120+ Absorbent Sponge Jokes, Puns: You'll Soak Up!

Get ready to soak up the best sponge jokes the internet has to offer! We’ve wrung out the competition and compiled a list of clever puns and side-splitting humor, guaranteed to make you laugh. Did you know a sponge can absorb up to 20 times its weight in water? Well, get ready for your funny bone to absorb a tidal wave of laughter with these hilarious sponge jokes!

Top Sponge Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Guaranteed to Soak You in Laughter

Heard about the sponge’s stand-up? Absorbing.
What does a sponge say before bedtime? Nighty-squeezy!
SpongeBob’s favorite music? Anything but country…he hates Squarepants!
Be careful, that sponge is actually an undercover agent! Seems he’s always soaking up information.
Sponges are great listeners. They’re so absorbent!
Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything, even sponges!
I tried to make a sponge cake earlier… It rose alright, problem was, it was supposed to be a bath sponge cake.
A sponge walks into a bar and says, “I’ll take a drink…hold the water.”
What do you call a magic sponge? A cleaning spell-ebrity!
That sponge really cleaned up at the awards ceremony!
Sponges are such great multi-taskers! Always cleaning and soaking things up.
What’s a sponge’s favorite snack? Chips and dip, of course!
Don’t invite a sponge to a party. They’ll drink you out of house and home!
Did you hear about the sponge who went to art school? It’s a real soak-up artist!
I’m starting a sponge-collecting club. It’s really soaking up my time!

Funny Sponge Jokes With One Liner Clever Sponge Puns at PunnyFunny.com

Funny Sponge One-Liner Jokes: Soak Up the Laughter

I tried to make furniture out of sponges once… it was a sofa-king disaster.
What do you call a sponge who never washes the dishes? A freeloader!
My friend said his new apartment is absorbent… turns out, it was just a sponge factory.
Sponges are great listeners, they’re very porous.
I threw a sponge at my friend… he’s not talking to me anymore, I think I hit a nerve.
Never ask a sponge their opinion, they’re always soaked in bias.
A sponge walked into a bar and said, “I’ll take whatever you’re having!”
My wallet is like a sponge, the moment I get paid it sucks everything up.
Life is like a sponge, it’s meaningless without squeezing something good out of it.
I went to a sponge party last night, it was totally DRY…
You know what they say about guys who use sponges to apply makeup… smooth operators.
I dated a sponge once… no commitment issues there, she was totally absorbing!
Did you hear about the sponge who went to art school? He really soaked up the information.
What music do sponges listen to? Anything but heavy metal, it rusts them.
What do you get when you cross a sponge and a dinosaur? I don’t know, but whatever it is, it soaks up the Jurassic period!
Being a sponge entrepreneur is tough, business is always dry.
I tried to explain to my sponge the importance of self-expression… it just sat there and soaked it all in.

QnA Jokes & Puns about Sponge: Absorbing the Funniest

Q: Why did the dishcloth break up with the sponge? A: Because he said he wanted to live life on the edge of the sink!
Q: What do you call a sponge that refuses to work? A: A stiff competitor!
Q: Why did the sponge fail its driving test? A: It kept hitting the brakes and absorbing the pressure!
Q: Why did the sponge get a job at the carwash? A: It was a natural at soaking up the work!
Q: What do you call a sponge that’s always getting into trouble? A: A pore sport!
Q: What’s a sponge’s least favorite chore? A: Dishes! They hate feeling used and abused.
Q: What’s a sponge’s favorite musical? A: “Beauty and the Bath!”
Q: Why did the sponge cross the road? A: It was tired of being left in the sink!
Q: Why are sponges so absorbent? A: They’re always willing to soak up new information!
Q: What did the ocean say to the sponge? A: Nothing, it just waved!
Q: How do you find a lost sponge? A: Follow the trail of bubbles!
Q: What’s a sponge’s favorite type of music? A: Anything but heavy metal – they hate feeling washed up!
Q: What do you call a group of singing sponges? A: A bath tub chorale!
Q: Why was the sponge always invited to parties? A: He was known for really soaking up the atmosphere!
Q: What do you get if you cross a sponge with a vegetable? A: I don’t know, but it would probably be good at soaking up gravy!

Dad Jokes about Sponge: Guaranteed to Make You Laugh and Groan

Why did the sponge get a job at the carwash? It was always up for a little soak!
What’s a sponge’s favorite musical genre? Anything but heavy metal!
I tried to make furniture out of sponges once… It was a terrible idea, the whole thing fell apart!
Heard about the sponge that went to art school? It really soaked up the information!
Why don’t sponges ever win arguments? Because they always take things lying down!
My wife told me to buy a sponge and a dish for the kitchen. I think she’s trying to tell me to do the dishes!
What did the ocean say to the sponge? Nothing, it just waved!
How do you make a sponge cake? You throw it in the bath!
I met a magic sponge at a party the other day… It vanished before my very eyes!
Why was the sponge late for work? He couldn’t find his keys, they kept slipping his mind!
What does a detective sponge use to solve mysteries? Deductive reasoning!
Why are sponges such good listeners? Because they always soak up the conversation!
Where do baby sponges sleep? In a crib, but they always try to crawl out!
I saw a sponge driving a really nice car yesterday… Must have been living the high-pore life!
What do you get when you cross a sponge and a starfish? I don’t know, but it’s probably absorbent and sticky!
What does a sea sponge use to call his friends? A shell-phone!

Funny Quotes and Captions about Sponge: Soaking Up the Laughter

My bank account after payday is like a dry sponge. Briefly satisfied, then back to absorbing nothing.
Dating a sponge would be tough. They’re cute when they’re young, but they really lose their shape after a while.
My brain during exams is like a sponge… completely saturated and unable to retain another drop.
You know you’ve reached peak adulthood when you get genuinely excited about a new type of sponge.
Tried doing a juice cleanse. Turns out my body is more of a pizza and beer sponge.
I’m not saying I’m lazy, but I once considered hiring a personal dish-sponge squeezer.
The sponge is the most optimistic household item. It gets thrown in the dirt, but always believes it can clean things up.
Remember, life is like a sponge: It’s pointless unless you get something out of it.
They say we only use 10% of our brains. The other 90% is clearly a sponge for useless trivia.
The real reason Spongebob lives in a pineapple? Rent for a regular house under the sea is just unabsorbent.
I tried explaining to my sponge that we all feel used sometimes. It just sat there, soaking it in.
My friend said his memory is like a sponge. I told him that’s great, as long as he remembers to rinse out the bad stuff sometimes.
Never argue with a sponge. They’re always right, and they always have the last word. (A clean one, that is!)
Sponges: Proof that even the most absorbent things have their limits. Except for my ex’s need for attention, that is.
Just saw a documentary about the history of sponges. I have to admit, it was surprisingly absorbing.
Life lesson: Be the sponge, not the dishwater. Absorb the good, filter out the bad.
I tried to make a sculpture out of a sponge once. It was an absolute… wait for it… failure.

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Sponge: So absorbent, they’ll soak up your laughter

A friend in need is a friend who won’t judge how much you soak up the free drinks.
Don’t cry over spilled milk, unless it landed on your last clean sponge. Then panic is acceptable.
A penny saved is a penny…well, you can’t really save pennies in a sponge, can you?
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise enough to buy sponges in bulk.
Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to sponge, and he’ll never have to do dishes.
The early bird gets the worm, but the patient sponge gets magnificently plump in the bubble bath.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it probably could have been cleaned faster with a really big sponge.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two sponges make dishwashing significantly less dreadful.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a sponge a day keeps the “Did you seriously use that to clean the toilet?” look at bay.
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, unless that basket is filled with soft, absorbent sponges. Then, go for it.
The grass is always greener on the other side…especially if you used a brand-new sponge to clean your windows.
You can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can judge a sponge by how much spilled coffee it can conquer.
Good things come to those who wait, and great things come to those who own a wide variety of sponges.
Silence is golden, unless you’re squeezing the water out of a sponge. That sound is strangely satisfying.
A watched pot never boils, but a soaked sponge never fails to leave a puddle on the counter.
Life is like a box of sponges; full of possibilities for cleaning, absorbing, and occasionally getting stuck in awkward places.

Sponge Double Entendres Puns: Soak Up the Humor

“He tried to discreetly sponge off his friend’s wealth, but his absorbent personality made it obvious.” (Playing on the dual meaning of sponging as borrowing money and being absorbent)
“The comedian’s act was so dry, even a sponge couldn’t have soaked up the awkwardness.” (Playing on the dual meaning of sponge as an absorbent material and something that absorbs humor)
“They said I was acting like a sponge around my crush, but I was just soaking up their presence.” (Playing on the dual meaning of sponge absorbing liquid and someone being overly attentive)
“My friend’s a real sponge for punishment; he just signed up for another dating app.” (Playing on the dual meaning of sponge being able to withstand pressure and someone who endures unpleasant situations)
“She felt like a sponge squeezed dry after another emotionally draining day at work.” (Playing on the dual meaning of sponge being wrung out and someone feeling emotionally exhausted)
“He tried to sponge the memory of their breakup from his mind, but it kept flooding back.” (Playing on the dual meaning of sponge wiping something clean and trying to forget something)
“The art critic described the sculpture as having the artistic merit of a used kitchen sponge.” (Playing on the dual meaning of sponge being mundane and something lacking value)
“They tried to keep their relationship a secret, but gossip spread faster than mold on a damp sponge.” (Playing on the dual meaning of sponge growing mold and secrets not being kept)
“He was such a sponge for praise, even a backhanded compliment inflated his ego.” (Playing on the dual meaning of sponge absorbing liquid and someone craving compliments)
“She was tired of feeling like a sponge, constantly absorbing everyone else’s problems but her own.” (Playing on the dual meaning of sponge absorbing liquids and someone taking on others’ burdens)
“The politician promised to be a sponge for the people’s voices, but it seemed like his ears were made of Teflon.” (Playing on the dual meaning of sponge being absorbent and someone being receptive)
“Trying to teach him new things was like trying to hydrate a dry sponge – impossible.” (Playing on the dual meaning of sponge being resistant to absorbing liquid and someone being stubborn)
“Their love was like a sponge left in the sink – constantly expanding and threatening to overflow.” (Playing on the dual meaning of sponge expanding when wet and love growing stronger)
“He might have acted tough, but underneath it all, he was just a sensitive sponge.” (Playing on the dual meaning of sponge being soft and someone being emotionally vulnerable)

Funny Sponge Tom Swifties: Absorbingly Hilarious

“This sponge doesn’t soak up water very well,” said Tom dryly.
“I love using this soft sponge for cleaning,” Tom said smoothly.
“I used to have a job making these sponges,” Tom said porously.
“This sponge is really old and crumbly,” Tom said disintegratedly.
“Be careful, this sponge is soaked with soap!” Tom said sudsily.
“I can’t believe how much water this sponge can hold!” Tom exclaimed absorbingly.
“This sponge is perfect for wiping up spills,” Tom stated cleanly.
“I wonder where I left that sponge?” Tom asked searchingly.
“This sponge is so squishy!” Tom remarked squeezably.
“I’m going to use this sponge to wash the car,” Tom said carwashingly.
“Don’t squeeze the sponge too hard!” Tom shouted wringingly.
“My favorite sea creature is a sponge,” Tom said poriferanly.
“This sponge reminds me of the ocean,” Tom said saltily.
“This sponge is great for cleaning dishes,” Tom announced dishwashingly.
“Wow, this sponge is absolutely filthy,” Tom said dirtily.
“I think I’ll buy this pack of sponges,” Tom said absorbentedly.
“This sponge really soaks up the fun,” Tom said dryly.

Knock-Knock Jokes about Sponge: Absorb the Laughter

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sponge. Sponge who? Sponge over it, I had to wash the dishes!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Sponge. Sponge who? Sponge you’re happy to see me!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sponge. Sponge who? Sponge you know it’s important to clean up spills quickly?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sponge. Sponge who? Sponge get your mind out of the gutter, I’m just a cleaning tool!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Sponge. Sponge who? Sponge-taneous combustion is a serious concern, you know.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Sponge. Sponge who? Sponge you brought your appetite, these leftovers are getting cold!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sponge. Sponge who? Sponge you heard the one about the comedian who used a sponge as a microphone? It really soaked up the laughs!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Sponge. Sponge who? Sponge-bob Squarepants called, he wants his pants back!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Sponge. Sponge who? Sponge you think we could borrow a cup of sugar? We’re making a cake!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sponge. Sponge who? Sponge you like to come in? I just cleaned the floors, but try not to drip any water!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Sponge. Sponge who? Sponge as my grandma used to say, cleanliness is next to godliness!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Sponge. Sponge who? Sponge you need a laugh today, right?
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sponge. Sponge who? Sponge-der no more, your chariot awaits!