100+ Running Jokes & Puns: You Can't Outrun the Humor!

Lace up your running shoes and get ready for the best list of running puns this side of the finish line! We’ve gathered the funniest, most clever jokes and puns about running, so whether you’re a seasoned marathoner or just enjoy a good 5k, this list will leave you feeling anything but winded. Did you know more people run to the bathroom during the average marathon than run the entire race? Now that’s motivation! Get ready for side-splitting humor that’s sure to keep your spirits high and your stride even faster.

Top Running Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Guaranteed To Make You Sprint

Why do marathoners do so well in arguments? They always go the extra mile.
I’m not a big fan of running. I find it quite jarring.
My friend started running because his doctor told him it was good for his heart. I guess he took it to heart.
Did you hear about the athlete who was running from his problems? He’s got a lot on his plate.
Why did the runner get lost? He took the wrong track.
Never challenge a runner to a spelling bee. They’re always running out of words.
I used to hate running, but then I got a new pair of shoes. Now I’m running late!
What does a nosey pepper do in a race? It gets jalapeno business!
Why are cross country courses so muddy? Nobody’s paving the way.
My shoelaces broke right before the race. Talk about bad timing.
Why did the runner bring a ladder to the half marathon? He wanted to reach peak performance!
How do you know a runner is telling you a story about their race? They go on and on and on…
What’s a runner’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat!
Running a marathon? That’s a tall order!
I love running, it’s my escape from reality. Well, that and my headphones.
Why don’t snails like marathons? They take too long! 😅

Funny Running Jokes With One Liner Clever Running Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny Running One-Liner Jokes: Get Your Daily Dose of Humor

I used to hate running, then I realized I was just bad at it. Turns out, I’m still bad at it, but at least now I’m running away from my problems!
Tried to explain to my friend that I’m addicted to running… he told me to jog on!
My doctor told me to take up running for my health. Now I have two problems: finding the time and outrunning the cops.
Why don’t they have zombie 5Ks? Because the fastest runners would just win brains… and bragging rights, I guess.
My friend asked me if I liked running during the day or night. I told him I prefer 5Ks.
Tried to sign up for a marathon, but they said all the slots were filled. Guess I’ll just have to run it on my treadmill – at least then I’ll be the first one home.
Heard they’re starting a new running group for procrastinators. They’re putting it off until next week.
People are always impressed when I tell them I run marathons. What they don’t know is it’s on my Netflix queue.
You know you’re a runner when your idea of a good time is pushing your body to its absolute limit… then signing up to do it again next week.
Took up running so I could finally outrun my problems. Turns out, they have amazing endurance!
They say running is good for the heart. So is pizza. Pizza it is!
Someone stole my jogging route! I’m absolutely devastated.
I’m training for a marathon. I eat pasta like it’s my job, and complain about how much I run like it’s my other job.
My running shoes were feeling a bit lonely… so I got them a pair of track cleats to hang out with.
I tried to have a serious conversation with my running partner about our pace. He just told me to “pick it up.” Some people have no sense of humor.
Always stretch before you run… unless you’re trying to impress that cute stranger on the track, then act like you’re a natural.
Just did a half marathon! I mean, I watched one on TV…still counts, right?

QnA Jokes & Puns about Running: Ready, Set, Laugh!

Q: Why did the runner bring a ladder to the track? A: They heard the competition was going to be steps ahead!
Q: What does a no-nonsense marathon runner eat before a race? A: Nothing. They run on pure grit!
Q: Did you hear about the 5k race where everyone got their times mixed up? A: It was utter chaos! People were really losing track of time.
Q: Why are pirates such bad runners? A: They always get lost at C!
Q: What do you call a group of runners who are also great singers? A: A running commentary!
Q: What did the ocean say to the runner? A: Nothing, it just waved!
Q: My friend said I’m not cut out for running marathons. A: What a mean thing to say! Did they give you the short end of the stick?
Q: What music do runners listen to? A: Anything they can get their feet on!
Q: What happened to the runner who was caught cheating? A: They were disqualified… and they had to walk home!
Q: Why did the snail win the race? A: He was taking it one step at a slime!
Q: Did you hear about the marathon that was sponsored by a dairy farm? A: It finished in a photo-whey finish!
Q: What do you call a group of marathoners who stick together? A: A running mate-rimony!
Q: Why didn’t the two shoes get along? A: They were always running each other down!
Q: What’s a runner’s favorite type of TV show? A: Anything but the news. They don’t like seeing a running commentary!

Dad Jokes about Running: They’re a Marathon, Not a Sprint

Why did the runner get a participation trophy? Because they said it was important to just keep running, so they did! Right out of the race!
I wanted to try trail running, but I heard it was a little… sketchy.
What do you call a track star who’s always forgetting things? Absent-Minded Miles!
What music do runners listen to before a big race? Anything they cantor-run away from!
My wife told me to take the running stroller for a spin. I’m getting dizzy just thinking about it!
I’ve decided to run a marathon every day this week… I’m calling it my “Week in the Life of My Feet.”
Why are runners always invited to parties? Because they’re really good at the electric slide! And the Cupid Shuffle.
What do you call a snail that’s really fast? A running gag!
I’m making a documentary about half-marathons. So far, it’s running a little short.
What’s a runner’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good beat…and you can really run to it!
Heard they’re starting to use robots in track races. Guess you could say the competition is really running up!
My friend wanted to start running, but he’s afraid of commitment. He doesn’t want to get tied down… to a training schedule.
I just saw a bunch of chickens running down the road. Must have been a poultry sprint in progress!
Why do runners enjoy doing 5Ks in the rain? They like to say things like, “This? This is nothing but a light drizzle!”
I tried to make reservations at a restaurant called “Catch of the Day”, but they said they were fully booked! Guess I’ll just have to run on over there!
You know what they say about running… It’s all fun and games, until someone sprints past you yelling, “On your left!”
How do runners change the TV channel? With the remote…control! They earned that comfy couch time!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Running: Ready, Set, Pun!

I don’t run from my problems. I run towards tacos. They’re much more satisfying.
My therapist told me to visualize my happy place while running. Turns out, it’s my couch.
Running: The fastest way to discover you forgot to stretch.
Half marathon? More like a whole lotta why am I doing this?
I’m not saying I’m slow, but I once got lapped by a snail wearing Crocs.
That awkward moment when you’re breathing harder than your heavy breathing playlist.
Sweat is my glitter. I’m basically a unicorn on the track.
5k? Easy. Getting motivated to train for a 5k? Now that’s a marathon.
I run so my dog thinks I’m going somewhere interesting and gets excited too.
Technically, walking is just really slow running. So I’m nailing this workout.
Finishing a race is 90% mental and 10% regretting the donut you ate this morning.
Remember, the first step to running a marathon is convincing yourself you like suffering.
The only “PR” I care about is peanut butter and jelly. But hey, nice try, marathon timer.
I’m not lost on this trail, I’m just taking the scenic route… directly back to my car.

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Running: For Those Who Like to Jog Their Memory and Their Feet

“A runner’s diet is 90% carbs and 10% convincing yourself it’s 90% carbs.”
“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him run a sub-three marathon. That’s just crazy talk.”
“Early to bed and early to rise makes a person wonder if they signed up for the right distance.”
“The early runner catches the worm… and then spends the next mile trying to figure out where to put it.”
“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket? Please, tell that to my marathon training plan.”
“A 5k is a marathon on a budget.”
“Slow and steady wins the race? Not unless you tripped the front-runner at mile 2.”
“If at first you don’t succeed, maybe you’re just not running fast enough.”
“The only thing harder than running a marathon is listening to someone talk about running a marathon.”
“There’s no “I” in team… unless you’re counting the ones muttering ‘I should have trained harder’ during a relay race.”
“If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. Especially if you think you can’t finish this half marathon.”
“Pain is temporary, but race medals last forever. And look shiny on your wall.”
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because you actually finished running that thing.”

Running Double Entendres Puns That Won’t Run Out

I told my friend I’m training for a marathon by running a 5k every day. He said that’s not how it works. I guess communication just isn’t his strong suit. (Running = physical activity vs. functioning properly)
My biggest fear about running my first half marathon? Getting a side stitch that’s actually Cupid’s arrow. (Running = participating in a race vs. experiencing unexpectedly)
This new energy gel tastes awful, but at least it’s good at its job. It’s been running for hours! (Running = providing sustained energy vs. physically moving quickly)
My favorite thing about running on the track? All the hurdles are metaphorical. (Running on a literal track vs. running = pursuing a goal)
My dog is a natural at long distances. Every time he sees a squirrel, he’s off and running… my phone bill. (Running = chasing vs. accumulating charges)
Tried to sign up for a marathon, but they’re all booked! Guess I’ll just have to run away from my problems instead. (Running in a race vs. running = avoiding)
My doctor said running is good for my heart. Good thing, because this 5k is giving me serious butterflies. (Physical exertion vs. experiencing nervousness/excitement)
I’m opening a bakery dedicated to runners. It’ll be called “Out of Breath, Out of Dough.” (Running out of breath vs. running out of money)
My friend said I should try trail running. I told him, “As long as it doesn’t involve running into my ex.” (Running on a trail vs. unexpectedly encountering someone)
I’m not sure what’s more impressive, my 5k time or how long I can make a tube of running gel last. (Running fast vs. running low on supplies)
They say running is a great way to clear your head. Works for me, I haven’t had a single good idea in miles. (Running clearing your mind vs. running = being tired/lacking focus)
My new workout plan involves running a mile for every piece of pizza I eat. It’s called the “Victuous Cycle.” (Running to counteract eating vs. a self-perpetuating cycle)
My coach told me I need to work on my stride. So I practiced running in different font sizes. (Stride in running form vs. stride = a typographical element)
I joined a running group for singles. Turns out, it’s all about endurance, not romance. It’s really hard to flirt while gasping for air. (Running as a hobby vs. running = operating/functioning)
I’m thinking of running for office. Mostly because I hear there’s a lot of running involved. (Running for political position vs. running = being busy/occupied)
My running shoes are so worn out, they’re practically vintage. They could tell stories… if they weren’t so out of breath. (Old running shoes vs. shoes being personified as being tired from running)
I’m not saying I’m slow, but I just saw a snail cross the finish line and yell, “Did somebody say my pace was running a bit behind?”(Running being physically slow vs. a race running late)

Funny Running Tom Swifties: On the Fast Track to Humor

“I think I need new shoes,” Tom said solely after the run.
“I can’t believe I forgot to track my mileage!” Tom exclaimed forgetfully.
“This uphill climb is brutal,” Tom gasped windedly.
“I’m signing up for the half marathon,” Tom declared distantly.
“I just need to catch my breath,” Tom wheezed airily.
“Watch out for that puddle!” Tom cautioned splashingly.
“My legs feel like lead,” Tom said heavily.
“This track seems a bit short,” Tom remarked lappedly.
“I think I tied my shoelaces together,” Tom tripped knottily.
“This race is taking forever!” Tom complained longingly.
“I’m starving after that 5k,” Tom said hungrily.
“These shorts are riding up,” Tom chafed irritably.
“I can’t believe I came in last place,” Tom sighed defeatedly.
“My calves are so tight,” Tom said strainedly.
“The finish line is finally in sight!” Tom shouted exhaustedly.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Running: Get Ready to Groan

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Running. Running who? Running out of breath just thinking about all this running!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Marathon. Marathon who? Marathon this later, gotta go for a run!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Water. Water who? Water you waiting for? Let’s run!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Track. Track who? Track-ing my mileage is making me hungry!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Five. Five who? Five kilometers is a great warm-up, don’t you think?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pace. Pace who? Pace yourself, we’ve got a long run ahead!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Medal. Medal who? Medal you win, I’ll be cheering you on!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Finish. Finish who? Finish line is in sight! You got this!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shoe. Shoe who? Shoe-per excited for the big race!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Treadmill. Treadmill who? Treadmill-ing away the hours, one step at a time!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Trail. Trail who? Trail mix? Yes, please! That run made me hungry.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sprint. Sprint who? Sprint to the door, I think you have another runner friend here!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Half. Half who? Half marathon? More like a whole lotta fun!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Runner. Runner who? Runner up gets a head start! See ya!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Energy. Energy who? Energy you have for running is truly inspiring!