100+ River Jokes & Puns: You’re Gonna Laugh With This Flow!
Get ready to laugh your way downstream with the absolute best river jokes and puns this side of the Mississippi! 😂 This list of clever quips and funny flows is sure to make you smile, whether you’re a fan of puns or just love a good chuckle. Did you know a river can flow in any direction, not just south? It’s true! So grab your life vest and get ready to dive into a sea of humor – these river jokes are positively overflowing with laughter! 🌊🤣
Top River Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Upstream
- Heard about the indecisive river? It just couldn’t choose a branch!
- What do you call a river that’s always lost? A meanderer!
- I tried to make a river laugh. It was impossible, they have no banks!
- Rivers are always up to something. They’re so full of current events!
- Never tell a secret near a river – they have mouths, but no ears!
- Did you hear about the river that won an award? It was very prestigious!
- That river is always so calm. I think it must meditate.
- Feelings about this river pun list? Go with the flow!
- That river is such a drama queen, always acting so dramatic!
- The river was feeling really down. It needed a pick-me-up truck!
- What kind of music do rivers like? Anything with a good flow!
- Never criticize a river. It will always take it the wrong way.
- Two rivers got in a fight. It was utter chaos!
- That river is so shallow. You can totally see right through it.
- The river finally got a job! It’s a realtor now, specializing in riverfront property
Funny River One-Liner Jokes To Make You Wet Yourself
- I tried to organize a kayaking trip on the Nile, but I hit a snag… Pharaoh refused to budge.
- My friend asked me to describe a river, I told him it was water you just can’t trust. It’s always up to something.
- Rivers are so lazy, they just meander wherever they want.
- You know what’s really impressive about rivers? They can carry a tune.
- I tried to write a song about a river, but it was too current.
- Why did the river lose its job? It just couldn’t stay current.
- Rivers have such pure intentions. They’re always flowing with the good times.
- I tried to make friends with a river, but it was too shallow for my liking.
- Rivers are such drama queens, always causing a scene when it rains.
- You can never really trust a river, they’re always changing their minds.
- I asked the river for some life advice… it said “just go with the flow”.
- I thought about writing a book about a river, but I couldn’t find its current address.
- I once saw a fish playing the trumpet in a river. I thought, “That’s a pretty catchy tune!”
- How do rivers pay their bills? With their water bills!
- Why are rivers so good at poker? They always have an ace up their sleeve. (Or rather, an ‘ea’ up their sleeve!)
- Never tell a river your secrets. They have a bad habit of spilling everything.
QnA Jokes & Puns about River: Making Waves of Laughter
- Q: Why did the river always stay in its banks? A: Because it had excellent self-control!
- Q: What kind of music do rivers like? A: Anything with a good flow!
- Q: Why don’t they play cards on the river? A: Too many cheetahs! (Cheaters/cheetahs)
- Q: What did the ocean say to the river? A: You can run, but you can’t tide!
- Q: Why was the river feeling blue? A: It had the blues for its bay!
- Q: What runs but cannot walk? A: A river… duh! (Classic!)
- Q: What did the river say to the rock? A: Nothing, it just gurgled!
- Q: Where do sick rivers go? A: To the doc! (Dock/doc)
- Q: What kind of hair do ocean creatures have? A: Wavy! River creatures? Well, they like it flowing!
- Q: What do you call a river that’s good at karate? A: A chop-kick stream!
- Q: Why did the river get in trouble at school? A: For always going with the flow!
- Q: What’s a river’s favorite type of candy? A: Flow-rest Gums! (Forest/flow-rest)
- Q: What’s a river’s favorite subject? A: Cur-rent events!
- Q: Have you heard about the kidnapping on the river? A: It’s okay, he woke up! (He woke up/He was woke up)
- Q: What’s brown, furry, and wears sunglasses by the river? A: A hip-po-potamus!
- Q: What did the river say when it saw pollution? A: “Hey! That’s not cool!” (Temperature/attitude pun)
- Q: How do trees get on the internet? A: They log in! And they use the river for a stream! (Double pun!)
Dad Jokes about River You Can’t Wade Through
- Why did the river get in trouble at school? It was caught cheating off the bank.
- You know, I tried to organize a river rafting trip for vegetarians… But I couldn’t find any streams without meat-andering paths!
- My son asked me what the laziest river is. I said, “It must be the Missis-sip-i.”
- Heard they’re making a movie about the history of rivers… Sounds like it’ll be stream-ing soon!
- I used to be a river guide, but it was too current-ing for me. Got swept up in all the action.
- Why are rivers always in trouble? They can’t keep their mouths shut!
- Why don’t they play cards on rivers? Too much current-cy.
- Why is the Mississippi River so good at poker? Because it’s got so many tributaries!
- I tried to start a river-themed band, but we couldn’t find a good bass player.
- Went fishing by the river but only caught a smallmouth bass. Guess you could say it was a little disa-pointment.
- They say water is the most essential element to life… But I think it’s the river; it’s always down to flow!
- You hear about the river that went on a diet? It lost all its tributaries!
- What do you get if you cross a river and a road? I don’t know, but it’s water under the bridge now!
- Why was the river feeling blue? It was feeling a little down stream.
- Two rivers merge and start flowing together. One turns to the other and says, “Hey, our currents seem to be merging!”
Funny Quotes and Captions about River to Make You Stream with Laughter
- Just saw a sign that said, “Don’t drink and drive, swim in the river instead.” Finally, some solid life advice.
- My therapist told me to go with the flow… so I jumped in a river. Turns out that’s not what she meant. 😂
- Life is like a river, constantly changing, full of twists and turns… and occasionally, you run into a tree. 😜
- You know you’re having a bad hair day when even the river won’t reflect your image. 😅
- I tried to make a river laugh… it was a roaring success! 🥁
- Relationship status: In deep water. Literally. I tripped and fell into the river. 😔😂
- I’m not saying I’m lazy, but I’ve been tubing down this river for three hours and I haven’t seen a single work email. 😎
- Tried to start a conversation with the river, but it just kept babbling on. 🤦♀️
- Just found out I’m distantly related to a body of water…guess you could say it runs in the family. 😏
- Me trying to hold onto my responsibilities like a poorly built raft going down a raging river. 😳
- Dear River, thank you for always being there to listen to my problems, even if you do have a tendency to wash them downstream. 🙏
- Never trust a river with a secret… it has too many mouths to tell. 😉
- Warning: May spontaneously burst into song about rivers. Don’t stand too close, you might get splashed with questionable singing talent. 🎤
- I told the river to get its life together… it just rolled its eyes at me. 👀
- I don’t always go with the flow, but when I do, there’s usually a river involved. 😎
- What does a river wear to a party? Current trends! 🎉
Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about River: Go with the Flow
- You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him build a dam. Some things are just too ambitious, even for a thirsty horse.
- Don’t change horses in midstream… unless the one you’re on is inflatable and rapidly deflating. Sometimes, desperate times call for desperate measures.
- Life is like a river: full of twists, turns, and the occasional rogue log threatening to capsize your inner tube. Hold on tight!
- The early bird gets the worm, but the early fish gets to enjoy the river before the kayakers arrive. Timing is everything.
- A watched pot never boils, but a watched river will eventually flood if you stare at it long enough. Quit stalling and get the sandbags!
- Where there’s a will, there’s a way to cross a river… unless the will is poorly written and doesn’t include a bridge fund. Always read the fine print.
- Don’t cry over spilled milk; cry over polluted rivers, because that’s a real problem. Get your priorities straight, people!
- Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was the Grand Canyon. Great things take time, erosion, and a whole lot of geological activity.
- You can’t judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, and you can’t judge a river by its lack of Wi-Fi. Everyone has their strengths… and weaknesses.
- Two heads are better than one, especially when you’re trying to paddle a canoe upstream. Teamwork makes the dream work!
- The grass is always greener on the other side of the river… until you realize they use a different brand of fertilizer. Don’t compare your lawn to others.
- A penny saved is a penny earned, but a river cleaned is a community earned. Invest in your environment, folks!
- Curiosity killed the cat, but it also led to the discovery of new and exciting rivers. Take risks (but maybe not the feline-related kind).
- Absence makes the heart grow fonder, especially when you’re downstream from your significant other and their questionable campfire cooking. Distance makes the heart (and stomach) yearn.
- A river never forgets, it just keeps flowing. Learn from your mistakes and move on, just like this metaphorical body of water.
River Double Entendres Puns: Flowing with Humor
- “You can say that river’s got curves, but I hear it’s pretty shallow.” (Playing on physical curves and depth of personality)
- “That river’s got a wild reputation. Apparently, it’s crossed a lot of bridges.” (Playing on adventurousness and literally crossing structures)
- “They say don’t change for anyone, but that river sure meanders a lot to impress.” (Playing on staying true to oneself and a river’s winding path)
- “I asked the river for its number, but it just kept flowing.” (Playing on flirting and a river’s constant movement)
- “This wine pairs perfectly with a view of the river… they’re both dry and unpredictable.” (Playing on taste and the nature of the river)
- “Tried to have a deep conversation with the river, but it was pretty current.” (Playing on meaningful talk and the flow of water)
- “Don’t judge a river by its color, it’s probably just going through a phase.” (Playing on appearances and the changing state of a river)
- “That river’s single and ready to mingle… it’s got tributaries everywhere.” (Playing on relationships and smaller streams joining a river)
- “They broke up. It seems their love, like that river, had run its course.” (Playing on the end of a relationship and the path of a river)
- “I told the river a secret. I hope it can keep its mouth shut.” (Playing on confidentiality and a river’s delta)
- “This band rocks! They’re like a river, always drawing a huge crowd.” (Playing on musical talent and a river’s attraction)
- “Feelings as deep as that river? Yeah, and about as easy to navigate.” (Playing on emotional depth and the challenges of crossing a river)
- “She’s a real catch, that one. Just like fishing in a river, you never know what you’ll get.” (Playing on finding a partner and the luck involved in fishing)
- “Hear about the river that won an award? It was truly outstanding in its field.” (Playing on achievement and the geographical area of a river)
- “Tried to argue with the river, but it always changed the subject.” (Playing on disagreements and the shifting currents of a river)
Funny River Tom Swifties: Currently Humorous
- “That river is really wide!” said Tom expansively.
- “The current’s getting stronger!” Tom rafted rapidly.
- “This river is so shallow!” Tom remarked superficially.
- “I think I saw a catfish!” whispered Tom whiskerly.
- “Watch out for that sandbar!” Tom exclaimed bank-ruptly.
- “This water is surprisingly cold!” shivered Tom currently.
- “My canoe keeps drifting towards the bank,” Tom stated edgily.
- “Look at all the smooth stones!” said Tom stonily.
- “This is where the river divides,” Tom forked off.
- “This tributary is quite small,” Tom noted branchingly.
- “The water is flowing upstream!” Tom exclaimed tidally.
- “I can’t believe we crossed the state line,” Tom remarked borderly.
- “Let’s build a campfire beside the river,” Tom suggested warmly.
- “This river seems endless,” Tom said longingly.
- “There’s a dam ahead!” Tom exclaimed powerfully.
- “I dropped my oar in the river,” Tom said remissibly.
- “Time to pack up and leave the river,” Tom said dryly.
Knock-Knock Jokes about River You Can’t Wade Out Of
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? River. River who? River you going to open this door sometime soon?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? River. River who? River gonna give you up, River gonna let you down! (Rick-rolled ya!)
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? River. River who? River you go, life is like a river, it keeps flowing.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? River. River who? River seen my rubber ducky? He floated away!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? River. River who? River heard of a talking river before? This is getting ridiculous!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? River. River who? River you going fishing? Don’t forget your waders!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? River. River who? River a mind, I’ll come back later when you’re not so cryptic.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? River. River who? River seen a current event lately? I hear the news is flowing!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? River. River who? River you going to invite me in? It’s getting cold out here by the…riverbank.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? River. River who? River you seen my boat? It must have drifted downstream!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? River. River who? River thought about how much water has flowed under this bridge? Me neither, but it’s a lot!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? River. River who? River just kidding, it’s not me, it’s… oh wait, you got me again!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? River. River who? River give you three guesses who’s behind this door…
