Q: What did the olive say to its crush? A: “I’m olive you’re my type.”
  20. Q: What’s an olive’s favorite sport? A: “Olive-tics.”

Olive You Laughing: Hilarious Dad Jokes about Olives!

  1. Why was the olive sneezing? Because it had an allerge-bee to pollen.
  2. I tried writing a book about olives, but it didn’t have a good pit line.
  3. Did you hear about the olive who won the marathon? He crossed the finish line in a pit-iful time.
  4. Why did the olive turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  5. What did the olive say when it was asked to leave the party early? I can’t go, I just got here a marin-ate!
  6. How do you make an olive laugh? Tell it a cheesy joke, they love a-gouda laugh.
  7. If an olive is not a fruit or a vegetable, what is it? Olives have pits, so that makes them comedians.
  8. Why did the olive feel sad? It couldn’t find its pit pal.
  9. Did you hear about the olive who wanted to be a pilot? It had high-flying dreams of being an aeroplane.
  10. How do you greet an olive at a party? Ask, “Olive who here?”
  11. Why did the olive take a trip to Greece? It wanted to see where all its relatives were from.
  12. Why was the olive always the last one picked for the softball team? Because it kept getting stuck on the pitcher’s mound.
  13. What did the olive say when it couldn’t find its car keys? “Oh, olive where art thou keys?”
  14. What kind of music do olives like? Anything that’s pit-ifully catchy.
  15. How do you know when an olive is angry? It turns into an olive Kalamata!
  16. What did the olive say when it fell off the plate? “I’m just rolling with it.”
  17. Why was the olive feeling lonely? All its friends were stuffed and taken on antipasto plates.
  18. Why did the olive go to the gym? To work on its olive muscles, of course!
  19. What did the olive say to the martini? “Don’t you dare shake me, I prefer to be stirred.”
  20. Why was the olive feeling worried? It heard a rumor that its partner in crime, the martini, might be shaken up without it.

Olive you laughing with these hilarious quotes!

  1. “Why did the olive want to go to Italy? Because it heard there was a pit-ty party!”
  2. “I asked my friend if he wanted an olive, he said ‘no thanks, I’m trying to save room for the martini’.”
  3. “I tried to suggest an olive branch to my boyfriend, but he thought I was talking about a new skincare product.”
  4. “The bartender gave me a garnish of two olives in my drink and I thought, ‘wow, talk about splitting the pitted’.”
  5. “I can never trust an olive, they’re always so full of themselves.”
  6. “My psychiatrist told me I have an unhealthy obsession with olives. I told him I’ll take that with a grain of salt.”
  7. “If olive trees could talk, they would probably say ‘olive being here’.”
  8. “I asked my date if he preferred green or black olives. He said he didn’t discriminate and loved all kinds of olives. That’s when I knew he was a keeper.”
  9. “My friend asked me to help him look for a missing olive. I told him to maybe check the olive garden.”
  10. “Why did the olive go to therapy? It had a serious case of low self-esteem.”
  11. “I’m not saying I’m addicted to olives, but give me a jar and I’ll show you a happy ending.”
  12. “Someone said I was their ‘olive’ in a bottle, I said ‘thanks, but I prefer to be marinated in a jar’.”
  13. “You know you’re getting old when you start adding extra olives to your pizza instead of taking them off.”
  14. “I don’t always eat olives, but when I do, I prefer them stuffed with blue cheese.”
  15. “Why did the olive go to the gym? To work on its oil-ments.”
  16. “My therapist told me to incorporate more greens into my diet, so I switched from M&Ms to olives.”
  17. “I think I’m starting to understand why they call it ‘olive oil’ and not ‘olive water’.”
  18. “I never understood why people say ‘hold your horses’, when they could be saying ‘hold your olives’.”
  19. “I told my friend ‘you’re the apple of my eye’, but then I realized I prefer ripe olives.”
  20. “Some people say money doesn’t grow on trees, but have you seen the price of fancy olives?”

Olive Laugh at These Hilariously Wise Proverbs

  1. “You can lead an ‘olive’ to water, but you can’t make it drink…unless it’s in a martini.”
  2. “An ‘olive’ a day keeps the doctor away…unless it’s stuffed with blue cheese.”
  3. “Out of the frying pan and into the ‘olive’ jar.”
  4. “A rolling ‘olive’ gathers no moss, but it does make a mean tapenade.”
  5. “A watched ‘olive’ never boils…but it does make a great garnish.”
  6. “You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few ‘olives’.”
  7. “An ‘olive’ in the hand is worth two on your pizza.”
  8. “When life gives you ‘olives’, make dirty martinis.”
  9. “Birds of a feather flock together, but ‘olives’ make a great snack.”
  10. “A penny saved is an ‘olive’ earned.”
  11. “Actions speak louder than words, but a good ‘olive’ platter speaks volumes.”
  12. “A stitch in time saves nine, but a splash of ‘olive’ oil saves any dish.”
  13. “The early bird gets the worm, but the late bird gets the leftover ‘olives’.”
  14. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again…with a side of seasoned ‘olives’.”
  15. “It’s always darkest before the dawn…but dawn also means it’s time for an ‘olive’ breakfast.”
  16. “You can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can judge a restaurant by its ‘olive’ selection.”
  17. “A little ‘olive’ oil goes a long way…especially when it comes to stains.”
  18. “A problem shared is a problem halved…unless you’re fighting over the last ‘olive’.”
  19. “Rome wasn’t built in a day, but a mean ‘olive’ bruschetta can be whipped up in minutes.”
  20. “When the going gets tough, the tough get ‘olives’.”

Tickle Your Funny Bone with These ‘Olive’ Double Entendres Puns

  1. “I can’t believe you brought an ‘olive’ to a gunfight.”
  2. “She’s been ‘olive’ branch to me for years.”
  3. “We’re in a pickle, but at least there are ‘olive’ options.”
  4. “I couldn’t stop staring at the ‘olive’ in her martini.”
  5. “I’m gonna put an end to this ‘olive’ feud once and for all.”
  6. “I can’t ‘olive’ without you by my side.”
  7. “Why did the ‘olive’ break up with his girlfriend? She was too ‘pitted’.”
  8. “I’m on an ‘olive’ juice cleanse.”
  9. “She’s the ‘olive’ my eye, but I’m not sure she’s into me.”
  10. “I always have a ‘jar’ of ‘olive’ puns ready to go.”
  11. “I’m gonna ‘squeeze’ every last drop out of this ‘olive’ tree.”
  12. “She was so upset when she found out her boyfriend was ‘brining’ home another girl.”
  13. “I was ‘tossed’ into this crazy ‘olive’ world, but I’m loving it.”
  14. “I never thought I’d ‘olive’ to see the day.”
  15. “I’m gonna make a ‘pit’ stop before we head out for ‘olive’ garden.”
  16. “I’m not just any ‘olive’, I’m the ‘ultimate’ one.”
  17. “I’m no ‘chef’, but I know how to make one mean stuffed ‘olive’.”
  18. “Can you pass me the ‘olive’ oil? I need to grease the wheels.”
  19. “I may be in a ‘pickle’, but I’ll always have my trusty ‘olive’ branch.”
  20. “I always ‘knead’ some ‘olive’ oil in my dough for the perfect pizza.”

Olive to tell you some Recursive Puns about ‘O-live’!

  1. Why did the olive go to therapy? Because it couldn’t be pitted.
  2. I tried to make a joke about olives, but it just turned into a pitiful mess.
  3. Did you hear about the olive who went skydiving? It was a real seed change.
  4. The council decided to plant more olive trees on the mountain, but it ended up being an olive-branch cycle.
  5. What do you call an olive that’s afraid of heights? A falling fruit-loop.
  6. The olive hunter was going to quit, but then he got a pitful of encouragement.
  7. I’m not saying I love olives, but I definitely have a soft spot for them. In my heart, there’s an olive-shaped hole.
  8. Why did the olive go to art school? To learn how to oil the canvas.
  9. The olive was having a bad day, but then it decided to turn things around and pitted itself against the world.
  10. Olive you back! Olive you infinity! Olive you a little Kahlo! (Olive-based pick-up lines)
  11. Did you hear about the olive that was a secret agent? It was a classified olive operation.
  12. What do you get when you cross an olive with a potato? A small veggie trying to make it big in the spud world.
  13. The olive was feeling lonely, so it asked its date, “Olive you alone?”.
  14. I was planning on buying an olive grove, but then I realized it was a little too pricey for me. It was a hard decision, but I olive with no regrets.
  15. What do you call an olive that loves to dance? An oliverine!
  16. Why did the firefighter save the olive from the burning building? Because he was an expert at extinguishing olive fires.
  17. The olive wanted to join the choir, but it kept getting pitted against other singers.
  18. I always feel like an olive in a cocktail – surrounded by a bunch of drunk fruits.
  19. The olive couldn’t stand being in the spotlight, so it decided to pull an exit olive.
  20. I don’t trust olives that tell jokes. They always seem to be pitting around.

Olive me, that pun was quite a Tom Swiftie!” Olive Tom Swifties

  1. “I can’t believe I ate all these olives,” said Tom desolively.
  2. “These olives are quite pitful,” said Tom wistfully.
  3. “I never want to see another olive again,” said Tom pitifully.
  4. “Olive you forever,” said Tom lovingly.
  5. “I’ll do anything for a jar of olives,” said Tom a-greasily.
  6. “There’s no room on this pizza for more olives,” said Tom confusedly.
  7. “I never knew there were so many types of olives,” said Tom diversely.
  8. “I could eat olives all day,” said Tom hungrily.
  9. “My love for olives knows no bounds,” said Tom unapologetically.
  10. “I’m feeling rather olive-drunk,” said Tom sloppily.
  11. “I’d rather have an olive than a dollar,” said Tom greedily.
  12. “These olives are my kryptonite,” said Tom weakly.
  13. “I’d give my left arm for a bowl of olives,” said Tom lackadaisically.
  14. “I’ll have an olive-tini, please,” said Tom spiritedly.
  15. “I can’t wait to pucker up for this olive,” said Tom puckishly.
  16. “Olive me tender, olive me true,” said Tom crooningly.
  17. “I like my olives like I like my jokes- pitted,” said Tom dryly.
  18. “I’ll have an olive with every meal, thank you,” said Tom steadfastly.
  19. “An olive a day keeps the doctor away,” said Tom healthily.
  20. “I’ll take every single olive on this platter,” said Tom irresistibly.

Olive you glad I have a knock-knock joke?

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive Ole!
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you so much!
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you and I always will.
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you like a pickle loves a burger.
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you dearly, my dear.
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you alone, I’ll never be.
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you are the one for me.
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive all of your jokes!
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive your smile, it’s contagious!
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you more than words can say.
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive your sense of humor!
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you to the moon and back.
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you like a fat kid loves cake.
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you may not be perfect, but you’re perfect for me.
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you and me together forever.
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you more than bacon!
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you so much, my heart aches!
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you with all my jokes.
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you and I always will, forever and ever.
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you and all your silliness!

Olive’ Be Kidding Me: Hilarious Malapropisms Involving Olives

  1. “I can’t wait to read my favorite novella by Shakespeare Olive!”
  2. “I’ve been on a strict diet of salad, olive oil and exercise.”
  3. “I accidentally gave my dog a chocolate Olive.”
  4. “I’ll have a glass of chardonn-olive with dinner.”
  5. “Let me just pull up Google Olive to search for that recipe.”
  6. “My mom is a real helicopter Olive.”
  7. “I’m so grateful for the Olive branch extended by my boss after I made a mistake.”
  8. “Please excuse my tardiness, I got stuck in an olive jam.”
  9. “I used to be a vegetarian, but now I’m a meateatolive.”
  10. “I can’t believe I just got scolded by the principal for using too much olive discipline.”
  11. “I have a date with an olive tonight, I hope it doesn’t turn out to be a dud.”
  12. “My boss always pays us in overtime, he’s such an olive tree.”
  13. “I accidentally added a cup of salt instead of sugar to my baking, olive me!”
  14. “I think I lost my dog, have you seen him? His name is Olive Twist.”
  15. “My neighbor has a real green thumb, they can make anything olive.”
  16. “Every morning I start my day with a cup of black olive coffee.”
  17. “I think my car has a flat olive, I better go get it checked out.”
  18. “I can’t wait to try the new flavor of Ben and Jerry’s, Olive-archie.”
  19. “My dance partner has two left feet, she’s such an olivofortunate person.”
  20. “I’m going on a pilgrimage to visit the famous Olive Garden in Italy.”

Savoring Some Silly Spoonerisms about Olive

  1. “Lily O’Vee” instead of “Olive Oil”
  2. “Groove O’Well” instead of “Olive Grove”
  3. “Nacho O’Chive” instead of “Olive Tree”
  4. “Shiver O’Mints” instead of “Olive Branches”
  5. “Pickle O’Sweat” instead of “Olive Pit”
  6. “Boogie O’Pine” instead of “Olive Wood”
  7. “Fiddle O’Fish” instead of “Olive Paste”
  8. “Balloon O’Tom” instead of “Olive Salad”
  9. “Moon O’Grove” instead of “Olive Orchard”
  10. “Cuddle O’Hove” instead of “Olive Harvest”
  11. “Honey O’Clover” instead of “Olive Leaf”
  12. “Funky O’Cheese” instead of “Olive Spread”
  13. “Bumble O’Geeze” instead of “Olive Garden”
  14. “Whiskey O’Shoes” instead of “Olive Pit Remover”
  15. “Snicker O’Smooch” instead of “Olive Oil Extractor”
  16. “Crunch O’Munch” instead of “Olive Tapenade”
  17. “Taco O’Bell” instead of “Stuffed Olives”
  18. “Wiggle O’Choke” instead of “Olive Pitter”
  19. “Fluffy O’Olly” instead of “Olive Press”
  20. “Cherry O’Cream” instead of “Olive Dip”

Olive you laughing at these puns!

We hope these hilarious Olive puns have added some flavor to your day! Don’t forget to kalamata-back for more punny content and spread the laughter by sharing these olive-themed jokes with your friends. And if you’re feeling the need for more pun-ishment, check out our other related posts for a bountiful harvest of laughter. Olive you all!

Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com

PunnyFunny Team

I'm Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com, where I and my team share the best puns and jokes with the world. My passion for original humor drives me to create content that keeps everyone smiling. As a dedicated humorist, I've made PunnyFunny.com a haven for those who love a good laugh, just like me. Explore my Best Puns & Jokes collection.

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