Shirt Happens: 230+ Jokes & Puns to Wear with Style
Are you ready to laugh your sleeves off? Look no further, because we’ve hand-picked the best shirt jokes and puns that are guaranteed to make you crack a smile. From clever wordplay to hilarious one-liners, this list of shirt humor is perfect for kids (and adults with a good sense of humor). So go ahead, loosen your collar and get ready for a positive overload of humor – because these shirt jokes will have you rolling on the floor with laughter!
Shirt-ly Funny: Our Top Picks for Hilarious ‘Shirt’ Puns & Jokes!
- “What does a shirt say when it’s feeling down? I’m feeling unbuttoned!”
- “Why did the t-shirt go to therapy? It had some deep-seated wrinkles to work through.”
- “What do you call a shirt that’s always causing trouble? A button-pusher.”
- “Why did the shirt go to the gym? To get more abs-olutely fabulous!”
- “What did the shirt say when it got a hole? ‘That’s just a tearable situation.'”
- “Why did the shirt get arrested? It was caught loitering without a collar.”
- “What do you call a shirt that’s always on the go? A traveling t-shirt.”
- “Why couldn’t the shirt go on vacation? It was all out of travel-sleeve allowance.”
- “What did the shirt say when it got a stain? ‘This is just my tie-dyin’ inside.'”
- “What did the shirt say when it won the lottery? ‘I’m going on a clothes shopping spree!'”
- “Why was the shirt rejected by its crush? It just couldn’t get a button to click.”
- “What’s a shirt’s favorite dessert? Button-up cake.”
- “Why did the shirt break up with its significant other? The relationship just wasn’t iron-clad.”
- “What do you call a shirt that’s always causing drama? A button fly on the wall.”
- “Why did the shirt feel underdressed at the party? It couldn’t find its tietiquette.”
- “What did the shirt say to the pants? ‘I’ve got you covered, bro.'”
- “What’s a shirt’s favorite game? Button-up, of course!”
- “Why did the shirt feel insecure? It just couldn’t seem to cuff up.”
- “What did the shirt say when it got a compliment? ‘Aww, shucks. I’m blushing fabric-ciously.'”
- “Why did the shirt go to the doctor? It was feeling a little unbuttoned.”

Get Your Daily Dose of Laughter with our ‘Funny Shirt’ One-Liner Jokes!
- I got a shirt with a picture of a shirt on it, but it was too shirt for me to wear.
- The shirt was so soft, it felt like I was wearing a cloud, but then I realized it was just a cotton poly blend.
- I tried to buy a shirt with my favorite dad joke on it, but they were all dad cults.
- My friend’s shirt said “I’m with stupid” with an arrow pointing up, but he was wearing it backwards.
- I saw someone wearing a shirt that said “Property of NASA,” and now I understand why space is so expensive.
- I found a shirt that reads “Don’t drink the water” in every language except Russian.
- My “I hate Mondays” shirt doesn’t work on Tuesdays either.
- I bought a “Caution: Contents Under Pressure” shirt, but my mom said I had to take it off before I exploded.
- I saw a guy wearing a shirt that said “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right,” and he was arguing about it.
- The “World’s Best Lawyer” shirt was the perfect gift for my friend who can never make a decision.
- Every time I wear my “I’m with awkward” shirt, I end up standing next to my ex.
- My “Lose weight, ask me how” shirt is getting tight, maybe I should stop eating while wearing it.
- I got a new shirt with a picture of a pickle on it, it’s kind of a big dill.
- My “It’s not delivery, it’s DiGiorno” shirt didn’t impress my date at the Italian restaurant.
- I saw a guy wearing a shirt that said “I’m not lazy, I’m just energy efficient,” and I’m starting to see the appeal.
- My “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good” shirt is my go-to for family reunions.
- I tried to surprise my wife with a shirt that had a picture of her favorite flower, but it was a lily bit too small.
- I saw a shirt with the phrase “I’m the black sheep of the family,” but it was white.
- The “I don’t discriminate, I hate everyone” shirt speaks to my soul.
- I wanted a shirt that said “I run on coffee and sarcasm,” but all they had was a “decaf and dad jokes” option.
QnA Jokes & Puns: Taking a Stab at Humor with ‘Shirt’ly Puns
- Why did the shirt go on a diet? Because it wanted to button up.
- How does a shirt get rid of wrinkles? By hanging out with a dryer.
- What did the shirt say to the pants? Button it up, we’re in this together!
- Why did the shirt cross the road? To get to the laundromat.
- How many buttons does it take to close a shirt? None, if you use a zipper.
- What do you call a shirt that’s also a superhero? A cape-tivating shirt.
- How can you tell if a shirt is shy? It never buttons up.
- Why did the shirt go to the doctor? It had a button allergy.
- What did the shirt say when it won an award? I’m so flattered, I’m literally buttoned up.
- How do you make a shirt smile? Put a couple of buttons on it.
- What do you call a shirt that’s always on time? Punct-tee-al.
- Why did the shirt refuse to go skydiving? It was afraid of collar space.
- How many buttons does it take to start a fashion revolution? Just one.
- What did one shirt say to the other? “I’ve gotta hand it to you, you’re looking sharp today.”
- Why did the shirt need therapy? It had too many buttons to deal with.
- What do you call a shirt that can’t keep a secret? A blabber-button.
- Why did the shirt feel lonely? It was a lone-sleeved shirt.
- How does a shirt greet its friends? With open arms… er, sleeves.
- What’s a shirt’s favorite type of music? Buttoned-up pop.
- Why did the shirt go into a cocoon? It wanted to come out as a button-fly butterfly.
From Hilarious to T-Shirt-al: Dad Jokes about Shirts
- Why did the shirt go to the bar? To get a round collar!
- What do you call a shirt that’s always cold? A button-up!
- How does a shirt greet its friends? With a sleeve-der hug!
- What’s a shirt’s favorite type of music? Poplin!
- Why do shirts make good detectives? They have collars for clues!
- Why did the shirt go to the doctor? It was feeling unbuttoned!
- How does a shirt decorate for Christmas? With a holly collar!
- What did the shirt say to the iron? Don’t worry, I’ll press on!
- Why did the shirt and pants break up? They couldn’t button things up!
- How does a shirt like its coffee? Decollated!
- Why was the shirt embarrassed at the party? It was the only one wearing a t-shirt!
- How does a shirt get to work? It buttons up and takes the coat-tie!
- What’s a shirt’s favorite type of board game? Button, Button, Who’s Got the Button?
- Why did the shirt go on strike? It couldn’t handle any more ironing demands!
- How does a shirt like its eggs? Overeasy on the c-collar!
- What’s a shirt’s favorite workout? Button-ups!
- Why did the shirt refuse to change? It liked itself just the way it was!
- How does a shirt apologize? It curties!
- Why did the shirt get in trouble at school? It was caught with its tag showing!
- How does a shirt send a message? Through its c-palm!
Laugh Your Way into Style: Funny Quotes about Shirts
- “I have a closet full of shirts, but I still wear the same three over and over again. Fashionable or lazy? You decide.”
- “I don’t always wear a shirt, but when I do, it’s usually backwards.”
- “You know you’re an adult when you’re excited about getting a new shirt for your birthday.”
- “I wear my heart on my sleeve, and my food stains on my shirt.”
- “My shirts seem to have a magnetic attraction to spaghetti sauce.”
- “Wearing a shirt with a pocket is like having your very own kangaroo pouch.”
- “I have a strict ‘one shirt per day’ policy, unless there’s a spill or an armpit emergency.”
- “Shirts with sequins are like flirtation enablers. Don’t wear one unless you’re ready to be hit on.”
- “Nothing says ‘adulting’ like buying a quality shirt just for work meetings.”
- “I wish my shirt had a built-in straw, so I could casually sip my drink without having to lift it.”
- “Is it just me, or does every workout shirt feel more like a punishment than motivation?”
- “Ladies, the key to a man’s heart is through his laundry. Fold his shirts and you have him forever.”
- “The laundry pile is a never-ending cycle of shirts trying to escape.”
- “I feel like my shirt is trying to tell me something with its lack of buttons.”
- “Forget ‘Netflix and Chill,’ I’m all about ‘Sweatpants and Oversized Shirts.'”
- “My shirts might be wrinkled, but at least I ironed out my attitude.”
- “A shirt that says ‘I woke up like this’ usually means I woke up four hours early to look this good.”
- “Why wear a plain shirt when I can have one with my face all over it? #selfpromotion”
- “My dry cleaner knows my shirts better than my therapist.”
- “I would love to wear a shirt with a witty quote, but I don’t trust myself not to spill something on it.”
Chuckling at Chafing: Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Shirts
- A clean shirt is a sign of a dirty mind, but a dirty shirt is just a sign of a busy schedule.
- You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few buttons.
- A wrinkle in your shirt is a wrinkle in your day.
- The grass is always greener on the collared side.
- A shirt is like a mullet – business in the front, party in the back.
- Don’t cry over a stained shirt, just perform a tie-dye miracle.
- A shirt without wrinkles is a shirt without character.
- The early bird gets the best selection of shirts at the thrift store.
- A shirt on your back is worth two in the hamper.
- Good things come to those who iron their own clothes.
- A shirt can be tight without being wrong.
- You can’t judge a man by his shirt, but you can judge him by how long he’s willing to wear it.
- A shirt can hide a multitude of spilled food.
- You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him wear a shirt.
- A good shirt can be the key to a great first impression – or it could be the reason for a last impression.
- When life gives you laundry, make sure your shirt is inside out.
- The best things in life are free – but a good shirt will still cost you.
- You can never have too many shirts, said no one who’s ever done laundry.
- A wrinkle today is a headache tomorrow when you have to iron it out.
- It’s not the shirt that makes the man, it’s the man who chooses to dress like a lumberjack on casual Friday.
Shake up Your Wardrobe with These Shirt-tastic Double Entendres Puns
- “I wear the pants, but you can wear my shirt.”
- “Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m in a shirt pile.”
- “I’m not just a pretty face, I come with a shirt too.”
- “I’m not arguing, I’m just helping you take your shirt off.”
- “I like my shirts like I like my coffee…strong and always on my chest.”
- “I may not be a genie, but I can make your shirt disappear.”
- “I’m a shirt connoisseur…I have one for every occasion.”
- “I like my shirts how I like my humor…dry and straight to the point.”
- “I didn’t choose the shirt life, the shirt life chose me.”
- “My shirt game is strong, just like my coffee.”
- “I don’t always wear a shirt, but when I do, it’s usually on backwards.”
- “I may not have a six-pack, but at least my shirt does.”
- “Shirts and tacos are a lot alike…they both come in soft or crunchy.”
- “I may not have my life together, but at least my shirt is on right-side out.”
- “I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman wearing the same shirt?”
- “My shirt may say ‘Netflix and chill’, but I actually just want to watch TV and eat pizza.”
- “My shirt may be wrinkled, but my sense of humor is always ironed.”
- “My shirt may have holes in it, but that just means it’s well-loved.”
- “I always wear my heart on my sleeve…and a funny slogan on my shirt.”
- “My shirt may be plain white, but my personality is anything but boring.”
Get the Latest Fashion Sense – Recursive Puns about Shirts!
- What did the tailor say when he saw the endless pile of dirty shirts? “Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me-shirting!”
- Why did the shirt go to therapy? Because it had too many unresolved pre-collar issues.
- I once had a shirt made out of recycled materials, but it kept repeating the same joke over and over again. It was a rep-tee-tive shirt.
- If a shirt is too big for you, is it considered a grand-shirt?
- My friend told me I should take off my shirt because I was turning into a philosopher. I replied, “But if I take off my shirt, then I’ll be ‘shirtless’!”
- What do you call a shirt that’s also a fashion guru? A trend-setter!
- I tried to make an origami shirt, but it was a flop-fold!
- I asked my shirt why it always looks so creased. It said, “I have no idea, I’m just trying to iron out my issues.”
- What do you call a shirt that’s always late? A procrastin-shirt!
- I told my shirt a joke, but it didn’t laugh. It said it’s seen it a million times before.
- Why did the shirt go to the doctor? Because it had a case of unbuttoned-buttonitis.
- The tailor was on a roll and started making shirts with jokes printed on them. You could say he had a pun-dominated market.
- What do you call a shirt that likes to party? A wild-shirt!
- I tried to iron my shirt, but it kept making up excuses. I guess it just hates to be pressed for time!
- Did you hear about the shirt that won a game of chess? It was a check-mate tee!
- My dad always wears Hawaiian shirts. I guess you could say he’s plaid-shirted for life.
- Why was the shirt afraid of commitment? Because it couldn’t handle the collar-cuffing!
- I never trust my shirt’s measurements. It’s been known to stretch the truth.
- I asked my shirt what its favorite food was. It said “p-tee-zer pizza”!
- The tailor had to close his business because his employees kept making shady deals under-the-table-shirt!
Life’s Too Short for Plain Shirts, Tom Swifties.
- “I can’t believe I accidentally shrunk my ‘shirt’,” said Tom, fittingly.
- “This ‘shirt’ really brings out the stripes in my personality,” Tom attested.
- “I stole this ‘shirt’ from my brother,” Tom confessed, forcibly.
- “I feel so underdressed in this plain ‘shirt’,” Tom pretended, ironically.
- “I only wear nerdy ‘shirts’,” Tom reasoned intellectually.
- “I’m never taking off this ‘shirt’,” Tom insisted, adamantly.
- “I traded my favorite ‘shirt’ for a sandwich,” Tom joked, cheesily.
- “I can’t wear this ‘shirt’ again, it’s just too fa-fa-fa flashy,” Tom stuttered.
- “I feel like a million bucks in this designer ‘shirt’,” Tom bragged, financially.
- “My ‘shirt’ is perfect for all occasions,” Tom boasted, fittingly.
- “I spilled ketchup on my white ‘shirt’,” Tom admitted, unapologetically.
- “I love my ‘shirt’ collection, it’s my pride and apparel,” Tom punned.
- “I’ll take this ‘shirt’ to the grave,” Tom declared, dramatically.
- “I’m not feeling very shirt-ical today,” Tom moaned, sartorially.
- “I always wear an undershirt, just to be on the safe ‘shirt’,” Tom quipped.
- “This ‘shirt’ makes me look buff,” Tom flexed, delusionally.
- “I’m the king of the t-shirts,” Tom bragged, royally.
- “This ‘shirt’ brings out the green in my eyes,” Tom pointed out, colorfully.
- “I’m a man of few words and many ‘shirts’,” Tom stated, succinctly.
- “I can’t wear this ‘shirt’ in public, I’ll be the butt of everyone’s jokes,” Tom joked, cheekily.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirts who? Shirts you glad I didn’t say banana?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt is getting stretched out from all these knock-knock jokes!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt happens when you accidentally shrink your favorite t-shirt in the dryer.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt if you’re sure you want to hear another knock-knock joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt-pocket change for a funny guy like me!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt-ing is caring, so here’s another joke for you!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt-stains are a fashion statement, right?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt-ly you’re not tired of these jokes yet!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt I know this is a funny joke, but let’s not get buttoned up over it.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt-usly, if you don’t laugh at this one, I’ll feel like a real-tee.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt-ion me, I think I’ve heard this one before.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt-al defeat if you don’t admit that was a good one.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt-ainly not wearing a shirt is the best way to do laundry.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt-ainly not leaving the house without my lucky shirt!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt I be telling these jokes if they weren’t funny?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt-abulous, now let’s keep this joke streak going!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt-astic day to brighten someone’s mood with a joke!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt-and-sandwich is my favorite lunch, but shirt-and-pants is a fashion disaster.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt-come, let’s share a good laugh over this joke.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt-tainly not forgetting to put on my lucky shirt on game day!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shirt. Shirt who? Shirt-titude is everything, so let’s have a positive outlook on life and tell more jokes!
Shirting the Issue: Hilarious Malapropisms for Fashion Faux Pas!
- “I got this new sleep ‘shirt’ at the store yesterday, it’s so comfortable!”
- “Did you see that guy’s ‘shirtbulance’ costume? Hilarious!”
- “Sorry, I can’t hear you over the loud ‘shirtles’ fan.”
- “I accidentally got mustard on my Sunday ‘shirt’ while eating hot dogs at the game.”
- “I can’t believe I forgot to pack my swim ‘shirt’ for the beach trip.”
- “I saw a ‘shirthouse’ sale downtown, we have to go!”
- “I can’t decide which ‘shirtmark’ to wear to the party tonight.”
- “Did you see those new ‘shirttails’ at the designer store? They’re so trendy.”
- “I spilled coffee on my favorite ‘shirtlettuce’ this morning, so frustrating!”
- “I think your ‘shirtbridge’ is too low-cut for the office, maybe wear a camisole underneath.”
- “I’m going to the gym, gotta make sure my ‘shirthands’ are ready for that workout!”
- “The wedding theme is white ‘shirtcasual,’ what does that even mean?”
- “My mom always used to say, ‘cleanliness is next to ‘shirtliness’.”
- “Do you like my new ‘shirtmit’? I think it’s a perfect autumn color.”
- “I can’t believe he’s wearing a Hawaiian ‘shirthole’ to a job interview.”
- “Why are you wearing a ‘shirthammer’ to bed? It’s freezing!”
- “I may be single, but I have a whole closet full of ‘shirtrage’.”
- “I’m so excited for the ‘shirtacious’ concert next week, it’s going to be epic!”
- “I got these adorable ‘shirtmuffins’ for my daughter, they’re so cute.”
- “I tried to iron my ‘shirtdrobe,’ but I accidentally burned a hole in it.”
Switching Stripes: Spoonerisms about Shirts
- “Sharty Dirt”
- “Hurt Shackle”
- “Dirty Shirties”
- “Skirt Hirt”
- “Shorty Drip”
- “Turtle Shit”
- “Firty Skirt”
- “Shiny Dirt”
- “Shitty Dart”
- “Girly Shirt”
- “Bird Shite”
- “Mirthy Skirt”
- “Shirky Dite”
- “Cheeky Skirt”
- “Squirmy Shirt”
- “Dusty Shart”
- “Throbbing Shirt”
- “Flirty Skirt”
- “Shitty Short”
- “Sweaty Shirt”
Buttoning Up: The Finest Shirt Puns!
Well folks, that’s a wrap on our collection of shirt puns! We hope you enjoyed our play on words and had a good chuckle along the way. And if you’re still craving more jokes, why not check out our other pun and joke posts? We guarantee they’ll have you giggling like a schoolgirl in no time. Thanks for reading and remember, always wear your punny-est shirt with pride!