115+ Shaving Jokes & Puns: You’ll Be Razor Sharp for These!

Get ready to sharpen your sense of humor because we’re diving into the best list of shaving puns and jokes this side of your barber’s shop! If you’re looking for clever and positively funny humor, you’ve come to the right place. Did you know that, on average, a man will spend 3,350 hours shaving in his lifetime? Well, we aim to make at least a few of those hours more enjoyable with these hilarious razor-sharp witticisms. Prepare to laugh!

Top Shaving Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Guaranteed to Cut You Up

1. Shaving: It’s all smooth sailing until you hit a snag.
2. I used to hate shaving, but then it grew on me.
3. My shaving cream’s instructions said “lather, rinse, repeat.” My wallet’s feeling pretty light.
4. What do you call a sheep that shaves? A baa-d idea.
5. Shaving: The only time I’m ever cutting edge.
6. Just saw a barber give a sheep a shave. Looks like he’s pulling the wool over our eyes.
7. My electric razor died mid-shave. Talk about a close shave!
8. I tried dry-shaving once. Once.
9. What does a ghost shave with? A sh-boo-fer!
10. My facial hair grows so fast, I swear it needs a speed limit.
11. Shaving brushes: Because beards deserve a little pampering too.
12. Why did the barber win an award? He was a cut above the rest!
13. Life is like shaving—one wrong move and you’re in hot water.
14. My shaving cream is scented “fresh linen.” My bathroom now smells like a laundromat.
15. Shaving: The art of removing hair by millimeters and cursing in four-letter words.

Funny Shaving One-Liner Jokes To Cut You Up

1. I tried shaving with a cheese grater once, but I realized I was really pushing my Gruyere luck.
2. I told my barber I wanted a close shave, he said, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to broadcast it.”
3. My electric razor broke, but I’m not too upset, I’ve been meaning to embrace the stubble rebellion.
4. I used to shave with a straight razor, but then I realized I wasn’t edgy enough.
5. My beard’s so thick, when I shave, it looks like I just mowed the lawn.
6. My girlfriend loves me for my beard, but I suspect she’s just saving money on shaving cream.
7. Shaving cream manufacturers aren’t fooling anyone. We all know it’s just whipped disappointment.
8. If you want a close shave, don’t ask your significant other for help… unless you really like hospital food.
9. Found a talking razor in the bathroom this morning – turns out it was just my reflection being blunt again.
10. I asked the barber for a “Van Gogh,” he said, “Say no more.”
11. My resolution was to shave every day this year, but I’m already two months behind. I guess you could say I’m really lagging.
12. Found an old razor in my grandfather’s attic, it said “vintage” on the box. I’m pretty sure he meant “vin-used.”
13. Apparently, shaving brushes are made from squirrel fur… talk about a close shave!
14. I used to hate shaving, but then it grew on me.
15. Shaving: the art of removing hair from one part of your body to another.
16. My shaving cream claims to be “extra lubricating.” Sounds more like a personal problem to me.

QnA Jokes & Puns about Shaving: Sharp Humor for Smooth Minds

1. Q: What did the razor say to the face? A: “Hey there, smooth skin. I’ve been looking forward to shaving all day!”
2. Q: Why did the man bring a ladder to shave? A: He wanted to reach new heights of cleanliness!
3. Q: What’s a sheep’s favorite shaving cream? A: Shear & Smooth!
4. Q: How do bees shave their faces? A: With tiny honeycombs!
5. Q: What’s a lumberjack’s least favorite part about shaving? A: Razor burn! (Get it? Because they work with fire? … Okay, I’ll shave it for next time.)
6. Q: Did you hear about the barber who gave free haircuts for a week? A: He was shaving his expenses!
7. Q: Why don’t they have barbers in the desert? A: Because they only give shair-cuts!
8. Q: What’s a detective’s favorite type of razor? A: One that helps him shave seconds off his investigation!
9. Q: What happens when a sheep gets a bad haircut? A: They have to live with it for shear shame!
10. Q: Why did the sheep cross the road? A: To get to the baa-baa shop for a shave!
11. Q: What do you call a sheep that runs away from the shearer? A: A baa-d influence!
12. Q: Did you hear about the sheep who went to the spa? A: It got a close shave and a mud baa-th!
13. Q: What’s a mathematician’s favorite part about shaving? A: Calculating the angles for the perfect close shave!
14. Q: How do ghosts like their facial hair? A: Spirited away!
15. Q: Why don’t astronauts need shaving cream in space? A: Their hair is already lightyears away!
16. Q: Why did the snowman refuse to shave? A: He wanted to keep his winter coat!

Dad Jokes about Shaving: Guaranteed to Tickle Your Funny Bone

1. I told my son to be careful shaving this morning. He said, “Don’t worry, I’m shaving the relationship between risk and reward.”
2. My wife asked me to pick up some shaving cream on the way home. I replied, “Sure, what’s it shave for?”
3. Tried a new brand of shaving cream this morning called “Silence of the Lambs.” My face hasn’t looked this smooth in years… I think it enjoyed the lotion.
4. I used to hate shaving, but then it grew on me.
5. What did the razor say to the face? “Let’s get this over with.”
6. Why don’t they have shaving cream at the library? They’re afraid it would be overdue.
7. You know what’s weird about shaving mirrors? They always show you the opposite of what you’re doing.
8. My son asked me if I preferred electric shavers or razors. I told him “To be honest, I don’t discriminate – I judge every shaver on a case-by-case basis.”
9. I just bought a solar-powered razor… It takes a little longer, but it gives such a clean shave.
10. Why did the man put shaving cream on his shoes? He wanted a close shave!
11. Shaving is so repetitive. It’s the same old story, day after day.
12. My electric razor is so smart, it knows when I’m about to trim my beard and charges an arm and a leg for the service.
13. Someone stole all the razors from my bathroom. I have a sinking suspicion who did it.
14. My wife said my beard was getting out of hand. I told her “Don’t worry, it still has a chin to hold onto.”
15. Why is shaving in the dark a bad idea? Because then you wouldn’t know who you’re shaving!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Shaving: That’ll Make You Laugh Out Loud

1. “Shaving: The art of transforming from a mountain man to a meeting man in ten minutes or less.”
2. “I don’t always shave, but when I do, I find a way to cut myself. It’s like a talent.”
3. “My love life is like my leg hair after shaving – gone in a flash and back again before I know it.”
4. “They say good things come to those who wait. I’m still waiting for the day I can shave with my eyes closed and not end up looking like I lost a fight with a cheese grater.”
5. “Shaving cream: Proof that you can have a foam party for one.”
6. “Just saw a commercial for a ‘revolutionary new razor’. Like, guys, it removes hair, it’s not splitting atoms.”
7. “Life is like shaving – you think you’ve got a handle on it, then you get a nick.”
8. “My bank account after buying razors: Smoother than my legs.”
9. “Found an extra razor blade in the back of the drawer. This counts as vintage right?”
10. “I don’t need a significant other. I need a robot who can shave my legs for me.”
11. “Shaving is the closest I get to a blood sport.”
12. “Whoever invented shaving clearly never experienced the joy of a good beard scratch on a cold winter morning.”
13. “Just shaved and moisturized. Feeling like a brand new human. This feeling will last approximately 45 minutes.”
14. “Dear facial hair, it was fun while it lasted but rent is due and you gotta go.”
15. “They say money can’t buy happiness. They’ve obviously never experienced the joy of a fresh razor blade.”
16. “Shaving: Because adulting means pretending I don’t like being a hairy beast.”
17. “That moment you realize you forgot to shave one leg. The struggle is real, people.”

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Shaving: A Cut Above the Rest

1. A razor in the hand is worth two in the shower. (Because you can actually reach this one!)
2. Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man stubble-free but bleary-eyed.
3. Don’t shave an angry man’s beard… or lend him your good razor.
4. Shaving cream: Proof that a lather is as good as a mother’s love… almost.
5. The early bird gets the worm, but the well-shaven man gets the date.
6. Give a man a razor, and he’ll be clean-shaven for a day. Teach a man to shave in the dark, and he’ll be married for life.
7. A watched pot never boils, and a watched mirror makes you miss a spot.
8. Patience is a virtue, especially when replacing your razor blade.
9. You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs, and you can’t get a close shave without a little bloodshed.
10. The grass is always smoother on the other side of the razor.
11. A beard may be the sign of a wise man, but a smooth shave means you’re ready for anything.
12. Behind every great man is a great woman. Behind every clean-shaven man is a sharp razor… and probably an even sharper woman.
13. A dull razor is a man’s worst enemy, except for maybe a dull razor blade subscription service.
14. Life is like shaving: it’s all about finding the right angle. And avoiding nicks, of course.
15. He who hesitates while shaving is lost. He who doesn’t hesitate… probably needs stitches.

Shaving Double Entendres Puns: A Cut Above the Rest

1. I told my barber I wanted my beard shaving off gradually. He said, “Sure, how about one side at a time?”
2. My girlfriend told me she finds men with facial hair attractive. Guess I’ll be shaving that thought.
3. Started a new job at a lumberyard. Turns out they lied about the benefits package. No dental, no vision, and worst of all, no shaving cream.
4. Just saw a man shaving in his car at a red light. I thought to myself, “Wow, talk about close shaves!”
5. What do you call a sheep that’s learned to shave? A baaaaaaad idea.
6. My wife hates it when I sing in the shower, especially when I’m shaving. She says it’s too much of a close shave.
7. I used to be a lumberjack, but I quit. Couldn’t stand all the shaving. Plus, I couldn’t grow a beard to save my life.
8. My friend claims he can predict the future while shaving. He’s got the cleanest face-palm technique you’ve ever seen.
9. New dating app just for bearded men is failing miserably. Turns out none of them are interested in shaving.
10. Just bought a vintage razor from the 1920s. It claimed to give the closest shave of all time. Turns out it was just the Great Depression.
11. I’m thinking of opening a barbershop specializing in shaving animals. I think I’ll call it “The Furry Godmother.”
12. A barber offered to shave five dollars off my bill if I let him practice his new beard design. I told him, “Hey, at least take me out for dinner first!”
13. My grandpa says he’s been shaving for over 70 years! Must be why he looks so smooth… and incredibly tired.
14. What’s the difference between a lumberjack and a bad barber? One shaves trees for a living, the other makes a living off close shaves.
15. Tired of all these “How to Shave” tutorials online. I mean, come on, it’s not rocket surgery! It’s rocket science! Those razors are sharp!

Funny Shaving Tom Swifties for a Close Shave

1. “I just shaved off my beard,” Tom said barefacedly.
2. “This razor is incredibly dull!” Tom said bluntly.
3. “Oops, I cut myself shaving,” Tom said bloodthirstily.
4. “I prefer a straight razor,” Tom said cuttingly.
5. “Shaving cream always seems to foam up so quickly!” Tom said rashly.
6. “I got a great deal on this electric razor,” Tom said shockingly.
7. “I always use aftershave lotion,” Tom said smoothly.
8. “My razor needs new blades,” Tom said edgily.
9. “This shaving cream smells like sandalwood,” Tom said aromatically.
10. “I never shave in the morning,” Tom said hazily.
11. “Time for my annual shave!” Tom said once-over-lightly.
12. “Be careful not to cut your adams apple,” Tom said throatily.
13. “My skin feels so smooth after I shave,” Tom said feelingly.
14. “I’m going to join the beard club,” Tom said unshavenly.
15. “This shaving brush is so soft,” Tom said bristly.
16. “I think I’ll grow a goatee,” Tom said chin-fully.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Shaving for a Close Shave

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shaving. Shaving who? Shaving you a good time!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up, I just nicked myself shaving!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Razor. Razor who? Razor hand if you hate shaving in the morning!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shave. Shave who? Shave and a haircut…ten cents! Get it? It’s a classic!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stubble. Stubble who? Stubble thinking about growing a beard, it’s too much shaving!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Foam. Foam who? Foam home from work and the first thing I do is shave!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Blade. Blade who? Blade Runner…or, someone who shaves a lot. What were you expecting?
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Chin. Chin who? Chin up! At least you have a reason to shave!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Smooth. Smooth who? Smooth operator, smooth shaver!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lather. Lather who? Lather, rinse, and repeat… isn’t that what they tell you to do when you shave?
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sharp. Sharp who? Be sharp, shave smart!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? After. After who? After you’ve finished shaving, can I borrow your razor?
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Close. Close who? Close shave, that was! Almost cut myself!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Whisk. Whisk who? Whisk-ers! That’s what you shave, silly!