105+ Spider Jokes & Puns: You're Gonna Love These Webs of Laughter!

Get ready to weave your way into a web of laughter with the best spider jokes and puns this side of the Mississippi! This list of funny and clever jokes is sure to leave you feeling positive and upbeat, even if you’re usually terrified of eight-legged crawlers. Did you know that a spider’s silk is actually stronger than steel pound-for-pound? Well, get ready to strengthen your funny bone with this collection of humor that’s anything but itsy-bitsy!

Top Spider Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Web Humor at Its Finest

What do you call a spider who’s a web developer? A spin doctor!
Why did the spider get lost in its web? It had too many tabs open!
I’m starting a band called “Spiders.” We’re looking for a bassist.
What’s a spider’s favorite dating app? WebsHarmony.
Met a spider today who could predict the future. Turns out, he’s a web seer!
My friend quit his job designing spiderwebs. Said he felt trapped.
That spider is really buff! Must be all that web lifting.
What did the spider say to the fly? Buzz off, I’m working!
That spider is one smooth operator. He always catches his prey with style.
Spider opened a bakery called “The Sticky Web.” Their tagline? “We get caught up in our work!”
Never ask a spider for advice. They’re always so spineless.
Heard the spider got kicked out of the library? He kept taking out bookworms!
Why are spiders so smart? They have eight legs to carry a library card!
That spider’s so good at hide-and-seek. He’s a master of disa-peer-ance.
What’s a spider’s favorite genre? Thriller!

Funny Spider Jokes With One Liner Clever Spider Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny Spider One-Liner Jokes That’ll Crack You Up

I tried to explain to the spider that the World Wide Web was metaphorical, but he just kept saying, “Cool story, bro. Now where’s the server?”
What do you call a spider that sells counterfeit goods? A web designer.
This morning, I saw a spider doing crunches. Turns out he wanted to be a web developer…with abs.
I asked a fortune-telling spider my future. It said, “You’re going to be a web designer.” I guess you could say I saw that coming.
Spiders are excellent knitters, but they have terrible customer service. They keep you on hold forever in their web chat.
What does a spider’s bride wear? A white webbing dress.
My friend says his house is spider-proof. Personally, I find that hard to believe.
I told my friend all my problems. Turns out, he’s a web designer. Now everyone knows.
What do you get when you combine a tarantula and a sheepdog? A critter that rounds up your nightmares and chases them into corners.
My roommate tried to start a spider silk farm. I told him to quit spinning yarns and get a real job.
Why did the spider get lost on the internet? He didn’t remember his web address.
How do spiders communicate with each other? Through the grapevine… or should I say, the spider vine.
Why was the spider’s website so slow? It had too many bugs.
What do you call a spider that’s always getting into trouble? A web crawler.
Always be nice to spiders. They’re the only ones who are truly invested in keeping flies off your back.
I tried to start a band called “10,000 Flies.” We needed a good drummer, but nobody wanted to touch our web page.
Never underestimate a spider’s ambition. They may be small, but they have big dreams… and even bigger webs.

QnA Jokes & Puns about Spider: Spun with Laughter

Q: What’s a spider’s favorite dating app? A: WebMD (because they’re always looking for a web-sight).
Q: Why did the spider get lost in the library? A: It kept getting caught in the web pages!
Q: What’s a spider’s favorite genre of music? A: Anything with a good beat…because they have eight legs to dance with!
Q: What did the spider say to the fly who wasn’t caught in its web? A: “Aw, c’mon, give it a try! It’s to dye for!”
Q: Why did the spider cross the road? A: To prove he wasn’t chicken…he was actually a spider!
Q: What do you call a spider that sells houses? A: A web designer!
Q: Why was the spider late for the meeting? A: It got caught in a web-inar.
Q: What’s a tarantula’s least favorite subject in school? A: History… because they’re always getting tangled in the web of the past!
Q: Why did the spider break up with the butterfly? A: He found out she was a social butterfly!
Q: What do you get if you cross a spider and a sheep? A: A web designer who’s always getting fleeced!
Q: What do you call a spider that’s a lawyer? A: A web counsel!
Q: What do you call a fashionable spider? A: A trend-setter (or spider-setter)!
Q: What’s a spider’s favorite board game? A: Twister! They’re naturally flexible!
Q: What’s a cool name for a spider? A: Spinner Mendelson!
Q: Why don’t spiders play esports? A: They always get banned for using too many webcams!
Q: Where do spiders keep their money? A: In a web bank!
Q: Why are spiders so smart? A: They’re always building their own network!

Dad Jokes about Spider: The Ultimate Web of Humor

I met a spider the other day who could write in cursive. He was a real web designer.
Why did the spider get lost in the library? He walked into a “web” page!
What do you call a spider that just graduated high school? Ready to spin-off on his own!
My son asked to see a spider fight… I told him to be patient, they’ll be a web-inar soon.
Why did the spider cross the road? Nobody web-sites their sources anymore.
What do you call a spider that’s always in trouble? A web-crawler!
This one spider keeps building webs in my keyboard… I guess you could say he’s really “sticking” to his craft!
Why do spiders love living in computer rooms? They love the world wide web!
Heard about the spider who couldn’t afford rent? He had to move back in with his mom in her web domain.
What’s a spider’s favorite dating app? Web-site, of course.
My wife yelled at me for “playing” with my food… I told her, “I was just helping the spider make a web-site out of spaghetti!”
Why are spiders such good baseball players? They’re always catching flies!
What music do spiders listen to? Anything they can stream on the web!
What does a spider’s bride wear? A white webbing dress, of course!
What do you get if you cross a spider and a sheep? A woolly web-spinner!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Spiders and Webs

Just saw a spider do a flip… I guess you could say he was doing a webinar on acrobatics. 🕸️🤸
Spiders are so dramatic. Always hanging around, waiting for a catch. 🕷️🎭
My roommate tried to convince me spiders are good for pest control. I told him to get a cat and quit spinning me tales. 🐈😹
Dating a spider would be complicated. They’re always bringing up their exes, saying “She’s in my web.” 💔🕸️
I used to be afraid of spiders, but then I realized… they’re more afraid of me! Okay, who am I kidding? 😱🕷️
Tried to give my pet spider a more exciting life… took him bungee jumping. Turns out, he was born to do it. 😎🕷️
Looking for love? Date a spider. They’re guaranteed to sweep you off your feet. 😉🕸️
Never ask a spider for fashion advice… they’re always in eight outfits at once. 🕷️👗
Life is like a spider web. Messy, complicated, and you might find yourself going in circles. 🕸️🤯
My therapist told me to face my fears… So I moved my desk closer to the spider web in the corner. Baby steps, people. 😰🤏
Why did the spider cross the road? No one knows… they’re too busy running in the opposite direction! 🕷️🏃‍♀️💨
Just saw a spider wearing a tiny tuxedo. Guess he was going to the silk tie event of the season. 🕷️🤵
If at first you don’t succeed… you’re probably not a spider. 🕸️🏆
Got fired from my job at the spider web factory today… Turns out, my work was too attaching. 😔🕸️
Asked my friend what he named his pet tarantula. He said, “Whatever I want, he’s not coming when I call him.” 🕷️🤫
Always remember: life is short, but the fear of spiders can make it feel like an eternity. ⏳😬🕷️

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Spider: Spun with Humor and Wisdom

A Spider’s work is never done, especially when it’s eight-legged and procrastination is an art form.
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a spider sleepy but it still catches the flies.
Don’t put all your eggs in one web… unless you’re a spider, then go for it.
The early spider gets the fly, but the patient spider gets a whole web full.
You can lead a fly to a spider web, but you can’t make it think it’s a five-star hotel.
Like father, like son, like spider, like… well, a smaller, creepier spider.
A watched pot never boils, but a watched spider web usually means someone’s about to scream.
Never judge a spider by its web, sometimes they just have a bad spinning day.
A friend in need is a friend indeed, unless that friend is a spider and you’re a fly.
Too many cooks spoil the broth, too many spiders just spoil the whole “not being afraid to go in the basement” thing.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a spider web a day keeps everyone away… except the flies.
You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but you catch even more with a good, strategically placed spider web.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was a spider web… though honestly, the spider probably had a quicker go of it.
Good things come to those who wait, and if you’re a spider, that usually means a juicy fly who wandered too close.
Where there’s a will, there’s a way, and where there’s a spider, there’s probably a web… and a whole lot of “nope” from everyone else.
A stitch in time saves nine, unless you’re talking about a spider web, then it’s more like a hundred stitches to mend a broken heart and a fear of basements.
Give a spider an inch, and it’ll spin a web… and probably make you question your life choices while running from the room.

Spider Double Entendres Puns: A Tangled Web of Humor

“This dating app is like trying to find a mate in a spider web; you’re bound to get stuck with a few creeps.”
“I tried to start a web design business, but it turns out I’m more of a spider – I just catch the clients, not build for them.”
“He called himself a ‘spider in the bedroom.’ Turns out, he was just really good at finding cobwebs.”
“My love life is like a spider’s silk… strong at first, then it just gets messy.”
“She was a black widow in the stock market, always spinning profits from unsuspecting companies.”
“They say you swallow eight spiders a year in your sleep. Sounds like my apartment needs an exterminator, and a therapist.”
“He thought he could handle the ‘spicy’ wings. Turns out he was more of a ‘spider’ – all legs and no heat tolerance.”
“My grandma’s knitting is like a spider web; intricate, beautiful, and you’re guaranteed to get tangled up in it.”
“He’s a real spider at parties – he walks in, everyone runs away.”
“That new sports car is a real spider magnet. Probably because it looks like it has eight eyes.”
“My roommate said he needed his space. I told him to build a web, then he’d really have something.”
“I walked into my son’s room and it was covered in fake spider webs. Turns out it wasn’t for Halloween; it was his dating profile picture.”
“They say great artists steal, but this musician is a spider – he straight up takes inspiration and wraps it in his own silk.”
“This new vacuum cleaner is supposed to pick up anything. Can’t wait to see its face when it meets my eight-legged roommate.”
“My financial advisor is like a spider; he spins elaborate plans, but ultimately it’s my money that gets caught in the web.”
“He tried to impress her with his ‘Tarantula Tango.’ Let’s just say, it involved less dancing and more flailing.”
“Dating in your 30s is like being a spider. You’ve got the experience, you’ve built your web, but now you’re just waiting for something juicy to come along.”

Funny Spider Tom Swifties: Web Weaving Wordplay

“This silk thread is surprisingly strong,” Tom said webly.
“I just can’t seem to catch a break,” Tom said flyly.
“My eyesight isn’t what it used to be,” Tom said dimly.
“I think I’ll have the fly soup,” Tom said brothily.
“I’m feeling rather trapped in this web,” Tom said clingingly.
“My reputation as a fearsome predator precedes me,” Tom said terrifyingly.
“I’m taking this web down for a wash,” Tom said spin-dryly.
“This tarantula is definitely bigger than me,” Tom said leggy.
“Get your own food, birds!”, Tom said fly-by-nightly.
“This web needs more sticky strands,” Tom remarked adhesively.
“My eight eyes see everything,” Tom said omnisciently.
“Those ants are encroaching on my territory,” Tom muttered anthropomorphically.
“I’m thinking of calling my new spider-son ‘Peter’,” Tom said marvelously.
“This old web needs a complete redesign,” Tom declared architecturally.
“Don’t worry, these fangs only inject venom,” Tom reassured poisonously.
“I think I’ll scuttle sideways for this one,” Tom said laterally.
“Being nocturnal really agrees with me,” Tom said darkly.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Spider for Kids

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spider. Spider who? Spider-man, does whatever a spider can!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spider. Spider who? Spider very quietly, I don’t want to scare you!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spider. Spider who? Spider you from across the room, you look familiar!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spider. Spider who? Spider-vise I wouldn’t ask, but do you have eight legs to lend?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spider. Spider who? Spider-st time for everything, let’s learn to knit webs!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spider. Spider who? Spider-manners to chew with your mouth closed.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spider. Spider who? Spider-der why the fly was so easy to catch? It was tired of running!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spider. Spider who? Spider-fectly good reason to be happy, it’s a beautiful day!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spider. Spider who? Spider-riffic idea to have some lemonade today, don’t you think?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spider. Spider who? Spider-dy or not, here I come!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spider. Spider who? Spider pig, Spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spider. Spider who? Spider-cribe for my newsletter, it’s full of web design tips!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spider. Spider who? Spider-licious dinner we’re having! What did you catch today?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Spider. Spider who? Spider-haps a hug would make you feel better?