Laughing Out Sly-d: 230+ Snake Jokes & Puns for Reptile Lovers

Looking for some slithering fun? Look no further, because I’ve got the BEST snake puns and jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone (or should I say, funny scales). These puns about snakes are clever, positive, and perfect for kids of all ages. From corny one-liners to silly jokes, this list will have you and your little ones laughing in no time. So brace yourself for some humor that’s sssssimply hilarious!

Slither into Hilarious Laughter with these Snake-Inspired Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks!

1. Why did the snake go to the bar? He wanted to get a venom-tini!
2. What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpentine!
3. How do snakes communicate? They use sssign language!
4. Did you hear about the snake who went on a diet? He shedded a few pounds!
5. Why did the snake hire a lawyer? He needed to defend hiss-elf!
6. What do you call a snake that’s good at math? An adder-tition expert!
7. How do snakes write letters? With scales and stationary!
8. What did one snake say to the other? You’re hiss-terical!
9. Why did the snake take up yoga? He wanted to become more flexi-hiss-ble!
10. How does a snake answer the phone? “Ksss, who’sss thisss?”
11. What do you call a snake that’s a great singer? A hiss-terical crooner!
12. Why did the snake go to the dentist? He had a bad case of fang-tastic toothache!
13. How do snakes keep their hair in place? With reptile gel!
14. What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hiss-tory!
15. Why did the snake refuse to go on a blind date? He said he was already seeing someone!
16. What do you call a snake who’s good at basketball? A slither-dunker!
17. How does a snake introduce itself? “Hi, I’m a hiss-terical creature!”
18. Why was the snake kicked out of the spelling bee? He couldn’t spell s-s-s-uccess!
19. What do you call a snake that’s always on time? Punctual-perous!
20. Why did the snake go to the doctor? He wasn’t feeling very hiss-terical!

Slither and Snicker: Hilarious One-Liners about Snakes to Make You Chuckle!

1. Did you hear about the snake who was afraid of his own hiss-terical jokes? He had a real fear of cracking himself up!
2. What do you call a snake who is also a doctor? A stethoscope-tailor!
3. Why is it so hard for snakes to tell jokes? Because they always end up with a lot of hiss-takes!
4. How do snakes write letters? With an italic-cobra font, of course!
5. Why did the snake go to the doctor? He wasn’t feeling venom-ous enough!
6. What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent!
7. How do snakes send important messages? Through hiss-per mail!
8. Did you hear about the snake who went on a diet? He wanted to become hiss-torically slimy!
9. What do you call a snake who plays video games? A slithery gamer!
10. Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the other sssside!
11. Did you hear about the snake who opened his own clothing store? It’s called “Hiss-terical Fashion”!
12. What’s a snake’s favorite type of music? Hip-hiss!
13. What do snakes eat for breakfast? Mice krispies!
14. Why did the snake refuse to do any work? He was boa-cotted!
15. What do you call a snake who is also an artist? A s-s-scribbler!
16. Why did the snake go to the mechanic? He needed a ssssnake oil change!
17. How do snakes measure distance? In hiss-toric units!
18. Did you hear about the snake who opened a yoga studio? It’s called “Hiss-tation”!
19. What did the snake say when he won an award? “It’sss an honor!”
20. Why don’t snakes have good English skills? They always s-s-s-stutter!

What do you call a sneaky reptile that tells jokes? A QnA Comedian Snake!

1. Q: What did the snake say when it got a flat tire? A: Ss-s-something’s wrong, I’m hissss-terical!
2. Q: What do you call a snake that works at a dessert shop? A: A pie-thon!
3. Q: Why was the snake so good at math? A: Because it was an adder!
4. Q: How does a snake measure its length? A: In inchess!
5. Q: What does a snake use to clean its shoes? A: A snake-shoe-per!
6. Q: How do you make a snake laugh? A: You just snake up on it!
7. Q: What did the snake say to the sneaky mouse? A: You are such a mous-er!
8. Q: Why did the snake go on a diet? A: To become a python-thin!
9. Q: What do you get when you cross a snake with a famous scientist? A: A Hisss-tein!
10. Q: Why was the snake always the best dancer at parties? A: Because it knew how to shake its scales!
11. Q: What do snakes do for fun on vacation? A: They go on hiss-toric tours!
12. Q: Why did the snake resort to online dating? A: Because it was tired of the hiss-terical bar scene!
13. Q: What did the snake say when it got into a fight with another snake? A: Back off, I’m sss-erious!
14. Q: What did the snake say when it got a job at a brewery? A: Time to slither over to work, I’m going to be a beer boa!
15. Q: What’s a snake’s favorite kind of music? A: Rattlesnake and Roll!
16. Q: Why don’t snakes tell jokes? A: Because their punchlines are always a little hiss-terical!
17. Q: How does a snake make a call? A: It uses its cobraw!
18. Q: What did the snake say when it found itself in a tight spot? A: Sss-queeze me!
19. Q: What game do snakes like to play at parties? A: Twisss-ter!
20. Q: Why did the snake go to the doctor? A: It was feeling reptile!

Ssssympathize with your dad’s ‘hissss’terical snake jokes

1. Why was the snake feeling tired? Because he was just a little conssssstipated.
2. Did you hear about the snake who opened a shoe store? He had a lot of sole.
3. Why did the snake go to school? He wanted to learn hiss-tory.
4. What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent.
5. Did you know snakes are great dancers? They can really ssssssswing.
6. Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the reptile store.
7. I asked my pet snake how she stays so lean. She said she just sssssees her food and stops eating.
8. Why was the snake unhappy at the circus? He didn’t have any talent, he was just a sidewinder.
9. What did the python say to his wife when she asked if she looked fat? “No, you ssssslender.”
10. Why did the snake refuse to play hide and seek? He didn’t have any legs to hide with.
11. Why did the snake hire a personal trainer? He wanted to get ripped.
12. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A python apple pie.
13. Why did the snake become a plumber? He just loved hiss job.
14. How does a snake start his letters? With a hissss and a postage stamp.
15. Why was the snake always so angry? He had a lot of hiss-ues.
16. How do you measure a snake’s length? In inches, because they have no feet.
17. What was the snake’s favorite subject in school? Hiss-tory, of course.
18. What do you call a snake that works in a circus? A ring-ssssmaster.
19. Why did the snake go on a diet? He wanted to look ssssslimmer.
20. What did the snake say when he bumped into the cactus? “Oh, ssssssorry!”

Slither and Snicker: Funny Quotes about Snake Shenanigans

1. “I don’t trust snakes, they’re just too s-s-sneaky.”
2. “Snakes may be cold-blooded, but they sure know how to charm.”
3. “My ex was like a snake, always shedding their skin and leaving a mess behind.”
4. “Snakes and ladders? More like snakes and heart attacks.”
5. “I’ve never seen a snake with arms before, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they started bench pressing.”
6. “You can’t trust someone who looks you in the eye and flicks their tongue.”
7. “I’ve heard of the ‘circle of life,’ but snakes take it to a whole new level.”
8. “Snakes are like slinkies, except they’re not as fun to play with.”
9. “Snakes are just legless dragons, change my mind.”
10. “I hate when I’m trying to sleep and suddenly remember that snakes have no eyelids.”
11. “Snakes may be slimy, but let’s not forget they’re also spineless.”
12. “A snake’s hiss is just nature’s way of saying ‘screw you.'”
13. “Why settle for a rope when you can have a living, breathing jump rope? Thanks, snakes.”
14. “Next time someone tells you to ‘be yourself,’ just remember that snakes have been doing it for centuries.”
15. “If you ever feel like you’ve hit rock bottom, just remember there are snakes that live underground.”
16. “A snake’s venom is just their way of giving a little love bite.”
17. “Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the other ssssssss-side.”
18. “There’s no better way to wake up than with a snake slithering in your bed. Said no one ever.”
19. “Snakes are like nature’s boomerang – they always come back.”
20. “If I had a dollar for every time someone said they liked snakes, I’d still be broke.”

Sssome chuckles and wisdom with these ‘Snake’-y sayings!

1. “A snake in the grass is still better than a spider in your bed.”
2. “When life gives you snakes, make snake soup.”
3. “The early bird catches the worm, but the early snake catches the mouse.”
4. “A snake never forgets to shed its skin, but some politicians seem to forget their promises.”
5. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on the snake for not warning me.”
6. “A snake’s hiss is just its way of saying ‘I love you’.”
7. “You can’t teach an old snake new tricks, but you can make them do a mean belly dance.”
8. “The grass may be greener on the other side, but watch out for those sneaky snakes hiding in it.”
9. “The only thing scarier than a snake charmer is a snake with a ukulele.”
10. “A snake is like a fine wine, it just gets deadlier with age.”
11. “Honesty is the best policy, unless you’re a snake trying to blend in with the grass.”
12. “Never trust a snake who tells you they are vegetarian.”
13. “A snake in the hand is worth two in the bushes.”
14. “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If life gives you snakes, run for your life.”
15. “A snake never apologizes for its venom, because it’s just doing its job.”
16. “A snake will always find its way back to the jungle, just like a bad habit will find its way back to you.”
17. “Keep your friends close and your snake enemies closer.”
18. “Love is like a snake, it can be deadly or it can be charming.”
19. “A snake’s venom may be poisonous, but a spider’s web can be just as deadly.”
20. “When faced with a tough decision, ask yourself: what would a snake do?”

Slithering with Sassy Snake Double Entendres: Hiss-terically Good Puns!

1. “I can’t believe I fell for your slithering ways, you sneaky snake!”
2. “Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the hiss-toric side!”
3. “I didn’t know snakes could have a sense of humor, but here you are, cracking me up!”
4. “You may be a snake, but you still have some serious charm!”
5. “After spending all day in the sun, I feel like a sunburnt snake!”
6. “My ex was such a snake, always shedding his skin and leaving a mess.”
7. “Whenever I see a snake, I just have to hiss hello!”
8. “I knew I had to stay away from him, but I couldn’t resist his snake charm.”
9. “I never thought I’d be able to hold a snake, but now I think we have a real connection!”
10. “Life would be so much easier if people didn’t act like a bunch of slippery snakes.”
11. “Ah, the classic love story: boy meets girl, girl meets snake, they live happily ever after.”
12. “You’ve got some serious scales on you, you smooth-talking snake!”
13. “I can’t decide if I’m more afraid of the snake or the guy handling it.”
14. “Why did the snake refuse to strike back? Because he was a peaceful adder!”
15. “I never thought I’d end up in a love triangle with two snakes, but here I am.”
16. “I wouldn’t trust that guy as far as I could throw him, which is not very far since he’s a snake.”
17. “Sometimes I feel like a snake charmer, with all the snakes in my life trying to charm me.”
18. “The professional wrestler’s signature move: the anaconda squeeze.”
19. “I never thought I’d become a vegetarian, but then I met a vegetarian snake and it changed everything.”
20. “Looks like someone needs to put some pants on, because that snake is definitely checking them out!”

Slither your way through these hilarious recursive puns about snakes!

1. Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the other ssssside of the punchline.
2. What do you call a snake that is also a math genius? A sssssinusoidal snake.
3. I can’t believe I forgot how to spell “adderrtive.” Oh wait, there’s an A, D, and S, snake.
4. Why did the snake go on a diet? So it could be an anaconda once in a while.
5. What do you call a snake with a lisp? A lithsping ssssnake.
6. Did you hear about the snake that inherited a fortune? They say it’s rolling in dough-pytherin.
7. Why did the snake go to the doctor? It had a hissterectomy.
8. Did you know that snakes are great at telling jokes? They’re natural hiss-tericians.
9. What do you call a snake that loves to make music? A hiss-ician!
10. Why was the snake alone on Valentine’s Day? Because it had a broken-hearted adder.
11. I just bought a new pet snake, but it keeps eating all my socks. I guess you could say it’s a boa-constrictor!
12. Where do snakes go to learn math? Rattlin’ school!
13. Why are snakes such great dancers? They always slither on the dance floor.
14. Did you hear about the snake who joined a gym? It wanted to work on its hissing muscles.
15. What did the snake say when it saw its reflection? “I’m soooooooo good-looking!”
16. Why did the snake go to college? To get a hiss-tory degree!
17. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A sssssweet dessert!
18. Why couldn’t the snake trust his best friend? Because he was a back-stabber.
19. What did the snake say when it won the race? “I’ve got sssspeed to burn!”
20. Did you hear about the snake who had trouble making decisions? It was always stuck in a hiss-tate of indecisssion.

Slither into Hilarity with ‘Snakes’ Tom Swifties’!

1. “I can’t believe I just stepped on a rattlesnake,” Tom hissed sarcastically.
2. “I’m never going on a hike again,” said Tom, venomously.
3. “I never expected to find a snake in my boot,” Tom exclaimed, shookenly.
4. “Watch out, that snake is about to strike!” Tom warned boisterously.
5. “I slithered through the grass undetected,” the snake boasted silently.
6. “I wrapped myself around her heart,” the snake charmed seductively.
7. “This boa constrictor is really tightening its grip,” Tom choked humorously.
8. “I’m not afraid of snakes,” Tom boasted fearlessly.
9. “I think this copperhead just bit me,” Tom groaned pitifully.
10. “I love going to the reptile exhibit,” Tom hissed excitedly.
11. “That’s not a garden hose, it’s a snake!” Tom exclaimed, unknowingly.
12. “I’ll just use my snake charming skills to tame this cobra,” Tom boasted arrogantly.
13. “This snake is really starting to coil around my neck,” Tom choked, constrictedly.
14. “I can’t believe I just ate a fried rattlesnake,” Tom slithered disappointedly.
15. “Do you think I’ll ever become a famous herpetologist?” Tom reptiled dreamily.
16. “I’ll just use this snake as a jump rope,” Tom joked lamely.
17. “If you don’t like snakes, then you must have a phobia,” Tom hissed nervously.
18. “I have a sixth sense when it comes to detecting snakes,” Tom boasted intuitively.
19. “I feel like a snake shedding its skin,” Tom said epidermally.
20. “This python is squeezing the life out of me,” Tom gasped, humorously.

Slither into Laughter with These ‘Knock-knock’ Jokes about Snake

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snake. Snake who? Ssssssssssssup! It’s me, Snake!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hiss. Hiss who? Hissing you a happy birthday, Snake!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fang. Fang who? Fanging around with my favorite snake, of course!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Adder. Adder who? Adder-ance makes the heart grow fonder, just like my love for snakes.
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Python. Python who? Python all the time, I can’t stop talking about snakes!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Viper. Viper who? Viper-d the laughter, here I come, snake friend!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rattler. Rattler who? Rattler up some more snake jokes, please.
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boa. Boa who? Boa-n appétit! Time to eat some mice with my snake pal.
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Anaconda. Anaconda who? Anaconda get a better look at that hilarious snake costume!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Reptile. Reptile who? Reptile round and round with this snake joke.
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cobalt. Cobalt who? Cobalt me and you go catch some snakes in the wild!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Copperhead. Copperhead who? Copperhead and laugh, this joke is hilarious!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cobra. Cobra who? Cobra-n on my snake buddy to make me laugh.
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Viperine. Viperine who? Viperine up your day with some snake jokes.
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Serpentine. Serpentine who? Serpentine wrap your arms around that snake, they need a hug too!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mamba. Mamba who? Mamba out of jokes, this one’s a classic!
17. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Scales. Scales who? Scales are tipping in my favor, I’m on a roll with these snake jokes!
18. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Adder-able. Adder-able who? Adder-able to stop laughing at these goofy snake jokes!
19. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boa-rd game. Boa-rd game who? Boa-rd game night with my snake-loving friends!
20. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Corral. Corral who? Corral-ly me if I’m wrong, but snakes are the funniest animals around!

Slippery Syntax: Embracing the Humorous “Snake” Malapropisms

1. “His snake-faced grin” instead of “snakeskin grin”
2. “She’s a real corncob snake” instead of “corn snake”
3. “I stepped on a rake and got a snake in my foot” instead of “snake bite”
4. “The kitchen is crawling with cocoanut pythons” instead of “coconut pythons”
5. “He’s as slippery as a sassafras” instead of “snake”
6. “Watch out for those snimbles in the grass” instead of “vipers”
7. “That snake is as thick as two planks of wood” instead of “thick as two short planks”
8. “I caught a rainbow boa on my fishing trip” instead of “rainbow trout”
9. “Don’t touch that hot rubber, it’s full of snakes!” instead of “rubber snakes”
10. “She’s got a real case of rabbit-hair snakes” instead of “rattle snakes”
11. “I saw a garden snail carrying a tiny garden s’mores in its mouth” instead of “garter snake”
12. “There’s a nest of chocolate cobras in the shed” instead of “copperheads”
13. “Those sand vipers are just a bunch of party poopers” instead of “sandpipers”
14. “My pet sneaker always slithers around when it’s hungry” instead of “snake”
15. “I’m deathly afraid of flying snakes” instead of “flying squirrels”
16. “Look at all these vines hanging from the ceiling, are they snake vines?” instead of “wine bottles”
17. “I heard a hiss in the bushes and thought it was just a wind chime” instead of “snake”
18. “Did you see that guy’s pet garden spade? It was huge!” instead of “garden snake”
19. “I have a pet bird eater at home, it’s really fond of my parrot” instead of “bird-eating spider”
20. “Don’t worry, that’s just a harmless branch snake” instead of “branch off”.

Slip into Some Silly Spoonerisms about Snakes: A Serpentine Spin on Sound Swapping!

1. Sneaky Snake – Leaky Snake
2. Snake Charmer – Cake Sharmer
3. Rattling Snake – Sattling Rake
4. Shedding Skin – Spreading Shen
5. Venomous Snake – Lemonous Vake
6. Cold-blooded – Bold-cludded
7. Slithering Snake – Stithering Slake
8. Slinky Snake – Linky Shake
9. Hissing Sound – Missing Hound
10. Coiled up – Oiled cup
11. Fear of Snakes – Shear of Snakes
12. Long and Slimy – Song and Limely
13. Viper Bite – Biper Vite
14. Jungle Snake – Stungle Jake
15. Poisonous Fangs – Foinsonous Pangs
16. Snake Skin – Shake Sin
17. Scales and Slinkies – Slinkes and Scalinies
18. Fangs and Venom – Vangs and Fenom
19. Deadly Bite – Bedly Dite
20. Serpentine – Seppertine

Slither Away with These Hilarious Snake Puns!

And with that, we have come to the end of our slithery adventure through 230+ puns about snakes. We hope you had a hiss-terical time and found these jokes quite a-moo-sing. But don’t let the fun stop here, be sure to check out our other posts for more rib-tickling puns and jokes. Until then, keep calm and hiss on!