230+ Pharm-azing Jokes & Puns: A Prescription for Laughter

funny Pharmacy jokes with one liner clever Pharmacy puns at PunnyFunny.com

Welcome, fellow jokesters and pun lovers! Are you in need of a good laugh? Well, I’ve got just the prescription for you! Get ready to stock up on laughter and add these pharmacy jokes to your list of favorite puns. Trust me, they’re just what the doctor ordered! From clever quips to silly scenarios, these jokes are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and leave you feeling positively entertained. So gather the kids around and get ready for a dose of humor that’ll have you rolling in the aisles. Without further ado, let’s dive into the best, most hilarious puns about pharmacy you’ll ever find!

Rx Yourself a Dose of Laughter with our Pharmacy Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

  1. Why did the pharmacist refuse to sell painkillers to the actor? Because he was afraid he would become addicted to the stage!
  2. What do you call a pharmacist who is always losing their prescriptions? Forget-a-pill!
  3. What do you get when you mix a pharmacist and a magician? A drugstore illusionist!
  4. Why did the pharmacist stop stocking birth control pills? Because they were always being returned with complaints that they didn’t work – they just made babies!
  5. How do pharmacists organize their shelves? Alphabetically – they’re big fans of Rx and order.
  6. What did the patient say when the pharmacist asked if she needed help? “No thanks, I’m just browsing – I’m addicted to window shopping!”
  7. What did the pharmacist say to the customer who was dropping off a prescription for Viagra? “Looks like you’ll be filling something up other than your tank today!”
  8. Why did the pharmacist switch careers and become a stand-up comedian? Because he was tired of people giving him a hard time and needed a laugh!
  9. Why did the pharmacist have to return the erection pills to the manufacturer? Because they were accidentally packaged with headache pills and caused lots of headaches instead of erections!
  10. What did the pharmacist say to the robber who demanded all the painkillers in the store? “Hey buddy, no need to be so aspirin – just take what you need and go!”
  11. Why did the pharmacist go bankrupt? He gave away too many free samples!
  12. What did the doctor say when the pharmacist asked about prescribing a new drug? “I don’t know, let’s just roll the dice and see what happens!”
  13. Why did the pharmacist’s wife get upset when he brought home a bag of powdered sugar? Because he told her it was the newest weight-loss supplement he was selling!
  14. How do pharmacists stay organized? They use a Mortar and Pestle System!
  15. Why did the pharmacist’s store have a huge sale on all its medications? Because he was getting sick of paying the high price for pills himself!
  16. What do you call a group of pharmacists? A prescription party!
  17. Why did the pharmacist switch to selling natural remedies instead of medications? Because he wanted to focus on more holistic healing and make some herbal tea-mendous!
  18. What did the pharmacist say when the patient asked for an antibiotic? “Sorry, we’re fresh out – must be the work of those dreaded antibiotic-resistant bacteria!”
  19. Why did the pharmacist start offering home delivery for all medications? Because he wanted to make sure his customers never had to face too much traffic on the road to recovery!
  20. What did the pharmacist say when the customer asked why his medication was so expensive? “Well, it’s either that or bleed you dry!”

Prescription for Laughter: Hilarious One-Liners for Your Funny Pharmacy Fix!

  1. Why did the pill go to school? Because it wanted to be a medicine.
  2. Did you hear about the pharmacy that was robbed? The thief took all the cough syrup, but left the aspirin. Police describe him as a hardened criminal.
  3. Why did the pharmacist refuse to sell medication to the cow? Because it had a farm-assist case.
  4. I can’t believe they’re making a documentary about the history of medicine. It’s just going to be a bunch of old pills.
  5. How many pharmacists does it take to fill a prescription? Just won.
  6. Why was the pharmacist tired? Because he was dispensing sleep aid all day.
  7. What do you call a pile of Viagra tablets? Hard evidence.
  8. I accidentally took two laxatives instead of my allergy medication. I’m not sure if I feel better or worse.
  9. What do you call a pharmacy run by rabbits? A hare-macy.
  10. Why did the man return his medication? Because it didn’t get him high, it only made him feel average.
  11. What do you call a pharmacy that only sells aspirin? A headache.
  12. Why did the chicken go to the pharmacy? To get some “lay-teral” therapy.
  13. I asked the pharmacist if they had anything for a broken heart. She handed me a bottle of glue and said, “There’s no prescription for love.”
  14. What did the pharmacist say to the old lady who wanted to buy sleeping pills without a prescription? “I’m sorry, but you can’t buy sleep, it’s a controlled substance.”
  15. Did you hear about the pharmacist who got arrested for selling black market painkillers? He was charged with prescription trafficking.
  16. Why did the pharmacist hide their medication? Because they didn’t want it to get into the wrong hands.
  17. What did the pharmacist say to the man who only wanted to buy half a pack of gum? “That’s not how we operate, sir. One pack or nothing.”
  18. Why did the doctor write a prescription on his hand? He didn’t have any paper, but he had plenty of “hand writing.”
  19. How do you make a horse take their medication? Put it in their neigh-bag.
  20. Why was the pharmacy owner fired? Because they kept giving out pills as bonuses instead of raises.

Dispensing Laughter: QnA Jokes & Puns about Pharmacy

  1. What do you call a pharmacy that’s out of Viagra? A hard pill to swallow.
  2. Why was the pharmacist so good at math? He was always counting pills.
  3. How do you know when a pharmacy is a success? When it has a lot of happy customers.
  4. Why did the pharmacist turn down the new job offer? He didn’t want to dispense with his current coworkers.
  5. Why did the pharmacist refuse to sell Viagra to the old man? He didn’t want to be responsible for a heart attack.
  6. How do you know when a pharmacy is closed? When the sign says, “We’re out of prescriptions.”
  7. Why did the doctor write a prescription for hummingbirds? He wanted to give his patients a little tweetment.
  8. What did the pharmacy say when the customer asked for a bulk order of Band-Aids? “Sorry, we only sell wholesale goods.”
  9. Why did the customer ask for a refund on his stool softener? He said it didn’t do anything… except make his stool softer.
  10. How do you know if a pharmacy is run by cats? It’s a purrrrr-fectly organized chaos.
  11. Why did the pharmacist start wearing glasses? He couldn’t figure out the dosages, so he needed an i-sight.
  12. How do you know if a pharmacy is haunted? There’s always something spelling off on the shelves.
  13. Why did the pharmacist recommend a suppository to the customer? He said it was a pain in the butt, but it worked.
  14. How do you know if a pharmacy is owned by a pirate? The shelf labels all say “ARRRRR-thritis medication.”
  15. Why did the pharmacist refuse to sell bread in the store? He said it wasn’t within his loaf.
  16. How do you know if a pharmacy is located in the jungle? The shelves are always overgrowing with prescriptions.
  17. Why did the customer ask for a specific brand of cough syrup? His wife said it was the only way to keep their relationship syruprous.
  18. How do you know if a pharmacy is located on Mars? The prices are out of this world.
  19. Why did the pharmacist refuse to sell laxatives to a clown? He didn’t want to be responsible for making him a butt of jokes.
  20. How do you know if a pharmacy is owned by a dentist? It’s always promoting the benefits of smiling.

Dispensing Laughter: Dad Jokes about Pharmacy

  1. Why did the pharmacist go to jail? He took too many prescription pills!
  2. My wife told me to stop singing “I’m All Out of Love” in the pharmacy. I just can’t help it, I’m a drugist!
  3. Why did the skeleton go to the pharmacy? He needed some bone-afide medicine!
  4. How does a pharmacist organize his shelves? He keeps them in alphabetical codeine order.
  5. Did you hear about the pharmacist who robbed a bank? He made off with all the cash and tablets!
  6. Why was the pharmacist always on edge? He had a lot of worries, but no Valium.
  7. My pharmacist friend doesn’t believe in labels. He’s a non-prescriptionist.
  8. I wanted to make a joke about sodium, but Na.
  9. Why did the pharmacist have to go to court? He was accused of dealing in-networks.
  10. Did you hear about the new pharmacy that opened next to the cemetery? They specialize in coffin drops.
  11. How did the pharmacist describe his job? It has its ups and doses.
  12. They say laughter is the best medicine, but I think actual medicine works pretty well too.
  13. Why was the pharmacist’s job so easy? He had a lot of pills to fall back on.
  14. I asked the pharmacist for a recommendation for a stuffy nose, but he just told me to pick my nose.
  15. Why couldn’t the sick man find relief at the pharmacy? They were all out of patients.
  16. My dad always advised me to never argue with a pharmacist. They have too many strong points.
  17. What do you call an unhappy pharmacist? A pill grump.
  18. Why did the pharmacist switch jobs to become a postman? He couldn’t handle all the deliveries at once.
  19. My friend asked me if I wanted to play a game of Camel Up at the pharmacy. I said no, I don’t play drugs.
  20. Why was the pharmacist’s haircut always on point? He used a lot of layers.

Hilarious Pharmacy: Laughter is the Best Medicine!

  1. “A trip to the pharmacy is like a box of chocolates, you never know what side effects you’re gonna get.”
  2. “They say laughter is the best medicine, but if you laugh too much at the pharmacy, they might think your prescription needs adjusting.”
  3. “The only place where ‘getting high’ means picking up your medication from the top shelf.”
  4. “I never trust a pharmacy that doesn’t have a ‘candy for 25 cents’ machine at the counter.”
  5. “Pharmacists are like modern-day alchemists, turning pills into potions.”
  6. “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a pharmacist, asking for cheaper medication.”
  7. “A pharmacy is just a drug dealer’s version of a candy store.”
  8. “If I had a dollar for every time the pharmacy’s automated voice said ‘Your call is important to us’…I could afford my medication without insurance.”
  9. “Behind every great pharmacist is an even greater stockroom of expired medication.”
  10. “They say the customer is always right, but the pharmacist knows they’re just self-diagnosing from WebMD.”
  11. “My love for online shopping collided with my need for medication, and now I have a subscription to the Dollar Shave Club.”
  12. “Don’t worry about the side effects, just think of them as bonus symptoms.”
  13. “When the pharmacy says your medication has been discontinued, but your allergies have not.”
  14. “I trust my pharmacist more than I trust my doctor…must be something about that thick stack of diplomas on the wall.”
  15. “Why do they call it a prescription when it feels more like extortion for medication?”
  16. “I hear some people count sheep to fall asleep, but I prefer counting the pills in my nightly dosage instead.”
  17. “My local pharmacy has a ‘Sick of feeling sick? Try our expired candy for a change of taste!’ sign…genius marketing or desperate measures?”
  18. “The only day my mom doesn’t nag me about my health is when she’s at the pharmacy picking up her medication.”
  19. “I may be a late bloomer, but I’ve finally found the joys of blister packs and daily pill organizers in my 30s.”
  20. “Why buy a purse full of makeup when you can have one full of medication bottles and actually save lives?”

Dispensing Laughter: Hilarious Pharmacy Proverbs & Wise Sayings

  1. “A pharmacy without customers is like a garden without flowers – empty and useless.”
  2. “A good pharmacist is like a superhero, mixing potions to cure all our ailments.”
  3. “In a world full of pills, be the mortar that holds it all together.”
  4. “A pharmacy is the only place where customers don’t mind getting ripped off.”
  5. “Don’t trust a pharmacist who tells you to ‘take a chill pill’ – they might just be trying to sell you something.”
  6. “A day without a trip to the pharmacy is like a day without sunshine – gloomy and depressing.”
  7. “Behind every successful doctor is a busy pharmacist, doing all the real work.”
  8. “My medicine cabinet is the only place where a drink with alcohol is next to a drink without alcohol.”
  9. “A pharmacy is the only place where you can pay for your illness and feel better about it.”
  10. “The real magic happens behind the pharmacy counter, not in a wizard’s hat.”
  11. “When life gives you lemons, go to the pharmacy and get some medication for your allergies.”
  12. “A pharmacy is like a candy store, but with drugs instead of sweets and a higher price tag.”
  13. “Death, taxes, and running out of refills on your prescription – the three certainties in life.”
  14. “If at first you don’t succeed, try going to a different pharmacy – they might actually have your medication in stock.”
  15. “Behind every over-the-counter medication, there’s a frustrated pharmacist trying to decipher illegible handwriting.”
  16. “A pharmacy is the only place where people pay for drugs and leave happy.”
  17. “A pharmacist’s favorite game: spot the drug seeker.”
  18. “If you want to hear a good joke, go to the pharmacy and ask for the generic version of your medication.”
  19. “A pharmacy is like a library, except instead of books, there are pills, and instead of quiet, there’s the sound of people coughing.”
  20. “The only thing worse than waiting in line at the pharmacy is realizing you forgot your prescription at home.”

Prescription for a Good Laugh: Pharmacy Double Entendres Puns!

  1. “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t carry a prescription for laughter pills.”
  2. “I guess you could say our pharmacy is the prescription for a good time.”
  3. “Our prices are so low, you’ll think we’re handing out happy pills.”
  4. “Can I interest you in some over-the-counter humor?”
  5. “Don’t worry, our pharmacy has a refill of dad jokes available.”
  6. “We may not have a sense of humor in stock, but we have plenty of it on our staff.”
  7. “Why did the patient go to the pharmacy? For a dose of retail therapy.”
  8. “Pardon the self-promotion, but our pharmacy really knows how to pill it off.”
  9. “Our pharmacy sells life-saving medication and knee-slapping jokes…talk about a well-rounded establishment.”
  10. “We’re more than just a pharmacy, we’re a one-stop shop for laughs.”
  11. “Our pharmacy has the cure for both your physical and comedic ailments.”
  12. “What do you call a pharmacy with a great sense of humor? A pharmacy PUN-dit.”
  13. “We may not have a comedy club, but our pharmacy is definitely a laughing stock.”
  14. “Some pharmacies have a drive-thru, but we prefer to drive people to laughter.”
  15. “If laughter is the best medicine, our pharmacy is like a candy store.”
  16. “Why did the pharmacist start telling jokes? He wanted to fill prescriptions and fill bellies with laughter.”
  17. “Come for the medication, stay for the laughs at our pharmacy.”
  18. “Our pharmacy is known for having the best punch lines…and punching out prescriptions.”
  19. “We may not have a bar, but our pharmacy is full of witty lines and good spirits.”
  20. “At our pharmacy, we dispense medication, jokes, and good vibes.”

Prescribing Laughter: Recursive Puns about Pharmacy

  1. Why did the pharmacist keep a ladder in the pharmacy? For all the high prescriptions, of course!
  2. I can never get enough of pharmacy jokes, they’re just so prescribable.
  3. Don’t worry, the pharmacy won’t judge you for needing a refill. It’s their pharma-cy.
  4. I went to the pharmacy to get medication for my amnesia, but I can’t remember what they gave me.
  5. Why was the pharmacist always so successful? He had the right medicine-tality!
  6. They say laughter is the best medicine, but I prefer my pharmacist’s prescriptions.
  7. Did you hear about the pharmacy that started selling hay fever medication? They had quite the pollen in stream.
  8. I asked the pharmacist for something to help me sleep at night. He gave me a pillow filled with drowsy tablets.
  9. Why was the pharmacy awarded for their design? They had great ma-pharm-icists!
  10. The pharmacy always has a long line, but I never mind because it’s the perfect place to pick up some drugstore candy.
  11. I tried to make a joke about a pharmacy, but it was just too much of a pill-sly.
  12. Don’t worry about going to the pharmacy alone, they have plenty of friend-lics on staff.
  13. They say laughter is contagious, but thankfully the pharmacy has plenty of vaccines.
  14. I went to the pharmacy and asked for a cream to get rid of my acne. The pharmacist gave me a gallon of ice cream instead.
  15. I can always count on the pharmacy for a quick fix, they’re so pharma-rapid!
  16. Why did the pharmacist keep his money in the medicine cabinet? For safe drug handling.
  17. My friend asked me why they call it a “pharmacy.” I told them it’s because they’re experts in medication, not farm animals.
  18. I told the pharmacist I needed something for my severe migraines. He gave me some Ibupro-Fine.
  19. They say having a sense of humor is important in life, but it’s even more crucial in the pharmacy industry. You have to have a good pill-ingness to laugh at all the drug-related puns.
  20. Did you hear about the pharmacy that started selling birth control? They were just trying to take care of the contraceptive supply.

Prescription for Laughter: Out of this World Pharmacy Tom Swifties!

  1. “I’ll need a prescription for my headache,” said Tom, medicinally.
  2. “I forgot my medication at home,” Tom remembered.
  3. “I thought this was a pharmacy, not a candy store,” said Tom, incredulously.
  4. “I’m all out of antacids,” said Tom, digestively.
  5. “Do you have anything for a broken heart?” asked Tom, heartbrokenly.
  6. “I’m allergic to penicillin,” said Tom, penicillinely.
  7. “I’ll just take this cough syrup to-go,” said Tom, hoarsely.
  8. “I need something strong for my allergies,” said Tom, breathlessly.
  9. “I can’t afford these expensive prescriptions,” said Tom, cheaply.
  10. “I can’t read this doctor’s handwriting,” said Tom, illegibly.
  11. “I think I have a fever,” said Tom, feverishly.
  12. “My son ate all the vitamins last week,” said Tom, nutritionally.
  13. “I’ll take two of these painkillers,” said Tom, painlessly.
  14. “Do you have anything for chronic procrastination?” asked Tom, lazily.
  15. “I’m feeling a bit woozy,” said Tom, dizzily.
  16. “What’s the best medication for a broken arm?” asked Tom, painfully.
  17. “I seem to have lost my prescription,” said Tom, forgetfully.
  18. “I never knew buying over-the-counter drugs could be so complicated,” said Tom, aspiringly.
  19. “Could I get a discount on these supplements?” asked Tom, thriftily.
  20. “I’ll be back for a refill in two weeks,” said Tom, timely.

Pharmacy puns that are sure to tickle your funny bone

  1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rex. Rex who? Rex-stocked at the pharmacy and needed some medication!
  2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Boo-nic plague is no match for our pharmacy’s antibiotics!
  3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hazel. Hazel who? Hazel-nut can cure your headache, just grab it from the pharmacy shelves!
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stan. Stan who? Stan-ding in line at the pharmacy is a perfect time to practice your stand-up comedy!
  5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Robin. Robin who? Robin the pharmacy blind for some Advil, please.
  6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cashier. Cashier who? Cashier is still king at the pharmacy checkout line.
  7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Doris. Doris who? Doris open the pharmacy or are you too busy laughing at my jokes?
  8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rhonda. Rhonda who? Rhonda the pharmacist is always there to answer your medication questions!
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Liam. Liam who? Liam in the pharmacy bathroom, can you pass me some toilet paper?
  10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hank. Hank who? Hank you for choosing our pharmacy, you’ll be feeling better in no time!
  11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alison. Alison who? Alison at the pharmacy, thank goodness they have what I need!
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Penny. Penny who? Penny wise, pound foolish not to fill your prescriptions at the pharmacy.
  13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Eric. Eric who? Eric-ed out of my mind waiting at the pharmacy, anyone have a time machine?
  14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Violet. Violet who? Violet out of money from all these pharmacy trips, but at least I’ll be healthy!
  15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pete. Pete who? Pete my dog ate my medication, I need a refill from the pharmacy ASAP!
  16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy, that’s the name of the pharmacist!
  17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fred. Fred who? Fred-erick, the cure for all your ailments can be found at the pharmacy.
  18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Katie. Katie who? Katie bring me some tissues, my allergies are acting up again!
  19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Greg. Greg who? Greg-t out of bed and to the pharmacy to get your medication, no excuses!
  20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive the advice the pharmacist gives me, they always know what’s best!

Prescribe a Laugh with these Pharmacy Malapropisms

  1. Medspresso: A strong, concentrated form of medication.
  2. Pill-ates: A type of exercise that involves using pill bottles as weights.
  3. Drugstore Jokes: Medications specifically intended to make you laugh.
  4. Dose of Reality: A medication that helps you face difficult situations.
  5. Prescription: A doctor’s description of your personality.
  6. Side Effect: When your medicine makes you better at math.
  7. Cough-pons: Coupons specifically for buying cough medicine.
  8. Vitamin G: The essential vitamin for good humor.
  9. Pharmacy-tailing: A form of retail therapy, but with medications.
  10. Pharm-acycles: Bicycles for delivering medications to your doorstep.
  11. Therapeas: Peas that are good for your mental health.
  12. Aspiradream: A medication that helps you achieve your dreams.
  13. Flu-shotgun: A powerful weapon against the flu virus.
  14. Ibuprofiver: A medication that makes you feel five times better than usual.
  15. Hap-pill-ness: The blissful state of mind achieved with the help of pills.
  16. Med-sterpiece: One’s masterpiece created while under the influence of medication.
  17. Pill-ightenment: The realization of one’s true self while on medication.
  18. Med-ditate: To meditate while taking medication.
  19. Prescribemanship: The skill of writing accurate and effective prescriptions.
  20. Drugstore Chop: Slang term for a pharmacy that also sells musical instruments.

Pharmaceutical Fun: Spoonerisms About Your Local Pharmacy

  1. “Sharmacy” for “Pharmacy”
  2. “Farm Choicy” for “Pharmacy Form”
  3. “Mixtillations” for “Medications”
  4. “Pain Lilly” for “Lain Pill”
  5. “Sack Knacks” for “Stack Nacks”
  6. “Bottle Lop” for “Lottle Bop”
  7. “Flu Ricks” for “Rue Flix”
  8. “Med Smix” for “Sed Mix”
  9. “Drug Fruzzle” for “Fug Drizzle”
  10. “Cure Gook” for “Pure Cook”
  11. “Presgather” for “Gather Press”
  12. “Rx Kray” for “X Kray”
  13. “Barmacy Fe” for “Pharmacy Bee”
  14. “Pill Botty” for “Bill Potty”
  15. “Cry Mix” for “My Crix”
  16. “Band Aids” for “Aid Bands”
  17. “Pill Sacks” for “Sill Packs”
  18. “Frit Petters” for “Pit Fretters”
  19. “Pill Zoom” for “Zill Poom”
  20. “Cough Hangers” for “Hough Cangers”

Prescription for Laughter: Pharmacy Puns Galore!

Whew, that was quite the pharmacopunia of hilarious jokes and puns! Hope you had a prescription for laughter because we certainly delivered the dosage. But don’t stop here, be sure to peruse other pharmacy-related pun posts and keep those funny bones medicated. Until then, stay punny and remember, laughter is the best medicine (but don’t forget your actual medicine too). Cheers!

Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com

PunnyFunny Team

I'm Jami Ch., the enthusiastic owner and operator of PunnyFunny.com, where I and my team share the best puns and jokes with the world. My passion for original humor drives me to create content that keeps everyone smiling. As a dedicated humorist, I've made PunnyFunny.com a haven for those who love a good laugh, just like me. Explore my Best Puns & Jokes collection.

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