120+ Royal Jokes & Puns: Prepare to Be Amused!
Get ready to laugh like a king (or queen) because you’re about to dive into the best list of royalty jokes and puns this side of the royal jester! We’ve got enough humor here to make even the stiffest upper lip crack a smile. Did you know Queen Victoria was so amused by puns, she actually had a “Pun Master” in her court? Get ready to feel the power of positive (and punny) vibes with these clever jokes that are anything but common!
Top Royalty Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Fit for a Laugh
- Heard the queen’s speech was a disaster? Yeah, it was utter chaos…reigns.
- Why don’t kings and queens ever travel light? They’ve got a lot of baggage.
- Looking for a knight in shining armor? Sorry, they’re all booked up.
- What’s a prince’s favorite kind of music? Anything with a good beat.
- The king wasn’t a fan of the portrait. He said it was too… realistic.
- You can’t trust atoms… They make up everything, even royalty.
- What’s a monarch’s favorite type of tea? Royal-y good tea, of course!
- King’s got a new pet parrot. It’s pretty demanding… Keeps asking for Polly-tics updates.
- Why did the king break up with the queen? He felt like something was amiss.
- My friend told me he’s descended from royalty. I told him to prove it.
- What’s a royal dog’s favorite movie genre? Barkumentaries.
- The queen is an expert at archery. She’s got amazing aim.
- Ever notice how castles are always cold? They’re full of drafts.
- The king’s favorite beverage? Reign-water.
- Word is, the royal family loves playing Scrabble… They’re always fighting over the crown.
- Dating a prince is great, but… It’s a lot of pressure.
- Heard about the ghost haunting the palace? Turns out he was just a lost spirit.
Funny Royalty One-Liner Jokes: Fit For A King (Or Queen)
- I tried to explain to the prince that his family tree was more of a shrub, but he just wouldn’t hear it – guess you can’t prune royalty!
- The queen was always losing her knights at chess, but she didn’t sweat it – she knew pawns come and go.
- I bumped into the king at the Renaissance Faire yesterday. He said it was nice to meet me, but I think he was lying – he’s met me before, he’s just terrible with commoners.
- Heard the king’s speech was terrible? He really bombed – spoke for an hour about his stamp collection. Talk about philately royalty!
- The queen is starting a new fitness program – she’s calling it “Rule the Realm and Your Abs.”
- What website does the royal family use to shop for clothes online? Monarch.com.
- The king is writing a tell-all autobiography, but he’s struggling to come up with a title. Right now, it’s between “Lord of the Things” and “Spare Heir”.
- Why was the king terrible at poker? Because he had a royal flush… every hand.
- What’s it called when a royal is really bad at their job? A ruling class-tastrophe.
- I tried starting a band called “The Monarchs,” but we couldn’t get our act together. We were terrible, without a single reigning champion among us.
- The royal family just opened a bakery. They specialize in cakes fit for a king, and are surprisingly affordable. They’re really cutting a slice of the profits!
- The prince told me he wanted to be an archaeologist when he grows up – seems he’s got his eyes on the throne and the tomb!
- My friend claims he’s descended from royalty. I told him, “Yeah, and I’m the Queen of Sheba. Prove it.”
- The castle dungeon was looking a bit drab, so they decided to spruce it up a bit. Now it’s a captive-ating space.
- The royal chef lost his job after burning the king’s breakfast. It seems even royalty can’t escape the consequences of a bad omelette-arch.
- I saw Prince Charming at the laundromat today. Looks like Cinderella’s fairy tale ending didn’t include a washing machine.
QnA Jokes & Puns about Royalty: Fit for a Laugh
- Q: Why did the king always have trouble sleeping? A: He had a terrible case of the royal insomnia – he kept throne-ing and turning all night!
- Q: What’s a monarch’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a really catchy coronation!
- Q: Why did the knight bring a ladder to the castle? A: He heard the princess was looking for a knight in shining armor, and he wanted to be a step above the competition!
- Q: How do you make a royal smoothie? A: Just blend in a regal amount of kale!
- Q: Why don’t they play poker in the royal family? A: Because someone is always bluffing with a royal flush!
- Q: What’s a royal baby’s favorite game show? A: The Price is Right-ful Heir!
- Q: What do you call it when royalty goes grocery shopping? A: A noble quest for provisions!
- Q: Why did the prince refuse to marry the princess with a broken leg? A: He didn’t want to start their relationship on the wrong foot!
- Q: Where do royal penguins keep their money? A: In a snow bank, of course!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a king with a skunk? A: I don’t know, but it sure would rule the room!
- Q: Why did the queen go to the dentist? A: To get her teeth crowned!
- Q: Heard about the royal dog who was also a lawyer? A: He was known for winning all his cases on a technicality — “paw-sitive identification”!
- Q: What did the prince say to his wife when their carriage arrived? A: Let’s roll, my queen!
- Q: What do you get if you cross the Queen with a rapper? A: A hip-hop sovereign!
- Q: Why was the court so suspicious of the new chef’s “Magic Soup”? A: They worried it might be a recipe for dis-a-throne-ment!
- Q: Why did the king love going to the theatre? A: He said it was the only place where he could truly let his heir down!
Dad Jokes about Royalty: Fit for a Pun
- They say the life of royalty is lavish, but honestly? It’s all a bit… extravagant for my tastes.
- You know, I used to be a king before it was cool. Then I decided to reign it all in.
- Remember that time I met the prince and he was completely broke? He must be heir-conditioned to that.
- What’s a royal dog’s favorite music? Anything but the blues. You know, because they’re a royal breed.
- What’s King Arthur’s favorite board game? Chess, of knight.
- This whole “Game of Thrones” thing? Overrated. Now, “Duck, Duck, Goose” with the royal family? That’s entertainment!
- Heard they’re opening a new seafood restaurant called “King Crab.” Pretty high prawns for a new place, if you ask me.
- Why did the knight bring a ladder to the castle? He heard the princess was in another citadel.
- Just saw a prince who looked exactly like me! Guess great minds really do think alike.
- A king’s life is full of tough decisions. Like, should I wear the ruby crown or the emerald crown today? It’s crowning on me!
- Why don’t they play poker in the royal court? Too many kings, and everyone knows how to bluff!
- You want to know the secret to ruling a kingdom? It’s all about the reign man!
- Why did the jester get promoted to king? Because he was always clowning around!
- You know what they say about kings and their money? It’s good to be king.
Funny Quotes and Captions about Royalty Fit for a Laugh
- “My therapist told me to embrace my inner royalty. So I bought myself a crown and now refuse to eat anything but caviar. Therapy is expensive.”
- “Just found out I’m distantly related to King Henry VIII. Apparently, I inherited his appetite but not his wives. Bummer.”
- “Some people are born royalty. Others marry into it. Me? I’m just waiting for the day they accept online applications.”
- “Life hack: Want to feel like royalty? Walk around with a corgi. Everyone will assume you’re a monarch in disguise.”
- “My bank account is more like a peasant uprising than royalty. We’re talking pitchforks and torches down here.”
- “They say money talks… But judging by the size of my paycheck, mine must have a speech impediment.” #royaltystruggles”
- “Being royal is easy. It’s choosing which tiara to wear with your sweatpants that’s the real challenge.”
- “Sure, I wave at strangers like I’m royalty. They’re just peasants who haven’t realized I’m their queen yet.”
- “You think you’re having a bad hair day? Imagine being a royal and having your face on currency.”
- “Just realized I have more crowns in my emoji keyboard than in my actual life. Time to rethink my priorities.”
- “Dating app bio: ‘Seeking someone who can appreciate the finer things in life, like discounted ramen and pretending to be royalty.'”
- “My ideal job? Professional heir to a throne. Minimal responsibilities, maximum compensation. Is that too much to ask?”
- “You know you’re not royalty when your idea of a ‘grand ballroom’ is your living room after vacuuming.”
- “Royal decree: Napping is now mandatory, effective immediately. Let them eat cake… in their sleep.”
- “Tried walking around with a scepter today. Turns out people are less amused and more likely to call security.”
- “Royalty is in the blood, they say. Personally, I think it’s all about the confidence and maybe a little bit of good lighting.”
- “Life is short, eat dessert first. – Words to live by, from someone who’s definitely not royalty but really enjoys cake.”
Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Royalty: Fit for a King (or Queen!)
- A crown may be heavy, but it makes a great hat rack.
- You can lead a horse to a castle, but you can’t make him pay rent.
- Don’t put all your eggs in one kingdom.
- The early bird catches the worm, but the royal gets served breakfast in bed.
- A penny saved is a penny the king didn’t ask for.
- Too many cooks spoil the broth, especially if one of them is the queen and insists on adding truffles.
- Where there’s a will, there’s a relative trying to challenge it for the throne.
- Rome wasn’t built in a day, but they had a bigger construction crew than I do. (Probably uttered by an exasperated monarch)
- People in glass castles shouldn’t throw parties with commoners.
- All that glitters is not gold, some of it is just really convincing costume jewelry.
- The grass is always greener in the neighboring kingdom… until you factor in their tax rates.
- Don’t bite the hand that wears the royal signet ring.
- When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then marry rich and hire someone to do it for you.
- You can’t judge a book by its cover, unless it’s the royal family album; then you can totally judge.
- A watched pot never boils, but a watched heir to the throne is just good parenting.
- Silence is golden, especially if you’re overhearing a plot to usurp the throne.
Royalty Double Entendres Puns: A Regal Riot of Words
- The king was struggling to write his memoir. He said, “Writing about yourself is hard, but I guess that’s just the price of royalty.” (Royalties from book sales OR the burden of being royal)
- The queen’s fashion designer was a true visionary. He said, “With every stitch, I redefine royalty.” (Royal elegance OR payment for using his designs)
- The princess wanted a pet unicorn. She declared, “Only the most magical creatures for this royalty!” (Her royal status OR her magnificent hair)
- The king loved online shopping. He proclaimed, “Next-day delivery? Now that’s what I call royalty!” (Royal treatment OR very expensive shipping option)
- The queen had a soft spot for musicians. “Good music is a gift,” she said, “It’s true royalty for the ears.” (Music fit for royals OR high-quality, impressive music)
- The prince, a notorious flirt, winked and said, “I may not have a crown, but I can still treat you like royalty.” (Royal treatment OR a cheesy pick-up line)
- The princess, an aspiring novelist, sighed, “I’ll never earn enough royalty from my historical fiction. Looks like I’m stuck with the real thing.” (Book royalties OR her royal status)
- The king, known for his frugality, grumbled, “Do you know how much royalty they wanted for this tiny castle? Outrageous!” (Payment for using castle image OR the price of the actual castle)
- The queen, an avid gardener, beamed, “Look at these roses! They’re the royalty of my garden.” (Most beautiful flowers OR literally rose varieties named after royalty)
- The prince, trying to impress a date, declared, “I’m taking you to a restaurant where the food is royalty, and the chefs are treated like kings!” (Exceptional food OR a chaotic kitchen ruled by demanding chefs)
- The princess, frustrated with palace life, sighed, “Everyone expects me to be graceful and composed. It’s hard work, this whole royalty thing.” (Being royal OR earning money through royal appearances)
- The king, after a long day of ruling, muttered, “Sometimes I just want to trade this crown for some peace and quiet. Is that too much to ask for a royalty?” (A royal person OR someone demanding special treatment)
- The queen, known for her love of reality TV, declared, “Tonight, we’re watching a show about beekeeping! It’s all the buzz among royalty these days.” (Popular with royals OR a show about queen bees)
- The prince, a tech enthusiast, announced, “I’m launching my own cryptocurrency! I’m calling it ‘Royal Coin’. You heard it here first, folks.” (Currency fit for royalty OR a terrible, self-aggrandizing idea for cryptocurrency)
- The princess, an animal lover, proclaimed, “My dogs are my everything! They may not have titles, but they’re the true royalty in this palace.” (Most important beings OR dogs acting entitled and spoiled)
- The king, after a hilarious mishap, chuckled, “Well, that was embarrassing. At least they’ll say I know how to keep things interesting, even if I am royalty.” (A member of royalty OR someone exceptionally entertaining)
Funny Royalty Tom Swifties: A Regal Laugh Riot
- “I’m being sued for copyright infringement by the Queen,” Tom said regally.
- “The prince is quite the eligible bachelor,” Tom said suitorly.
- “I’m exhausted from bowing all day,” Tom said kneelingly.
- “I think the Duke is trying to hide from his responsibilities,” Tom said duckingly.
- “Those crown jewels are heavily guarded,” Tom said securely.
- “The king’s speech was a bit long-winded,” Tom said reigningly.
- “Did you see the size of that feast?” Tom said royally.
- “The palace is decorated for the holidays,” Tom said ornamentably.
- “The queen’s portrait really captures her essence,” Tom said majestically.
- “I wonder what the royal family is having for dinner?” Tom said curious-ly.
- “The princess refused to marry the duke,” Tom said un-suitor-ably.
- “This crown is quite heavy!” Tom said burdenedly.
- “Don’t forget to curtsy!” Tom said bowingly.
- “I think I saw the Queen wave at me,” Tom said wavingly.
- “The king’s new carriage is absolutely stunning,” Tom said coach-ingly.
- “The princess is absolutely glowing today,” Tom said radiantly.
Knock-knock Jokes about Royalty Fit for a King (or Queen)
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up, the Queen’s calling!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Duchess. Duchess who? Duchess your window, the parade’s starting!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Throne. Throne who? Throne for a loop, weren’t you?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? King. King who? King me a song, you’re looking glum!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Scepter. Scepter who? Scepter laughing, you’ll make the Queen mad!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Coronet. Coronet who? Coronet get any funnier than this!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ermine. Ermine who? Ermine-ently funny, aren’t they?