Laughing in Crimson: 210+ Hilarious Red Jokes and Puns

Welcome to the ultimate list of red jokes and puns! We’ve rounded up the best and most clever jokes about the color red that are guaranteed to make you and your kids laugh. From fire engines to cherry pies, we’ve got jokes about all things red. So sit back, relax, and get ready to add some humor to your day with our hilarious list of red jokes. Get ready to see red…with laughter!

Seeing Red with Laughter: Our Favorite ‘Red’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. Did you hear about the red balloon that escaped from the circus? It got a little too high and pop-ed!
3. What do you call a parade of red ants? The “ant-red”-grade!
4. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was “two-tired”!
5. What do you call a fake noodle? An “impasta”!
6. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
7. What do you get when you mix a shamrock and a tomato? A “sham-mato”!
8. What’s a pepper’s favorite dance? The “jalapeño-pop”!
9. What did the red grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little “whine”!
10. Why did Red Riding Hood wear a red hoodie? So she wouldn’t be mistaken for a “fur-ball”!
11. What do you call a sad strawberry? A “blue-berry”!
12. Did you hear about the thief who stole a calendar? He got twelve months!
13. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick!
14. How do you organize a space party? You “planet”!
15. Why did the garden turn red around the border? Because it was “beet-red”!
16. What’s a tree’s favorite drink? Root beer!
17. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
18. What do you call a fake noodle? An “impasta”!
19. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little “whine”!
20. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

Laughter is the Best Medicine: Hilariously Entertaining ‘Funny Red’ One-Liner Jokes

1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. Did you hear about the lazy firefighter? He refuses to do anything unless it’s fire engine-red.
3. I can always spot a redhead in a crowd. They stand out like a sore thumb.
4. Why did the red traffic light feel depressed? Because it was always stuck in a rut.
5. I asked my friend why she dyed her hair red. She said she was trying to spice things up.
6. What did the apple say to the cherry? “You’re looking cherryfied today!”
7. I never trust people with red hair. They’re always up to ginger business.
8. My new favorite color is red, because it’s cherrylicious!
9. Why are redheads like aliens? They’re always standing out in a crowd.
10. My doctor told me I have a rare case of “red-eye.” Apparently, I can’t stop staring at attractive people.
11. Whenever I see a clown with a red nose, I’m reminded of my ex. Both have a habit of making me cry.
12. I hate driving behind school buses. They always stop for every yellow, orange, and red thing they see.
13. A wise man once said, “The truth will set you free.” Clearly, he never had a red wine stain on his white shirt.
14. Why did the red crayon quit the job? It was feeling too blue.
15. Redheads are like unicorns – rare and beautiful, but constantly being hunted down by people with cameras.
16. Despite what the “green” movement says, red is definitely the new sustainability.
17. What do you call a redhead with an attitude? A ginger-endowed.
18. I don’t always have a red carpet entrance, but when I do, it’s usually because I tripped.
19. Redheads are like superheroes – they have a different color hair, but still manage to save the day.
20. I tried to start a fire with two sticks, but I couldn’t get them to match.

Tickle Your Funny Bone with These QnA Jokes & Puns About Red!

1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing!
3. How does a scientist call a fart? A gas chromatofart-ogram!
4. Why did the strawberry turn red? Because it saw the banana split!
5. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
6. Why was the apple worried? It was red and the teacher warned it not to get caught “red-handed.”
7. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
8. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
9. What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? If you weren’t so sweet, we wouldn’t be in this jam!
10. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing naked!
11. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
12. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the tomato sauce!
13. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator!
14. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
15. How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
16. What did one zombie say to the other zombie during a fight? “Were you bitten here, or has your face always been that ugly?”
17. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
18. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
19. Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating? They have nobody to go with.
20. What do you give an elephant that’s going to bed? Two elephant sleep!

Seeing Red: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings to Lighten Your Mood

1. “A redhead in the hand is worth two in the bush.”
2. “You can’t make a silk purse out of a redhead’s ear.”
3. “A watched pot never boils, but a redhead’s temper always does.”
4. “Redheads are like sunshine, they light up your life but they can also burn you.”
5. “Better to see red than be green with envy.”
6. “A redhead’s kisses are like a red hot chili pepper, they’ll leave you feeling spicy.”
7. “You can’t trust a redhead, they’ve already been kissed by fire.”
8. “Redheads may have a fiery temper, but they also have a heart of gold.”
9. “When life gives you lemons, paint them red and make lemonade.”
10. “No need for a night light when you have a redhead in bed.”
11. “You can’t hide your mistakes, they’ll always come back to haunt you like a bright red lipstick stain.”
12. “Red hair, don’t care. We’re not just hot, we’re flaming.”
13. “A redhead’s love is like a scarlet fever, once you catch it, there’s no cure.”
14. “They say blondes have more fun, but they’ve clearly never met a redhead.”
15. “There’s nothing like a redhead to add some spice to your life.”
16. “Redheads are like unicorns, rare and magical creatures.”
17. “Redheads may be feisty, but they also have a soft spot for those who can handle their flame.”
18. “You can never have too much red in your wardrobe or in your life.”
19. “When life gives you redheads, make sure to wear your flame retardant suit.”
20. “A little bit of red can go a long way, just make sure it’s on a redhead.”

Dad Jokes about Red: Laugh ‘Til You’re Red in the Face

1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. What do you call a red boat full of lawyers? A law-crimson!
3. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it!
4. Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu—you get what you deserve.
5. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
6. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
8. What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
9. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
10. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too low. She looked brow-beaten.
11. I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel.
12. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
13. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.
14. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
15. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
16. I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.
17. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
18. Why was the belt arrested? It held up some pants.
19. Have you heard about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
20. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.

Seeing ‘Red’ from These Double Entendres Puns Will Have You Seeing Double!

1. Here are twenty ‘Red’ Double Entendres that will make you laugh and cringe at the same time:
2. “I saw a bunch of red flags on our first date…but I ignored them and now I’m seeing red after the marriage.”
3. “I never met a red head I didn’t like…until I realized I was colorblind.”
4. “I can always spot a liar…their nose turns as red as Rudolph’s.”
5. “I don’t see the glass half full or half empty…I see it as full of red wine.”
6. “I never trust a red light…it’s always trying to stop me from having fun.”
7. “My boss saw red when I told him I was quitting…but I couldn’t handle the office politics.”
8. “I was only seeing red flags after I caught him cheating…turns out they were just red sheets.”
9. “I was feeling blue about not having any plans…but then I saw a red dress and now I’m feeling pretty.”
10. “I always wear red to job interviews…it distracts them from my lack of qualifications.”
11. “I asked the butcher for a rare steak…but he mistakenly handed me a red herring.”
12. “I never go to seafood restaurants…the shellfish makes my face turn red.”
13. “My grandmother gave me a red rose before she passed away…I guess that’s what they call a ‘re-dying gift’.”
14. “It’s not easy being a redhead…people always assume the curtains match the drapes.”
15. “I’m not a mind reader, but I do have a crystal ball in my bedroom…it’s just a really large red wine glass.”
16. “I wish I could paint the town red…but my mom is really strict about curfew.”
17. “I told my friend to eat a red apple a day to keep the doctor away…now she’s in debt from all the hospital bills.”
18. “I always thought ‘red tape’ was just a figure of speech…until I worked in a government office.”
19. “I love red lipstick…it’s like a warning label for my enemies.”
20. “My mother-in-law asked me why I’m always seeing red…I told her it’s because I live with her son.”
21. “I tried to make a red velvet cake from scratch…but it turned out more like a red velvet disaster zone.”

Red-y or not, here are some recursively funny puns about ‘red’!

1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing and blushed.
2. How do you fix a broken tomato? With a tomato paste.
3. I’m reading a book on the history of red dye. It’s very dye-verse.
4. Why did the apple turn red? Because it saw the orange and got jealous.
5. What did the paintbrush say to the red paint? Don’t go changing, you’re already my shade.
6. Why did the traffic light turn red? It wanted to stop and reflect on its decisions.
7. How does the sun get its red color? It’s a solar flare-up.
8. Roses are red, violets are blue, my favorite color is red, and so are you.
9. Did you hear about the fire truck that turned maroon? It had a midlife crisis.
10. Why did the burglar use a red light? To make his escape rosy.
11. What did the red crayon say to the blue crayon during coloring? Let’s make a love hue.
12. Why did the grape turn red? Because it accidentally stepped on a raspberry.
13. Did you hear about the comedian who loved the color red? He was on a never-ending red-dy cycle.
14. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them, because they don’t have legs to walk away.
15. I wanted to tell a joke about herbs, but I can’t think of a sage one.
16. Why did the chili pepper need sunscreen? To keep from getting too hot.
17. I saw a red convertible with an “I brake for red lights” bumper sticker. Seems like a wise apple.
18. Why did the painter use red on the sails of the ship he was painting? Because it was a sea-worthy color.
19. Why was the strawberry crying? Because his parents were in a jam.
20. Why couldn’t the tomato finish its joke? It got squished.

Red Alert: Beware of these Hilarious ‘Red’ Malapropisms

1. “I had a grisly time at the grocery store today, I couldn’t find the chicken feet!”
2. “She’s always so exasperated, I swear she’s inept!”
3. “I’m feeling pretty voluble today, I think it’s the coffee.”
4. “I can’t believe I fell for his charade, he’s such a cactus!”
5. “My boss is always making me go out of my bifocal!”
6. “I don’t want to be a forecaster, but I think there’s a cold picnic coming.”
7. “I’m not the sharpest cookie in the drawer, but even I know that’s not right.”
8. “He’s got a one-track theme, and it’s all about himself.”
9. “My new vacuum cleaner is working petrifyingly well.”
10. “I don’t mean to be a stickler, but that’s not how you spell bananas.”
11. “I need to keep a closer eye on my expenditures, I think I’m spending money like it’s water!”
12. “That movie was so full of humbug, I couldn’t even finish watching.”
13. “I’m sorry, I’m just not cut for this job.”
14. “I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on their conversation, it was so intense.”
15. “She’s always so insuppressible, she needs to learn to curb her enthusiasm.”
16. “I can’t believe he ate the whole pint of ice cream, he’s such a glutton.”
17. “I think I have a photogenic memory, I never forget a face.”
18. “My stomach is starting to grumble, I must be hungover.”
19. “I’m so sleepy today, I must have been hitting the hay too late last night.”
20. “I told him he needed to mortgage up, but he just rolled his fry away.”

Get and Rirky with These Delightful Spoonerisms about Red

1. Red Nosed Reindeer – Ned Rosed Reindeer
2. Little Red Riding Hood – Rittle Led Riding Hood
3. Red Hot Chili Peppers – Hed Rot Chili Peppers
4. Red Bull Energy Drink – Bed Rull Energy Drink
5. Red Velvet Cake – Ved Relvet Cake
6. Red Carpet – Ced Rarpet
7. Red Wine – Wed Rine
8. Red Robin Restaurant – Wed Robbin Restaurart
9. Red October – Wed Roctober
10. The Red Sea – The Wed Sea
11. Red Light District – Wed Light District
12. Red Cross – Wed Ross
13. Red Nose Day – Wed Nose Day
14. Red Solo Cup – Wed Solo Cup
15. Red Letter Day – Wed Litter Day
16. Red Riding Hood – Wed Riding Hood
17. Red Bullseye – Wed Bullseye
18. Red Planet – Wed Plantet
19. Red Lobster – Wed Lobster
20. Red Light Special – Wed Light Specal

Seeing red: Tom Swifties strike again with punny humor

1. “I can’t find my car keys,” said Tom locklessly.
2. “I dropped my scrambled eggs on the floor,” said Tom incredulously.
3. “I’ll have a BLT sandwich,” said Tom saucily.
4. “I’m never riding a roller coaster again,” said Tom wearily.
5. “I forgot to buy milk at the store,” said Tom creamily.
6. “I can’t stand the smell of skunk,” said Tom pungently.
7. “I could use some coffee right now,” said Tom perkily.
8. “I need to cut back on coffee,” said Tom decaffeinated.
9. “I’m going to be late for work,” said Tom alarmingly.
10. “I think I ate too much spicy food,” said Tom heatedly.
11. “I’m terrible at telling jokes,” said Tom laughably.
12. “I can’t stop sneezing,” said Tom achhoo-ingly.
13. “I wish I had a bag of chips right now,” said Tom crisply.
14. “I just got stung by a bee,” said Tom stingingly.
15. “I’m not a fan of horror movies,” said Tom fearfully.
16. “I just won the lottery!” said Tom richly.
17. “I think I sprained my ankle,” said Tom limpingly.
18. “I need to go on a diet,” said Tom slimly.
19. “I’m so clumsy, I spilled my drink again,” said Tom fluidly.
20. “I can’t believe I lost my phone,” said Tom cell-lessly.

Red-y or Not, Here Come Some Knock-knock Jokes!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Red. Red who? Red-y or not, here I come!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Red. Red who? Red-dy to hear a funny joke?
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little Red. Little Red who? Little Red Riding Hood!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Red. Red who? Red balloon, no strings attached!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Red. Red who? Red-y for some rosy cheeks after this joke?
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Big Red. Big Red who? Big Red dog, ready to play fetch?
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Red. Red who? Red-y to hear a knock-knock joke from me again?
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Red. Red who? Red all about it: I have a hilarious joke for you!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lady in Red. Lady in Red who? Lady in Red-y to dance the night away with this joke?
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Red. Red who? Red-dy for some funny puns?
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candy Apple Red. Candy Apple Red who? Candy Apple Red-y to make you laugh!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Red Rover. Red Rover who? Red Rover, Red Rover, send laughter right over!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Miss Scarlet. Miss Scarlet who? Miss Scarlet who always has a joke up her sleeve!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Red. Red who? Red-y to tell you a knock-knock joke about oranges?
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fiery Red. Fiery Red who? Fiery Red-y for some spicy jokes?
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Naked Red. Naked Red who? Naked Red-y to make you laugh!
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little Red Riding Hood. Little Red Riding Hood who? Little Red Riding Hood-dy to make you howl with laughter!
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Red. Red who? Red-y or not, here I come with another joke!
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Red Light. Red Light who? Red Light, Green Light, ready for some funny jokes?
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Big Bad Red. Big Bad Red who? Big Bad Red sprinkled some humor into your day!

Red-y to Wrap Up these Puns-tastic Jokes!

Well folks, looks like we’ve come to the end of our red pun-filled journey. But don’t worry, there are plenty more jokes and puns to explore in the vast world of humor. So go ahead and check out some of our other posts for a good laugh. And remember, when life gives you lemons, make sure they’re not red or these puns won’t work. Keep cracking those jokes and stay pun-tastic!