Rice Up Your Day with These 230+ Punny Jokes About Rice

Welcome to the ultimate list of rice jokes and puns that will have you laughing until you’re sushi-ed! We’re not kidding when we say we’ve scoured the internet and gathered the best of the best to satisfy your appetite for humor. These jokes are perfect for kids of all ages and are cleverly crafted to make you roll with laughter. So, without further ado, let’s get started and rice to the occasion with these positively hilarious jokes! Just a warning: prepare yourself for some sticky humor and a cr-ice load of fun. Are you ready to get your grain on? Let’s get started!

Having a ‘Grain’ Time: Rice Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks

1. What do you call a group of rice farmers who are also magicians? Conjuring Grains.
2. Did you hear about the rice that went on a diet? It slimmed itself grain by grain.
3. Why don’t rice farmers ever go on dates? Because they’re always too busy looking for a kernel of truth.
4. How does a rice farmer keep his pants up? With a pair of suspend-grains.
5. What type of music do rappers listen to while cooking rice? Hip-hop and grain.
6. What’s the best way to make a rice dish in a hurry? Use an express grain.
7. Why was the rice afraid of the sushi? Because it was on a roll.
8. How does a rice farmer stay organized? By keeping track of all the grains in his field.
9. What do you call a rice grain that’s been running late? Tardy-fled.
10. Why did the rice get promoted at work? Because it was a real go-getter.
11. How many grains of rice can fit in a car? It depends on the car’s make and model, but probably not a grainless amount.
12. Why did the rice go to the doctor? Because it was feeling under the weather.
13. How does a lazy person cook rice? In a slacker cooker.
14. What do you call a rice farmer who loves puns? A grain master.
15. Why was the rice disappointed with its karate lesson? It couldn’t break a single board-grain.
16. How do you make a rice crispy treat? Just add marsh-grains.
17. What’s a rice’s favorite type of music? Anything with a heavy basmati beat.
18. How did the rice win the race? It had some pretty grainy tactics.
19. What do you call a gangsta rice? A rice-ballin’ thug.
20. Why was the rice so popular at parties? Because it knew how to grain attention.

Rice Up Your Day with These Hilarious One-Liner Jokes about ‘Funny Rice’

1. Why couldn’t the rice sleep? It was stuck in a grain coma.
2. I asked my friend if they wanted some rice, they said no thanks, I’m carbo-loading.
3. What do you call a rice that’s on a diet? Half-grain.
4. I tried to make risotto, but I didn’t have enough wine…or patience.
5. Rice may be a staple food, but for me, it’s more of a side chic-ken.
6. I told my partner I wanted a divorce just for ricing and they said “but we have so much to wok for!”
7. I don’t trust people who say they don’t like rice, they’re obviously not reishi.
8. Rice puns are easy to come up with, they’re just part of my pho-ginity.
9. My uncle always says he’s too old to rice the bike, but I know it’s just an excuse.
10. Rice is like a best friend, always there when you need some support.
11. I tried to cook fried rice, but I think it ended up turning into paella…or sushi, I’m not quite sure.
12. I can never decide which type of rice I want, it’s a real grain teaser.
13. If someone asks you to pass the rice, do it with a grain of salt.
14. I see your rice cooker and raise you a quinoa steamer.
15. How do you know when you’ve had too much rice? When you’re feeling a bit ris-otto your regular weight.
16. My doctor advised me to have brown rice instead of white, but I think that’s a bit rice-ist.
17. Why did the rice get arrested? It was caught starching.
18. I don’t mean to be rice-ist, but I think basmati is the best type of rice.
19. I was disappointed when I found out the rice I bought was from Uncle Ben and not Uncle Tito’s.
20. Rice is a lot like life, you never know what you’re gonna get in each mouthful.

Rice, Rice, Baby: The QnA Jokes & Puns Edition

1. Q: What do you call a nervous grain of rice? A: Anxi-grain!
2. Q: Why did the rice go to therapy? A: It was feeling ungrain-ful.
3. Q: How does rice stay in shape? A: It goes to the gym and does rice-cercise.
4. Q: What do you call a rice-like musical instrument? A: A grain-o-phone.
5. Q: Why did the rice go on a diet? A: It wanted to be a little grain-er.
6. Q: How do you make a sushi roll laugh? A: You give it some tickle-me-rice.
7. Q: What did the sushi chef say to the undercooked rice? A: You’re not quite rice yet!
8. Q: What do you call a rice farmer who is also an actor? A: A rice star!
9. Q: How did the rice help the athlete? A: It gave him some extra grain-power.
10. Q: What did the rice say to the water? A: You make me feel like I’m floating on cloud nine.
11. Q: What do you call a group of rice grains that perform together? A: Grain-buskers!
12. Q: What do you call a cowboy made out of rice? A: Rice-tlinger!
13. Q: How does a rice dish greet its friends? A: It says, “Nice to meat you!”
14. Q: Why did the rice go on a rollercoaster? A: It wanted to feel like a thrill of the grain.
15. Q: What’s the best way to eat rice? A: With chopsticks, fork-tunately.
16. Q: What’s the rice’s favorite type of music? A: Jazz-ma-tazz!
17. Q: What did the rice say when it saw its reflection? A: “Rice to meet you!”
18. Q: How do you fix a broken bowl of rice? A: With a little grain-duct tape.
19. Q: What do you get when you mix rice with ice cream? A: A rice-cream cone!
20. Q: Why did the rice go to the party? A: It wanted to be the life of the grain-ty!

Dad Jokes That Will ‘Rice’ to the Occasion

1. Why did the rice farmer go on a diet? He wanted to be a whole grain.
2. I asked my dad to make me some fried rice, but he used a calculator instead of a wok.
3. How does a rice cook earn a living? They make ends meat.
4. Did you hear about the rice cake that went to therapy? It was trying to find inner-peace.
5. What did the sushi say to the bowl of rice? You have a lot of roll in this relationship.
6. I wanted to be a famous YouTuber, but all my videos were grainy.
7. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
8. I told my dad I was vegetarian, and he said I must have a lot of will flower power.
9. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
10. I finally convinced my dad to go gluten-free, but now he’s just a shell of his former self.
11. Why did the rice cake have a bad day? Because it was feeling a bit flat.
12. How do you know if a sushi is stylish? It has good taste.
13. What did the sushi say to the bee? Wassabee?
14. Did you hear about the rice that went to night school? It wanted to become a wild rice.
15. What did one grain of rice say to the other? Rice to meet you!
16. Why was the rice arrested? For being starchy.
17. I told my dad I was thinking about opening a sushi restaurant, and he said he’d roll his eyes at me.
18. What did the sushi say to the seaweed? You’re like an anchor to me.
19. Why did the rice go out on Saturday night? It wanted to get wild and free.
20. I asked my dad if he wanted some brown rice, and he said no thanks, he prefers his food to be a little more colorful.

Rice, rice baby – hilariously relatable quotes about everyone’s staple food!

1. “Rice is just a fancy word for tiny noodles.”
2. “Rice – the food that multiplies in your stomach like rabbits.”
3. “What’s the best way to describe rice? A million little carb soldiers marching to your thighs.”
4. “Rice: the ultimate side dish…or is it a cereal?”
5. “Rice is like a chameleon, it can blend in with any dish and still make it delicious.”
6. “Rice: the only food that’s acceptable to throw at weddings.”
7. “If you’re ever feeling lonely, just remember there are millions of rice grains packed together in one bowl.”
8. “Adding soy sauce to rice is like putting a wig on a potato – it instantly becomes fancier.”
9. “Rice – the grain that defines the phrase ‘small but mighty’.”
10. “The best thing about rice? It’s always there for you, like a loyal carb-filled friend.”
11. “Rice: the food equivalent of a blank canvas, waiting for flavor to be painted on.”
12. “The true MVP of Chinese takeout? The rice that soaks up all the sauce and flavor.”
13. “Rice: the humble grain that holds together sushi rolls and rice crispy treats alike.”
14. “Out of all the grains, rice is definitely the one with the most starch-cred.”
15. “Some say ‘rice is life’, but I say ‘life is rice’ – because it’s in almost every dish.”
16. “Rice was just trying to be healthy, until it met butter and soy sauce and became delicious.”
17. “Is fried rice really that different from regular rice, or is it just dressed to impress?”
18. “Eating rice with chopsticks? Just imagine you’re playing a game of ‘Operation’ with your food.”
19. “Instant rice: for when you want to pretend you have time to make real rice.”
20. “I don’t always eat rice, but when I do, it’s always accompanied by a fortune cookie.”

Laugh and learn with these Hilarious Proverbs & Clever Sayings about Rice!

1. “A bowl of rice a day keeps the hunger pangs away, but a bowl of rice pudding a day keeps the blues at bay.”
2. “A wise man once said, ‘Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a lot of rice.'”
3. “The road to a man’s heart is through his stomach, especially if you cook him a delicious rice dish.”
4. “Love is like a bowl of rice, it’s only bland if you don’t spice it up.”
5. “Don’t put all your grains in one basket, diversify your rice options.”
6. “Rice: it’s basically just a vessel for the real star of the meal – the sauce.”
7. “When life gives you lemons, make lemon rice for a little zest in your day.”
8. “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless it’s a chicken covered in tasty rice seasoning.”
9. “Rice is like a good friend, always there to soak up all your troubles.”
10. “They say variety is the spice of life, but I say rice is the real spice of life.”
11. “Rice: the ultimate comfort food, no matter the shape or size of the rice cooker.”
12. “A rice cooker is like a magic wand, turning dried grains into fluffy goodness with just the touch of a button.”
13. “The grass is always greener on the other side, unless you’re talking about rice fields – then it’s the same shade of green everywhere.”
14. “They say patience is a virtue, but have they ever tried waiting for rice to cook?”
15. “Rice cakes may be low in calories, but they’re high in disappointment.”
16. “I’ve been on a strict diet lately, it’s called the ‘rice and anything’ diet.”
17. “Rice wine is like liquid courage for the taste buds.”
18. “You can’t make everyone happy, but you can make a good rice pilaf and that’s pretty close.”
19. “Rice: the original ‘filler food’ before cauliflower became trendy.”
20. “They say you are what you eat, so I’m practically made of rice.”

Satisfy Your Appetite With These Rice-sistably Funny Double Entendres Puns

1. “I can’t decide if I want to eat rice or take a chance on a spicy date tonight.”
2. “I’m on a diet, so I can only have one scoop of rice for dinner. But I can have all the double entendres I want!”
3. “Do you know what the best thing about rice is? It never talks back!”
4. “Sorry, I made too much rice for dinner. Looks like we’ll be having leftovers for the next few days…pun intended.”
5. “I always say, when life gives you lemons, make lemon rice! Or is it lemonade? I can never remember.”
6. “I’m always in the mood for some rice at the end of a long, hard day. Oh, and also some food.”
7. “Rice is like a blank canvas for flavors and seasonings. Just like my love life…oh wait, that’s not a good thing.”
8. “They say rice is a staple food, but for me it’s more like a staple in my jokes repertoire.”
9. “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the rice on the other side!”
10. “I’m not saying I’m addicted to rice, but I do have a huge crush on it, maybe even a rice obsession.”
11. “Today’s weather forecast: cloudy with a chance of rice grains falling from the sky.”
12. “I like my rice like I like my humor…dry and full of puns.”
13. “What’s better than rice? A bowl of rice with a side of dad jokes!”
14. “Rice is the grain that keeps on giving, especially when it comes to my double entendres.”
15. “I never trust someone who doesn’t like rice. They’re just not my type…of funny, that is.”
16. “Don’t worry about my rice jokes, they’re just a grain of salt in the big bowl of comedy.”
17. “Why did the rice get a job as a comedian? Because it was tired of being the punchline.”
18. “I never thought I’d be able to make a career out of my love for rice, but here I am, killin’ it with my double entendres!”
19. “Rice may be small and unassuming, but it’s definitely not lacking in flavor…or punchlines.”
20. “Some people say that rice and jokes are better when they’re brief and to the point. Yeah, those people have clearly never heard my puns!”

Rice, Rice Baby: A Recursive Puns Saga

1. Why couldn’t the grain of rice go to the party? Because it was already seasoned!
2. Did you hear about the rice that won the marathon? It crossed the finish line in a grain-splitting time!
3. Why did the chef always use rice in his dishes? It was his grain ingredient!
4. What did the rice say when it was feeling lonely? “I’m just a little rice-olated.”
5. Why did the rice go to therapy? To work out its grain struggles.
6. Did you hear about the rice’s new workout routine? It’s all about building grain muscle!
7. How do you know if a piece of rice is a good singer? It hits all the right rice notes!
8. Why did the sushi roll feel embarrassed? It was naked without its rice wrapper!
9. What did the rice say when it finally found its true calling? “I found my grain purpose!”
10. How does rice greet people? “Nice to meet you, I’ve been milling around.”
11. Why did the rice go on a diet? It wanted to be grain-fully thin!
12. Did you hear about the rice’s new job as a comedian? It’s been getting a lot of grain applause!
13. Why was the rice so popular in the music industry? It always had killer grain hooks!
14. What did the rice say when it was feeling cold? “I need to layer up, I’m feeling a bit grainchilled.”
15. How did the rice win the heated argument? It used its grain of salt to calm things down.
16. Why did the rice farmer get arrested? For growing illegal grains!
17. What did the rice say when it won the pageant? “I’m feeling like a grain-ious beauty queen!”
18. Why couldn’t the rice make it to the gym? It was stuck in a grain of traffic.
19. How many grains of rice does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they prefer to be well rice-ested!
20. Why did the rice artist never sell any of their paintings? They were all too grainy!

Rice-king Tom Swifties: Punning his way to perfectly cooked grains.

1. “I always stir up controversy with my risotto,” said Tom rationally.
2. “My favorite type of rice is wild,” said Tom wildly.
3. “I hope this fried rice doesn’t egg-acerbate my allergies,” said Tom seasonedly.
4. “I can’t believe I ate all that sushi,” said Tom, slightly embarassed.
5. “I’m on a strict rice-only diet,” said Tom grainfully.
6. “I have a PhD in rice cultivation,” said Tom paddyngly.
7. “I have a secret ingredient that makes my fried rice irresistible,” said Tom saucily.
8. “I’m so full, I feel like I could burst like a bag of rice,” said Tom expansively.
9. “I’m pretty sure this rice is cursed,” said Tom bewitchingly.
10. “I’ve been searching for the perfect rice dish my whole life,” said Tom tirelessly.
11. “I’m a ninja when it comes to making sticky rice,” said Tom stealthily.
12. “I’m thinking about rice-ing my bike to work,” said Tom wheely.
13. “These rice cakes are a piece of cake to make,” said Tom evenly.
14. “I’m so glad this wedding has a rice throwing tradition,” said Tom grainfully.
15. “I’m not a fan of white rice, but brown rice is a whole grain,” said Tom wholesomely.
16. “I’ll have to rice to the occasion and cook dinner for my date,” said Tom obligingly.
17. “I could eat Chinese takeout every day, it’s not a rice-st,” said Tom insatiably.
18. “I may be a chef, but I still can’t cook rice properly,” said Tom unprofessionally.
19. “I want to retire and live in a house made of rice, it’s my grain dream,” said Tom dreamily.
20. “I’ve mastered every kind of stir fry, I’m a rice master,” said Tom stirringly.

Knock-knock. Who’s there? Rice. Rice who? Rice to the challenge of making you laugh!

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rice. Rice who? Rice to meet you, I’m a grain of humor!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say rice?
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t boo-hoo, have some rice with your soup!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. Leaf who? Leaf it to me to make a rice pun!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bacon. Bacon who? Bacon a batch of rice krispie treats, you in?
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy days call for some delicious fried rice!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Beets. Beets who? Beets me why I chose rice for this joke.
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honey. Honey who? Honey, can I have some more rice?
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tomato. Tomato who? Tomato-tomato, let’s call the whole thing fried rice.
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustard. Mustard who? Mustard told me to tell you, rice and beans make a great duo!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Banana have some rice pudding with me?
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cashew. Cashew who? Cashew outside, let’s eat some rice inside.
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you for making this delicious rice dish.
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mango. Mango who? Mango go crazy for some rice curry!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce eat rice, it’s good for the waistline.
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Peach. Peach who? Peach any rice dishes lately?
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Broccoli. Broccoli who? Broccoli your rice in the microwave again?
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Grape. Grape who? Grape minds think alike, I love rice too.
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Clementine. Clementine who? Clementine-a is the perfect compliment to some savory rice.
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pineapple. Pineapple who? Pineapple my business – rice is just plain tasty.

Rice Up Your Vocabulary with These Hilarious Malapropisms” – Rice Malapropisms

1. “I just can’t deal with the sinuses in this room, it’s too ricey.”
2. “Rice, rice baby!”
3. “I’m feeling a little fried after that workout, need to refuel with some rice cakes.”
4. “He’s always stirring the pot, trying to start some fried rice.”
5. “I love a good stir-fry, but my husband always ruins it with his bean browns.”
6. “Do you want to go to the movies tonight? There’s a great new romantic comedy called ‘Rice and Shoulders’.”
7. “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing…now I have a major rice belly.”
8. “Sorry, I can’t make it to lunch, I have a prior rice-ervation.”
9. “I can’t stop coughing, I must have inhaled some riced pepper.”
10. “I’m going to start a new diet, it’s called ‘Rice for your Life’.”
11. “I have to go to the dentist tomorrow, I think I have a tooth ache, or maybe I just have bad rice in my mouth.”
12. “Oh no, my phone died! I guess my rice start is over.”
13. “I’m working overtime so I can save up for a new rice burner.”
14. “I ran out of gas on the highway, talk about a sticky rice situation.”
15. “I’m trying to eat healthier, so I started buying riced vegetables instead of regular ones.”
16. “I had a nightmare last night, I dreamt I was trapped in a room filled with riced krispies.”
17. “I’m not feeling well, I think I have a case of the rices.”
18. “My family loves to have a big bowl of popcorn and watch a good horror movie, it’s a rice tradition.”
19. “I’m so glad I switched to a plant-based diet, I feel so much happier and ricer.”
20. “I can’t decide between the chicken or the steak for dinner, it’s such a tough rice.”

Rice Remains Riotously Rife: Clever Spoonerisms About the Staple Grain

1. “Lice Ringers” instead of “Rice Lingers”
2. “Dice Raku” instead of “Rice Cake”
3. “Mice Pudding” instead of “Rice Pudding”
4. “Nice Reaper” instead of “Rice Paper”
5. “Vice Rats” instead of “Rice Vats”
6. “Sliced Rear” instead of “Rice Salad”
7. “Price Tarts” instead of “Rice Plants”
8. “Twice Rack” instead of “Rice Crackers”
9. “Hice Roux” instead of “Rice Soup”
10. “Fried Rhyme” instead of “Fried Rice”
11. “Priced Rolls” instead of “Rice Balls”
12. “Wise Rine” instead of “Rice Wine”
13. “Mice Pies” instead of “Rice Piles”
14. “Bite Roast” instead of “Rice Toast”
15. “Ride Rakes” instead of “Rice Cakes”
16. “Nice Rrisotto” instead of “Rice Risotto”
17. “Slice Romatoes” instead of “Rice Tomatoes”
18. “Bice Bones” instead of “Rice Bowls”
19. “Tasty Ricecream” instead of “Rice Cream”
20. “Flavored Ricekies” instead of “Rice Flakes”

Rice out with these hilarious puns!

Well folks, that’s a wrap on our rice-tastic pun and joke post! We hope you’ve had a good laugh and maybe even learned some new ways to appreciate the delicious grain. And if you’re still hungry for more punny goodness, make sure to check out our other related posts. Trust us, they’re sure to be a-MAIZE-ing!