230+ Hilarious Short Jokes & Puns: Sizing up the Fun!

Welcome to our list of short jokes and puns, perfect for providing a quick dose of humor to anyone in need! We’ve compiled the best and funniest puns about being short – though we promise they’re all long on laughs. These clever jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face and brighten up your day. So without further ado, here’s our list of short jokes and puns for kids and adults alike. Get ready to laugh your way through this pint-sized collection of humor!

Putting the ‘Ha!’ in ‘Short’ Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Top Picks

1. Why was the short wizard always in a hurry? Because he had a small spell check!
2. I tried to come up with a pun about short jokes, but it was too brief.
3. Why couldn’t the short person reach the top shelf? Because they were vertically challenged!
4. Did you hear about the short fortune teller? He was a small medium at large.
5. Why did the short robot go on a diet? Because he wanted to reduce his circuit size!
6. How do you make a short story long? Add more details, of course!
7. I told my small friend not to worry about his height. After all, good things come in small packages.
8. What do you call a short thief? A small-scale criminal.
9. Why don’t short people need umbrellas in the rain? Because they’re already under the weather.
10. I have a fear of speed bumps. But, you know, it’s a small price to pay.
11. A short person walks into a bar and orders a short beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we only have tall beers.” The person responds, “Well, that’s just short-sighted.”
12. What did the short person say when they got a gift? “Well, it’s not the size of the gift that counts, it’s the thought that counts.”
13. Why did the short basketball player keep getting rejected by teams? Because they said he didn’t measure up.
14. Did you hear about the short broom? It’s sweeping the nation.
15. Why did the short comedian always bomb on stage? Because their jokes were too brief.
16. What do short pirates wear? A high-brief patch.
17. Why did the short horse get a day job? Because he needed more stable income.
18. I tried to buy a new car, but the salesperson said it wasn’t suitable for someone of my short stature. I told him, “That’s just small-minded.”
19. Why did the short ice cream salesman get fired? He didn’t measure up to the job.
20. What did the short tennis player say to their opponent? “I may be small, but I can still serve up aces!”

Laugh Out Loud with These Hilarious ‘Funny ‘Short’ One-Liner Jokes!

1. I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure.
2. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
3. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – I just can’t seem to put it down.
4. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
5. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
6. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
7. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
8. I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
9. I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.
10. The rotation of earth really makes my day.
11. If towels could tell jokes, they would probably have a dry sense of humor.
12. The road to success is always under construction.
13. I used to work at a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
14. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
15. I wish I could mute people in real life like I can on Zoom calls.
16. A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says, “Make me one with everything.”
17. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
18. I used to hate math, but then I realized decimals have a point.
19. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
20. I always wanted to be a procrastinator, but I never got around to it.

Q: Why was the short comedian’s punchline so effective? A: Because it was straight to the point!

1. Why did the short person go to the chiropractor? To get their spine adjusted to their height!
2. How do you break up with a short person? You just give them a little space!
3. What do you call a group of short people playing card games? A low-deck club!
4. Why are short people so good at limbo? They’re always under pressure!
5. What did the short person say when they couldn’t reach the cookies on the top shelf? “Looks like it’s just not my height!”
6. How does a short person pick up someone at a bar? They just give them a little lift!
7. What do you call a short person in a hot air balloon? A micro-balloon!
8. Why was the short person afraid of heights? They were afraid of looking down on others!
9. What do you call a short person who always tells jokes? A pun-dit!
10. Why did the short person go to the amusement park alone? They were too short to ride any of the rides with their friends!
11. How do short people greet each other? With a high-five!
12. What do you call a short person in a tall person’s body? A misplaced dwarf!
13. Why couldn’t the short person become a doctor? They lacked the height requirements to be a graduate!
14. How do short people fit in on job interviews? They just give shorter answers!
15. What do you call a tall person who constantly hangs out with short people? A giant among men!
16. Why did the short person get kicked out of clown school? They couldn’t reach the clown’s shoes!
17. How do you know when a short person has left a room? Their belongings are still on the floor!
18. What did the short person say when they got lost in the forest? “I can’t see the trees because I’m already so short!”
19. Why did the short person want to be a quarterback? They wanted to throw the ball over everyone’s head!
20. How does a short person measure their success? By the “height” of their achievements!

Short and Sweet: Hilarious Dad Jokes about Height!

1. “Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, shorty.”
2. “I told my wife I wanted to be a comedian, but she said I was too short for the job.”
3. “Why did the short person bring a ladder to the party? Because they heard it was going to be a short-notice event.”
4. “Did you hear about the short golfer? He went for a hole-in-one and ended up with a hole-in-half!”
5. “I used to think I was short, but then I realized I was just vertically challenged.”
6. “Why did the short chef only use small pans? Because he didn’t want to feel over-‘whisked’.”
7. “Why don’t short people like sarcasm? Because it goes over their heads.”
8. “Did you hear about the short detective? He could only solve small crimes, but he was really good at cracking jokes.”
9. “I was going to tell a joke about short pencils, but it’s pointless.”
10. “Why did the short person stop using the elevator? They were tired of being looked down upon.”
11. “My friend complained that they were too short to ride the rollercoaster. I told them not to worry, it has its ups and downs.”
12. “Why did the short person go to the library? To borrow some ‘little’-rature.”
13. “Why did the short person refuse to play cards? Because they heard it was a de-‘small’ game.”
14. “I tried to make a reservation for a table, but they said there was a height requirement. I guess they only serve tall orders.”
15. “Why did the short person become an astronaut? Because they heard they could see the world from a different perspective.”
16. “Why couldn’t the short person reach the top shelf? Because they were afraid of ‘high’ expectations.”
17. “Why did the short person refuse to go to the beach? They were afraid they would get ‘waves’ in their hair.”
18. “I wanted to make a joke about being short, but I couldn’t think of anything short enough.”
19. “Why did the short person refuse to go on a car ride? They didn’t want to be ‘short-circuited’ in the back seat.”
20. “I told my wife I was going to trim the hedges, and she said, ‘You don’t need to, you’re already short enough’.”

Funny Quotes about ‘Short’: When Life Gives You Lemons, Sometimes They’re Just Small

1. “I might be short, but I have a tall sense of humor.”
2. “Being short is like living in a perpetual funhouse mirror.”
3. Short people give the best hugs, we’re closer to the heart.
4. “I may be small, but my attitude is over 6 feet tall.”
5. “The best things come in small packages, except for me, I’m just a handful.”
6. “Short people are always at the front of the line, we just get things done faster.”
7. “Being short isn’t a disadvantage, it’s just being closer to the ground to pick up money.”
8. “I would rather be short and sassy than tall and boring.”
9. “Short people may not have it all, but we sure do have a great view of everyone’s nostrils.”
10. “I may be vertically challenged, but my wit is off the charts.”
11. “God only lets things grow until they are perfect, some of us didn’t take as long as others.”
12. “Being short is like living life on a permanent step stool.”
13. “I may be short, but I can reach for the stars just as good as anyone else.”
14. “I may be small, but my punchlines pack a big punch.”
15. “Life’s too short to be taken seriously, unless you’re talking about your height.”
16. “Being short doesn’t mean I have a short temper, just a lot of short jokes.”
17. “I don’t need a ladder to reach my goals, I just use my short legs and jump.”
18. “Being short means I can fit into small spaces and sneak up on people, it’s like being a ninja.”
19. “I may be fun-sized, but I’m full of fun and sarcasm.”
20. “Tall people may look down on us, but we have a good perspective from down here.”

Keep it brief: Hilarious quips and savvy sayings about all things ‘short’

1. “A short person may reach the top shelf with a stool, but they’ll always win at limbo.”
2. “Don’t judge a person by their height, but never underestimate the power of a small package.”
3. “A short person’s eyes may be closer to the ground, but their perspective is still sky high.”
4. “Short friends are like pocket-sized superheroes, always ready to save the day.”
5. “Life is like a pair of pants, it’s better to have them a little short than dragging on the ground.”
6. “They say good things come in small packages, but have they seen how much guacamole fits in a bowl?”
7. “A tall person may reach the ceiling, but a short person can fit in the crawl space when the spiders come out.”
8. “Size may matter to some, but at least short people don’t hit their head on low door frames.”
9. “A short person’s stride may be small, but their determination knows no bounds.”
10. “A short person is like a powerful espresso, strong and bold despite its small size.”
11. “Never underestimate the agility of a short person, their quick movements will leave you dizzy.”
12. “Short people may not have long legs, but they make up for it with their big personalities.”
13. “A short person’s punch may not reach your face, but their words will hit you where it hurts.”
14. “Short people are like hamburgers, petite and packed with flavor.”
15. “A short person’s shadow may be small, but it’s still there to remind you of their presence.”
16. “Tall or short, we’re all just trying to reach the cookies on the top shelf.”
17. “Short people know what it’s like to be underestimated, and that’s why they always prove everyone wrong.”
18. “A short person’s hug may not wrap around you, but it will warm your heart.”
19. “Short people may not see over the crowds, but they know how to find the best view in life.”
20. “Tall people may have longer legs, but they’ll never know the joy of being able to stretch out in a small bed.”

Get a Good Laugh with These ‘Short’ Double Entendres Puns!

1. “I told my husband I wanted a diamond ring, and he brought home a set of playing cards. Talk about a royal flush.”
2. “My boyfriend said he wanted to ‘Netflix and chill,’ but ended up just watching TV and eating ice cream.”
3. “My bank account is like a library book – always checked out and never returns.”
4. “Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side, of course!”
5. “I asked my friend if she wanted to go for a run, and she replied, ‘I don’t jog… I just wine.'”
6. “Someone stole my mood ring the other day. I don’t know how I feel about that.”
7. “My dad always said he wanted to be a comedian, but he never made it past the one-liners.”
8. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
9. “I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time.”
10. “I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!”
11. “My friend asked for a banana split, but the waiter just brought him a sandwich and a broken heart.”
12. “Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!”
13. “I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.”
14. “I’m reading a book about anti-gravity… I can’t put it down!”
15. “My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.”
16. “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high… she looked surprised.”
17. “I was going to tell a joke about the beach, but it was too sandy.”
18. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.”
19. “Why are ghosts so bad at lying? Because you can see right through them.”
20. “I entered a pun contest, but no pun in ten did.”

The never-ending hilarity of Recursive Puns about Short Stature

1. Did you hear about the short comedian who made jokes about his height? They were a little recursive.
2. Why did the short person go on a diet? He wanted to be a little more recursive.
3. What do you call a group of short people who keep making puns? A recursive bunch.
4. I tried to tell a joke about my height, but it just kept spiraling into recursive territory.
5. Why couldn’t the short person reach the top shelf? His recursive ladder only reached halfway.
6. How does a short person make themselves look taller? By standing on a recursion box.
7. I asked my short friend why he always has to prove his point. He said it’s because he’s a little recursive.
8. What do you call a short person who loves math? A recursive calculator.
9. Why did the short person have trouble seeing the punchline? The joke was just too recursive.
10. I told my short friend a recursive joke. He said, “I can’t believe I fell for it twice.”
11. Why did the short person keep telling the same pun over and over again? It was just too recursive to resist.
12. How does a short person order food at a restaurant? By asking for a recursion meal.
13. Why did the short person go to every comedy show he could find? He was hoping for some new, non-recursive material.
14. I thought about buying my short friend a set of stilts, but I didn’t want to enable his recursive behavior.
15. Why did the short person only tell jokes about turtles? Because they always have a little bit of recursion in them.
16. What do you call a short person with an addiction to puns? A recursive jester.
17. I tried to tell a pun about my height, but it was just too recursive for anyone to follow.
18. Why did the short person keep walking in circles? He was trying to get a little bit of recursion in his life.
19. I asked my short friend if he wanted to go to a comedy show. He said, “No thanks, I’m all punned out for today.”
20. Why did the short person become a comedian? Because he had a knack for recursion and making people laugh.

Short on Puns, But Long on Laughs: Short Tom Swifties Galore!

1. “I can’t believe I forgot to bring my map,” Tom said aimlessly.
2. “I’m ready to ride the roller coaster,” Tom said excitedly.
3. “I just finished reading ‘Moby Dick’,” Tom said, without a whale of a tale.
4. “I don’t believe in ghosts,” Tom said hauntingly.
5. “I forgot my umbrella again,” Tom said, rain or shinelessly.
6. “I’ll never win a race against a cheetah,” Tom said swiftly.
7. “I have a new recipe for spaghetti,” Tom said saucily.
8. “I can’t seem to stop eating chocolate,” Tom said sweetly.
9. “I’m so tired of arm-wrestling, it’s getting old,” Tom said, single-handedly.
10. “I wish I had a time machine,” Tom said, in hindsight.
11. “I hate math, it’s my least favorite subject,” Tom said, with negative integers.
12. “I’m not afraid of heights,” Tom said, with lofty goals.
13. “I never learned how to tie my shoes,” Tom said, on a loose tongue.
14. “I’ll never be able to finish this puzzle,” Tom said, piecing things together.
15. “I love watching fireworks on the 4th of July,” Tom said, with explosive enthusiasm.
16. “I can’t believe I fell for that magic trick,” Tom said, abracadabra-gasted.
17. “I’ll never be able to catch a fly with chopsticks,” Tom said, with chop-stuck luck.
18. “I hate doing laundry, it’s such a chore,” Tom said laboriously.
19. “I can’t wait to try this new recipe,” Tom said, with bated breath.
20. “I’m not afraid of ghosts,” Tom said, hauntingly.

Short and Sweet: A Collection of Hilarious Knock-knock Jokes

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Short.
2. Short who? Short joke, but I forgot the punchline.
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Small.
4. Small who? Small joke, but it’s still funny.
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tiny.
6. Tiny who? Tiny joke, big laughs.
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mini.
8. Mini who? Mini joke, maximum fun.
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Petite.
10. Petite who? Petite joke, grand entertainment.
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fun size.
12. Fun size who? Fun size joke, massive enjoyment.
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Compact.
14. Compact who? Compact joke, huge hilarity.
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pocket-sized.
16. Pocket-sized who? Pocket-sized joke, giant laughs.
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bite-sized.
18. Bite-sized who? Bite-sized joke, bite-sized entertainment.
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Shrimpy.
20. Shrimpy who? Shrimpy joke, but it still packs a punch!

Short & Snappy: Laughable ‘Short’ Malapropisms to Brighten Your Day

1. “I’m just going to wing it.” (instead of “I’m just going to Wrigley it.”)
2. “Can I have a piece of that pie?” (instead of “Can I have a peace of that pie?”)
3. “I have to go to the beta test.” (instead of “I have to go to the vet’s.”)
4. “I’m feeling a little cranky today.” (instead of “I’m feeling a little crabby today.”)
5. “Let’s take a procrastination break.” (instead of “Let’s take a procreation break.”)
6. “That’s a bit nutty.” (instead of “That’s a bit naughty.”)
7. “I’m going to be cancelled for dinner.” (instead of “I’m going to be canoodling for dinner.”)
8. “I’m in dire need of some caffeine guilt.” (instead of “I’m in dire need of some caffeine jolt.”)
9. “This music is giving me headrush.” (instead of “This music is giving me a headache.”)
10. “I have a pizza date with my friends.” (instead of “I have a playdate with my friends.”)
11. “I’m going to take a quick kangaroo nap.” (instead of “I’m going to take a catnap.”)
12. “I’m addicted to shopping at the malligators.” (instead of “I’m addicted to shopping at the mall.”)
13. “I always have a smile on my space.” (instead of “I always have a smile on my face.”)
14. “Don’t be such a party pooper fish.” (instead of “Don’t be such a party pooper.”)
15. “I can’t believe I forgot my carrotnung” (instead of “I can’t believe I forgot my car keys.”)
16. “This workout is really giving me a potty mouth.” (instead of “This workout is really giving me a workout.”)
17. “I need to buy some new pantaloons.” (instead of “I need to buy some new pants.”)
18. “I’m feeling a little beachy right now.” (instead of “I’m feeling a little bitchy right now.”)
19. “Could you please pass me the double-cross sauce?” (instead of “Could you please pass me the barbecue sauce?”)
20. “I’m going to ask for a raisin this year.” (instead of “I’m going to ask for a raise this year.”)

Quirky Spoonerisms about Shortness: Shrinking Humor!

1. “Shrort Bead” instead of “Short Bread”
2. “Lorty Shirt” instead of “Shorty Skirt”
3. “Shot Perd” instead of “Short Perd”
4. “Sport Lheets” instead of “Short Sleeves”
5. “Shotty Girls” instead of “Shorty Curls”
6. “Slock Hepper” instead of “Hock Stepper”
7. “Hort Bair” instead of “Bort Hair”
8. “Frit By” instead of “Bry Fit”
9. “Wort Hose” instead of “Hort Wose”
10. “Lort Skirt” instead of “Short Skirt”
11. “Hort Love” instead of “Short Glove”
12. “Pill Shower” instead of “Shill Power”
13. “Floppy Shoes” instead of “Sloppy Choos”
14. “Lort Pants” instead of “Short Pants”
15. “Spicy Sturt” instead of “Sticy Spurt”
16. “Spotlight Hurse” instead of “Hotlight Spurse”
17. “Chop Corn” instead of “Cot Chorn”
18. “Mighty True” instead of “Tighty Mrew”
19. “Blood Shot” instead of “Shot Blood”
20. “Horty Shighs” instead of “Shorty Thighs”

Short and Punny: Add Some Laughter Height!

Well, folks, I hope you’re not feeling short changed after reading this post! With over 230 puns about short jokes, you could say we’ve really elevated the fun size. But if you’re still craving more laughter, be sure to check out our other pun and joke posts. Trust me, they’re the perfect cure for a long day. Until next time, keep it short and punny!