115+ Pregnancy Jokes & Puns: You’re Gonna LOL!

Buckle up, buttercups, because we’re about to embark on a wild ride through the best pregnancy puns and humor the internet has to offer! This isn’t your mama’s list of tired old jokes – we’re diving deep into the most clever and positive pregnancy funnies. Did you know a baby’s lungs develop last in the womb? Kind of makes sense, considering they spend nine months chilling in a luxurious water park. So, get ready for some serious laughs because when it comes to pregnancy, we’re all about embracing the bump… and the punchlines!

Top Pregnancy Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Guaranteed To Deliver Laughter

1. Pregnant? More like Pregna-YES!
2. Bun in the oven? Nah, it’s a whole loaf in there!
3. Pregnancy brain: Deleting files since week 5.
4. Sleeping positions? More like pregnancy contortions.
5. My water broke! Time to make a splash.
6. From “Wine o’clock” to “Whine o’clock” real quick.
7. Pregnancy cravings: Eating pickles and ice cream…separately? Never!
8. My due date is my baby’s “eviction notice”.
9. Pregnancy: Where you wear your lunch if you like it or not.
10. Growing a human: Nature’s toughest workout.
11. First-trimester fatigue is next-level exhaustion.
12. Pregnancy glow? More like “I haven’t slept in months” glow.
13. Pregnancy moods: Swinging faster than a piñata.
14. Sleep? What’s sleep? (Sincerely, every pregnant woman ever)
15. Can’t wait to tell my baby all the embarrassing things I craved.
16. My bladder has officially filed for emancipation.
17. Pregnancy: The only time it’s acceptable to pee yourself in public.

Funny Pregnancy One-Liner Jokes: To Make You Glow With Laughter

1. I wanted to name my baby “After” so I could say I’m “After Labor.”
2. Pregnancy brain is real – I just offered my goldfish some crackers.
3. My wife’s cravings are getting out of hand…I found her in the garden, whispering sweet nothings to a watermelon.
4. Pregnancy is the only time you can get away with saying, “Get this thing out of me!” in public.
5. My wife started practicing telepathy to prepare for motherhood. So far, she’s only mastered the “silent treatment” phase.
6. I asked my pregnant wife what she wanted to eat. She said, “Anything but pickles!”…So naturally, I made her a pickle pizza.
7. My wife insists her pregnancy glow is from within…I think it’s the constant sweating.
8. They say pregnancy is beautiful… they obviously haven’t smelled my morning sickness.
9. Sleeping on your back when you’re nine months pregnant is basically a yoga pose.
10. I’m not saying my wife is hormonal, but I sneezed yesterday and she went into labor.
11. Apparently, “due date” is just a suggestion, not a reservation.
12. My wife said she wanted to be surprised about the baby’s gender… so I covered the nursery in caution tape.
13. Parenthood: where “sleeping in” is a distant memory, and “going to the bathroom alone” is a luxurious vacation.
14. We’re having a home birth. Hopefully, the baby doesn’t mind sharing a room with our dog and a mountain of laundry.
15. Apparently, you’re supposed to eat for two during pregnancy…not devour everything in a five-mile radius.
16. Never tell a pregnant woman she looks like she’s about to pop…unless you’re okay with being popped yourself.
17. My wife says childbirth is the most painful experience… I told her to try sleeping with her pregnant.

QnA Jokes & Puns about Pregnancy: Delivering the Laughs

1. Q: Why did the baby in the womb get a gold medal? A: It excelled at the ultra-sound!
2. Q: What’s the most reliable pregnancy test? A: Asking a woman if she’s gained weight… If she says “yes,” run!
3. Q: What position should the baby be in during the third trimester? A: Ideally, a moving-out position!
4. Q: What do you call a sea creature that’s always pregnant? A: A sea-mom-ster!
5. Q: Why did the pregnant woman sleep like a log? A: She was lumber-jacked!
6. Q: My wife is five months pregnant, but it looks like she’s carrying eight babies. What’s wrong? A: You might want to check your math, buddy.
7. Q: What do you call a baby with a drum kit? A: A pre-cussion!
8. Q: What did the ocean say to the pregnant woman? A: “Nothing, it just waved!”
9. Q: Why don’t they have pregnancy tests for men? A: They’d probably just blame the results on the beer.
10. Q: What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? A: You can unscrew a lightbulb.
11. Q: My wife says she wants to name the baby after her favorite city in Europe. What do you think of the name “Paris”? A: Sounds nice, but have you considered the emotional baggage that comes with a name like “London”?”
12. Q: Why was the baby worried about being born? A: It had severe separation anxiety… from the all-you-can-eat buffet!
13. Q: What’s the benefit of dating a pregnant woman? A: You get to skip right to the part where she eats for two!
14. Q: I put my phone on my wife’s belly last night… A: And you got a weak “bars” signal, right?

Dad Jokes about Pregnancy: Delivering the Laughs

1. Wife said she’s feeling a bit preg-nant today. I told her, “Don’t worry, I’m feeling a bit preg-nasty myself!”
2. Never thought I’d be this invested in someone else’s appetite. Guess you could say I’m financially preg-nant, too.
3. My wife’s cravings are getting out of hand. Last night she woke me up at 3 am asking for pickles and ice cream… I think she’s trying to preg-nounce divorce!
4. They say pregnancy brain is real. But the day I forget this experience is the day I become preg-nesiac!
5. My wife is taking Lamaze classes online. The other day I caught her watching YouTube videos on how to build a crib… I think she’s taking this “preg-paration” thing a little too seriously.
6. I rubbed my wife’s feet last night and felt a sharp kick. The baby must be preg-paring for soccer already!
7. The doctor said this is the happiest time of our lives. I’m just waiting for the day we’re not preg-cariously sleep-deprived.
8. We’re having a gender reveal party next week. I’m hoping for a girl… so I can finally be the preg-nant one in the house!
9. I gained sympathy weight while my wife was pregnant. Now we’re both trying to lose it. It’s a real preg-nancy marathon!
10. Our house is about to get a whole lot noisier. We’re going from preg-nant peace to parental pandemonium!
11. I downloaded a pregnancy app to track everything. The other day it asked me to input my bra size. I think someone needs to check the app’s preg-nancy algorithms!
12. My wife says I need to be more present during the birth. I told her I’d be there through every contraction, every push, every… preg-nificant moment.
13. They say babies are expensive. But let me tell you, preg-nancy cravings are no walk in the park either!
14. Becoming a parent is a life-changing experience. But hey, at least I’ll never have to go through morning sickness. Preg-nancy perks!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Pregnancy: To Make You Pee Yourself Laughing

1. Pregnancy: Proof that you can grow a watermelon-sized human, but can’t remember where you put your phone.
2. Forget “baby brain,” I’ve got “pregnancy Google.” I’m basically a medical student now.
3. My pregnancy cravings are like my toddler’s tantrums – completely irrational and impossible to ignore.
4. Pregnancy is a nine-month endurance test… that rewards you with another nine months (at least!) of sleep deprivation.
5. Yes, I’m eating for two. Me and the tiny dictator currently using my bladder as a bouncy castle.
6. Sleep? What’s sleep? Pretty sure I’m powered by prenatal vitamins and the sheer will to pee again in five minutes.
7. Pregnancy: When your feet swell, your ankles disappear, and you develop an uncanny ability to smell pizza from miles away.
8. They say pregnancy gives you that “glow.” I think mine’s more of a “sweating profusely while eating pickles and ice cream” kind of radiance.
9. Dear Husband, For every weird craving I have, remember: You’re the one who put it there. Love, Your Hormonal Queen.
10. Pregnancy: Where fashion choices range from “stylish maternity wear” to “my husband’s largest t-shirt.”
11. Never underestimate the power of a pregnant woman on a mission – especially when the mission involves finding the perfect pickle.
12. I love my baby bump. It’s like a built-in snack shelf for when I get hungry… which is always.
13. Pregnancy: Because growing a human inside you isn’t impressive enough, you also get super-strength hair and nails!
14. My pre-pregnancy body: a temple. My pregnant body: a bouncy house filled with cravings and questionable dance moves.
15. Pregnancy is just a glamorous way of saying you’re a walking incubator with a side of heartburn.
16. Growing a human is hard work. Someone get this baby out of me and hand me a margarita.
17. To all the pregnant women out there: You’ve got this. Even when you feel like you don’t. And yes, you can totally eat that cookie.

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Pregnancy: For Expectant Wits

1. A watched pot never boils, but a watched pregnancy test definitely feels like it takes forever.
2. You can lead a pregnant woman to water, but you can’t make her drink it…unless it’s pickle juice.
3. The early bird gets the worm, but the pregnant bird sends her partner out for crackers at 3 am.
4. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket…unless that basket is your expanding uterus.
5. Where there’s a will, there’s a way… to justify eating an entire cake when pregnant.
6. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is a human baby… though it sometimes feels like it!
7. You can’t judge a book by its cover, and you definitely shouldn’t judge a pregnant woman’s cravings.
8. Sleep is for the weak… and those who aren’t currently housing a tiny human doing karate on their bladder.
9. An apple a day keeps the doctor away… unless you’re craving pickles and ice cream.
10. Patience is a virtue… especially when you’re waiting for that little bundle of joy (and relief) to arrive.
11. Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two pregnancy tests with faint lines probably means you should buy a third.
12. Good things come to those who wait… and wait… and wait nine months for their little miracle.
13. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can eat today… said every pregnant woman ever.
14. You are what you eat… said no one to a pregnant woman ever.
15. Silence is golden… unless you’re surrounded by well-meaning people offering unsolicited pregnancy advice.
16. Time flies when you’re having fun… except during the last trimester, then it crawls by like a snail.

Pregnancy Double Entendres Puns: Expecting Laughs

1. “She’s not just eating for two, she’s ordering for two now too! Pregnancy, am I right?” (Playing on pregnancy cravings and ordering double portions)
2. “He told her to follow her heart… now they’re expecting. Talk about taking pregnancy advice literally!” (Playing on the phrase “follow your heart” and the baby’s location)
3. “They said pregnancy is expensive. Turns out, they weren’t kidding – I’m eating like a horse!” (Double meaning of “expensive” and a pregnant woman’s appetite)
4. “My wife’s nesting instincts are kicking in. I found a crib in the garage, and I’m pretty sure she’s eyeing my man cave next.” (Humorously implying the woman’s need to prepare for the baby is taking over)
5. “Pregnancy brain is real, folks. The other day she put the milk in the pantry and the cereal in the fridge. I think I need a pregnancy translator app!” (Exaggerating the forgetfulness associated with pregnancy hormones)
6. “My wife’s pregnancy cravings are getting out of hand. Last night she sent me out for pickles and ice cream at 3 AM! I think she’s secretly training for parenthood already.” (Highlighting the unusual cravings and sleep deprivation associated with pregnancy and parenting)
7. “They wanted to start a family, but nobody told them it would start with her pants no longer fitting! Pregnancy: the ultimate test of elasticity.” (Playing on the literal growing family and the physical changes during pregnancy)
8. “He rubbed her belly for good luck… nine months later, looks like it worked a little too well!” (Implying rubbing the belly led to the pregnancy)
9. “Heard they’re expecting… a big tax break! Pregnancy: the most adorable form of financial planning.” (Humorously connecting pregnancy to the tax benefits of having children)
10. “They say pregnancy is contagious. I just spent five minutes with her, and now I want ice cream and to take a nap.” (Jokingly implying that pregnancy symptoms are transferable)
11. “Pregnancy: when your bladder becomes a ticking time bomb, and the only safe word is ‘bathroom!'” (Playing on the frequent urination during pregnancy)
12. “She’s not sure what’s kicking more – the baby or her pregnancy workout routine. It’s a close call!” (Humorously comparing baby kicks to the intensity of prenatal exercise)
13. “Pregnancy: Proof that you can grow a watermelon in your belly, but remembering where you put your keys is a distant memory.” ( Exaggerating pregnancy brain and the size of the baby)
14. “She’s got that pregnancy glow… though I think some of it might be sweat from carrying around that extra weight!” (Joking about the “glow” attributed to pregnant women and the physical exertion of pregnancy)
15. “They’re adding a new member to their family… and their laundry pile. Pregnancy: the cutest reason for triple the chores.” (Highlighting the practicalities of a growing family and increased workload).

Funny Pregnancy Tom Swifties: Laboriously Crafted Jokes

1. “I’m craving pickles and ice cream,” Tom said longingly.
2. “The baby just kicked!” Tom exclaimed forcefully.
3. “My due date is in June,” Tom said laboriously.
4. “My pants don’t fit anymore,” Tom said waist-fully.
5. “We’re having triplets!” Tom said triply.
6. “I can’t believe how much weight I’ve gained,” Tom said heavily.
7. “These prenatal vitamins are huge!” Tom said digestively.
8. “My ankles are so swollen,” Tom said flatly.
9. “I think I need to pee again,” Tom said bladderly.
10. “My back is killing me,” Tom said spinelessly.
11. “I wonder if it’s a boy or a girl,” Tom said genderly.
12. “The baby shower is next week,” Tom said excitedly.
13. “We need to pick out a crib,” Tom said craftily.
14. “Being pregnant is a beautiful experience,” Tom said glowingly.
15. “I can’t wait to hold my baby in my arms,” Tom said lovingly.
16. “I’m starting to get nervous,” Tom said deliver-ingly.

Knock-knock Jokes about Pregnancy for Expecting Parents

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Preg. Preg who? Preg-nant to see you, been a while!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Womb. Womb who? Womb-ing to tell you something…I’m going to be a parent!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Baby. Baby who? Baby coming soon, better get the nursery ready!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cant. Cant who? Can’t-aloupe fit into these pants anymore!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pickle. Pickle who? Pickle-ttle one is kicking up a storm!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Craving. Craving who? Craving pickles and ice cream, what are you doing later?
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ultra. Ultra who? Ultra-sound revealed it’s twins!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? April. April who? April be here soon, along with the newest member of the family!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water. Water who? Water you waiting for? The baby’s coming!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nesting. Nesting who? Nesting instincts have kicked in, don’t touch my sock drawer!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lullaby. Lullaby who? Lullaby and goodnight, this pregnancy fatigue is real!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Contraction. Contraction who? Contraction-ulations, you’re about to be an aunt/uncle!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Maternity. Maternity who? Maternity leave is calling, time to put my feet up!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sonogram. Sonogram who? Sonogram-thing tells me I’m having the cutest baby ever!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Diaper. Diaper who? Diaper-ing to tell anyone yet, but we’re expecting!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kicks. Kicks who? Kicks for days! This little one has some strong legs.
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Labor. Labor who? Labor-ing under the impression that you brought snacks… right?