115+ Pencil Jokes & Puns: Have a Ballpoint!

Get ready to sharpen your funny bone because you’re about to dive into the best list of pencil puns and humor this side of the lead mine! This collection of clever jokes and positive vibes is sure to put a smile on your face, even if your sense of humor is as dull as a broken crayon. Did you know it takes about 20 trees to make a billion pencils? Well, get ready to save the planet one laugh at a time! 😜

Top Pencil Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Sharpen Your Humor

Never date a pencil, they’re always lead on.
What’s a pencil’s favorite genre? Graphite novels.
Pencils are cool – they’ve got degrees.
Life without pencils? Pointless.
Feeling stressed? Draw yourself a bath and write it off.
I won’t use that dull pencil, it’s pointless.
That pencil broke the No. 2 rule.
What did the pencil say before it was sharpened? I’m so blunt.
My pencil broke in half. It’s okay, I have a spare.
Pencil broke during an exam? That’s my lead.
Pencils with good erasers never seem to regret anything.
A sharp pencil and a creative mind? Now that’s what I call a point well made.
Always use a pencil for important forms. That way, there’s no ‘eraser’ mistakes.
Pencil dating app tagline? “Looking to get ‘lead’ out.”
Pencils are always in trouble — they love getting into ‘pointless’ arguments.
Never borrow someone’s pencil, it’s shady.

Funny Pencil Jokes With One Liner Clever Pencil Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny Pencil One-Liner Jokes To Draw Out Some Laughs

What did the pencil say to the paper after a long day? “Whew, I’m completely drawn out!”
Why did the art teacher break up with the pencil? Because they felt like their relationship had no point!
Life is like a pencil: it’s pointless without a purpose, and even then, it will eventually get shorter.
Why are pencils always getting lost? Because they’re always disappearing!
Met a pencil today that was a real downer. Turned out it was just feeling a little lead-footed.
Did you hear about the pencil sharpener who went on a diet? It lost its appetite.
I used to hate writing with a pencil, but then I turned things around.
My therapist told me to express my anger constructively, so I started snapping pencils in half. Now I have a very pointy problem.
Why did the pencil get detention? For doodling during class!
I’m writing a novel with a pencil, it’s taking a really long time… lots of lead-up to the main event.
Bought a talking pencil today. It said “Write” on the box. Technically, it wasn’t wrong.
I’m starting to think my pencil sharpener is judging me. It keeps giving me the evil eye.
What’s a pencil’s favorite genre of music? Anything METAL!
My friend said he could communicate with his pencil through telepathy. Seems a little far-fetched to me.
Always borrow pencils from pessimists. They’re guaranteed to have no point.

QnA Jokes & Puns about Pencil: Sharpen Your Wit

Q: Why did the pencil get a promotion at the bank? A: Because it was always outstanding in its field!
Q: What do you call a pencil that can see the future? A: A lead psychic!
Q: Why was the pencil always invited to parties? A: Because it was the life of the party… or at least, the lead role!
Q: What’s a pencil’s favorite genre of music? A: Anything metal!
Q: Why did the pencil fail its driving test? A: It couldn’t stay in the lines!
Q: Did you hear about the pencil that went to art school? A: It’s a real sketch artist now!
Q: How does a pencil get ready for a date? A: It makes sure it’s looking sharp!
Q: What’s a pencil’s favorite dance move? A: The Pencil-vania Polka!
Q: I saw a pencil using two erasers at once. What a show off! A: Yeah, he thought he was twice the pencil the rest of us were!
Q: Why don’t pencils ever get lonely? A: They’ve got hundreds of friends in the pencil case!
Q: My pencil keeps telling me to write a travel blog. A: It just wants to live vicariously through you!
Q: What did the pencil say to the paper after a fight? A: Look, I’m sorry I rubbed you the wrong way!
Q: What happens when a pencil goes to jail? A: It gets written off!
Q: Did you hear about the detective who only used pencils? A: He knew how to draw his own conclusions!
Q: My pencil just won an award for bravery! A: Wow, what a lead-er!
Q: I’m trying to write a story about a magical pencil, but I’m stumped. A: Don’t worry, I’m sure the idea will come to you in a flash!

Dad Jokes about Pencil: They’re Pointless!

Heard about the pencil that won an award? It was a real graphite effort!
Why did the pencil get detention? It was always getting lead astray.
What’s a pencil’s favorite genre? Anything they can get lead into.
I saw a robbery in a pencil factory yesterday. The thieves made off with the lead!
Why are pencils always so organized? Because they know how to stay in line.
What’s a pencil’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat and a lead singer.
Why did the pencil cross the road? To get to the other side…of the paper!
I’m friends with all the pencils at school. They’re always up for some light sketching.
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to pencil school. Now it’s a web designer.
Why did the pencil fail its exam? It couldn’t see the point.
Where do pencils go on vacation? Pencil-vania!
I used to hate writing with pencils, but then I turned things around.
What did the pencil say to the paper? I’m falling for you… literally.
I saw a mechanical pencil today that was out of lead. That’s just wrong on so many levels.
My son asked for a talking pencil for his birthday. I told him to use his words.
Don’t tell secrets in a pencil factory. There’s always someone lead-ing in on the conversation.

Funny Quotes and Captions about Pencil That Are Sharp

“I’m not saying I have a pencil obsession, but I do name my favorites. Meet Point Dexter, Sharpie, and the always reliable, Number 2.”
“My therapist told me to express my anger in healthy ways. Apparently, sharpening 20 pencils to scary points isn’t what she meant.”
“What do you call a pencil that can see the future? 2B Determined.”
“Life is like a pencil: it’s pointless without a purpose, and sometimes, you just need a good eraser.”
“I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure. Luckily, I have my trusty pencil and eraser to help me make up my mind.”
“You know you’re an adult when ‘borrowing’ a pencil from the bank feels like a major victory.”
“That awkward moment when your pencil breaks, but you’re too attached to use another one. We’ve all been there, little buddy.”
“Roses are red, Violets are blue, I found your pencil, Now it’s mine too! (Just kidding… maybe).
“The struggle of finding a pencil in your bag is real. It’s like a black hole in there, but for writing utensils.”
“Behind every great writer is a pencil that’s been chewed on, sharpened to oblivion, and lost at least twice.”
“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy pencils. And that’s kind of the same thing, right?”
“Sleeping Beauty, Sleeping Giant… I think all these fairy tales are really about my pencil during math class.”
“My superpower? I can smell a freshly sharpened pencil from a mile away. What can I say, I’m drawn to them.”
“My therapist says I need to let go of the things I can’t control. Guess it’s time to say goodbye to ever finding a matching pencil and eraser.”
“Pencils: Proof that even the smallest things can leave a lasting mark. Unless you’re using one on a touchscreen, then it just leaves smudges.”
“Feeling stressed? Take a deep breath and sharpen a pencil. There’s something oddly satisfying about that perfect point.”
“Pencils: The original sustainable writing tool. You use it till it’s gone, then plant it and grow a whole new one. Okay, maybe not, but it sounded good!”

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Pencil: With Lead-ing Lines You’ll Love

A sharpened pencil is worth two in the bush. (Because who wants to go searching for a sharpener when inspiration strikes?)
The pen is mightier than the sword, but the pencil can always be erased. (Diplomacy over violence, always with an option to start over.)
Early to bed and early to rise makes a pencil… well rested? (Hey, even writing implements need their beauty sleep.)
Don’t cry over spilled ink when you’ve got a pencil and a good eraser. (There’s always a solution, even if it takes a little rubbing.)
Give a man a pencil, and he’ll doodle for a day. Teach a man to doodle, and he’ll avoid work for a lifetime. (The double-edged sword of unleashing artistic expression.)
You can’t lead a pencil to water, but you can lead it to a notepad. (Inspiration strikes in mysterious, stationery-filled places.)
The squeaky pencil gets the lead. (Sometimes, being a little “extra” gets you noticed.)
Never judge a pencil by its color, but by the doodles it creates. (It’s the art that matters, not the tool.)
A pencil in the hand is worth two in the pencil case. (Seize the moment and get those ideas flowing!)
Don’t count your pencils before they’re sharpened. (Planning is good, but be prepared for unexpected breaks along the way.)
Two pencils are better than one, unless you’re trying to share a sharpener. (Collaboration is amazing, except when it comes to limited resources.)
You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few pencil leads. (Sometimes creativity requires a little sacrifice…and maybe a lead dispenser refill.)
A dull pencil is like a mind without inspiration: pointless. (Stay sharp, stay creative!)
A rolling pencil gathers no moss, but it might just roll into the perfect doodle. (Embrace the unexpected journeys of life… and your stationery.)
All’s well that ends well, especially when you’ve got a pencil to edit the ending. (Life is a rough draft, always open for revisions.)
Life is like a pencil: it’s what you make of it, and eventually, it needs sharpening. (Embrace the journey, the challenges, and the opportunities to refine yourself.)

Pencil Double Entendres Puns: Sharpen Your Wits

“I’m not sure what’s longer, my pencil or this history lecture.” (Implies boredom and potentially a large pencil)
“She told me to bring a pencil to the drawing class, but I think she had something else in mind.” (Implies a suggestive misinterpretation)
“Dating a writer is complicated, you never know if their pencil is really just for writing.” (Plays on the phrase “pencilling someone in”)
“That magician was so skilled, he could make a pencil disappear… into thin hair!” (A pun on ‘thin air’ and a receding hairline)
“This pencil is pointless… literally, I just noticed it’s missing the lead!” (Plays on ‘pointless’ as both dull and without a physical point)
“My love life is like a pencil – constantly being sharpened but always ending up short.” (References heartbreak and the pencil getting shorter with use)
“I wanted to write a love letter in cursive, but my pencil prefers to keep things casual.” (Plays on the informality of non-cursive writing)
“Don’t tell anyone, but I think my pencil has a crush on my sharpener.” (A humorous take on the relationship between pencil and sharpener)
“Life is like a pencil: you have to be strong in the lead, but flexible enough to bend.” (A play on the phrase “take the lead” and the pencil’s ability to bend slightly)
“He’s such a pencil pusher, he thinks the most dangerous thing in the world is a broken point.” (Implies someone is overly bureaucratic and risk-averse)
“He’s got a real pencil neck – always sticking his nose into other people’s business.” (A playful insult about someone nosy)
“I told him to draw me like one of his French pencils, but he just gave me a strange look.” (A twist on the “French girls” trope and drawing pencils)
“My bank account is looking pretty thin these days. I guess you could say it’s as sharp as a pencil.” (A humorous comment on being low on funds)
“The artist said he needed a specific type of pencil to capture my beauty. I didn’t know ‘2B or not 2B’ was such a serious question.” (A Shakespearean play on words and pencil grades)
“She’s as sharp as a pencil… which is funny, because she can’t seem to draw a straight line to save her life.” (An ironic observation about someone clever but lacking practical skills)
“The detective surveyed the crime scene. ‘A single pencil,’ he muttered. ‘Clearly, we’re dealing with a mastermind.’ (Highlights the irony of a seemingly insignificant object in a serious situation)
“Don’t be afraid to make mistakes,” the art teacher said. “That’s what erasers are for. But use your pencil first, or you’ll just be rubbing your hands together all day.” (Witty advice that emphasizes the importance of taking action)

Funny Pencil Tom Swifties: Sharpen Your Wit

“This pencil needs sharpening,” Tom said bluntly.
“I love using a pencil for math problems,” Tom figured.
“The eraser on this pencil is worn down!” Tom stated absentmindedly.
“I prefer mechanical pencils,” Tom stated automatically.
“My pencil broke right before the test!” Tom exclaimed brokenheartedly.
“This pencil sketch is a masterpiece!” Tom drew on.
“I left my pencil in the sharpener too long,” Tom said sharply.
“This pencil lead keeps snapping,” Tom snapped.
“I think I need a new pencil,” Tom remarked pointedly.
“This pencil drawing is coming out great,” Tom shaded.
“I can’t believe I forgot my pencil case,” Tom said case-lessly.
“Using a dull pencil is so frustrating,” Tom said dully.
“I aced the test thanks to my trusty pencil!” Tom marked.
“This pencil drawing needs more depth,” Tom said deeply.
“I love the smell of freshly sharpened pencils,” Tom scented.
“This pencil is perfect for writing my novel,” Tom said novelly.
“I accidentally wrote my grocery list in permanent marker instead of pencil,” Tom said permanently.

Knock-knock Jokes about Pencil: They’re Sharply Funny

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who? Pencil-vania, a state where everyone’s lead writer!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who? Pencil me in for a good laugh!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who? Pencil see you later, alligator!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who? Pencil-ling you a note to say you’re awesome!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who? Pencil need a hand, I’m stuck in this box!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who? Pencil be quiet, I’m trying to concentrate!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who? Pencil told me to say hi!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who? Pencil-brate good times, come on!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who? Pencil get lonely sometimes, you know.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who? Pencil lend you an eraser, that was a bad one!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who? Pencil like to draw, how about you?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who? Pencil we meet again!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who? Pencil working on my masterpiece!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who? Pencil just wanted to say you’re looking sharp!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pencil. Pencil who? Pencil be back, I need to find a sharpener!